# Where do all the Cubans go?



## Ivory Tower (Nov 18, 2005)

Just wondering: 
To where do you have your Cuban shipments delivered - home address, P.O. Box, or other?


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## partagaspete (Apr 27, 2004)

This should be an entertaining thread!


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## icehog3 (Feb 20, 2005)

I have mine shipped to your momma's house. 


J/K, don't come hurt me.


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## leicoolya (Sep 7, 2005)

Ivory Tower said:


> Just wondering:
> To where do you have your Cuban shipments delivered - home address, P.O. Box, or other?


Hopefully Santa will bring all the cubans to me, thats what i asked for :r


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## dayplanner (Dec 11, 1997)

icehog3 said:


> I have mine shipped to your momma's house.
> 
> J/K, don't come hurt me.


 :r PM somebody.


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## Thurm15 (Jan 28, 2005)

I have mine shipped to my local Police Station. The fellas at Customs always let them through cause they figure it must be some kind of investigation.


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## dayplanner (Dec 11, 1997)

Well, if anything it was one fine review :r


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## RPB67 (Mar 26, 2005)

I pick all mine up at the airport in the US CUSTOMS OFFICE !


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## partagaspete (Apr 27, 2004)

Read this and the Forum rules. I will not Frag you but some may and rightfully so. Enjoy CS.

http://www.clubstogie.com/vb/showthread.php?t=8698


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## justinphilly-cl (Sep 7, 2005)

one quick question....With cuban cigars being illegal in these great United States, how would one get delivered ANYWHERE within the borders?

If anyone has an answer to this question, please pm CUSTOMUSAgent


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## SlimDiesel (Apr 13, 2005)

Well I go down to the Mexican border and meet Guillermo and Bob with their donkey. Unfortunatly they make me remove the cigars from the cavity myself. That reminds me, anyone know where I can get those arm length plastic gloves cheap?


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## mosesbotbol (Sep 21, 2005)

Delivered to the neighbors that are on vacation...


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## ATLHARP (May 3, 2005)

Mine are forwarded through a secret base 30 miles underneath the earth. From there a small man of 4'6" stature takes them and hand delivers them to a woman in red coat at a Burger King in Topeka, Kansas. From there I have them re-routed to a Bus Depot in Jacksonville, Florida. My army of Oompa Loompas then couriers them to Ron in which they are sampled for quality and then delivered to me.

ATL


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## illuminatus (Oct 20, 2005)

ATLHARP said:


> Mine are forwarded through a secret base 30 miles underneath the earth. From there a small man of 4'6" stature takes them and hand delivers them to a woman in red coat at a Burger King in Topeka, Kansas. From there I have them re-routed to a Bus Depot in Jacksonville, Florida. *My army of Oompa Loompas then couriers them to Ron in which they are sampled for quality and then delivered to me.*
> 
> ATL


ATL, I didn't want anybody knowing I worked for you man! C'mon! :r :r


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

justinphilly said:


> one quick question....With cuban cigars being illegal in these great United States, how would one get delivered ANYWHERE within the borders?


Ditto.
Didn't even know it was possible to have them delivered within the US.
Good thing I don't know anyone that does this or I would be forced to turn them in.


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## dayplanner (Dec 11, 1997)

Blueface said:


> Ditto.
> Didn't even know it was possible to have them delivered within the US.
> Good thing I don't know anyone that does this or I would be forced to turn them in.


Indeed. We are all upstanding, law abiding citizens here at club stogie


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## JezterVA (Sep 8, 2005)

Blueface said:


> Ditto.
> Didn't even know it was possible to have them delivered within the US.
> Good thing I don't know anyone that does this or I would be forced to turn them in.


Agreed. Nothing worse than a damn criminal cuban cigar pirate. Arrrggghhhhh!!!!

:hn them all.


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

After reading the title again, I figured it is only fair that I answer the question at hand, based on the title.
Where do all the Cubans go?

