# ISOM Backlash



## stevieray (Sep 28, 2006)

My wife thinks that I have totally lost it. After smoking my first ISOM the other day I was discussing the need to procure some more "darkside" cigars. She hits me with the " dont you have enough cigars in the 2 humidors on your desk and the cooler in your closet" response. I have to admit its not the easiest thing to explain to somebody that doesn't appreciate cigars. Anyway, after a 20 minute discussion about my over abundance of cigars, I sit here typing this post feeling guilty about my cigar collection and trying to figure out how my talk of cigars led to my wife talking me into remodeling another part of our house.
Oh well, I guess it's time to call the contractor.......


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## OilMan (May 12, 2006)

wow, thats kinda rough. But I do understand. My wife thinks I'm crazy also


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

Sweet.... You get to buy more ISOMs!  Welcome to the Dark Side.

~d.


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## opus (Jun 21, 2005)

Explain to her that you *need* Cuban cigars to give to the generous brothers that gift you cigars. Of course you must do quality assurance checks (read smoking them) on a regular basis to make sure you are not sending crap. Also they are cheaper than high end NCs, it's just that you have to buy them by the 50 cab to reap the savings. Think how much money you will be saving for future remodeling projects, always putting your wife's concerns before your own.  Hope that helps a little. I don't think my wife would buy it though, she has heard plenty of my sh*t before.


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## ATLHARP (May 3, 2005)

stevieray said:


> My wife thinks that I have totally lost it. After smoking my first ISOM the other day I was discussing the need to procure some more "darkside" cigars. She hits me with the " dont you have enough cigars in the 2 humidors on your desk and the cooler in your closet" response. I have to admit its not the easiest thing to explain to somebody that doesn't appreciate cigars. Anyway, after a 20 minute discussion about my over abundance of cigars, I sit here typing this post feeling guilty about my cigar collection and trying to figure out how my talk of cigars led to my wife talking me into remodeling another part of our house.
> Oh well, I guess it's time to call the contractor.......


Tell her " I don't count how many shoes you have."

Look it's your $$$, do with it what you want. You work to provide yourself a living so that you can enjoy your life. There should be no guilt there. The only guilt should be from the ones who seek to deny that.:2

ATL


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## muziq (Mar 14, 2005)

ATLHARP said:


> Tell her " I don't count how many shoes you have."
> 
> Look it's your $$$, do with it what you want. You work to provide yourself a living so that you can enjoy your life. There should be no guilt there. The only guilt should be from the ones who seek to deny that.:2
> 
> ATL


I got your back here--ATLHARP is right on the money. It's alright for both husband and wife to have personal indulgences, and so long as they don't cause problems (e.g. exorbitant cc bills, neglected work/life duties, etc), everyone should feel alright about them. There is another route, which you took, which also works for many couples--quid pro quo. You get ISOMs, she gets an add-on to the house. It's slightly more adversarial than happily accepting one another's indulgences, but sometimes that's the only way it's gonna work out between two people who are committed to a marriage.


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## opus (Jun 21, 2005)

You guys aren't married , are you.


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## shaggy (Dec 28, 2006)

your wife is right....u should send them all to me....lol


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## stevieray (Sep 28, 2006)

opusxox said:


> You guys aren't married , are you.


lol right....


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## Blaylock-cl (Apr 28, 2006)

When I first read this, I thought ...maybe you should ask the contractor about suggestions for building a "cigar lounge"... but I see, in your latest post, you've already started that project ..and it looks good.



stevieray said:


> ...trying to figure out how my talk of cigars led to my wife talking me into remodeling another part of our house.
> Oh well, I guess it's time to call the contractor.......


Sounds like a pretty fair compromise to me.


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## Rploaded (Nov 7, 2006)

Well go with the idea and concept that they are cheaper overall and now that you know that you are going to build a collection of cigars that are cheaper but need to age so you will need to buy lots of them so you always have smoking stock.


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## muziq (Mar 14, 2005)

opusxox said:


> You guys aren't married , are you.


