World record Cigar

You would have to use a shop vac just to light the thing and get the draw started!
 
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHHHHH!!!

And Capt would know that for a FACT!!! If he don't know, nobody does. That's pretty cool. In essence, you'd be turning the shop vac in to a world record torch lighter, hee, hee, heee!!!