# Anti-Smoke Nazi stories



## Stinkdyr

I just have to repost what I wrote on another site cuz I am having such a good laugh reliving the experience:

I shyt you not...there I was, there I was, sitting at my little table at a little bar in Rio last summer minding my own, smoking a lovely Dona Flor robusto. I am ABSOLUTELY SURROUNDED by cariocas toking cigarettes non-stop and---no I am not making this up--a table of 5 next to me herking on a HOOKAH, and the waiter came up to me to request that I move outside cuz my cigar smoke was bothering the other patrons! :smoke2:


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## RCReecer

I was in my car, with the top down, running some errands. A car pulls up next to me with a family inside, the woman rolls down her window, and exclaims "I don't understand why you're smoking that thing!" I simply replied with "I don't know why you reproduced!" She rolled up her window and we went on our merry ways.


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## redlegrod

RCReecer said:


> I was in my car, with the top down, running some errands. A car pulls up next to me with a family inside, the woman rolls down her window, and exclaims "I don't understand why you're smoking that thing!" I simply replied with "I don't know why you reproduced!" She rolled up her window and we went on our merry ways.


:laugh: I wish I could have seen her face! That would have been too funny!

Rod


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## afilter

I work in one of the largest Anti-smoking conclaves of the USA, Madison, WI. I often smoke in my car during my commute in and out of the liberal republic of Madison just to piss people off.


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## Cigary

RCReecer said:


> I was in my car, with the top down, running some errands. A car pulls up next to me with a family inside, the woman rolls down her window, and exclaims "I don't understand why you're smoking that thing!" I simply replied with "I don't know why you reproduced!" She rolled up her window and we went on our merry ways.


Classic answer,,,,,you need to meet up with us fellow Ga. brothers at Papis next week. Your personality is perfect fit!:laugh:


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## BillyVoltaire

Did you fellow Georgians see that they outlawed smoking in Glover Park, in the town square of Marietta? Unbelievable.

BV


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## orca99usa

> I was in my car, with the top down, running some errands. A car pulls up next to me with a family inside, the woman rolls down her window, and exclaims "I don't understand why you're smoking that thing!" I simply replied with "I don't know why you reproduced!" She rolled up her window and we went on our merry ways.


Great response. Judgmental people are always befuddled when you come back at them with humor, because their lives lack it.

This reminds me of a story I heard from a college classmate who was in Navy ROTC. He and a ROTC buddy were walking across campus in their dress whites when a peacenik approached them. She said that she couldn't understand how they could "kill all those innocent babies" (which was curious, because there was no war going on at the time). Without missing a beat the friend said "We never kill more than we can eat", and kept walking.


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## Yellowfever

I have had a similar experience on an outdoor patio of a bar/restaurant. People smoking cigarettes like crazy and the manager RUDELY asked me to put the cigar out. I tried to argue my point with all the cigarette smokers out there what was the problem. They have as no cigar/clove policy. I guess they only want people to smoke the stinky smokes and not the good smelling ones. Anyways after a little argument I cancelled my drink order and stepped 1 foot to the side which was on the public sidewalk and smoked there. He looked bewildered because I was off his property and on the city property but hadn't moved more than a foot. I said "you didn't think this through before you approached me, did ya?" It was a lose-lose for him. He still had to smell my smoke but couldn't sell me his 12$ martinis anymore.
ound:


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## Jack Straw

orca99usa said:


> Great response. Judgmental people are always befuddled when you come back at them with humor, because their lives lack it.
> 
> This reminds me of a story I heard from a college classmate who was in Navy ROTC. He and a ROTC buddy were walking across campus in their dress whites when a peacenik approached them. She said that she couldn't understand how they could "kill all those innocent babies" (which was curious, because there was no war going on at the time). Without missing a beat the friend said "We never kill more than we can eat", and kept walking.


When my dad was in the army he was in DC in the 70's I think and something like this happened, some girl came up and put a flower down the barrel of his friend's rifle. His friends response was to take the flower out and eat it. :lol:


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## Big Bluto

Awhile back I was smoking a 5 Vegas Alpha with my uncle outside a cafe at lunch and lo and behold, a Granolasaurus Rex pulls some sh** with all that fake coughing and a nasty lick-a-toilet-bowl scowl. Forget the fact that there is a freaking bus stop an arms length away from her ugly jack-o-lantern face that was spewing leaded fuel into the air. I'm normally not such a disgruntled a**hole, but her ugly rake-mouth frown made my cigar taste even better.