Well, during the week, we usually work like most people.
On weekends, we like to do the same as most people do. Sometimes we relax, sometimes we go places, sometimes we party.
Geographically, we go all over the country but the Union City/West New York area of NJ, along with Newark and Elizabeth, NJ were all known as 2nd Little Havana, with the Miami/Hialeah area of course being the number 1 Little Havana.

Hope this helps answer the question of "Where do all the Cubans go?".


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## partagaspete (Apr 27, 2004)

Blueface said:


> After reading the title again, I figured it is only fair that I answer the question at hand, based on the title.
> Where do all the Cubans go?
> 
> Well, during the week, we usually work like most people.
> ...


 :r I must say everyone is in a humorous Vs. fraggin mood today. As I said in my first response "this should be an intersting thread." I am suprised at how mild everyone has responded. Classy place all the way.

Welcom to CS there is a lot you will learn.

T


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## Fredster (Jan 26, 2004)

Office. Someones always there and it's under the wifes radar. Not that she wears the pants or anything.


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## dayplanner (Dec 11, 1997)

Blueface said:


> After reading the title again, I figured it is only fair that I answer the question at hand, based on the title.
> Where do all the Cubans go?
> 
> Well, during the week, we usually work like most people.
> ...


 :r Yep, lots of cubans here in jersey.


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## RcktS4 (Jan 13, 2005)

"Where do all the cubans go?"

Klugs' office, dummy. 
After all, that's where all their relatives are. It's like a freakin factory reunion -


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## WillyGT (Sep 13, 2004)

Well I live in Mexico so i buy them at the Local LCDH .


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## joed (Nov 12, 2005)

I have a magic box - when you open it - there are only as many as you need right then - then it's empty - you close the lid - the next time I need a smoke - I open the box - and there it is. So, I don't have any deliveries. :w


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## kvm (Sep 7, 2005)

My courier smuggles them in for me and we meet at a undisclosed location. Shhhhh!


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## Nely (Nov 11, 2004)

All the Cubans go to Miami!


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## Da Klugs (Jan 8, 2005)

[No message]


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## RcktS4 (Jan 13, 2005)

RcktS4 said:


> Klugs' office, dummy.


Told Ya.


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## fitter4570 (Nov 12, 2005)

I have mine shipped to my Church,So the whole congregation can have a ball.Beats smelling incense.


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

I'm Cuban.
Just went to my patio.
Smoked a Cohiba Siglo IV with my dad and son.
Then smoked a Padron Anni Maduro Principe.
Now, heading to the bathroom.

I guess that last part was TMI.

P.S.
Polished a half bottle of Grey Goose while at it.
Viva la France!
On second thought, up theirs. Drank it 'cause it was a freebie.


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

I just went outside and came back in.


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

I just posted again and got a free easy one.


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

There I go doing it again.
Us Cubans, you never know.


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

Just went and turned on the TV.
Don't know where I will go next.
Stay tuned.


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

Just got a call from my wife.
Boy, you never know what to expect from Cubans.


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

Oops.
Gotta run to the bathroom.
Boy, this feels like a live cam.


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

Now going to the gas station.
Think I will go to Chevron.


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

I think I will go to the supermarket after that.

OK, I think I wore this out now.


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

Nope.
Not worn out by a long shot.
Don't know where I will go next but will sure as heck let you know.
I think the wife wants to go shopping.
Another Cuban. Go figure.


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

Just told my wife she is an "ISOM".
Had no clue what the heck I was talking about.
Told me to go fly a kite (OK, not in such a nice way).


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

I just went down the street to walk the dogs.

Allow me to continue to humor myself after quite a bit of vodka.
This beats Comedy Central for me.


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

Wife is calling me to dinner.
Think that is where I will go next and will have to forutnately for whoever is reading this, sign out.


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## illuminatus (Oct 20, 2005)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo don't leave us!!!! :r :r


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## mr.c (Apr 8, 2004)

blueface, how do we know your a real cuban and not a dominican in a cuban wrapper?*

*Love that episode of seinfeld


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

mr.c said:


> blueface, how do we know your a real cuban and not a dominican in a cuban wrapper?*
> 
> *Love that episode of seinfeld


My dinner consisted of a palomilla steak, seasoned with onions and limon of course, along with white rice, black beans and complimented with platano maduro frito.

