# So is it safe to smoke the "Guten Cala"?



## jnewman33 (Mar 28, 2011)

<insert spooky mystery music here>

It came in a bomb & apparently it's legendary to Puff

So should it be smoked or put in one of the humi's to be worshipped by all the other "lesser" cigars?

Maybe it needs a humi all to itself?


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## Poneill272 (Oct 29, 2010)

Any pics?


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## Rock31 (Sep 30, 2010)

Frame it! Smoke it in 25 years.


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## jnewman33 (Mar 28, 2011)

Poneill272 said:


> Any pics?


There's a pic of it in my post "Atomic Bomb", it's in the lot sent by Jenady


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## Cigary (Oct 19, 2007)

I've heard that when the Navy Seals hit the Bin Laden compound he was busy hiding a package of Guten Cala which are now quarantined in Guantanimo...these stories are always so frustrating to get to the bottom of.


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## shuckins (Jun 24, 2009)

i smoked one and posted the review here:
http://www.cigarforums.net/forums/vb/non-habanos-reviews/270917-guten-cala.html


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## russ812 (Aug 14, 2010)

You scored a Guten Cala??? I am truly in awe of you sir!  

I hear they are rolled on the thighs of virgins...who are shot and killed after 20 cigars.


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## szyzk (Nov 27, 2010)

I can't believe these are still floating around!

I heard that you don't even need to put flame to the Guten Cala - it lights itself when you put it to your lips!


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

shuckins said:


> i smoked one and posted the review here:
> http://www.cigarforums.net/forums/vb/non-habanos-reviews/270917-guten-cala.html


Another outstanding review! LOL

I took a while to get to "a class by yourself" but it was worth it!!! Viva Guten Cala!

(Guten Cala, by the by, means "good suppository")


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## BlackandGold508 (Jan 23, 2011)

What is this Guten Cala we speak of ???


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## AgentJuggernaut (Apr 12, 2011)

A Guten Cala is a mythical cigar. Only a few have seen it, and fewer have smoked it. It's the sasquatch of cigars.


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## Tritones (Jun 23, 2010)

I traded my wife's car for a handful of Guten Cala seeds. I told her not to worry - when those bad boys start bearing fruit, we can sell them for $15.00 a stick or more, and buy her a better car in no time.

So far they just look like cucumber plants.

I hope I didn't get taken ...


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

Tritones said:


> I traded my wife's car for a handful of Guten Cala seeds. I told her not to worry - when those bad boys start bearing fruit, we can sell them for $15.00 a stick or more, and buy her a better car in no time.
> 
> So far they just look like cucumber plants.
> 
> I hope I didn't get taken ...


You too Mike? Damn it! My Guten Cala seeds look like red balls, my wife calls them "tomatoes", but I am hoping that this is just part of the GC process.


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## Tritones (Jun 23, 2010)

Uh-oh! Looks like there are unscrupulous hucksters loose on the streets hawking fake Guten Cala seeds! Beware - only buy from trusted sources.

Whatever you do, though - don't PM Tony for info on suppliers. ound:


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## [email protected] (Apr 4, 2011)

Whenever I say "Guten Cala" out loud, I get the image of an evil priest from _Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom_ attempting to rip my heart out.


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## szyzk (Nov 27, 2010)

Tritones said:


> I traded my wife's car for a handful of Guten Cala seeds. I told her not to worry - when those bad boys start bearing fruit, we can sell them for $15.00 a stick or more, and buy her a better car in no time.
> 
> So far they just look like cucumber plants.
> 
> I hope I didn't get taken ...


If everything works out and the plant starts bearing the succulent Guten Cala fruit, give me a call. I'll gladly pay upwards of $22 per stick... I really, really, really want to be taken on the GC ride - so much so that I'll pay more than your asking price.

Seriously, I haven't even sniffed one of these cigars and they're already making my negotiating skills questionable. It's magical!


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## Tritones (Jun 23, 2010)

[email protected] said:


> Whenever I say "Guten Cala" out loud, I get the image of an evil priest from _Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom_ attempting to rip my heart out.


Which, of course, begs the question, why the hell are you saying "Guten Cala" out loud????


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## Tritones (Jun 23, 2010)

szyzk said:


> If everything works out and the plant starts bearing the succulent Guten Cala fruit, give me a call. I'll gladly pay upwards of $22 per stick... I really, really, really want to be taken on the GC ride - so much so that I'll pay more than your asking price.
> 
> Seriously, I haven't even sniffed one of these cigars and they're already making my negotiating skills questionable. It's magical!


Your powerful negotiating skills have made it more than likely that there will be something with "Guten Cala" on it available for shipment soon. I'll let you know when the crop is ready, and I'll post pictures so you can have first dibs. ipe: :tease:


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## szyzk (Nov 27, 2010)

Tritones said:


> Your powerful negotiating skills have made it more than likely that there will be something with "Guten Cala" on it available for shipment soon. I'll let you know when the crop is ready, and I'll post pictures so you can have first dibs. ipe: :tease:


So... $26 per stick?


