# Your Cigars



## CustomsUSAgent (Feb 8, 2005)

Just a quick thank you to everyone here. My friends and I have been enjoying “your cigars” for many years now. Just wanted to clear up a few things as I recently gave up smoking cigars and retired from the service.

1. Every single cigar you think is real… well it’s real fake. We have been replacing your cigars for decades with triple capped Dominicans. Long ago we figured out that nabbing them and hassling you would be a one time score and cause us to do some work. By replacing them and you folks not knowing the difference, well we have enjoyed these over and over and over.

2. We know who you are. Yup every single one of you. Keep track of it. There are not that many places to get what you do from and it’s not like they hide their presence on the internet. Gave your names to the FBI and the DHS very first time we did the switcheroo on your boxes. Told em not to worry and gave them 20% each of the take. They have made sure that no one bothered you so long as you kept ordering. Those warranty seals are like $ 8.00 a gross from the original printer. We have from AA through next year in deep supply. The good news is that technically, none of you are in violation as … well enjoy those Dominicans.

3. Just sending some heartfelt thanks for the many great cigars we have enjoyed from you over the years. So long as you keep ordering, no one will bother you. The occasional “examples” we make are always of folks that stopped buying. 

So keep it up, we appreciate it.


----------



## fireman43 (Oct 15, 2006)

Long time no see!:tu Y'all get tired of giving each other BCS's and decided to pop in and say howdy, or are you just taking a break to let some of the swelling go down?!???:r


----------



## Kayak_Rat (Nov 28, 2005)

Wow. Talk about admission of guilt. Recent case law has been including internet posts, plus the fact you are a government official, seems grounds for a courtmarshall. Then if you are found guilty.....the worst part. You could run for President on the Democratic ticket.

So you might want to rethink your post....or face the consequences. :tu


----------



## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

:r:r:r


----------



## Mindflux (Dec 5, 2005)

I know this is a joke and all but:
Impersonating a government employee is a FELONY.

Hope ya don't get busted


----------



## newcigarz (Feb 11, 2007)

Did CS let down their guard tonight? First the iPhone sale and now this!:r


----------



## OtterAKL4987 (Jun 4, 2007)

This is probably the strangest thing I've seen on CS since I've been a member. I agree with the previous poster about impersonating a government official. Especially in these times of the War on Terror, a customs agent is an important position and I would hope those protecting our country from incoming threats have more serious things to worry about.:2 However, I realize this is a joke (At least I hope so:r)


----------



## SteveDMatt (Feb 23, 2007)

Are you the guy with the rubber gloves or the guy that held my shoulders while the guy with the rubber gloves did the cavity search?

Funny, I didn't remember there being a second person in the room when I disrobed.


----------



## ATLHARP (May 3, 2005)

Smokin' "those" cigars, eh? Are you snortin' mountains of blow too?:bl


ATL


----------



## Marlboro Cigars-cl (Feb 19, 2007)

:r Great post.
:tu


----------



## Trout (Oct 4, 2006)

Somewhere a village is missing its idiot.


----------



## BarneyBandMan (Mar 29, 2007)

Hey, that's pretty good. Do you remember the time Spanky got on Alfalfa's shoulders, wrapped up in a coat and tried to make Buckwheat and Porky think they were G-Men so they could get the firecrackers and Buckwheat and Porky got back at them by using a magnifying glass to aim the sun's rays at Alfalfa's back pocket where he was keeping them. That was awesome...


----------



## tzaddi (Feb 24, 2007)

“The artist is still a little like the old court jester. He's supposed to speak his vicious paradoxes with some sense in them, but he isn't part of whatever the fabric is that makes a nation.”

“Jesters do oft prove prophets”

“Just because you can laugh doesn't mean you can't tell the truth. Truth is often the jester.”

Hmmmmmm.


----------



## kvaughan (Jul 11, 2006)

Anyone know what cigars he's talking about? Habanos are illegal in the US still right?


----------



## Lumpold (Apr 28, 2005)

What are US customs doing with my smokes? Hands off, you imperialistic bastages, I'm British!


----------



## n3uka (Nov 13, 2006)

Ha Ha, my plan worked.

I have been having real dog rockets shipped to me (actual dog poo sticks :BS)
and you have been replacing with tasty dominicans.

Thanks for all you do :u and enjoy the turds :r


----------



## donp (Mar 5, 2006)

CustomsUSAgent said:


> Just a quick thank you to everyone here. My friends and I have been enjoying "your cigars" for many years now. Just wanted to clear up a few things as I recently gave up smoking cigars and retired from the service.
> 
> 1. Every single cigar you think is real&#8230; well it's real fake. We have been replacing your cigars for decades with triple capped Dominicans. Long ago we figured out that nabbing them and hassling you would be a one time score and cause us to do some work. By replacing them and you folks not knowing the difference, well we have enjoyed these over and over and over.
> 
> ...


All I gotta say in response is....BITE ME! :ss


----------



## floydp (Jun 6, 2004)

Damn it skeeter ya sneaky bastage!


----------



## olateone (Jan 1, 2000)

:BS


----------



## icehog3 (Feb 20, 2005)

BarneyBandMan said:


> Hey, that's pretty good. Do you remember the time Spanky got on Alfalfa's shoulders, wrapped up in a coat and tried to make Buckwheat and Porky think they were G-Men so they could get the firecrackers and Buckwheat and Porky got back at them by using a magnifying glass to aim the sun's rays at Alfalfa's back pocket where he was keeping them. That was awesome...


Now THAT was funny!!


----------



## Ivory Tower (Nov 18, 2005)

*QUALIFICATIONS:* Must be a US citizen. Applicants must fall between 21 and 35 years of age. Must possess a valid state driver's license. Must pass an extensive background investigation. Applicant must possess a bachelor's degree from an accredited college or university or possess one year of general experience and two years of specialized experience. Candidates must be willing to travel and work overtime. Must pass medical examination.