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## Cigary

BillyVoltaire said:


> Did you fellow Georgians see that they outlawed smoking in Glover Park, in the town square of Marietta? Unbelievable.
> 
> BV


Yeah,,,I don't go there but it still frosts me that this crap is taking place. Imagine not being able to smoke outside but yet buses, industrial vehicles spewing out all that garbage into the air but yet cigars are off limits,,,,makes perfect sense to me.:spit:



orca99usa said:


> Great response. Judgmental people are always befuddled when you come back at them with humor, because their lives lack it.
> 
> This reminds me of a story I heard from a college classmate who was in Navy ROTC. He and a ROTC buddy were walking across campus in their dress whites when a peacenik approached them. She said that she couldn't understand how they could "kill all those innocent babies" (which was curious, because there was no war going on at the time). Without missing a beat the friend said "We never kill more than we can eat", and kept walking.


 Classic.



Yellowfever said:


> I have had a similar experience on an outdoor patio of a bar/restaurant. People smoking cigarettes like crazy and the manager RUDELY asked me to put the cigar out. I tried to argue my point with all the cigarette smokers out there what was the problem. They have as no cigar/clove policy. I guess they only want people to smoke the stinky smokes and not the good smelling ones. Anyways after a little argument I cancelled my drink order and stepped 1 foot to the side which was on the public sidewalk and smoked there. He looked bewildered because I was off his property and on the city property but hadn't moved more than a foot. I said "you didn't think this through before you approached me, did ya?" It was a lose-lose for him. He still had to smell my smoke but couldn't sell me his 12$ martinis anymore.
> ound:


Great story and I would have done the same.


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## rajuabju

orca99usa said:


> Great response. Judgmental people are always befuddled when you come back at them with humor, because their lives lack it.
> 
> This reminds me of a story I heard from a college classmate who was in Navy ROTC. He and a ROTC buddy were walking across campus in their dress whites when a peacenik approached them. She said that she couldn't understand how they could "kill all those innocent babies" (which was curious, because there was no war going on at the time). Without missing a beat the friend said "We never kill more than we can eat", and kept walking.


Best. Response. Ever.


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## Plop007

Today I was hiking with my Dad and his friends

and one of them asks me if it was true that I smoke cigars.

I said yes I smoke about 1-2 a week. The guy went crazy telling me I am going to die of mouth cancer and also.. my Dad who also smokes cigars tells me "even though your 18 you shouldn't act like your grown up so fast" (something like that)

I just tell them thats their own opinion and that I can smoke whenever the hell i want and how many I want.

Just tyring my best to ignore them..


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## Blackcat

A horrible thing indeed! I still can't understand why you can't smoke in Tobacco shops...??!!!! I mean uhhhhhh are there people here who don't smoke?


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## Stinkdyr

Plop007 said:


> Today I was hiking with my Dad and his friends
> 
> and one of them asks me if it was true that I smoke cigars.
> 
> I said yes I smoke about 1-2 a week. The guy went crazy telling me I am going to die of mouth cancer and also.. my Dad who also smokes cigars tells me "even though your 18 you shouldn't act like your grown up so fast" (something like that)
> 
> I just tell them thats their own opinion and that I can smoke whenever the hell i want and how many I want.
> 
> Just tyring my best to ignore them..


You missed the golden opportunity to tilt the Nanny State towards them. Next time, you tell them, "I am deeply concerned for your health....I see that you drink beer and occasionally eat sugary, fatty donuts...you will die someday from the bad diet choices you are making. And let's up your exercise regimen while we are at it!"

:tease:


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## thesingingfrog

orca99usa said:


> This reminds me of a story I heard from a college classmate who was in Navy ROTC. He and a ROTC buddy were walking across campus in their dress whites when a peacenik approached them. She said that she couldn't understand how they could "kill all those innocent babies" (which was curious, because there was no war going on at the time). Without missing a beat the friend said "We never kill more than we can eat", and kept walking.


Oh wow, that is beautiful


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## deputy

Most of my smoking is done at home so i really don't worry about smoke nazi's.


