# Innocent American attacked by the HMS Siglub



## ouirknotamuzd (Jan 29, 2011)

first off..I don't know what I did to piss off the Brits; I've always considered myself an Anglophile...I have the entire dvd collections of Monty Python, The Black Adder and Yes,Minister and Yes,Prime Minister.....I've heard of William Shakespeare and Oscar Wilde....I know what a "Page 3 girl" is and I like Fish and Chips(no malt vinegar,though..yuck!)
So,when I learned of an impending attack on my secret lair(which is not used for terrorist activities at all...just ask my cleaning lady..it's mostly full of arts and crafts supplies for when I invite the elderly and orphans over for a day of basket weaving and throw rug making,which are then donated to charity to help feed hungry people somewhere),I was concerned. Being an avid fan of the History and Military channels and basically an aficionado of destruction in all of it's forms,I knew what the British Royal Navy was capable of.
What I wasn't aware of was that the Commander of the H.M.S. Blow-the-shit-out-of-the-Herfacave, a Rear Admiral Siglub, is a full-blown maniac who must really hate mice and guys who practice Acupuncture. I knew that battleships had nuclear capabilities,but I had no idea he was authorized to use them on innocent civilians who give baskets and throw rugs made by old people and orphans to charity...



Rear Admiral Siglub....you,Sir, are a madman, and I plan to make a formal protest to the Royal Navy High Command and send a strongly-worded e-mail to Queen What's-her-name and recommend that you be removed from your command for excessive force on innocent civilians. I also plan to sue for the damages incurred to my secret arts and crafts center for old geezers and orphans.

Cheers,Reese:beerchug:....and thank you for this magnificent bomb......Hail, Brittania!


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

An excellent hit on the most definitely innocent, orphan loving, senior assisting, saint of a man named Pete.


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## ouirknotamuzd (Jan 29, 2011)

David_ESM said:


> An excellent hit on the most definitely innocent, orphan loving, senior assisting, saint of a man named Pete.


see?..I have a character witness..how can you not believe a man who spends his spare time trying to hump hand dryers?


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## max gas (Apr 11, 2011)

Wow. Nice hit. Great booze and awesome sticks! Well done sir!

Enjoy those Pete.


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## szyzk (Nov 27, 2010)

Pete, don't play innocent.

Very, very nice hit! Those Englishers can be ruthless.

Is it wrong that I prefer Fawlty Towers to the Flying Circus?


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## smelvis (Sep 7, 2009)

Nice Pete, Ross is a good guy to get mad LOL WTG Ross


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## Oldmso54 (Jul 31, 2010)

David_ESM said:


> An excellent hit on the most definitely innocent, orphan loving, senior assisting, saint of a man named Pete.


Wait a minute - which Pete is THAT!!

That was one hell of hit though Rear Admiral


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## Marlboro Cigars-cl (Feb 19, 2007)

Nothing like a selection from the UK.
Devastating hit.
:tu


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## ouirknotamuzd (Jan 29, 2011)

szyzk said:


> Pete, don't play innocent.
> 
> Very, very nice hit! Those Englishers can be ruthless.
> 
> Is it wrong that I prefer Fawlty Towers to the Flying Circus?


not at all,Bub...I have the entire set of those,too

remember the episode when that moose head was on the top of the reception desk,and Manuel was cleaning underneath practicing his English..and the Colonel thought the moose was talking?

total freakin' geniusound:ound:ound:ound:


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

Wow...he is hitting the holy shit out of ZK...hmmm, someone is asking for us to "put a boot in his ass..that's the American way!" Enjoy those Pete!!


