# FOG's Beware



## max gas (Apr 11, 2011)

That’s right FOG’s, ZK 2.0 is coming for you. Why? Because we want to break some hips and hear you utter the words “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.” A lot of newer puffers are probably wondering what ZK 2.0 considers an FOG. Let me clarify for you. FOG’s can fall into 2 categories: 1. you’re a well respected BOTL/SOTL and you have shared your cigar knowledge on the forums for many years OR 2. You’re old. To all the FOG’s out there, I offer the following advice. Get into your Crown Victoria or Town Car and speed to Bill Knapp’s for your final early bird special for dinner (please don’t exceed 20mph, speeds over that are dangerous for you). You might also want to put on a clean pair of Depends, all the chaos and destruction at the end of the week will cause you to lose what little control of your bodily functions that you have left. BOOM goes the FOG’s!

My DC will be posted once I receive email confirmation of shipment.


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## Michigan_Moose (Oct 11, 2011)

LMAO opcorn:


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## hachigo (Feb 14, 2012)

I guess this could be interesting.

Wait, who are ZK 2.0? Some sort of long lost group of bombers?


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## Hannibal (Apr 22, 2011)

Wow, ZK2.0 stepping out huh????

Go get'em fellas...... Oh and I almost forgot...... Sister...... Hmmmmm...... That locker is looking more and more inviting...... (she knows what I'm talking about:boink::spank::spank::target::biglaugh::nod::nod


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

ZK... ZK... Ive heard of them before. A long time ago... As in a half remembered dream...

Go get 'em, boys!!!


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## Oldmso54 (Jul 31, 2010)

I've always wanted one of those neclaces where you just have to push the button and help comes... :biggrin: :biglaugh:


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

Hannibal said:


> Wow, ZK2.0 stepping out huh????
> 
> Go get'em fellas...... Oh and I almost forgot...... Sister...... Hmmmmm...... That locker is looking more and more inviting...... (she knows what I'm talking about:boink::spank::spank::target::biglaugh::nod::nod


LMAO. Like taking candy from a baby!

DO EET!


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## hardcz (Aug 1, 2007)

You kids better settle down, I'll call the ordinance officer on you.

I have no issue squashing you noobs in defence of my fellow old guys.


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## Hannibal (Apr 22, 2011)

hardcz said:


> You kids better settle down, I'll call the ordinance officer on you.
> 
> I have no issue squashing you noobs in defence of my fellow old guys.


Old????? I seem to remember you are ummmm a lot younger than a lot of people here..... Maybe not on the forum but in years... :lol:


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## Hannibal (Apr 22, 2011)

socalocmatt said:


> LMAO. Like taking candy from a baby!
> 
> DO EET!


And you know this!!!!


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## Packerjh (Nov 29, 2009)

Meh...they're old...they'll forget the bombs are coming, be surprised when they land, and then forget what they're surprised about (aboot if from up north)...


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## szyzk (Nov 27, 2010)

Launched two birthday bombs this morning, aimed right at two FOGs who are too crotchety for their own good. Hopefully they're home when the packages arrive, and not in Florida eating at Denny's and complaining about the pants kids are wearing.


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## hardcz (Aug 1, 2007)

Hannibal said:


> Old????? I seem to remember you are ummmm a lot younger than a lot of people here..... Maybe not on the forum but in years... :lol:


At least that puts me out of the line of fire, though doesn't mean I cannot defend those I consider my brothers in FOGdom


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

Well, I guess I'll kick this party off:

99162632816♥♥♥♥
0543114605♥♥♥♥8
991626988♥♥♥♥09

9405 5036 9930 ♥♥♥♥ 0559 ♥5

:wave:


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## sweater88 (Jul 31, 2011)

Z who?


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## kapathy (Nov 20, 2010)

To my FOG don't forget to add the basket to your walker when you get the mail on friday..... and ill be adding another heheheheh


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## Vicini (Oct 10, 2010)

94*5 5036 **** 0*57 **** 13

good buy old guy


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## Hannibal (Apr 22, 2011)

Oh the madness......


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## fiddlegrin (Feb 8, 2009)

Snahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahhaaha!

Too freaking funny! :clap2:...:clap2:...:clap2:...:clap2:...:clap2:...


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

In honor of the Bomb an FOG campaign I offer a little "mood music":


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## Oldmso54 (Jul 31, 2010)

szyzk said:


> Launched two birthday bombs this morning, aimed right at two FOGs who are too crotchety for their own good. Hopefully they're home when the packages arrive, and not in Florida eating at Denny's and complaining about the pants kids are wearing.