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## Nurse_Maduro

I'm a lucky man. I actually smoke stogies in public ,_hoping _someone will start up with me, but so far no one has. The first time, at a flea market, I was smoking a Hoyo Dark Sumatra Media Noche and I can't count the number of times I heard things like "that smells really great" or "wow...what kind is that; it's terrific." I even ran home and grabbed a few more to pass out to the people who complimented the smell.

I was smoking a Cohiba at a fair this past summer and this guy actually followed me for several minutes, grilling me about the "Cuban" I was smoking. "It's gotta be Cuban man, that smells too good." I didn't deny it (even though it wasn't); just said "that wouild be illegal, sir." 

Thanks to you all (in this thread and others), I'm building up a huge library of responses for that special day that will eventually come.


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## Cigary

I was just in Palm Beach on vacation and went out early one morning to have a cigar while walking the beach and there were some people out there walking as well. I was enjoying one of my favorite cigars ( Rosarios in New York,,dominican cigar) and saw this man out of the corner of my eye kind of trailing me and knew that my smoke was drifting down his way. He was a good size gentleman and at least 65 years old and from what I could gather was in pretty good shape. I thought he was going to be one of those older guys who stay in good shape by eating bran and tree bark and thus extolling to others that bad habits are not to be enjoyed. I stopped walking and thought to myself, might as well get this over with and let this guy preach to me and try to ruin my morning cigar. He finally walked up to me and says, "I've been trying to keep up with you becuz of that wonderful smelling cigar you have,,,hope you don't mind if I trail off and enjoy it." I laughed and said no problem and had I known I would have brought another for him to enjoy as well. He said he wished but he had to give them up years ago but was glad to be able to follow somebody around just to smell it again. Sometimes we get a little surprise when we are out having a good cigar.


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## Hemingway in Havana

RCReecer said:


> I was in my car, with the top down, running some errands. A car pulls up next to me with a family inside, the woman rolls down her window, and exclaims "I don't understand why you're smoking that thing!" I simply replied with "I don't know why you reproduced!" She rolled up her window and we went on our merry ways.


:tu And *this is the perfect example* of how these  should be responded to!!! My hat's off to you...:yo:


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## JustOneMoreStick

I was enjoying an after dinner smoke (CAO Black) in Catalina Island last December I was used to leaving it on a window sill when we would step into a shop or bar for a quick drink however when I came to Luau Larrys in Avalon I did the same thing. This time I even slid it under the unlit Christmas lights tacked to the window so that it wouldn't blow away (the hot end was a good 3 inches clear of the ledge no problem so I thought). As I stepped through the door a customer seated near the window who seemed "concerned" for my health and safety took it upon himself to loudly inform me and everyone around us that he saw what I did. 

I told him thanks for keeping an eye on my cigar. 

This set him off he began yelling about how I was going to set the building on fire and kill us all when the whole island caught fire. Not wanting any trouble I took great joy in moving my cigar away from the window and watch him watch me make trips out to finish my cigar. Each time I would come back he would complain more loudly, finally I asked the waitress/bartender if they had any problem with me and my cigar the answer was simply "no we are enjoying the show".

So I guess not everyone is totally antismoke in the Peoples republic of California.


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## Nyght81

Just goes to show you how closed-minded people have become. They are so used to smelling stinky ole cigarette smoke that when they see a cigar they think the same. I enjoy the smell of a good cigar...heck I even prefer the smell of a crappy one to a cigarette but to each his own, cigar, cigarette, pipe, what have u.

You are more likely to die of fast food and alcohol poisoning before enjoying the flavor of a nice cigar. I'm just sayin. :usa:


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## ShortyStogie

Hey,

Just to make sure that I have things right in my mind... Isn't smoke from a burning cigarrette paper more harmful than the smoke from a premium cigar? I know that I'm asking a biased community, but from what I've studied, there are just about a 130 chemicals that are in the ciggy that are just not in the cigar.

Am I right?

-SS


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## Nurse_Maduro

ShortyStogie said:


> ...from what I've studied, there are just about a 130 chemicals that are in the ciggy that are just not in the cigar.
> 
> Am I right?


Nope, but you're on the right track.
Cigarettes have _599_ additives. My stogie has tobacco leaf and sunlight. Yeah, I totally get why everyone's in an uproar over cigars. 