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## Big Bull (Mar 22, 2011)

ouirknotamuzd said:


> "Page 3 girl"


what the hell is that??:dunno:


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

Big Bull said:


> what the hell is that??:dunno:


 *Page Three* (or *Page 3*) is a tabloid newspaper feature consisting of a topless photograph of a female glamour model, usually printed on the paper's third page. Women who model regularly for the feature are known as *Page Three girls.*


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## ouirknotamuzd (Jan 29, 2011)

primetime76 said:


> Wow...he is hitting the holy shit out of ZK...hmmm, someone is asking for us to "put a boot in his ass..that's the American way!" Enjoy those Pete!!


luckily,I have a plan,Cap'n....we get a shitload of White Owl New Yorkers...a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon and the entire dvd collection of "Diff'rent Strokes" and ship it to his british ass with a note that reads "THIS IS HOW WE DO IT IN THE COLONIES,BOY-O!!!!!"

that'll teach him to mess with the USA:usa::usa2:


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

ouirknotamuzd said:


> luckily,I have a plan,Cap'n....we get a shitload of White Owl New Yorkers...a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon and the entire dvd collection of "Diff'rent Strokes" and ship it to his british ass with a note that reads "THIS IS HOW WE DO IT IN THE COLONIES,BOY-O!!!!!"
> 
> that'll teach him to mess with the USA:usa::usa2:


LOL. I'm sure watch a marathon of Different Strokes will instill tons of American enginuity on that poor bit. You might want ot include a season or two of ALF while your at it :biglaugh:

Awesome hit by the way. Needless to say those are some high quality cigars for a well deserving brother.


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

I was going to say "Who's the Boss?" but I am not sure that we want those loony brits thinking that we are Manny's like Danza was in that show! LOL


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## the_brain (May 1, 2011)

socalocmatt said:


> LOL. I'm sure watch a marathon of Different Strokes will instill tons of American enginuity on that poor bit. You might want ot include a season or two of ALF while your at it :biglaugh:
> 
> Awesome hit by the way. Needless to say those are some high quality cigars for a well deserving brother.


Or A-Team....


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

Maybe even send a copy of hellraiser...show him Pete in action.


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## ouirknotamuzd (Jan 29, 2011)

socalocmatt said:


> LOL. I'm sure watch a marathon of Different Strokes will instill tons of American enginuity on that poor bit. You might want ot include a season or two of ALF while your at it :biglaugh:
> 
> Awesome hit by the way. Needless to say those are some high quality cigars for a well deserving brother.


what the Hell was wrong with Alf?....that freakin' puppet made more money per episode than I do in an entire year....if that's not the American Dream,then I dunno what the hell is.

what about The Love Boat?...I think our friend from across the pond would appreciate a whole slew of classic american tv shows with classic american theme songs.


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## ouirknotamuzd (Jan 29, 2011)

the_brain said:


> or a-team....


"shut up,fool!!!!"


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

ouirknotamuzd said:


> what the Hell was wrong with Alf?....that freakin' puppet made more money per episode than I do in an entire year....if that's not the American Dream,then I dunno what the hell is.
> 
> what about The Love Boat?...I think our friend from across the pond would appreciate a whole slew of classic american tv shows with classic american theme songs.


Oh, nothing wrong with ALF. I loved that show. I think I have a season or two on DVD here. I think you're on to a great idea there with the American TV bomb. Toss in a TV dinner too.


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## Danfish98 (Jun 5, 2011)

I'd say a marathon of late 80s/early 90s sitcoms. What's better than sitting down to a long string of Saved by the Bell, Full House, Family Matters, and Step by Step? I love me some Patrick Duffy!


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

Daaaaaang. That's one heck of a hit! Nicely done, sir!!!


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

Danfish98 said:


> I'd say a marathon of late 80s/early 90s sitcoms. What's better than sitting down to a long string of Saved by the Bell, Full House, Family Matters, and Step by Step? *I love me some Patrick Duffy*!


Is this the motto in the Squiddo's tank?


