# Spanky & Our Gang Strikes At Squid!



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

So late this afternoon I hear a knock at the front door. I go to answer it and don't see anybody... As I'm about to close the door I hear a tiny voice squeeling "Spanky-Gram!" down by my knees. I look down and there's this teeny tiny guy dressed in a red doorman's type uniform; impressive jacket with shoulder braid and lots of shiny brass buttons. (The coat was too large as it dragged on the ground) I smirk and ask him to speak up a bit so I can hear him. The little guy repeats "Spanky-Gram! I gots a Spanky-Gram for da Squid! Are youse da guy?" I admit to being called Squid and he reaches into his pockets and pulls out FOUR tiny boxes, each about the size of a pack of playing cards. He stacks them neatly on the ground at my feet and then removes his hat. I'm thinking "now what?" as I lean against the doorjam grinning. From out of his hat he pulls an impossibly large playing card; it's a two of clubs... He slaps it against my knee and yells "Youse just been demamolishated by Smoke And Aces!" and then screws the hat back onto his tiny head and dashes off down the street...

I look down at the huge playing card, and then at the tiny pile of packages and suddenly I realize "Golly! Spanky & Our Gang just hit me with their best shot and I can't stop giggling about it!" So I reach down and gather up the four packages and take them and the huge playing card to my office. I line up the four packages on my desk all aligned so I can yank the pull-tabs all at the same time. (I know, doesn't seem possible, but remember I have eight tentacles) I pull hard on all four tabs simultaneously expecting at least a flash-burn and singed eyebrows. What I got instead was a "POP" like a ladyfinger going off, accompanied by a tiny three inch tall mushroom cloud. <G> After blowing the smoke away with a little puff of breath, I looked at what they sent to destroy me... <G>

HAW! Joking aside, the four packages from Smoke & Aces contained a total of twenty very very nice cigars. Thanks a bunch guys, Squid really appreciates it!

There were some demands included which naturally I'll ignore completely considering the source... I'll have pictures in this thread tomorrow, as I forgot the camera up in college station and will have to drive out there tomorrow to get it.


----------



## g8trbone (Apr 26, 2007)

So the Squidster will be the first person not to cave into the demands... interesting... I'm curious to see what their response will be!


----------



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

g8trbone said:


> So the Squidster will be the first person not to cave into the demands... interesting... I'm curious to see what their response will be!


Doesn't matter, as Squid already has a checkmate figured out for anything they plan. I won't tell any of these moves of course, but Spanky et al will NOT like them... <G> I came up with the idea to defeat their intentions a few weeks ago, and have just kept my cards close since then... <G>


----------



## Marlboro Cigars-cl (Feb 19, 2007)

Nice team effort!!


----------



## g8trbone (Apr 26, 2007)

architeuthis said:


> Doesn't matter, as Squid already has a checkmate figured out for anything they plan. I won't tell any of these moves of course, but Spanky et al will NOT like them... <G> I came up with the idea to defeat their intentions a few weeks ago, and have just kept my cards close since then... <G>


You have whet my appetite Sir Squid! I am very curious now!!!


----------



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

g8trbone said:


> You have whet my appetite Sir Squid! I am very curious now!!!


When we have to deal with packs of wild dingoes running about, do we just run away? Or do we sit and plan and devise strategies to defeat the skulking little ankle-biters? There are no weapons more dangerous than a coldly calculating Squid-Brain... <G>


----------



## Maduro PiPs (Jul 5, 2007)

:helloooo:


----------



## mrgatorman (Mar 23, 2007)

Your like 17 feet tall...everyone an ankle biter to you!


----------



## Labman (May 27, 2007)

Awesome story, Squid! I was actually laughing sitting up in my office...I don't know what my boss must be thinking.


----------



## Webmeister (Jun 12, 2007)

These are the stories of the Days Of Our Lives... Can't wait to see what happens next!


----------



## GoinFerSmoke (Jan 1, 2007)

Webmeister said:


> These are the stories of the Days Of Our Lives... Can't wait to see what happens next!


You know what they say the bigger they are the harder they fall...


----------



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

Labman said:


> Awesome story, Squid! I was actually laughing sitting up in my office...I don't know what my boss must be thinking.