For your reference: The List of Additives in Cigarettes - Additives in Cigarettes

:focus:


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## Jack Straw

I've heard that like 1/4 or so of what's inside most cigarettes (e.g. Marlboro, Camel) is just some sort of smokable, shredded cardboard or paper filler that is sprayed with chemicals. I can't even smoke them anymore without feeling dirty. Only exception is American Spirits, which don't really have that chemically aftertaste.


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## ejgarnut

JustOneMoreStick said:


> I was enjoying an after dinner smoke (CAO Black) in Catalina Island last December I was used to leaving it on a window sill when we would step into a shop or bar for a quick drink however when I came to Luau Larrys in Avalon I did the same thing. This time I even slid it under the unlit Christmas lights tacked to the window so that it wouldn't blow away (the hot end was a good 3 inches clear of the ledge no problem so I thought). As I stepped through the door a customer seated near the window who seemed "concerned" for my health and safety took it upon himself to loudly inform me and everyone around us that he saw what I did.
> 
> I told him thanks for keeping an eye on my cigar.
> 
> This set him off he began yelling about how I was going to set the building on fire and kill us all when the whole island caught fire. Not wanting any trouble I took great joy in moving my cigar away from the window and watch him watch me make trips out to finish my cigar. Each time I would come back he would complain more loudly, finally I asked the waitress/bartender if they had any problem with me and my cigar the answer was simply "no we are enjoying the show".
> 
> So I guess not everyone is totally antismoke in the Peoples republic of California.


LMAO Warren! Too funny.....

I know this is iff topic, but just wanna throw it out there. Ive seen alot of post here that look at cigarette smoking with disdain - no one in particular, just a general "feel" of it. Thats fine if you feel that way about it, but you should realize that when you do this, you are playing right into the anti-smoke nazis hand. If they were to get cigarettes demonized enough, then taxed into non-existance, which is their plan IMO, how long do you think cigars would be around? Think about it.

Its all about freedom and private rights.


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## RazzBarlow

ejgarnut said:


> LMAO Warren! Too funny.....
> 
> I know this is iff topic, but just wanna throw it out there. Ive seen alot of post here that look at cigarette smoking with disdain - no one in particular, just a general "feel" of it. Thats fine if you feel that way about it, but you should realize that when you do this, you are playing right into the anti-smoke nazis hand. If they were to get cigarettes demonized enough, then taxed into non-existance, which is their plan IMO, how long do you think cigars would be around? Think about it.
> 
> Its all about freedom and private rights.


Terry has it exactly right. I personally find the smell of cigarette smoke distasteful. But it's not a very big leap from cigarettes to cigars, pipes etc... in the mind of the pitchfork-carrying mob. So, if you think we should just let the cigarette smokers sink or swim on their own, think again. Think of them as the foot-soldiers and we're the generals. Yes, they're going to take most of the arrows, but we need to keep them around.

Marshall


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## ejgarnut

RazzBarlow said:


> Terry has it exactly right. I personally find the smell of cigarette smoke distasteful. But it's not a very big leap from cigarettes to cigars, pipes etc... in the mind of the pitchfork-carrying mob. So, if you think we should just let the cigarette smokers sink or swim on their own, think again. Think of them as the foot-soldiers and we're the generals. Yes, they're going to take most of the arrows, but we need to keep them around.
> 
> Marshall


Just a couple more things, then I'll shut up. One, I want to make clear I was not pointing fingers at anyone, or any post in particular.

Two, their strategy is divide and conquer. The more people that can be turned against cigarette smokers, the easier it is to follow through with their plan. This type of attack is very effective, just ask the shotgun owners in England who thought their shotguns were safe from confiscation. Dont let this happen here, either to our guns, nor to the tobacco industry as a whole.


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## TheLurch

Well, tonight I was at a B&M in a local mall, and a group of young(probably 11-12, I'm not sure) girls with a parent or something walks by the tobacco shop. One of the girls proceeds to say "tobacco, as in that stuff you smoke? Ewwww gross!!" from outside the shop, and another one goes "that smells so gross, I can't stand the way it smells!". The parent walks by, seeming to be pleased with her young friends, and I just turn around to all of them while I'm holding about 4 cigars, point to them, give a big thumbs up and the goofiest grin I could come up with. They scurried away disgusted at me pretty quickly. Hey, what could I do, I was in the midst of $11 and $15 Opus X, I didn't have a care in the world!!