:tpd:


----------



## SmokeyJoe (Oct 3, 2006)

BarneyBandMan said:


> Hey, that's pretty good. Do you remember the time Spanky got on Alfalfa's shoulders, wrapped up in a coat and tried to make Buckwheat and Porky think they were G-Men so they could get the firecrackers and Buckwheat and Porky got back at them by using a magnifying glass to aim the sun's rays at Alfalfa's back pocket where he was keeping them. That was awesome...


:r :r :r Good call, Barney! Somehow I knew this was about back pockets... :ss


----------



## icehog3 (Feb 20, 2005)

CustomsUSAgent said:


> 1. Every single cigar you think is real&#8230; well it's real fake. We have been replacing your cigars for decades with triple capped Dominicans.


Can I get a few of mine back?


----------



## rottenzombie (Jun 11, 2007)

icehog3 said:


> Can I get a few of mine back?


Can I get a few of his cigars back too


----------



## Ccsmoker (May 19, 2006)

:fu


----------



## Bear (Sep 22, 2007)

:r Great post!


----------



## Guitarman-S.T- (Jun 14, 2006)

Mindflux said:


> I know this is a joke and all but:
> Impersonating a government employee is a FELONY.
> 
> Hope ya don't get busted


haha And thats the end of him =]


----------



## floydp (Jun 6, 2004)

CustomsUSAgent said:


> Just a quick thank you to everyone here. My friends and I have been enjoying "your cigars" for many years now. Just wanted to clear up a few things as I recently gave up smoking cigars and retired from the service.
> 
> 1. Every single cigar you think is real&#8230; well it's real fake. We have been replacing your cigars for decades with triple capped Dominicans. Long ago we figured out that nabbing them and hassling you would be a one time score and cause us to do some work. By replacing them and you folks not knowing the difference, well we have enjoyed these over and over and over.
> 
> ...


Guess you'll be smoking my cigars tonight eh Skeeter? Least ya can do is bring the hooch.


----------



## beamish (Jan 10, 2007)

When are you heading back to your home planet??:BS:BS


----------



## Lanthor (Jun 16, 2007)

Curious who you are voting for this year Sir Agent?


----------



## bobarian (Oct 1, 2007)

Now that's funny! 
"Been smoking your cigars since 1961" Embargo started Feb 1962:dr


----------



## icehog3 (Feb 20, 2005)

> Last Activity: 03-24-2008 05:33 PM


He is too busy sniffing the Fruit of the Looms he heisted out of our luggage to log on.


----------



## Lanthor (Jun 16, 2007)

Actually embargo started in October 1960 by Eisenhower, Kennedy on 2/62 esculated it to include travel and froze assets.

Still want to know if its John, Hillary, or Barack.


----------



## MeNimbus (Dec 18, 2006)

BarneyBandMan said:


> Hey, that's pretty good. Do you remember the time Spanky got on Alfalfa's shoulders, wrapped up in a coat and tried to make Buckwheat and Porky think they were G-Men so they could get the firecrackers and Buckwheat and Porky got back at them by using a magnifying glass to aim the sun's rays at Alfalfa's back pocket where he was keeping them. That was awesome...


Surprisingly I actually do remember that episode. One of my favorite t.v. shows while I was growing up.


----------



## Costa (Jan 26, 2008)

Just reading this now, was not a member when it was first posted. 

Was this a contributing member of the CS community or some nut-bag?


----------



## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

Costa said:


> Just reading this now, was not a member when it was first posted.
> 
> Was this a contributing member of the CS community or some nut-bag?


You are such a kidder!!!
Of course you didn't mean that.
You crack me up!!!
Scroll down................

Last Activity: 03-24-2008 06:33 PM


----------



## Costa (Jan 26, 2008)

I am wicked confused.........


----------



## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

Costa said:


> I am wicked confused.........


Well, his last time on CS was not very long ago.
Just days to be exact.


----------



## 4WheelVFR (Jun 27, 2006)

Blueface said:


> Well, his last time on CS was not very long ago.
> Just days to be exact.


He watches and he waits....All your boxes are belong to him.:ss


----------



## galaga (Sep 18, 2003)

Costa said:


> Just reading this now, was not a member when it was first posted.
> 
> Was this a contributing member of the CS community or some nut-bag?


Uh, yes. OK, how about

_... a contributing member of the CS community and a ... nut-bag?_


----------



## jack7382 (Mar 11, 2008)

In response to Cuba's alignment with the Soviet Union during the Cold War, President John F. Kennedy extended Eisenhower's measures by Executive Order, first widening the scope of the trade restrictions on February 7 (announced on February 3 and again on March 23, 1962). According to former aide Pierre Salinger, Kennedy asked him to purchase a thousand Cuban cigars for Kennedy's future use immediately before the extended embargo was to come into effect. Salinger succeeded, returning in the morning with 1,200 Petit H. Upmann cigars, Kennedy's favorite cigar size and brand.[3] Following the Cuban Missile Crisis, Kennedy imposed travel restrictions on February 8, 1963, and the Cuban Assets Control Regulations


----------



## E. Bunney (May 10, 2006)

I can assure you that there are some crazy people on this board, and history buffs too. :tu


----------



## lenguamor (Nov 23, 2006)

E. Bunney said:


> I can assure you that there are some crazy people on this board, and history buffs too. :tu


Echo and the Bunnymen rock.


----------



## MrStogie (Oct 15, 2007)

how thoughtful....


----------



## CoopnGA (Mar 12, 2008)

Ccsmoker said:


> :fu


Says it all


----------

