# Top 10 ways to deal with a Mooch



## Lamar (Dec 12, 1997)

Now that the weather has finally come around, we are now in Mooch season. Here's my list of best ways to deal with those pesky parasites...

1. No, the Cohiba Sublime is an aquired taste.
2. That white stuff on my cigars is fungus...I wouldn't want you to get sick.
3. Cubans aren't what they used to be. Let me get you a Philly Blunt.
4. These Cigars are only five years old. They'll be better next year.
5. These Cigars are five years old. That's way too old...they're bad now.
6. I have some cigars on order that you'll like more, I'll call you when they arrive.
7. 1993 was a terrible year for Cubans, how about a Black and Mild?
8. My cigars are in a sick period, they aren't smoking well now.
9. I noticed that the ash was black on that batch...too much magnesium in the soil. I'm planning on sending them back. How about a Dutch Masters?

The best way to deal with a Mooch...
10. Why don't we TRADE a Cuban for an Opus X?


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## Da Klugs (Jan 8, 2005)

He _He_


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## rumballs (Mar 15, 2005)

11. Put a cuban band on a Don Barreto and say "sure you can have one". They'll never ask for another cuban again 

(see the "Who wants it pass" if you are confused)


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## DonJefe (Dec 1, 2003)

I think we have a few of the pesky year round moochers, same rules apply though!


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## croatan (Mar 23, 2005)

12. Oh no, you don't want those--they're fake. They came from China or Taiwan or someplace.


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## DonJefe (Dec 1, 2003)

mmblz said:


> 11. Put a cuban band on a Don Barreto and say "sure you can have one". They'll never ask for another cuban again
> 
> (see the "Who wants it pass" if you are confused)


I didn't know Robert Blake was making cigars?!


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## Nely (Nov 11, 2004)

1-Lock and hide your humidor!
2-here's a Cohiba from the limited edition glasstop box, enjoy!
3-Always have Padron Fumas and #1's in stock, give them away unbanded as cubans.
4-NO!
5-NO DAMN IT!
6- N-O
7-Get out of my house! *pumping shotgun*


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## Da Klugs (Jan 8, 2005)

DonJefe said:


> I think we have a few of the pesky year round moochers, same rules apply though!


Hey just because you send me really nice cigars, and ask for empty tubes in return doesn't make me a moocher does it? :tpd:


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## DonJefe (Dec 1, 2003)

Da Klugs said:


> Hey just because you send me really nice cigars, and ask for empty tubes in return doesn't make me a moocher does it? :tpd:


Yes Dave it does. Admission is the first step to healing.


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## MoTheMan (May 24, 2003)

Good Stuff!! :w


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## drill (Jan 1, 2000)

my top 10 ways with dealing with a mooch

1 No Matt
2 No Matt
3 No Matt
4 No Matt
5 No Matt
6 No Matt
7 No Filly( she just gotta give it a try!)
8 No Matt
9 No Matt
10 No Matt

 :r 

k


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## icehog3 (Feb 20, 2005)

Too funny guys!! Oh, by the way: "What's a 'bomb? How does one go about getting bombed? Should I post my address in my profile so everyone can send me bombs? And just what is a bomb, anyway?"


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## OpusEx (Oct 31, 2003)

drill said:


> my top 10 ways with dealing with a mooch
> 
> 1 No Matt
> 2 No Matt
> ...


Damn, you beat me by a couple of minutes! LMFAO


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## Pablo (Oct 13, 1997)

12. Cohiba is actually spanish for "Dog's Rear"
13. Sure, have one of my better cigars, I make sure I age every one for at least one hour in my armpit after playing racquetball.


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## RPB67 (Mar 26, 2005)

I like No.

No 

and 

No way.


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## RcktS4 (Jan 13, 2005)

1 Tell 'em to put up a post asking IHT for some.... 
2. "Nothing makes me happier than supplying people with cigars, and I would be overjoyed and ecstatic to give you a cuban... but I'm not going to."
3. Chainsaw
4. "I'll trade you for oral sex"
5. Can't - they're all broken
6. "Huh? Did you say something? I can't hear you through the thick blue smoke" 
7. "Do I ask you to sleep with your wife?"
8. [deliverance]"you got a purty mouth, boy... now squeal like a pig for me"[/deliverance]
9. Send 'em to Klugs' house
10. "Ah, what the hell. They've been sitting a while since I licked 'em, and I haven't had a herpes outbreak in months - I'm sure they're OK by now"


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## Thurm15 (Jan 28, 2005)

Thanks for the tips Lamar. I'm having a Barbque here this weekend. I think the Humi's going in the closet and I'll be putting a box of AF Brevas on the Table along with the box of Don Baretto's.


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## DonVon (Feb 25, 2005)

The best Cohibas come in silver aluminum tubos, BTW [email protected] #7 Black & Milds


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## Matt R (Dec 12, 1997)

1. Just tell them, " I'm sending these to Matt".
2. Just tell them, " I'm sending these to Matt".
3. Just tell them, " I'm sending these to Matt".
4. Just tell them, " I'm sending these to Matt".
5. Just tell them, " I'm sending these to Matt".
6. Just tell them, " I'm sending these to Matt".
7. Just tell them, " I'm sending these to Matt".
8. Just tell them, " I'm sending these to Matt".
9. Just tell them, " I'm sending these to Matt".
10. Just tell them, " I'm sending these to Matt".


Then follow through on your promise, ya' buncha cheap bastids...... :r


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## j6ppc (Jun 5, 2006)

:r :r 

Too funny


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## Bruce (Dec 31, 1999)

Good stuff!
What ever happened to our resident expert Don Von?


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## Zoomschwortz (Jul 14, 2006)

RcktS4 said:


> 1 Tell 'em to put up a post asking IHT for some....
> 2. "Nothing makes me happier than supplying people with cigars, and I would be overjoyed and ecstatic to give you a cuban... but I'm not going to."
> 3. Chainsaw
> 4. "I'll trade you for oral sex"
> ...


:r :r This is too good. Thanks I really needed the laugh.

Have a great night guys
Ken


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## StudentSmoker (Apr 24, 2006)

j6ppc said:


> :r :r
> 
> Too funny


We were on the SEARCH warpath yesterday weren't we?


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