# the mouse tries to Bore me to Death...



## ouirknotamuzd (Jan 29, 2011)

as much as I hate that little freakin' volleyball-headed mouse and as often as I've dreamed of standing over his lifeless body after I've finally destroyed him with the Mother of all Herfabombs, I have to give him his props....when it comes to pissing me off and making my life a living Hell, nobody has the mouse's boundlessly sadistic creativity and determination to push the envelope and go where no mouse has gone before, like he did with his latest Torture-by-Tedium bomb, which landed at the same time as my power struggle with the rest of the LOB had begun(coincidence?...probly not....)

So, I carefully open the box and naturally, his god-forsaken bomb note is the first thing I see


















I hate that little freakin' mouse.....apparently lockboxes are passe' now, so he send a bomb in this










just to give you all a sense of scope....this grey bitch filled a medium-sized Priority flat rate box and was the size of watermelon

Pinhead Jr.: "Seedless or seeded, Pops?"

as stated in the bomb note, the contents of the bomb were wrapped in 4 rolls of duct tape and I had to remove the tape by hand, because cutting the tape might damage the contents..

Pinhead Jr.: "Dude, I know how much you hate to admit it, but he really is a genius..it's like he was put on this Earth to drive you nuts."

yeah, well...genius or not....the mouse miscalculated yet again in his attempts to push me over the edge of Sanity..it's just a little duct tape and I have eternal patience and the ruthless serenity of a Zen Master when focused on a task at hand.

Pinhead Jr.: "Yeah....and if any of you believe that one..I got a beautiful lakefront condo on the dark side of The Moon for sale."

yukk it up, ya little wiseass..just give me a few minutes of peace and quiet and I'll have this sucker unwrapped in no time.

2 hours later......

Pinhead Jr.: "So,uhh..... how's it goin' Pops?"

Herfabomber: "I swear to God, Junior....when I get my hands on that little freakin' mouse...I'm gonna scoop out his guts and stuff him with this duct tape and mount him on a wall!!!!..or better still, I'm gonna wrap his carcass with this tape and bury him like a freakin' mummy!!!!!!"

Pinhead Jr.: "So, that would make him King Tutmouse?....get it?....Tutmouse instead of Titmouse?..AAHAHAHAHAHA"

Herfabomber: "GET OUT!!!!!"

7 hours later......

Geezer: "Mr Herfabomber, Sir....we can't destroy Paris just because the mouse happens to be there on vacation...what if he's not in the city at that moment?"

Herfabomber: "Then destroy the whole damn country, Geezer!!!!...better yet...DESTROY EUROPE!!!....I want that freakin' mouse coming home in a match box...no wait..an EYE DROPPER!!!!!"

Pinhead Jr.: "So, are ya finished yet, Zen Master?"

Herfabomber: "BED!!!!...NOW!!!!!"

Pinhead Jr.: "Yup....eternal patience:crazy:"

10 hours later....

see..I told ya...no problem at all...

so, a couple hundred yards of tape later










I finally remove the tape, to find a plastic shopping bag filled with something that feels soft like clothing....my first thought was "oh great...he sent underwear out of revenge for when I bombed him with plaid boxers to wear with his kilt(which still makes me laugh).....then I removed the plastic bag.

now, I know we've all had our "Holy Shit" moments from getting bombed..I know I have, but..well, a picture is worth a thousand words....










an authentic Super Bowl XLVI NY Giants Jason Pierre-Paul jersey.....now, everyone say it with me....

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!

now, I don't know how many times I said "Holy Shit", but when I saw the back, I doubled the number....










HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!

and what's this on the number 9?










yyyup...signed and authenticated...one last time, please

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!

oh...and he did send cigars, too










1 Partagas Lusitania from OCT 06

1 Partagas 898 from MAR 04

HOLY SHIT!!!!!

Ian.....this was amazing.....anything I think of to say how much this means to me just doesn't seem like enough.....Thank You, my friend.