First of all my dear Andrew: There are plenty of places here in FL better than Denny's for Senior Discounts and Early Bird Specials !! And secondly: we don't just complain about their pants... we complain about that gawd awful thumping they call music... we complain about them wearing there hats every way but the way god made them to be worn... we complain about them always being on their phones but never answering them when we call... and we complain about all the bolts, pins, needles, studs and who knows what they have imbedded, planted and sticking out of their faces, lips, heads, eyebrows and god knows where else!!!

Just wanted to set the record straight :nod::yo:


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## Hannibal (Apr 22, 2011)

socalocmatt said:


> In honor of the Bomb an FOG campaign I offer a little "mood music":


Mood music??? Sounds like a damn boot in the dryer......


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## Oldmso54 (Jul 31, 2010)

socalocmatt said:


> In honor of the Bomb an FOG campaign I offer a little "mood music":


I want so badly to say something but I truly, truly... am at a loss for words :ask:


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

Hannibal said:


> Mood music??? Sounds like a damn boot in the dryer......





Oldmso54 said:


> I want so badly to say something but I truly, truly... am at a loss for words :ask:


LOL. Tell your people to stop dancing to it!!! :biglaugh:

I bet you want your 3:40 of your life back. I know I did. hahahahaha


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## Oldmso54 (Jul 31, 2010)

Saddest part is I've actually witnessed similar "situations" live and in person... and "YES" - I'm scarred for life because of it!


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## max gas (Apr 11, 2011)

socalocmatt said:


> In honor of the Bomb an FOG campaign I offer a little "mood music":


F'ing hilarious! I can't believe I just watched it all.


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## szyzk (Nov 27, 2010)

Oldmso54 said:


> First of all my dear Andrew: There are plenty of places here in FL better than Denny's for Senior Discounts and Early Bird Specials !! And secondly: we don't just complain about their pants... we complain about that gawd awful thumping they call music... we complain about them wearing there hats every way but the way god made them to be worn... we complain about them always being on their phones but never answering them when we call... and we complain about all the bolts, pins, needles, studs and who knows what they have imbedded, planted and sticking out of their faces, lips, heads, eyebrows and god knows where else!!!
> 
> Just wanted to set the record straight :nod::yo:


Spoken like a true FOG! :biglaugh:


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## hardcz (Aug 1, 2007)

.... it's 4pm and I'm tired... wtf.


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

Oldmso54 said:


> Saddest part is I've actually witnessed similar "situations" live and in person... and "YES" - I'm scarred for life because of it!


You got a lot of nerve, talking about being scarred for life, Mr. Sibfo...

My only comfort is that when the ZK is done with you, you'll look like this:










:biglaugh:


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## jphank (Apr 29, 2012)

Some FoG is gonna need a locker! Muahahaha.


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## hardcz (Aug 1, 2007)

Take it like a man Shawn, nothing you can do to stop it....


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## max gas (Apr 11, 2011)

hardcz said:


> Take it like a man Shawn, nothing you can do to stop it....


Why does everyone assume Shawn when the term FOG is brought up?

Change of subject, ordinance in the air:

9405 5102 0088 2411 3X7X *0


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

hardcz said:


> Take it like a man Shawn, nothing you can do to stop it....





max gas said:


> Why does everyone assume Shawn when the term FOG is brought up?
> 
> Change of subject, ordinance in the air:
> 
> 9405 5102 0088 2411 3X7X *0


We were pretending that it was Shawn??? Damn, never got that memo.


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## hardcz (Aug 1, 2007)

going to old country buffet.... don't do anything while I'm gone.


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## Hannibal (Apr 22, 2011)

Well could be a interesting week with the wheel of destruction going on and......

Then these guys have to pop up about some FOG's...... Glad I'm still young!! :nod::nod: (Look out Shawn!!! :biglaugh


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

max gas said:


> Why does everyone assume Shawn when the term FOG is brought up?


Because Shawn is _the _FOG!


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

Oldmso54 said:


> I've always wanted one of those neclaces where you just have to push the button and help comes... :biggrin: :biglaugh:


A pearl necklace?


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

primetime76 said:


> A pearl necklace?


