# The most meaningful cigar of my life (so far)



## TommyTree (Jan 7, 2012)

I'll warn you, this is a downer story, but it's a lot easier for me to tell because of two BOTLs.

About four hours ago, my wife told me that she wants a divorce. I knew things weren't going well - me being unemployed and underemployed for so long strained our relationship, but she said she's been unhappy for much longer than that and had no interest on working to make things better. Good news is that she will let me see my stepdaughter, and it should be amicable, so it could be worse.

I called a few friends, and the first to call me back was Brandon (bwhite220). I know he hasn't been on here much, but don't let that make you underestimate what a credit he is to this community. He and Payton, a friend from the B&M who hasn't joined Puff _yet_, took me out to Buffalo Wild Wings to get me away from it all while I vented and pulled myself together. Not only did Brandon buy my beer and wings, we then went out to his car, where he gave me a wonderful Oliva V lancero to smoke. I am now sure I will forever associate this cigar not with the horrible ending of my marriage but with the way my cigar brethren came together to walk me through.

Brandon (and Payton, when he finally joins), I don't care if this embarrasses you, because I felt compared to share the blessing you were to me. Thank you again.


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## Matt4370 (Jan 14, 2012)

Tommy I am really sorry to hear this brother. As a man who has been there, twice, I know how tough it can be. Stay strong and know this, things will be OK.


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## lostdog13 (Jan 16, 2012)

I am really sorry to hear that brother. Glad you had some good friends close by to lean on.


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## mcgreggor57 (Nov 3, 2011)

Thanks for sharing your story Tom, but hate to hear about the divorce. Friends are good!


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## smelvis (Sep 7, 2009)

I will add mine as, I'm sorry Tom I have also been there and just maybe it will be for the better I hope so.


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## Michigan_Moose (Oct 11, 2011)

Brother, we love you and we are all pained to hear this... keep your head up and we will help you to get through this.

Moose


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## Mante (Dec 25, 2009)

Shit, for once I do not know what to say even though I've been there. Look to yourself Tom, it's all you can do. Find "you" and enjoy the hell out of life as yourself. You seem to have got the right start on this track via your mates, kudos to them. Be well brother & strive to be happy! :thumb:


N.B. I use "brother" rarely, in this case it is heartfelt.


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## Macke (Aug 20, 2011)

My condolences brother. I really hate to see something like this happen to such a great guy.. I'll shoot you a PM and you let me know if you need anything, and I mean it man.


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## szyzk (Nov 27, 2010)

Sorry to heart that, Tommy, but if you have rights to visit your stepdaughter and good friends to help you along the way it sounds like at least the first hurdle or two are already taken care of for you. Keep your chin up.


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## Goldstein (Mar 7, 2012)

Tom, I am very sorry to hear this. Make sure you ask for help if you need it. As hard as it is sometime, never be too proud to ask for help. Cheers to your BOTL who stepped up for you last night.


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## mmiller (Nov 17, 2011)

Sorry to hear about your situation but it seems that BOTLs are always there when you need them. Every time I smoke a cigar I think about how everyone came to support me when I lost my father by gifting me my first and only humidor as well as quite a few cigars to get me started.


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## fiddlegrin (Feb 8, 2009)

I too stand quietly with you...

This is certainly a challenging change for you to deal with. 
I am so thankful your B.O.T.L.s were able to be there...

Stay strong good Sir.


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## DarrelMorris (Feb 7, 2012)

I'm very sorry to hear about your troubles. I've come close to your situation and it was was the most painful period of my life. Be strong and you will get through this and you will be better off in the long run. Remember you are not alone. You have the friends that got you through last night and many more friends here. You will survive this. You will find happiness again.


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## abe (Apr 3, 2012)

I am sorry to hear this man and all I can say, like everyone else so far, is keep your head up, stay strong and NEVER be afraid to ask for help...thats what we are here for I think...