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## sligub (Apr 6, 2011)

ouirknotamuzd said:


> first off..I don't know what I did to piss off the Brits; I've always considered myself an Anglophile...I have the entire dvd collections of Monty Python, The Black Adder and Yes,Minister and Yes,Prime Minister.....I've heard of William Shakespeare and Oscar Wilde....I know what a "Page 3 girl" is and I like Fish and Chips(no malt vinegar,though..yuck!)
> So,when I learned of an impending attack on my secret lair(which is not used for terrorist activities at all...just ask my cleaning lady..it's mostly full of arts and crafts supplies for when I invite the elderly and orphans over for a day of basket weaving and throw rug making,which are then donated to charity to help feed hungry people somewhere),I was concerned. Being an avid fan of the History and Military channels and basically an aficionado of destruction in all of it's forms,I knew what the British Royal Navy was capable of.
> What I wasn't aware of was that the Commander of the H.M.S. Blow-the-shit-out-of-the-Herfacave, a Rear Admiral Siglub, is a full-blown maniac who must really hate mice and guys who practice Acupuncture. I knew that battleships had nuclear capabilities,but I had no idea he was authorized to use them on innocent civilians who give baskets and throw rugs made by old people and orphans to charity...
> 
> ...


Posh English navel accent starts
Oh my boy, I'm so sorry there seems to have been a slight intelligence failing. We had no idea that you were our kind of terrorist. Please accept my sincere apology on behalf of Her Royal Magisty Queen Elizibeth II. We would never have bombed a decent chap who liked monty python and ate fish and chips.
ENDs
Glad to see everything got to you.


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## k-morelli (Jun 22, 2011)

what a hit! really great selection of cigars. Enjoy!


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## At Game7 (Sep 24, 2011)

I've seen some serious, SERIOUS freeging bombs around this forum recently and that ranks right up there with them, sheesh.......


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## sweater88 (Jul 31, 2011)

You guys know full well American values are best portrayed by "Growing Pains"

Plus, Alan Thicke is Canadian, so there is a commonwealth connection!


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## ouirknotamuzd (Jan 29, 2011)

socalocmatt said:


> Oh, nothing wrong with ALF. I loved that show. I think I have a season or two on DVD here. I think you're on to a great idea there with the American TV bomb. Toss in a TV dinner too.


Dude,it'd be goin' to Englland..I'm no physicist,but I think it'd thaw out by the time it got there.


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## ouirknotamuzd (Jan 29, 2011)

primetime76 said:


> Is this the motto in the Squiddo's tank?


well..Patrick Duffy was the Man from Atlantis,Cap'n....for all we know,they might have a life-sized poster of him in their locker room.


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## szyzk (Nov 27, 2010)

ouirknotamuzd said:


> not at all,Bub...I have the entire set of those,too
> 
> remember the episode when that moose head was on the top of the reception desk,and Manuel was cleaning underneath practicing his English..and the Colonel thought the moose was talking?
> 
> total freakin' geniusound:ound:ound:ound:


"No, you hit him on the head, you naughty moose!"

That episode was so tasteless with all the references to the war. "Don't mention the war!" :rotfl:


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## Danfish98 (Jun 5, 2011)

ouirknotamuzd said:


> well..Patrick Duffy was the Man from Atlantis,Cap'n....for all we know,they might have a life-sized poster of him in their locker room.


Ask and you shall receive Pete.


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## ouirknotamuzd (Jan 29, 2011)

Danfish98 said:


> Ask and you shall receive Pete.


"thank you for attending this evening's performance of the Broadway version of "Purple Rain".....unfortunately,Prince is unavailable to perform tonight,so this evening's portrayal of The Kid will be performed by Patrick Duffy":biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh:


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## fiddlegrin (Feb 8, 2009)

ouirknotamuzd said:


> .......
> 
> remember the episode when that moose head was on the top of the reception desk,and Manuel was cleaning underneath practicing his English..and the Colonel thought the moose was talking?
> 
> total freakin' geniusound:ound:ound:ound:


+ 1

Don't forget "The Young Ones", "Yes Minister", "Are you Being Served", "Raffles", "Only Fools and Horses", "The Darling Buds of May" and "Jeeves and Wooster"! :lol:

Congratulations on the great Bomb!

:rockon:


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