Thanks. I just hope it enraged the little fella's... <G>


----------



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

mrgatorman said:


> Your like 17 feet tall...everyone an ankle biter to you!


Especially those who crawl on their bellies... <G>


----------



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

Webmeister said:


> These are the stories of the Days Of Our Lives... Can't wait to see what happens next!


Make some popcorn, fire up a good cigar and keep reading. It's gonna start getting EVIL around here...


----------



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

GoinFerSmoke said:


> You know what they say the bigger they are the harder they fall...


I know what happens to little children who want to hang with the big boys... They always wind up hurt and crying home to mommy... <G>


----------



## ilovecl-cl (Apr 30, 2007)

Just ignore them they will go away!!!


----------



## GoinFerSmoke (Jan 1, 2007)

architeuthis said:


> I know what happens to little children who want to hang with the big boys... They always wind up hurt and crying home to mommy... <G>


So then why do you persist in trying to hang...?


----------



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

John51277 said:


> Just ignore them they will go away!!!


When it's so easy to verbally tromp them into the dust? <G>


----------



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

GoinFerSmoke said:


> So then why do you persist in trying to hang...?


Jeez Jimbo... Next you'll start saying "I know you are but what am I?" like a little girl... HAH!


----------



## alanf (Jan 12, 2007)

The squid doesn't seem all that impressed with S&A. I sense a war coming and it's not going to be pretty.


----------



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

alanf said:


> The squid doesn't seem all that impressed with S&A. I sense a war coming and it's not going to be pretty.


Yep, you'll be able to watch Spanky & Our Gang run away with their collective tails between their legs pretty soon... And their leader Jimbo will definitely be held up as an example of "Smack-Talk Gone Horribly Wrong" for many years to come.


----------



## Maduro PiPs (Jul 5, 2007)

you mean their leader will look like this SQUID???? HAHAHAHHAHAHAH


----------



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

Maduro PiPs said:


> you mean their leader will look like this SQUID???? HAHAHAHHAHAHAH


HAW! That'll be Jimbo! <G> And to beat mrgatorman to the punch, "I don't care who you are; that's good comedy."


----------



## mrgatorman (Mar 23, 2007)

lol...no hablo englas..


----------



## Lok17 (Jul 31, 2007)

Squid talks a lot of smack for someone that told Pips not to talk smack with me .... can't wait to see the pics and the return fire. I have a feeling squidy is gonna escalate this to a 1 on 4 war...ohhh the carnage :brick:


----------



## mrgatorman (Mar 23, 2007)

Well I imagine that ths Smoke and Aces boys ar ready to rumble. Cant smack them...their ruthless. So I hear.


----------



## Daniel D (Jun 22, 2007)

Smoke & Aces who? LOL


----------



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

mrgatorman said:


> lol...no hablo englas..


Sounds like Bill just took a step backwards and raised his hands in *ABJECT SURRENDER!!!* HAH! A "Flatlander" just like the puny post-whore Jumpin' Johnnie... <G>


----------



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

Lok17 said:


> Squid talks a lot of smack for someone that told Pips not to talk smack with me .... can't wait to see the pics and the return fire. I have a feeling squidy is gonna escalate this to a 1 on 4 war...ohhh the carnage :brick:


Dude, I never told the LK not to Smack-Talk you... What Squid said was that the time for talk was OVER and he should wait your little attempt at a bomb. <G> Ya did okay and actually hit him, so you should be satisfied with that. I shall pity you when he returns fire though... <G>


----------



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

mrgatorman said:


> Well I imagine that ths Smoke and Aces boys ar ready to rumble. Cant smack them...their ruthless. So I hear.


Don't worry reptile-boy... Squid can handle Spanky & Our Gang... <G> They will be SHOCKED SPEECHLESS if they send their midget after me again. HAH!


----------



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

Daniel D said:


> Smoke & Aces who? LOL


Excellent piece of Smack-Talk! <G> Squid congratulates you!


----------



## mrgatorman (Mar 23, 2007)

One thing sir I can assure you...Surrender is not in my vocab. IF I was a part of a group that you were requiring to surrender, rest assured, i go down with the ship.


----------



## mrgatorman (Mar 23, 2007)

If you hear anything....hear that.


----------



## mrgatorman (Mar 23, 2007)

Smack away sir...fried calamari is my favorite.