Dirty bird

... oh wait... you actually mean a real pearl necklace??? I assumed the _other_ kind, ya know... being Kipp and all. :biggrin:


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## Johnny Rock (Jun 25, 2010)

socalocmatt said:


> In honor of the Bomb an FOG campaign I offer a little "mood music":


Proof that we might be old, but we ain't dead ...yet...:ss


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## ouirknotamuzd (Jan 29, 2011)

Oldmso54 said:


> I've always wanted one of those neclaces where you just have to push the button and help comes... :biggrin: :biglaugh:


yeah, Numbuts..maybe someone could help teach you how to spell "necKlace"ound:ound:ound:


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

ouirknotamuzd said:


> yeah, Numbuts..maybe someone could help teach you how to spell "necKlace"ound:ound:ound:


what's a Numbuts? oke:


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## ouirknotamuzd (Jan 29, 2011)

Oldmso54 said:


> First of all my dear Andrew: There are plenty of places here in FL better than Denny's for Senior Discounts and Early Bird Specials !! And secondly: we don't just complain about their pants... we complain about that gawd awful thumping they call music... we complain about them wearing there hats every way but the way god made them to be worn... we complain about them always being on their phones but never answering them when we call... and we complain about all the bolts, pins, needles, studs and who knows what they have imbedded, planted and sticking out of their faces, lips, heads, eyebrows and god knows where else!!!
> 
> Just wanted to set the record straight :nod::yo:


what the hell's wrong with pins?

Pinhead Jr.: "Yeah, Dusty McAncient....shouldn't you be in bed by now, anyway?....it's like 7PM"


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## Josh Lucky 13 (Dec 23, 2010)

Oldmso54 said:


> I've always wanted one of those neclaces where you just have to push the button and help comes... :biggrin: :biglaugh:


By help he means another drink.


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## ouirknotamuzd (Jan 29, 2011)

Aninjaforallseasons said:


> You got a lot of nerve, talking about being scarred for life, Mr. Sibfo...
> 
> My only comfort is that when the ZK is done with you, you'll look like this:
> 
> ...


nice cardigan, Derek....did you get that on sale at Dorks R Us?


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

ouirknotamuzd said:


> nice cardigan, Derek....did you get that on sale at Dorks R Us?


Dork's Wearhouse.


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## jphank (Apr 29, 2012)

Hannibal said:


> Glad I'm still young!! :nod::nod:


:biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh:


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## Mante (Dec 25, 2009)

After reading this thread all I can say is that I am sincerely grateful that I am not & never will be a FOG. I've been telling you people this for years. LOL. :spy:


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

ouirknotamuzd said:


> nice cardigan, Derek....did you get that on sale at Dorks R Us?


I was wondering if they made that sweater in a mens size.


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

primetime76 said:


> I was wondering if they made that sweater in a mens size.


I hate you. :kicknuts:

Dang it all, this was supposed to encourage making fun of Shawn, not me!


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## kapathy (Nov 20, 2010)

well mine will be going out tomorrow because apparently my mailman "couldnt find" the large flat rate box sitting on my porch swing exactly where I said it would be in my pickup request....... so now I have cut open the box add more shit to it.


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## szyzk (Nov 27, 2010)

Oldmso54 said:


> neclaces





ouirknotamuzd said:


> Numbuts












Do you guys need bigger keyboards?


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## foster0724 (Jun 9, 2010)

All the FOGs better catch up on their fiber cause they are gonna shit when these bombs hit. It'll make it a little less painful.


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## abhoe (Feb 29, 2012)

9405503699300056FOGs62


I'm going to take your tennis balls off your walker and throw them at you.


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## abhoe (Feb 29, 2012)

hardcz said:


> You kids better settle down, I'll call the ordinance officer on you.
> 
> I have no issue squashing you noobs in defence of my fellow old guys.


Falling asleep in Vherf doesn't make you a FOG.


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## hardcz (Aug 1, 2007)

abhoe said:


> Falling asleep in Vherf doesn't make you a FOG.


nope, other things do.


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## Oldmso54 (Jul 31, 2010)

This is a very funny and entertaining thread ... I hope it continues that way! 

And making fun of Derek is perfectly fine. I realize that making fun of Kipp is just too easy, but feel free to throw him under the bus too.

I checked my spelling Pinhead (funny coming from a guy who doesn't capitalize, punctuate or construct a grammatically correct sentance ever!)- I think I did OK this time?

Has anyone read my profile lately where it says "address"?? No reason - just curious...


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## hachigo (Feb 14, 2012)

Oldmso54 said:


> Has anyone read my profile lately where it says "address"?? No reason - just curious...


I guess you'll just have to get better at hiding those packages, huh?


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## Hannibal (Apr 22, 2011)

Oldmso54 said:


> Has anyone read my profile lately where it says "address"?? No reason - just curious...


Brother, you know I love ya, but you might wanna think about moving out now :nod: no particular reason, just sayin..... :biglaugh:


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## foster0724 (Jun 9, 2010)

Don't worry Shawn. The FOGs chosen are respected members. You should be fine.