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## Coop D (Oct 19, 2008)

These Guten Cala's are like herpes... They go away for a while and you think they're gone, but then they pop up again!!!!

I have one that I may now have to burn very soon!!!!


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## Tritones (Jun 23, 2010)

Coop D said:


> These Guten Cala's are like herpes... They go away for a while and you think they're gone, but then they pop up again!!!!
> 
> I have one that I may now have to burn very soon!!!!


Hey!!!! You told me all of yours were in a time-locked safe!

Clown!


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## Coop D (Oct 19, 2008)

Tritones said:


> Hey!!!! You told me all of yours were in a time-locked safe!
> 
> Clown!


Rules for Clowns:

1.) Never offer to smoke a Clowns Stogie
2.) Never say you use to blow bubbles as a kid
3.) Never go in a Clown's Crawlspace
4.) Never read anything a Clown types on Puff.com

:drum:


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## Tritones (Jun 23, 2010)

Coop D said:


> Rules for Clowns:
> 
> 1.) Never offer to smoke a Clowns Stogie
> 2.) Never say you use to blow bubbles as a kid
> ...


1 through 3 explain why most people find clowns a little bit creepy.

1 through 3 explain why I find clowns _a lot_ creepy.

4 would deprive me of too much entertainment. :tease:


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## jnewman33 (Mar 28, 2011)

I just had two guys in suits knock on my door & question if I've received anything "special" in the mail recently, I said no. They asked to check out my humidors but I told them not without a warrant. Maybe they'll be back.


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## Jenady (Nov 23, 2009)

[email protected] said:


> Whenever I say "Guten Cala" out loud, I get the image of an evil priest from _Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom_ attempting to rip my heart out.


"Guten Cala" should *never* be spoken out loud!


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## Jenady (Nov 23, 2009)

szyzk said:


> So... $26 per stick?


WHAT!!! You found them on sale?


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## szyzk (Nov 27, 2010)

Jenady said:


> WHAT!!! You found them on sale?


Man, you guys drive a hard bargain. $35.50 is my final offer.

Wait.

$37.09...

Is there a Guten Cala LE?


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## Coop D (Oct 19, 2008)

szyzk said:


> Man, you guys drive a hard bargain. $35.50 is my final offer.
> 
> Wait.
> 
> ...


Well since Guten's are already LE's, what would it then be called????:gossip:


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## szyzk (Nov 27, 2010)

Coop D said:


> Well since Guten's are already LE's, what would it then be called????:gossip:


With apologies to Tritones...

Guten Cala LE LE: Guten Calamity

or...

Guten Cala 2: Electric Boogaloo


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## Tritones (Jun 23, 2010)

Coop D said:


> Well since Guten's are already LE's, what would it then be called????:gossip:


Gurkha Cala.

Which reminds me - I hear rumblings of a new Rocky Patel Guten Cala Knockoff Vintage Second coming out soon.

Opening on Broadway this Fall:
_*Guten Calamania!*_ - it's not Guten Cala, but an incredible simulation.


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## szyzk (Nov 27, 2010)

Tritones said:


> Which reminds me - I hear rumblings of a new *Famous Exclusive* Rocky Patel Guten Cala Knockoff Vintage* Factory* Second *Maduro* coming out soon.


Fixed for you.

I think they can only fit "FERPGCKVFSM" on the label.


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## Tritones (Jun 23, 2010)

szyzk said:


> Fixed for you.
> 
> I think they can only fit "FERPGCKVFSM" on the label.


You're probably right - you herf with Rocky at least 10 times more often than I do. :mrgreen:


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## szyzk (Nov 27, 2010)

Tritones said:


> You're probably right - you herf with Rocky at least 10 times more often than I do. :mrgreen:


10 x 0 = ?

Puff math, don't fail me now!


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## Tritones (Jun 23, 2010)

szyzk said:


> 10 x 0 = ?
> 
> Puff math, don't fail me now!


I presume you have herfed with him at least 0 times ...


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## szyzk (Nov 27, 2010)

Tritones said:


> I presume you have herfed with him at least 0 times ...


At least.


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## Tritones (Jun 23, 2010)

Tritones said:


> I presume you have herfed with him at least 0 times ...





szyzk said:


> At least.


And I have herfed with 1/10th of that number of times.


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## szyzk (Nov 27, 2010)

Tritones said:


> And I have herfed with 1/10th of that number of times.


-3, I think.

Math is hard.

Edit: Or, it could be written this way - "I have herfed with Rocky so few times that it has negated a few of the non-Rocky (Rockyless?) herfs I have attended."


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## [email protected] (Apr 4, 2011)

Tritones said:


> Which, of course, begs the question, why the hell are you saying "Guten Cala" out loud????


Sometimes I like to say certain words out loud, and think about how they actually _sound_ when spoken. Just yesterday, I read the word "drawers", and was captivated by how it's pronounced ("drors") versus how it is spelled ("draw-ers"). I even describe certain words as "fun."

Does this make me crazy? Because if not, it certainly makes me sound like Rain Man.



Jenady said:


> "Guten Cala" should *never* be spoken out loud!


*Guten Ca-la.....GUTEN CA-LA!!!!*


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