----------



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

mrgatorman said:


> One thing sir I can assure you...Surrender is not in my vocab. IF I was a part of a group that you were requiring to surrender, rest assured, i go down with the ship.


Okay, okay... Don't go all Barney Fife on us now; calm down... I can see your eyes bulging out and the veins in yer forhead starting to pulse... <G> HAH!!!


----------



## mrgatorman (Mar 23, 2007)

architeuthis said:


> Okay, okay... Don't go all Barney Fife on us now; calm down... I can see your eyes bulging out and the veins in yer forhead starting to pulse... <G> HAH!!!


Hoooooooo Hoooooooooo. Bring it on babe. Barney Fife...These fingers are certified leathal weapons.


----------



## mrgatorman (Mar 23, 2007)

You kill me


----------



## mrgatorman (Mar 23, 2007)

Hey squiddy...look like anyone you know???


This is what happened to the last slimeboy that thought they could take down the mighty Gator...And If you look real closely, you may fond some buckeye nuts...HAW!!!


----------



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

mrgatorman said:


> Hoooooooo Hoooooooooo. Bring it on babe. Barney Fife...These fingers are certified leathal weapons.


Certified? HAW! Maybe when bangin' on a keyboard... <G> Or maybe when playing solitaire... GATORMAN JUST CAN'T HANG!!! HAH!


----------



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

mrgatorman said:


> Hey squiddy...look like anyone you know???
> 
> This is what happened to the last slimeboy that thought they could take down the mighty Gator...And If you look real closely, you may fond some buckeye nuts...HAW!!!


Pretty funny... <G> But truth be told, yer starting to sound a little bit like Jimbo. Ya know, WORRIED! HAH!


----------



## Daniel D (Jun 22, 2007)

Awww fish vs. lizard, how cute!


----------



## Lok17 (Jul 31, 2007)

This could be the title fight we have all been waiting for...


----------



## mrgatorman (Mar 23, 2007)

architeuthis said:


> Pretty funny... <G> But truth be told, yer starting to sound a little bit like Jimbo. Ya know, WORRIED! HAH!


Bottom line bubba...when you bring it...bring your A game. I dont want any excuses when you go down...A Game.


----------



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

Lok17 said:


> This could be the title fight we have all been waiting for...


Naw... Yer gonna have to wait AT LEAST a year for that one... Once Smack-Talk takes over on CigarLive (and we get some of the thick skulls to accept the rules) we'll end up doing some sort of elimination that will finally end in two small teams (not like the minor-league Spanky & Our Gang of course), but REAL individuals teamed up for true battle!!! I'd say probably arounf 2008 July 4th, or maybe as late as Christmas next year, you'll see some REAL action. <G>


----------



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

mrgatorman said:


> Bottom line bubba...when you bring it...bring your A game. I dont want any excuses when you go down...A Game.


Hola, little Billy! Squid asks you to PLEASE not sacrifice yourself needlessly upon the altar of Smack-Talk! You're good enough to clean up a whole bunch of the 2nd raters, so why not enjoy success at that level for a while before taking on the Big Boys? <G>


----------



## g8trbone (Apr 26, 2007)

Holy cow... this is starting to get real ugly!!! I'm going to board up the house now!


----------



## Gatormoye (May 23, 2007)

Hey smoke and aces, be sure to send Sqiddy those girly flavored cigars. He likes them. I think Smoke and Aces is going to kill the Sqid.


----------



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

g8trbone said:


> Holy cow... this is starting to get real ugly!!! I'm going to board up the house now!


That'll do, pig... That'll do... <G>


----------



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

Gatormoye said:


> Hey smoke and aces, be sure to send Sqiddy those girly flavored cigars. He likes them. I think Smoke and Aces is going to kill the Sqid.


Spelling!!! Grammar!!! Oh my!!! <G> Don't make me hurt you, lowly retailer... HAH!!!

And get yer pinky finger OFF yer chin!!!


----------



## mrgatorman (Mar 23, 2007)

Funny how blatently obvious Squiddy smack talk is...I say TALK. you talk the talk Mr Appetizer, can you walk the walk???

Ahem...Yet to be seen


----------



## Gatormoye (May 23, 2007)

Don't worry about Squiddly Diddly, he is all talk. He couldn't hurt a blade of grass much less a Gator. (Hey Sqidd don't get upset your girly smoke are on the way.)