P.S.
I can dance to Guantanamera.

That Seinfeld episode is a classic!


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

Thought about it long and hard and figured out how I can prove I am Cuban.

Doctors could not circumcise me because I have three ring cap.


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## illuminatus (Oct 20, 2005)

Blueface said:


> Thought about it long and hard and figured out how I can prove I am Cuban.
> 
> Doctors could not circumcise me because I have three ring cap.


 u u LMFAO! That's great man.. too great...


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## etenpenny (Dec 12, 2005)

:r :r hahahaha 

thanks for giving me my laugh for the day


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## Nely (Nov 11, 2004)

Blueface said:


> Thought about it long and hard and figured out how I can prove I am Cuban.
> 
> Doctors could not circumcise me because I have three ring cap.


:r You killing me bro.
Here's another fact: While you play dominos, you play the first two round for yourself, leaving the "partner" playing against two and a spy. AND
-you get 11 fichas instead of ten.


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## SeanGAR (Jul 9, 2004)

Ivory Tower said:


> Just wondering:
> To where do you have your Cuban shipments delivered - home address, P.O. Box, or other?


I work part time for Customs on food and agricultural product cases.

I smoke cigars to test and determine if they are Cuban. Generally accuracy requires replication, so I usually smoke 25 per box to ensure that my determination is correct.

So, to answer your question, I get packages addressed to you.


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## illuminatus (Oct 20, 2005)

SeanGAR said:


> I work part time for Customs on food and agricultural product cases.
> 
> I smoke cigars to test and determine if they are Cuban. Generally accuracy requires replication, so I usually smoke 25 per box to ensure that my determination is correct.
> 
> So, to answer your question, I get packages addressed to you.


LMFAO @ SeanGAR :r :r


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## icehog3 (Feb 20, 2005)

Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near?


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## Ms. Floydp (Jan 7, 2005)

icehog3 said:


> Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near?


just like me, they long to be...... in my humidor


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## Ms. Floydp (Jan 7, 2005)

mr.c said:


> blueface, how do we know your a real cuban and not a dominican in a cuban wrapper?*
> 
> *Love that episode of seinfeld


maybe just cuban seed


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## floydp (Jun 6, 2004)

My daughter used to date a cuban but alas he had no cigars. He's a prof at Penn so my guess he goes to school alot. We went to dinner with him a few times and he ate quite a bit too. Go figure. Oh yeah, he didn't want to go boating, mumbled something about having enough of that chit.


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

I think it is important I mention "where do all the Cubans go" on vacation.

If you are a Cuban from the NJ area, you go to Miami.
If you are a Cuban from the Miami area, you go to Cuba.
If you are a Cuban from Cuba, you try to permanently go to Miami.

Hope that helps.


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## illuminatus (Oct 20, 2005)

This thread just keeps getting better and better! :r


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## vic_c (Sep 7, 2005)

What Cubans?


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## partagaspete (Apr 27, 2004)

"Oh yeah, he didn't want to go boating, mumbled something about having enough of that chit."


That woke me up this morning. :r Thanks for the laugh.

T


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## Ivory Tower (Nov 18, 2005)

mosesbotbol said:


> Delivered to the neighbors that are on vacation...


This is a clever, humorous answer, and yet also one that actually made sense. Great idea (you never heard that from me.)

Thanks for everyone else's attempts to handle their responses to my question with such aplomb.


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## JezterVA (Sep 8, 2005)

floydp said:


> Oh yeah, he didn't want to go boating, mumbled something about having enough of that chit.


 :r :r I almost busted a gut on that one. Too freakin' funny.


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

Next, "where do all the Cubans go?" to the supermarket.

Well, in Miami, that would be one and only one place, Sedanos. That is the supermarket of supermarkets for any Miami/Hialeah Cuban. Sedanos is so freaking popular with Cubans, my dad drives an hour from Boca Raton just to go to one.
Every once in a while, you find an odd ball that dares to go out to a "******" store such as *Windisi* (Winn Dixie but say it fast and mispronounced) or to *Publi* (Publix).