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## Vicini (Oct 10, 2010)

That is truly the mother of all bombs. My hats off to you little mouse. And to Pete Congrats brother


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## johnb (Feb 20, 2012)

2 Words ... holy shit!!!


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## MontyTheMooch (May 27, 2012)

ouirknotamuzd said:


> ....this grey bitch filled a medium-sized Priority flat rate box and was the size of watermelon


ROFL! That was awesome..........NARF!!!


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## Danfish98 (Jun 5, 2011)

:jaw: Incredibly creative to wrap it in 4 rolls of duct tape and the contents are simply amazing. You've outdone yourself Ian! Pretty good day to be a Herfabomber I'd say.


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## Packerjh (Nov 29, 2009)

That would have been sooooo much better if it were green and yellow and had an Arron Rogers autograph on the number...oh well...I guess you'll have to make due with...THAT!!

Freaking awesome bomb...must have been difficult for a Saints fan to buy that!


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## Shemp75 (May 26, 2012)

sick.


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## Vicini (Oct 10, 2010)

Packerjh said:


> That would have been sooooo much better if it were * black and white and had a Jonathan Quick* autograph on the number...oh well...I guess you'll have to make due with...THAT!!


Fixed


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

Game over. The mouse wins.


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## MontyTheMooch (May 27, 2012)

Packerjh said:


> That would have been sooooo much better if it were sent here!!
> 
> Freaking awesome bomb...must have been difficult for a Saints fan to buy that!


NOW it's fixed.


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## Packerjh (Nov 29, 2009)

Johnathan Quick...any relation to DJ Quick???


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## MontyTheMooch (May 27, 2012)

Packerjh said:


> Johnathan Quick...any relation to DJ Quick???


I think so. Their little sister was called Strawberry.


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## jphank (Apr 29, 2012)

Holy shit! The mouse outdid himself this time!


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## android (Feb 27, 2012)

well played brain.


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

Wow.


Wow, wow, wow.


WOW!


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## Packerjh (Nov 29, 2009)

Holy shit!!!


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## gasdocok (May 14, 2011)

Aninjaforallseasons said:


> Wow.
> 
> Wow, wow, wow.
> 
> WOW!


Yeah, I'll just go with that...


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## cavscout98 (Apr 14, 2012)

Very cool! What an awesome bomb!


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## 03Jarhead (Apr 30, 2012)

I thinks this out does the boxers how r u going to beat this nice hit you little mouse


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## lostdog13 (Jan 16, 2012)

Holy Shit! just seems to barely begin to cover it on this one. So that is 11 on the mouse's toy.


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## laloin (Jun 29, 2010)

OMGomgOMG. Holy shit. the mouse knocked you for six Hafabomber. way cool bomb Ian


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## max gas (Apr 11, 2011)

Wow, that's one heck of a bomb. Well done Ian.

4 rolls of duct tape = F'ing awesome

Enjoy Pete


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## Goldstein (Mar 7, 2012)

I have no words....



and that's rare...


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## BMack (Dec 8, 2010)

Holy crap! JPP!!!! Go Bulls!


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## hachigo (Feb 14, 2012)

Hahahaha. That's just great. I would love to see more people Tortured by Tedium™


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## nikonnut (Dec 4, 2011)

Aninjaforallseasons said:


> Wow.
> 
> Wow, wow, wow.
> 
> WOW!


^What he said! :lol:


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## lasix (Mar 25, 2012)

Good God man. I think that just takes the cake. The bar has been raised to a level of no reaching. Enjoy brother.....


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## BlackandGold508 (Jan 23, 2011)

johnb said:


> 2 Words ... holy shit!!!


Ya, what he said !


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## DarrelMorris (Feb 7, 2012)

Damn...Holy shit...wow...


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## Kindanutz (Jan 31, 2012)

WHAT!?!?... Excellent....


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## Ortiz (Feb 9, 2012)

Game over.


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