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## android (Feb 27, 2012)

Tom, sorry to hear this man. It will be a difficult transition, but try to find the silver lining and stay strong, it will put you in a better place.


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## aaron72 (Jul 14, 2011)

As the others have mentioned, I'm sorry to hear about this. Just know that you have a great support group here and make sure you reach out to us whenever you feel the need.


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## WV_cigar_guy (Feb 19, 2012)

Tom, I'm sorry to hear this. From the little I have been able to talk to you, it's a shame a person such as yourself has to be put through such things as this. But it is the horrible things that happen to us in life which allow us to appreciate the truly wonderful things. It's good you have people there to support you, and awesome that you will still be able to see your stepdaughter. I wish you all the best.


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## kozzman555 (Sep 10, 2011)

Bachelor party!!!! Get the strippers and liquor!!!!! Party up in here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## TommyTree (Jan 7, 2012)

I can't tell you how grateful I am to all my brothers and sisters from the tobacco community. I am really fortunate to be able to call you all friends.

And Kozz, strippers are definitely on the agenda.


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## Michigan_Moose (Oct 11, 2011)

Ok but i have only danced once before... I will try real hard to stay on the poll.


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## kozzman555 (Sep 10, 2011)

Tom, I gotz some liquor now. We're gettin drunk together on vherf tonight dude


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## REDROMMY (Jan 17, 2011)

kozzman555 said:


> Tom, I gotz some liquor now. We're gettin drunk together on vherf tonight dude


Im in.


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## kozzman555 (Sep 10, 2011)

REDROMMY said:


> Im in.


You're not old enough to drunk. Feel free to come by when you're all grown up  LOL


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## REDROMMY (Jan 17, 2011)

Shitty to hear a brother going through something like that and i do hope things work out for you man. Best of luck and im glad you can still see your stepdaughter. Were all here man.


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## jeepman_su (Mar 8, 2012)

Best of luck Tom it was a great story! So happy she let you still see your step daughter! Also happy to hear it was amicable, when they get messy everybody gets hurt! I am just so fortunate that all the **** i am going through was with a girl that I wasn't married too. Although when you live together for 4 years, have a house, and share bank accounts it still gets tricky. Fortunately she is a good girl and doesn't want to hurt me anymore than she has, so she is making things as easy on me as possible!


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## skfr518 (Jul 4, 2011)

Wow Tommy very sorry to hear this brother!!!


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

Tommy, I'm really sorry to year about that, man. But, I'm very glad for you that it's relatively amicable, and especially to hear you'll be in your step-daughter's life.

Take some time to reflect on what happened, and ways in which you can now work to be the best man you can be for your step-daughter throughout this time. The most important thing in a girl's life is her father figure, and your responsibility is now be the best possible man you can be, for her sake!

Take care, Tommy. If you ever need an ear or a sounding board, feel free to holla at me.


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## Vicini (Oct 10, 2010)

Sorry to hear about your marriage. But glad to see you have some good friends to help you through.


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## Bunnosaurusrex (Feb 1, 2012)

Im not goig to say im sorry... Thats been said enough by everyone else! You have friends both here and there that will always lend an ear and a kind word or an ass kicking if its needed... And you have a stepdaughter to be strong for and the strong come out on top so keep that chin up and all will be ok in the end my friend!


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## tmmedic20 (Oct 30, 2011)

Sorry to hear about the marriage man...

On the bight side you have a lot of friends here that are always willing to be supportive and lend a helping cigar/pipe.

On the bright side, The answer to your PM to me was this "Just say when, and it will be done!"

Thomas


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## neil (Aug 21, 2011)

you know we're all here for you, brother! thats what makes this such a great place to be, the brotherhood. if you ever need someone to talk to/get drunk with/ smoke with/ beat at poker, im always a vherf away!


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## IBEW (Jan 17, 2009)

Tommy - I've been through it twice, trust me when I say this....
If it's inevitable this is going to happen, be strong,
do not look to the past - look to the future,
*your best days are to come.*

It may be hard to believe today, just trust me, it's true.