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## abhoe (Feb 29, 2012)

foster0724 said:


> Don't worry Shawn. The FOGs chosen are respected members. You should be fine.


:lol: :biglaugh::lol: :biglaugh::lol: :biglaugh::lol: :biglaugh::lol: :biglaugh:


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

Sending package to Shawn....LOL


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## Oldmso54 (Jul 31, 2010)

foster0724 said:


> Don't worry Shawn. The FOGs chosen are respected members. You should be fine.


Now that ^ is FUNNY! LMAO ound: RG for you Shane



primetime76 said:


> Sending package to Shawn....LOL


And this ^ is NOT FUNNY Kipp! :argue: :nono: :mad2:


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## kapathy (Nov 20, 2010)

9405 5036 9930 00** 0246 **

Just a few things heading to retirement capital of the U.S.


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## Hannibal (Apr 22, 2011)

kapathy said:


> 9405 5036 9930 00** 0246 **
> 
> Just a few things heading to retirement capital of the U.S.


^^^^ See, look out Shawn!!


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

hachigo said:


> I guess you'll just have to get better at hiding those packages, huh?


Dude, I heard Shawn is an _expert _at playing "hide the package."

:biglaugh:


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

Aninjaforallseasons said:


> Dude, I heard Shawn is an _expert _at playing "hide the package."
> 
> :biglaugh:


Is it "Yo Mama Friday" yet?


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

OOOOO. Just checked. "On FedEx vehicle for delivery". :banana: arty:


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## Hannibal (Apr 22, 2011)

socalocmatt said:


> OOOOO. Just checked. "On FedEx vehicle for delivery". :banana: arty:


Now this I CAN NOT WAIT to see!!!! This WILL be epic!!!


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

*DELIVERED! Left at front door. Signature Service not requested.*​
AHHH. 57 lbs of funny just got dropped... and #4 is still in the air! Today is a good day.


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## kapathy (Nov 20, 2010)

holy shit matt, mine just got picked up..... speedy gonzolez over in socal


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## max gas (Apr 11, 2011)

Hahahahahahaha ......... 57 lbs. holy shitballs. Awesome!


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

Hopefully the old man will be able to carry it. :biglaugh:

Oh... and SOME assembly is required. I figure it'll give him something to do for the day.


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

I'm so excited to see whatever the **** you have going on!


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## Hannibal (Apr 22, 2011)

57 pounds???? Holy Hell!!! This has to be a record bomb if there ever was one!!


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## hardcz (Aug 1, 2007)

it's a giant bag of shit.


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

hardcz said:


> it's a giant bag of shit.


Dont ruin the surprise for everyone, ass!


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## max gas (Apr 11, 2011)

socalocmatt said:


> Hopefully the old man will be able to carry it. :biglaugh:
> 
> Oh... and SOME assembly is required. I figure it'll give him something to do for the day.


I think 57 lbs exceeds the weight restriction on his Rascal scooter's basket. Maybe a helpful boyscout can help him carry it. It's really a win win situation. FOG gets his package moved and boyscout get his helping FOG's badge :rofl:


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## JohnnyFlake (May 31, 2006)

foster0724 said:


> Don't worry Shawn. The FOGs chosen are respected members. You should be fine.


Oh! Man, I really love this LOL - a little RG coming your way!


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## Oldmso54 (Jul 31, 2010)

JohnnyFlake said:


> Oh! Man, I really love this LOL - a little RG coming your way!


Hey John is a FOG and extremely well respected - so it must be him that's getting blown up!!


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## Vicini (Oct 10, 2010)

Oldmso54 said:


> Hey John is a FOG and extremely well respected - so it must be him that's getting blown up!!


you'd think so. but ummmm NO


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## Hannibal (Apr 22, 2011)

So when is the rest scheduled to land??? 

This is a very interesting week so far.


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## Oldmso54 (Jul 31, 2010)

appointment tonight - won't be home till 8PM and although I meet the criteria of being a FOG - I certaintly hope to tune in tonight to SOMEONE ELSE'S DESTRUCTION!


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## max gas (Apr 11, 2011)

Hannibal said:


> So when is the rest scheduled to land???
> 
> This is a very interesting week so far.


USPS shows mine should be landing sometime tomorrow.


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

Oldmso54 said:


> appointment tonight - won't be home till 8PM and although I meet the criteria of being a FOG - I certaintly hope to tune in tonight to SOMEONE ELSE'S DESTRUCTION!


Hope without hope. It's kinda endearing the way the old guy clings to it.

Poor old man.

Shawn, I saw a billboard about elder abuse... I'll see if I can track down the phone number for you...