Yeah, I am! Well, more or less.  She's still in school, and we're not getting married until after she finishes grad school due to her amazing qualifications for grants and free money (female, non-traditonal student, 4.0 GPA, hispanic, studying in a field mostly populated by male students). If we got married it'd be loan-city. But we've been living together, buying things jointly, etc for over 7 years. Best relationship I've ever been in. Was engaged in my early 20s to a woman who was like most--liked to nag and make me feel bad about drinking beer, going out with the guys, etc...and I managed to dodge that bullet. This one, however, says "cool" to the cigars, beer, going out with friends...and I say "cool" to her buying tons of filmmaking equipment, DVDs, clothes, shoes, etc.


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## RedBaron (Nov 25, 2005)

I think your missing the easiest solution of all, sell all your NCs and Replace them with ISOMs. This way you get all the darkside cigars you want, the wife never knows the differance. If you need more tricks on how to get cigars by your wife please read cabinetstickers guide "How to slip 5 Aristocrats by your wife for dummies" It really helps.


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## Guest (Jan 7, 2007)

RedBaron said:


> I think your missing the easiest solution of all, sell all your NCs and Replace them with ISOMs. This way you get all the darkside cigars you want, the wife never knows the differance. If you need more tricks on how to get cigars by your wife please read cabinetstickers guide "How to slip 5 Aristocrats by your wife for dummies" It really helps.


:tg


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## Gordie (Dec 31, 2005)

Blake Lockhart said:


> When I first read this, I thought ...maybe you should ask the contractor about suggestions for building a "cigar lounge"... but I see, in your latest post, you've already started that project ..and it looks good.
> 
> Sounds like a pretty fair compromise to me.


I say cigar lounge and walk-in humidor. Then, give away the NC's and fill the new humi up with ISOM's.


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## Airborne RU (Oct 7, 2006)

It is hard no doubt about it. Finances, lets face it that is what this discussion is about, are the no.1 point of contention with any marriage.

I suspect all she wants is for you to run your purchases by her first, so she at least has some say in the whole thing. Talk it out. I'm still trying to find a way to tell her I want an aristocrat or avallo cabinet.


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## RedBaron (Nov 25, 2005)

Its so funny you can def tell from the posts who is married and who is not. :r


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## omowasu (Aug 9, 2006)

RedBaron said:


> I think your missing the easiest solution of all, sell all your NCs and Replace them with ISOMs. This way you get all the darkside cigars you want, the wife never knows the differance. If you need more tricks on how to get cigars by your wife please read cabinetstickers guide "How to slip 5 Aristocrats by your wife for dummies" It really helps.


This is a great idea, there are plenty of BOTLs here who are looking for good NC's, and Yahoo auctions allows the sale of cigars. You also dont have to tell the spousal unit that they are Cuban in origin, maybe just say that your tastes have changed and you are picking up some new brands.


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## Sandman (Mar 26, 2006)

RedBaron said:


> I think your missing the easiest solution of all, sell all your NCs and Replace them with ISOMs. This way you get all the darkside cigars you want, the wife never knows the differance. If you need more tricks on how to get cigars by your wife please read cabinetstickers guide "How to slip 5 Aristocrats by your wife for dummies" It really helps.


:tpd: This man knows what he is talking about. Get rid of those NC's fast. Plenty of money for the darkside.


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## RedBaron (Nov 25, 2005)

Thank you , Thank you. Any and all donation can be made directly to my ring gauge. :r


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## EvanS (Dec 29, 2006)

I think you may all be missing the best opportunity here.
You agreed to remodel, right?
And this is because she also agreed to allow more ISOMs, right?
What a combo - I can smell a "contractor error" coming during the remodel. One that is virtually unfixable by reasonable means. One that leads to you and the missus looking at the problem and coming to the obvious conclusion that turning this error into a walk-in humidor is the only rational solution.