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## Kindanutz (Jan 31, 2012)

Damn brotha!... Really sorry to hear about your divorce... I hope things work out for you... It's great to have buddies to fall back on in situations such as these... Hold your head up man!...


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## BMack (Dec 8, 2010)

Friends are the foundation of a recovery, they will help you get through it. By the response in this thread, it sure looks like you have a lot of friends!


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## ouirknotamuzd (Jan 29, 2011)

you'll survive this, Tommy...that's what vHerf and alcohol and friends are for right now

besides, Brent's gonna pole dance for ya


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## Bad Finger (Jan 5, 2011)

Damn. 



I'll let you know when I come up with more words.

On a side note, I hope your mailbox is nailed down.


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## Oldmso54 (Jul 31, 2010)

Kudos to your friends and BOTL who stepped up that night and Tom, you know the rest of us are here for you!!! Don't hesitate to reach out if you need to...
Shawn

PS - DO NOT LET MOOSE DANCE ON A POLE (or a poll for that matter)


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## TommyTree (Jan 7, 2012)

And this is the great things about life and cigars. My most meaningful smoke has changed. Today, I was smoking an original release Perdomo that Ron generously sent me. It was a great cigar, and then, about a third of the way through, my daughter called me from her mother's work and asked me to pick her up. I kept the cigar burning as I drove, and was still enjoying it when we got back to the house. Then she asked if, when I finished with everything, we could go for a walk. Well, screw the guys on V-herf, and the cigar can go with me. So she actually rode her bike while I walked along behind and puff and reflected on how, despite all that's going on, my daughter still wants to spend time with me and still wants me to be there for her. I finished the cigar, but I don't remember much about it. Of course, if I'd paid more attention to the cigar, I might have missed out on what was happening while I smoked it. Thanks for the cigar, Ron. You're now part of a big upswing in my life's story.


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## bwhite220 (May 15, 2011)

Tommy! You don't have to give me any props for that night. You know I love hanging out with you. I'm glad I could be there for you bro and I'm always there!


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## TommyTree (Jan 7, 2012)

bwhite220 said:


> Tommy! You don't have to give me any props for that night. You know I love hanging out with you. I'm glad I could be there for you bro and I'm always there!


Dude, I'm doing much better now because you were there. I got a lot out of my system that night, and it's been relatively smooth since then. Also, to everyone else, now that Brandon's showing up back here on Puff, feel free to bomb him for staying away so long.


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## bwhite220 (May 15, 2011)

Whoa whoa whoa! Send Tommy the bombs! He loves Oliva V's!


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## kapathy (Nov 20, 2010)

bwhite220 said:


> Whoa whoa whoa! Send Tommy the bombs! He loves Oliva V's!


nah, i dont think thats on anyones agenda.


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## jphank (Apr 29, 2012)

Late to the party, but I just have to add that friends really do make the world go round, and they really are our chosen family.

Props for hanging in there with your stepdaughter. Having done this once, it's rough on the kids, too, but she's got you to help her through!


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## TommyTree (Jan 7, 2012)

jphank said:


> she's got you to help her through!


Really, I think you got that backward. She's been much more a comfort to me than I've ever been to her.


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## Kelsier (Feb 23, 2012)

Been away for a couple of weeks but I just saw this thread. I'm pretty new here, but even in my first few months you've really stood out as one of the great members of this community. You're a good guy, Tom, and you've made a ton of friends here because of it. Remember that we're here for you if you ever get down or need to vent. I know how difficult and confusing this situation can be - just trust in karma and keep on truckin' and everything will turn out for the best in the end.


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## longburn (Mar 28, 2009)

Hi Tom, I don't know you but I feel your pain and can relate to it. I think everything happens for a reason and I think bad things happen so we can better appreciate the good when it comes along. Without bad things we would have nothing to compare the good to. Good will come again as it always does. Patience and fortitude takes you through times such as these. The best of luck.


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