----------



## GoinFerSmoke (Jan 1, 2007)

architeuthis said:


> Naw... Yer gonna have to wait AT LEAST a year for that one... Once Smack-Talk takes over on CigarLive (and we get some of the thick skulls to accept the rules) we'll end up doing some sort of elimination that will finally end in two small teams (not like the minor-league Spanky & Our Gang of course), but REAL individuals teamed up for true battle!!! I'd say probably arounf 2008 July 4th, or maybe as late as Christmas next year, you'll see some REAL action. <G>


As often as you refer to Smoke & Aces... it really IS starting to sound like bitter jealousy spouting from your beak. :brick:

Are you upset you weren't invited to play with the big boys?

Is widdle sqwiddy, a widdle mad because he has no fwiends to pway wif....

Dos squiddley diddley want to be a part of the Smoke & Aces crew? I am sure the Church girls army will take you...


----------



## Gatormoye (May 23, 2007)

Ooops, sorry, Squiddley Diddley. (forgot the e)


----------



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

Finally got the camera back... First here's a picture of the four little boxes...

And here's a picture of the cigars...

And here's three pictures of the enclosed demand notes. Needless to say, Squid is ignoring them completely, as I can easily deflect these children from their sordid little misguided goals... <G>


----------



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

GoinFerSmoke said:


> As often as you refer to Smoke & Aces... it really IS starting to sound like bitter jealousy spouting from your beak. :brick:
> 
> Are you upset you weren't invited to play with the big boys?
> 
> ...


Jimbo, you seriously crack me up... <G> So juvenile... So Saturday-morning-cartoonish... I mention Spanky & Our Gang occasionally in an effort to put y'all in your place as a known cowardly pack of raving ankle-biting doggies... And so the general public need not show any fear of such varmin...


----------



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

Gatormoye said:


> Don't worry about Squiddly Diddly, he is all talk. He couldn't hurt a blade of grass much less a Gator. (Hey Sqidd don't get upset your girly smoke are on the way.)


I think between you and Bill I need a translator from "Florida Casual Speech" to standard American English... <G> So you went around after the RTDA opening breakfast and collected all those thrown-away packs of Happy Hour flavored sticks? <G Again>

But seriously, I think we'd all like to see a picture of your pipe display if one hasn't already been posted. Especially as you made such a mad dash straight to the pipe vendors... HAH!


----------



## GoinFerSmoke (Jan 1, 2007)

I will now cease to entertain you variety of ocean speak as mere crack talk. You must lay off it dear brother, it does not make you any more of what you wish to be but lesser in the eyes of others! You who thumps his chest to appear more ferocious that you really are... and at your age you must really watch your heart!


----------



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

GoinFerSmoke said:


> I will now cease to entertain you variety of ocean speak as mere crack talk. You must lay off it dear brother, it does not make you any more of what you wish to be but lesser in the eyes of others! You who thumps his chest to appear more ferocious that you really are... and at your age you must really watch your heart!


What was that? "Tiny_Doggie_With_Bulging_Eyes_Which_Shakes_All_The_Time" speaks with forked tongue... Study hard and some day you may be elected to the rank of a CigarLive Smack-Talker! It may take years though... HAH!!!

And mentioning my age and equating that with weakness? Wanna arm wrestle? <G>


----------



## Gatormoye (May 23, 2007)

your not kidding about the pipes, I just received the bill from that one vender. Why didn't you stop me. Now I'm too broke to send you all those great smokes. I see you survived the parties .


----------



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

Gatormoye said:


> your not kidding about the pipes, I just received the bill from that one vender. Why didn't you stop me. Now I'm too broke to send you all those great smokes. I see you survived the parties .


I heard that the one was under ten thousand... Don't know about the other one though. But when you're buying money's no object! <G> And yep, I did survive, though barely...


----------



## Gatormoye (May 23, 2007)

I thought I saw a tall guy with a straw hat, just dancing the night away. Was that you?


----------



## Architeuthis (Mar 31, 2007)

Gatormoye said:


> I thought I saw a tall guy with a straw hat, just dancing the night away. Was that you?


Of course not... Squid was home in bed by 11PM. It was a school night! <G>


----------