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## Nurse_Maduro

TheLurch said:


> Well, tonight I was at a B&M in a local mall, and a group of young(probably 11-12, I'm not sure) girls with a parent or something walks by the tobacco shop. One of the girls proceeds to say "tobacco, as in that stuff you smoke? Ewwww gross!!" from outside the shop, and another one goes "that smells so gross, I can't stand the way it smells!". The parent walks by, seeming to be pleased with her young friends, and I just turn around to all of them while I'm holding about 4 cigars, point to them, give a big thumbs up and the goofiest grin I could come up with. They scurried away disgusted at me pretty quickly. Hey, what could I do, I was in the midst of $11 and $15 Opus X, I didn't have a care in the world!!


Nice! I miss the days of the mall tobacconist...I didn't realize there were any left.


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## Cigary

TheLurch said:


> Well, tonight I was at a B&M in a local mall, and a group of young(probably 11-12, I'm not sure) girls with a parent or something walks by the tobacco shop. One of the girls proceeds to say "tobacco, as in that stuff you smoke? Ewwww gross!!" from outside the shop, and another one goes "that smells so gross, I can't stand the way it smells!". The parent walks by, seeming to be pleased with her young friends, and I just turn around to all of them while I'm holding about 4 cigars, point to them, give a big thumbs up and the goofiest grin I could come up with. They scurried away disgusted at me pretty quickly. Hey, what could I do, I was in the midst of $11 and $15 Opus X, I didn't have a care in the world!!


Wish I had a dime for everytime this happened to me. Why is it that others are supposed to be allowed their negative opinion when they walk by so they can spout off their little diatribes while we are supposed to sit back and say nothing and have that "guilty" look on our face and act all humbled? BS,,,if others have the gonads to pipe up with their opinions then they will get it back in spades. I get tired of people expecting us to sit in the corner and look all dejected and try to hide our cigars while they get to spout all of their BS while walking by. I don't look for problems and I don't smoke my cigars in areas that prompt a face to face either,,,but I'm not going to sit back and whimper when faced with those who want to publicly try and humiliate me in a public venue.:boxing:


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## thebayratt

Nurse_Maduro said:


> Nice! I miss the days of the mall tobacconist...I didn't realize there were any left.


There is one in the Mobile, AL mall Tinderbox. Great folks who run it too.

I had the same thing with some upidity people looking through the doorway, while I was _patiently_ waiting for them to move so I could go in. Then they started saying "it smells horrible in there!", thats when I replied "then get your nose out of the doorway and go over to bath&body works and sniff over there!"


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## Cigary

thebayratt said:


> There is one in the Mobile, AL mall Tinderbox. Great folks who run it too.
> 
> I had the same thing with some upidity people looking through the doorway, while I was _patiently_ waiting for them to move so I could go in. Then they started saying "it smells horrible in there!", thats when I replied "then get your nose out of the doorway and go over to bath&body works and sniff over there!"


We seriously need to hang out one afternoon at one of these places where the "uppitys" hang out.:whoo:


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## thebayratt

Cigary said:


> We seriously need to hang out one afternoon at one of these places where the "uppitys" hang out.:whoo:


If only I could smoke at this B&M, I'd Ruin alot of "uppitys" days! :director:


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## Cigary

thebayratt said:


> If only I could smoke at this B&M, I'd Ruin alot of "uppitys" days! :director:


Next time I go thru there we will hook it up and we'll go there and spend a day smoking some real "dog rockets",,,ya with me on this? :horn:


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## Gigmaster

And she probably supports Abortion.......



orca99usa said:


> Great response. Judgmental people are always befuddled when you come back at them with humor, because their lives lack it.
> 
> This reminds me of a story I heard from a college classmate who was in Navy ROTC. He and a ROTC buddy were walking across campus in their dress whites when a peacenik approached them. She said that she couldn't understand how they could "kill all those innocent babies" (which was curious, because there was no war going on at the time). Without missing a beat the friend said "We never kill more than we can eat", and kept walking.


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## unsafegraphics

Gigmaster said:


> And she probably supports Abortion.......


Coming out WAAAY of left field there, eh?


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