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## lenguamor (Nov 23, 2006)

EvanS said:


> I think you may all be missing the best opportunity here.
> You agreed to remodel, right?
> And this is because she also agreed to allow more ISOMs, right?
> What a combo - I can smell a "contractor error" coming during the remodel. One that is virtually unfixable by reasonable means. One that leads to you and the missus looking at the problem and coming to the obvious conclusion that turning this error into a walk-in humidor is the only rational solution.


We have a winner!


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## RPB67 (Mar 26, 2005)

stevieray said:


> My wife thinks that I have totally lost it. After smoking my first ISOM the other day I was discussing the need to procure some more "darkside" cigars. She hits me with the " dont you have enough cigars in the 2 humidors on your desk and the cooler in your closet" response. I have to admit its not the easiest thing to explain to somebody that doesn't appreciate cigars. Anyway, after a 20 minute discussion about my over abundance of cigars, I sit here typing this post feeling guilty about my cigar collection and trying to figure out how my talk of cigars led to my wife talking me into remodeling another part of our house.
> Oh well, I guess it's time to call the contractor.......


Just go point to her pocketbooks and shoes.


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## cls515 (Sep 28, 2005)

I can't see how you could let her stop you from doing something you enjoy, so long as stated above, it is not putting you in financial jeopardy.


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## stevieray (Sep 28, 2006)

thanks for the replies....basically my post was just to vent a little bit. Its funny because since I found this site I check it daily, post a little and read other posts. Basically it's all about cigars. So when I talk to my wife lately about what's on my mind it's all about....you guessed it ...cigars. My wife can't understand what my obsession is with cigars. Now on the other hand maybe my wife is obsessed with remodeling our house.....I'll have to suggest that she do a google search for ClubRemodel.com......


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## stevieray (Sep 28, 2006)

RPB67 said:


> Just go point to her pocketbooks and shoes.


right.....I've been with my wife for 15 years ...and just a couple years ago I learned the value of a Coach purse. Then I looked to see how many she has ( and doesn't use )
It's unreal.


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## Tristan (Jul 11, 2006)

RedBaron said:


> I think your missing the easiest solution of all, sell all your NCs and Replace them with ISOMs.


:r I don't know! I think you'd be missing an entire world of flavor by doing that! Another option is you could do like a friend of mine does (who will go un-named); he says, "Oh honey, I already had these cigars." When she catches you red handed with a new coolerdor, etc, just say, oh, didn't I tell you I had this already? ha ha ha!


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## Bubba -NJ (Dec 6, 2005)

Hide them better . I thought my wife knew about my coolidor , she has been down the basement when I've been going through my stock and never says a word about it . Lately she has been asking why I go into the basement for cigars ? I guess , she has no idea about what is in the cooler down there . Honesty is always best but I don't know about all the clothes she buys and I'm happier that way .


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## MeNimbus (Dec 18, 2006)

Buy her a purse and she will be happy for awhile and leave you alone. Works for me :r


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## burninator (Jul 11, 2006)

Sounds like me. The best you can do is to be open with her. She may not understand it. She may not like it. But she will appreciate that you share with her the details of something you enjoy, and she will be much more likely to understand that it is something you enjoy. When I first started collecting, a few months ago, my wife expressed that she really didn't like me smoking cigars, and she didn't understand why I needed 50 of them when I only smoke once a week. So, what did I do? I stopped talking to her about them. Packages would arrive, and I'd open them when she wasn't in the room. I would talk to my friends about them, but I would be quiet on the subject when she was around. Instead of helping, she was hurt by my secrecy and wanted me to talk to her about it. So, I started consulting her when I'm thinking of making a purchase. She doesn't have the faintest idea what I'm talking about when I talk cigars, but it comforts her that I'm sharing my interest with her, however incomprehensible it may be.