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## kapathy (Nov 20, 2010)

Typical zk fashion... spread out destruction we wouldn't want to over work the FOG


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

Aninjaforallseasons said:


> Hope without hope. It's kinda endearing the way the old guy clings to it.
> 
> Poor old man.
> 
> Shawn, I saw a billboard about elder abuse... I'll see if I can track down the phone number for you...


Can you track down the number for Donna Karan so I can replicate your wardrobe for my wife?? ound:


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

primetime76 said:


> Can you track down the number for Donna Karan so I can replicate your wardrobe for my wife?? ound:


You let your wife wear plaid, v-neck sweaters and ties?

I think that makes you a lesbian.


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

Aninjaforallseasons said:


> You let your wife wear plaid sweater vests?
> 
> I think that makes you a lesbian.


I have mised ya D! Lol


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

primetime76 said:


> I have mised ya D! Lol


It's good to have ya back, Kipper!


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## Hannibal (Apr 22, 2011)

primetime76 said:


> Can you track down the number for Donna Karan so I can replicate your wardrobe for my wife?? ound:





Aninjaforallseasons said:


> You let your wife wear plaid, v-neck sweaters and ties?
> 
> I think that makes you a lesbian.





primetime76 said:


> I have mised ya D! Lol





Aninjaforallseasons said:


> It's good to have ya back, Kipper!


Awww will you look at this......Isn't this cute...... Feeling the love :nod:


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

Hannibal said:


> Awww will you look at this......Isn't this cute...... Feeling the love :nod:


Jeff, stop yanking it to the pic do Derek pinning Shawn!


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## max gas (Apr 11, 2011)

primetime76 said:


> Jeff, stop yanking it to the pic do Derek pinning Shawn!


:biglaugh:


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## hardcz (Aug 1, 2007)

lawl, I just heard what landed....


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## max gas (Apr 11, 2011)

Out for delivery. Bye bye mailbox. KABOOM


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## Hannibal (Apr 22, 2011)

Ah Huh........ Okay Mike!!!!

Yes the birdie has landed!!!

http://www.cigarforums.net/forums/v...85-just-because-i-smoke-pipe.html#post3609144

This was so good it warranted it's own post!!!


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

Hannibal said:


> Ah Huh........ Okay Mike!!!!
> 
> Yes the birdie has landed!!!
> 
> ...


:cheer2: :boom: :cheer2:

Now remember that there are two qualifications given to what a FOG is. I'll leave it to you to decide which one you fall under (or both). :bolt:


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## max gas (Apr 11, 2011)

And the FOG's start to fall......


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

Final strike landed today. I might need to send him Life Alert.


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## kapathy (Nov 20, 2010)

out for delivery.... another FOG is done for.


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## abhoe (Feb 29, 2012)

max gas said:


> And the FOG's start to fall *ASLEEP*......


 There Fixed that for ya


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## fiddlegrin (Feb 8, 2009)

socalocmatt said:


> *DELIVERED! Left at front door. Signature Service not requested.*​
> AHHH. 57 lbs of funny just got dropped... and #4 is still in the air! Today is a good day.





max gas said:


> Hahahahahahaha ......... 57 lbs. holy shitballs. Awesome!





max gas said:


> I think 57 lbs exceeds the weight restriction on his Rascal scooter's basket. Maybe a helpful boyscout can help him carry it. It's really a win win situation. FOG gets his package moved and boyscout get his helping FOG's badge :rofl:





Aninjaforallseasons said:


> Hope without hope. It's kinda endearing the way the old guy clings to it.
> 
> Poor old man.
> 
> Shawn, I saw a billboard about elder abuse... I'll see if I can track down the phone number for you...





Aninjaforallseasons said:


> You let your wife wear plaid, v-neck sweaters and ties?
> 
> I think that makes you a lesbian.


Snahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahaha! 
Thanks for the giggles! :high5:


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## kapathy (Nov 20, 2010)

I think there are a few FOG puffers in need of medical assistance.... their mechanically beating hearts might not have been able to with stande the guerrilla tactics and explosive ordinances.


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## foster0724 (Jun 9, 2010)

This thread needs a little more noise
9405 5036 9930 0063 2758 XX


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## max gas (Apr 11, 2011)

foster0724 said:


> This thread needs a little more noise
> 9405 5036 9930 0063 2758 XX


Go get'em Shane!


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## abhoe (Feb 29, 2012)

Mine landed today.


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## Vicini (Oct 10, 2010)

For some reason mine has been lost somewhere. it left San Jose last Tuesday and that's all I know. if it doesn't land soon I'll have to make a new FOG destruction device


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