Top this one & get a prize.

[Nails]

Where are the story tellers?
Need a new thread.
Here are the rules.
Top my dream.
Showgirls, rare scotch & cigars.
Stories need to be true or identify that it is one you heard.
I'll offer a prize to the story I like best.
There will be multiple prizes.
I'll respond YOU WIN.
If you get a YOU WIN- you have to PM me with your mailing info.
Malone

 

[bildo792]

this one time, at band camp...
wait i should prob save that for pm :shock:

 

[Markus59]

hmm..showgirls, rare scotch and cigars. That would be tough to beat. I could tell a couple stories about Costa Rican prostitutes, Guaro, and cigarettes. Not sure how to tell it in mixed company, let me think about it

 

[mikegunner]

Just make sure the stories are no worse than PG-13. Alot of people forget that we have members of the forums that are as young as 13 years old.

Don't post anything you would not want your 13 year old child to read!

 

[CastleCrest]

Just make sure the stories are no worse than PG-13. Alot of people forget that we have members of the forums that are as young as 13 years old.

Don't post anything you would not want your 13 year old child to read!

This Kills it it for me

 

[kman6234]

Story

I have a story for you malone that involves rare scotch, cigars, and golf however no showgirls...

First i'll give you some background information about myself... I'm a college student in upstate NY currently going into my senior year. The story im about to tell happen during the spring of last year while i was golfing with my roomate who was randomly assigned to my room during the room selection process.

Last spring during my sophmore year of college, i was assigned a random roomate who would be considered a parents worse nightmare. My roomate who i'll call "john" lived an extravagent lifestyle w/the money he made from his drug business. John drank fine bottles of champange, vodka, scotch and wiskey all day everyday.(When I say "everyday" I really mean "EVERYDAY") he wore rolex watches and smoked fine cigars. John was an alcoholic
and a drug dealer however one couldnt have asked for a better roomate if it was fun that you were looking for.
Anyway it was spring and john and I both had a love for golf so everyday after my classes (Johns classes didnt matter b/c he skipped them) we would head over to college hill golf course in near bye poughkeepsie. John would always pay for my round of golf and buy me a cigar b/c i had limited funds. He was just happy to have a golf partner ready to play whenever it was nice outside. This one day john and I go to the course and rent our usual motorized cart (b/c john refused to walk) and begin our round. All was well for the first few holes of our round as we sped along cigars in hand with john's bottle of johnny walker blue label next to him in the center console. Now i'm not much of a drinker ( I usually stick to beer) but by the 6th hole john had really put a dent in this expensive bottle. The 6th hole of college hill golf course is the courses signiture hole... considing of a large 60 degree decline in the fairway. We both take our tee shots, and mine lands on the left side of the fairway; while johns lands in the right rough. John floors the golf cart and we head off in seach of his ball speeding down the mountain-like hill like a bat out of hell. I was holding on tight to the steal bars that hold the roof of the golf cart to the frame b/c it was clear to me that the cart was not meant to travel at such high speeds. Now clearly a bit intoxicated my roomate decides to steer the cart off the fairway and into the right rough. All was fine until i noticed that we were heading toward a low lying tree branch. Traveling a such a high speed there was no time to react and i knew that impact was imminent so i dove out of the speeding golf cart and tumbled down the hill. John however wasnt so lucky... the cart hit the branch dead on and the branch ripped the roof of the cart off like a can opener. the front 2 wheels of the cart were propelled 4 feet into the air and john was thrown from the cart. During this process johns cigar and bottle of johnny walker were both destroyed however luckily my CAO maduro escaped unharmed. Completely amazed at the events that just took place i didnt know whether to laugh or yell at my dumbass roomate. I ended up doing both. Needless to say we finished our round at college hill golf courses in its first ever convertable golf cart model. When we rolled in past the 18th hole without a roof to our cart the we gave the old timers quite a laugh; however the park ranger nearly had a heart attack... he had never seen anything like this happen before in his 40 years at the course. Needless to say john paid for the repairs to the cart and i've switched roomates.

 

[Macallan]

:lol:

 

[Jason Demond]

How about this..

I dreamt I got up, smoked a Cusano, mowed the lawn, smoked another Cusano, drank some Makers Mark, and went to sleep.

So far today I smoked two cigars, mowed the lawn, drank some Makers Mark, but am still awake.

My dream must have been flawed, because there was nothing about this thread in it. :x

 

[chickenfried]

My suggestion, for continuity you should replace mowing the lawn with another bourbon session

 

[KAZ]

Here goes Malone: In my dream I'm the most powerful man on the face of the planet. I live in the most expensive house, full of priceless artwork with servants, and bodyguards to keep me safe and cater to every whim. As a matter of fact I have unlimited access to a fine humidor with famous labels and many mystery sticks with no label, but, a very fine aroma. No one ever complains about cigar smoke, and, all of my favorite pals smoke stogies. My spirits cabinet is stocked with the best liquors from every corner of the world. I am surrounded by interns who remember all of my favorites and those of my friends. On a moments notice I can have one of a fleet of jets fly in the the creme de creme of Vegas showgirls, for some high kicking for the ceiling entertainment. My name is Bill, who am I?