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## RedBaron (Nov 25, 2005)

burninator said:


> Sounds like me. The best you can do is to be open with her. She may not understand it. She may not like it. But she will appreciate that you share with her the details of something you enjoy, and she will be much more likely to understand that it is something you enjoy. When I first started collecting, a few months ago, my wife expressed that she really didn't like me smoking cigars, and she didn't understand why I needed 50 of them when I only smoke once a week. So, what did I do? I stopped talking to her about them. Packages would arrive, and I'd open them when she wasn't in the room. I would talk to my friends about them, but I would be quiet on the subject when she was around. Instead of helping, she was hurt by my secrecy and wanted me to talk to her about it. So, I started consulting her when I'm thinking of making a purchase. She doesn't have the faintest idea what I'm talking about when I talk cigars, but it comforts her that I'm sharing my interest with her, however incomprehensible it may be.


Boo this man!! :gn For the love of God man, honesty is the worst policy when it comes to cigars!! This is a freaking life long covert mission, you don't go freely admitting to having a cigar problem to your signifigant other!


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## burninator (Jul 11, 2006)

RedBaron said:


> Boo this man!! :gn For the love of God man, honesty is the worst policy when it comes to cigars!! This is a freaking life long covert mission, you don't go freely admitting to having a cigar problem to your signifigant other!


:r

That's the natural reaction....but she may be so surprised she shuts up about it.  j/k oh, how different women are from men.


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## fpkjr (Mar 6, 2006)

stevieray said:


> right.....I've been with my wife for 15 years ...and just a couple years ago I learned the value of a Coach purse. Then I looked to see how many she has ( and doesn't use )
> It's unreal.


You've been married 15 years? I've been for 22 years, do you want to know how to stop all the BS. Collect all the things she has but never uses, put them into a box, leave it out in the front hall for a few days then tell her your not touching the savings or checking or CC, your selling the contents of the box for a few PLPC Cabs.. Trust me, that would be the end of the story. If you have to curtail your cigar spending tell her its an equal road sweetheart then demand the Credit Cards. Once they hear that they choose to ignore the deliveries.


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## cfheater (Jan 14, 2006)

My wife doesn't say a word about me and my cigars until we get into a disagreement. She then brings up cigars and everything else that I don't do. I used to talk to her about cigars but she ends up throwing it in my face everytime. I don't spend any money on anything else as this is the only thing that I really like doing and the best part is she doesn't have a job. I have worked for the last 18 years paying the mortgage and everything else. Including running and paying for a small business. Again I never hear about anything until we have a disagreement and them WHAMO it all comes out, that I spend too much time and money on cigars and that I'm pretty much a loser. I say stop telling her anything about what you do that's what I have done. I tell her nothing as she will use it as ammunition on me later and let me tell you she will use it later because woman forget nothing!


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## Isombitch (May 16, 2006)

It's obvious from the incredible variety of tactics and responses in this thread that a strategy is needed and it must fit the wife. Not all wives are the same but they do have similar needs.They like to feel you're being open with them. But don't feel the need to bare your soul. It's a touchy subject that requires a certain degree of tact if she disapproves of your habit.

But if she's smart she'll give you some leeway. And if she's really smart you're screwed. :r


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## BiggDawg (Jan 7, 2007)

stevieray said:


> Anyway, after a 20 minute discussion about my over abundance of cigars, I sit here typing this post *feeling guilty *about my cigar collection .......


I find that if I'm *feeling guilty*, a few minutes with a good cigar always makes me feel better...

And, it helps to reduce the "over abundance" of those cigars.

*WIN/WIN* for everybody!


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## grinch (Sep 30, 2006)

God, this is why I'm happy to be here, amongst people who can understand what we Brothers and Sisters of the leaf must go through! My own little support group.:ss


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## adsantos13 (Oct 10, 2006)

Luckily, I get home 2 hours earlier than my wife. More than enough time to pick up packages, unpack them, and get rid of the evidence :ss


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## stevieray (Sep 28, 2006)

adsantos13 said:


> Luckily, I get home 2 hours earlier than my wife. More than enough time to pick up packages, unpack them, and get rid of the evidence :ss


I use the same tactics.


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