Stay tuned for the next chapter of the Learning Channel's special series, "Where do all the Cubans go?".


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## cigar no baka (Sep 7, 2005)

Those that can get out, Florida. Miami for the most part, but many of them spread out to other parts of the state.


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

Blueface said:


> Next, "where do all the Cubans go?" to the supermarket.
> 
> Well, in Miami, that would be one and only one place, Sedanos. That is the supermarket of supermarkets for any Miami/Hialeah Cuban. Sedanos is so freaking popular with Cubans, my dad drives an hour from Boca Raton just to go to one.
> Every once in a while, you find an odd ball that dares to go out to a "******" store such as *Windisi* (Winn Dixie but say it fast and mispronounced) or to *Publi* (Publix).
> ...


P.S.
When we go there and buy our meats, we don't buy a few steaks like most people do. We buy the whole freaking cow and have some of it diced up for "carne con papas", have some of it ground up for "picadillo", have some of it sliced for "palomilla" and so on, but regardless, it is a whole freaking cow that goes home with you because God forbid someone should visit you and you don't have enough meat for all.


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## Ivory Tower (Nov 18, 2005)

Blueface said:


> P.S.
> When we go there and buy our meats, we don't buy a few steaks like most people do. We buy the whole freaking cow and have some of it diced up for "carne con papas", have some of it ground up for "picadillo", have some of it sliced for "palomilla" and so on, but regardless, it is a whole freaking cow that goes home with you because God forbid someone should visit you and you don't have enough meat for all.


 Mmm. Meat is good.


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## mr.c (Apr 8, 2004)

5 pages :r 

what hasnt been covered??


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## partagaspete (Apr 27, 2004)

mr.c said:


> 5 pages :r
> 
> what hasnt been covered??


were do Cubans go for nightlife?


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## dayplanner (Dec 11, 1997)

Blueface said:


> God forbid someone should visit you and you don't have enough meat for all.


 :rMAO!


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## DownUnder LLG (Mar 29, 2005)

Don't listen to all this monkey business, I will tell you the truth. We all know cubans are illegal in the U.S. So ALL the guys here have them shipped to me coz cubans aren't illegal in Australia.

I look after them for them, take photo's post them on the boards, rotate them check the humidity etc etc. And when they wish to smoke one they phone me up and tell me what they want, so I smoke it for them and tell them what it's like... kinda like phone sex, you know.

It's a tough job but hey we all have to make sacrifices. Don't like it when someone requests a Monte #2 coz I don't like them and it means I have to :BS a bit... hey, they wanna hear what they wanna hear.


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

partagaspete said:


> were do Cubans go for nightlife?


That one is easy.

There is no nightlife.
We are too busy worrying about what to pack and what to wear the day Fidel is ousted.


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

Where do Cubans go Christmas Eve?

Whoever's house cooked the biggest pig.


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## dayplanner (Dec 11, 1997)

Blueface said:


> Where do Cubans go Christmas Eve?
> 
> Whoever's house cooked the biggest pig.


 :r Cubans sound a lot like my southern relatives. Do Cubans like nascar Carlos?


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## floydp (Jun 6, 2004)

carbonbased_al said:


> :r Cubans sound a lot like my southern relatives. Do Cubans like nascar Carlos?


Yeah and do they wear them god awful obnoxious caps with numbers all over them?


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## dayplanner (Dec 11, 1997)

floydp said:


> Yeah and do they wear them god awful obnoxious caps with numbers all over them?


 :r I ressemble that remark!


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

carbonbased_al said:


> Do Cubans like nascar Carlos?


Nope.
However, we are very much into water sports.
Here are our three favorites (which we are very, very good at, I might add):

* 90 mile dash swim
* 90 mile raft racing
* Monster Garage - Water Edition ("How to turn a truck into a boat and sail it for 90 miles")


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## Neuromancer (Sep 7, 2005)

Sung to the tune of "Where Have All The Flowers Gone"...

Where have all the Cubans gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the Cubans gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the Cubans gone?
To Miami, Florida
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all Havanas gone?
Long time passing
Where have all Havanas gone?
Long time ago
Where have all Havanas gone?
Gone to customs every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Time to lift the embargo!
Long time passing
Time to lift the embargo!
Long time ago
Time to lift the embargo!
Stupid U.S. policy
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Cuba libre time is now!
Long time passing
Cuba libre time is now!
Long time ago
Cuba libre time is now!
Time for freedom every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

When Raul and Fidel go,
Long time passing
When Raul and Fidel go,
Long time ago
When Raul and Fidel go,
Human rights for one and all
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the Cubans gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the Cubans gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the Cubans gone?
Familias junto every one
When will we ever learn?
When will we ever learn?


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## Neuromancer (Sep 7, 2005)

With apologies, of course (^), to our Cuban brethren...


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

"Where do all the Cubans go" for medication?

Every Cuban household has an "abuela" (grandma) or older "tia" (aunt) that thinks she has a brew for every ailment. Such a brew is known as a "cocimiento".

It is a spectacle worth observing when they are making that crap.
I swear that spirits from who knows where are summoned to join the concoction. Before you know it, they are shoving down your throat this nasty brew that looks, smells and tastes like hot urine with some chit added to boot.

Some households have a gazillion different ones depending on what ails you. Some houses have the same one regardless of what it is for. It is a riot to say the least.
If I had a cold, cocimiento time.
If I broke a leg, cocimiento time.
Toothache? Cocimiento time.
Constipated? You guessed it. Who needs Pepto Bismol when we have a cocimiento right at home.


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## Neuromancer (Sep 7, 2005)

She bent down and turned around and gave me a wink.
She said I’m gonna make it up right here in the sink.
It smelled like turpentine, and looked like Indian ink.
I held my nose, I closed my eyes, I took a drink!

Sounds like Love Potion #9, there, Carlos...


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

Holy crap Mark.
One place Cubans sure as heck don't go.
That is on CS at 6 in the morning.
We are dead asleep at that time.


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

Where do all the Cubans go after a rough journey across the Florida strait, fighting extremely rough seas, on nothing more than a homemade raft, sometimes nothing more than the back panels off a fridge, after finally making it to US soil, and being provided political Asylum?





Answer:
As soon as they have enough money, right back to Cuba to visit.

I still can't freaking figure that one out.


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## j6ppc (Jun 5, 2006)

Blueface said:


> I think it is important I mention "where do all the Cubans go" on vacation.
> 
> If you are a Cuban from the NJ area, you go to Miami.
> If you are a Cuban from the Miami area, you go to Cuba.
> ...


Priceless, thanks Carlos


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## snkbyt (Jun 22, 2006)

some things never change


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## donp (Mar 5, 2006)

icehog3 said:


> I have mine shipped to your momma's house.
> 
> J/K, don't come hurt me.


LOL!!

I didnt realizew this thread is old until 3 minutes ago. It is laugh out loud funny. It also hit home for me how nutty and fun this here jungle can be. Thanks for the laughs


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## shadowbandit (Nov 28, 2005)

Blueface said:


> Next, "where do all the Cubans go?" to the supermarket.
> 
> Well, in Miami, that would be one and only one place, Sedanos. That is the supermarket of supermarkets for any Miami/Hialeah Cuban. Sedanos is so freaking popular with Cubans, my dad drives an hour from Boca Raton just to go to one.
> Every once in a while, you find an odd ball that dares to go out to a "******" store such as *Windisi* (Winn Dixie but say it fast and mispronounced) or to *Publi* (Publix).
> ...


You are truely, without a doubt, the funniest F**king Cuban i have yet to meet. (Windisi--- shit my ribs hurt)


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## Dr_Trac (Nov 8, 2006)

SlimDiesel said:


> Well I go down to the Mexican border and meet Guillermo and Bob with their donkey. Unfortunatly they make me remove the cigars from the cavity myself. That reminds me, anyone know where I can get those arm length plastic gloves cheap?


:r

that's but don't they get bent during the removal process???


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