# Death to the llamas!



## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

Alright. Now that I have your attention, and since I love taking the opportunity to talk, there is some reasoning behind this attack.

Number 1: Sometime this week my probationary period will end and I will become a full access puffer. What better way to celebrate and give back to the community then with a giant attack?

Number 2: Recently Shawn has been making the repeated comment that Derek seems to have been abandoned by his fellow squids. Well that is simply untrue. I must demonstrate without a doubt that I am a squid first and foremost and my ink will continue to be slung!

Number 3: I am getting married in less than 2 months... As it gets nearer and nearer I am spending less time on Puff and will definitely be spending less time smoking and bombing. So I felt I needed to do something on a large scale to get me thru until after the honeymoon.

and most importantly

Number 4: I am tired of the opressing force of the ZK being so damn cocky and smug within their numbers. I started slinging bombs at them as soon as possible, one by one I began to hit them, yet still, the squids gained no respect. I fired a 3-round burst POW POW POW! Yet we are still looked upon as no threat. A weak force. NO LONGER! The squids will hence forth be recognized for the force they represent! VIVA LA RESISTANCE!

MUAH HAHAHA!

The post office is closed until morning. But my lovely pretties are ready and waiting for first light to begin their travels to their waiting targets!

Numbers!
9405 5036 9930 0184 3832 33
9405 5036 9930 0184 3832 40
9405 5036 9930 0184 3832 57
9405 5036 9930 0184 3832 64
9405 5036 9930 0184 3832 88
9405 5036 9930 0184 3832 95
9405 5036 9930 0184 3833 18
9405 5036 9930 0184 3833 25
9405 5036 9930 0184 3833 56
9405 5036 9930 0184 3833 94
9405 5036 9930 0184 3980 77
9405 5036 9930 0184 3980 84
9405 5036 9930 0184 3980 91
9405 5036 9930 0184 3981 07
9405 5036 9930 0184 3981 14


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## szyzk (Nov 27, 2010)

Seriously?


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

szyzk said:


> Seriously?


 I am super serial about this


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## Zogg (Aug 31, 2010)

Crap. I hope im safe from one of those. I do love hand dryers..


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## Who Killed Thursby? (Mar 31, 2011)

Excelsiorrrr!


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## Oldmso54 (Jul 31, 2010)

That's very nice but you spelled "Apocalypse" wrong.


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## gasdocok (May 14, 2011)

Dave, that is NUTS!
You are a one man arsenal!

Take that you llamas.


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## szyzk (Nov 27, 2010)

Excelsior!


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## Who Killed Thursby? (Mar 31, 2011)

szyzk said:


> Excelsior!


I win


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## titlowda (Jan 23, 2011)

I am going to have to watch how this plays out. So far Kipp and Shawn have been a formidable opponent yet friends before anything.


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

I like to add sauces and peppers to my squid after I blow the hell out of them. Anyone else?

Oh yea, forgot, a bomb, uh yea.

Anyways, it seems like a mix of red pepper and parsley goes well is a spicy marinara.


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## Max_Power (Sep 9, 2010)

BadAss.

Seriously.


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## Who Killed Thursby? (Mar 31, 2011)

Can one actually eat Llama however?


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

socalocmatt said:


> I like to add sauces and peppers to my squid after I blow the hell out of them. Anyone else?
> 
> Oh yea, forgot, a bomb, uh yea.
> 
> Anyways, it seems like a mix of red pepper and parsley goes well is a spicy marinara.


I must admit... That looks delicious... :wink:


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## Oldmso54 (Jul 31, 2010)

gasdocok said:


> Dave, that is NUTS!
> You are a one man arsenal!
> 
> Take that you llamas.


Be careful who you side with Matt, you're catching the attention of some of the ZK brothers. :shock: ray:


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

Who Killed Thursby? said:


> Can one actually eat Llama however?


 Actually yes. I have eaten llama.


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## Oldmso54 (Jul 31, 2010)

Who Killed Thursby? said:


> Can one actually eat Llama however?


NO - but that squid dish looks fabulously delicious!!


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

Oldmso54 said:


> That's very nice but you spelled "Apocalypse" wrong.


I know... Look again... Alpaca-lypse

It is a clever pun... Come on! Work with me here.


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

David, give the man a break. He's really, really old.


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## Oldmso54 (Jul 31, 2010)

David_ESM said:


> I know... Look again... Alpaca-lypse
> 
> It is a clever pun... Come on! Work with me here.


Touche` - ROTFLMAO - I have to give you that one!! :lolat:


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

gasdocok said:


> Dave, that is NUTS!
> You are a one man arsenal!
> 
> Take that you llamas.


One man? ONE MAN?! WE SQUID ARE THREE!*

*We think. We're not actually sure where the heck Terry is. He's lost over in some "pipe" land or something.


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

I guess squids are bad at math too:

1/3 + 1/3 + 1/3 = 1


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## Oldmso54 (Jul 31, 2010)

Aninjaforallseasons said:


> One man? ONE MAN?! WE SQUID ARE THREE!*
> 
> *We think. We're not sure where the heck Terry is.


I already checked for ya' - he's over in the pipe thread - apparently too sophisticated for us stogie guys :smoke2:


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

Aninjaforallseasons said:


> One man? ONE MAN?! WE SQUID ARE THREE!*
> 
> *We think. We're not actually sure where the heck Terry is. He's lost over in some "pipe" land or something.


Damn straight.








*


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

socalocmatt said:


> I guess squids are bad at math too


This might be true... I felt like I was starting to lose my mind... So many boxes... So many cigars... So many DC numbers...

:hmm:


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

David_ESM said:


> This might be true... I felt like I was starting to lose my mind... So many boxes... So many cigars... So many DC numbers...
> 
> :hmm:


You must be losing your mind if you think that you will take out ZKs.


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

socalocmatt said:


> You must be losing your mind if you think that you will take out ZKs.


You have to have a mind to lose it good sir.

I will settle for putting a hurting on the entire llama herd... Hell I would be greatly amused if the blast simply burned off all your hair


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## Rock31 (Sep 30, 2010)

Very nice!

Take em all down~!


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## piperdown (Jul 19, 2009)

fzzzz, pop, then quiet silence....sounds about right for squids.... oke:


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

piperdown said:


> fzzzz, pop, then quiet silence....sounds about right for squids' victims...


Fixed it for ya.


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## Shibby (Jul 13, 2011)

Hmm, i actually lived to see the day where someone matched the power of a single Shuckins carpet bomb... Its amazing to me


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

David_ESM said:


> You have to have a mind to lose it good sir.
> 
> I will settle for putting a hurting on the entire llama herd... Hell I would be greatly amused if the blast simply burned off all your hair


LMAO. Thats one amazing pic! Do you google image search random llama craziness on your lunch break?


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## E Dogg (Mar 23, 2011)

Oldmso54 said:


> That's very nice but you spelled "Apocalypse" wrong.


Actually, I see Alpaca in there.... I think it was intentional :fear:

Edit: I actually didn't realize that there was already three pages on this thread.....GOSH


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## Oldmso54 (Jul 31, 2010)

E Dogg said:


> Actually, I see Alpaca in there.... I think it was intentional :fear:


Eric - I thought you were on our side?


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## piperdown (Jul 19, 2009)

Shibby said:


> Hmm, i actually lived to see the day where someone matched the power of a single Shuckins carpet bomb... Its amazing to me


Naw, Shuckins does that kind of damage when he sneezes. You should see him when he has a cold.....


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## E Dogg (Mar 23, 2011)

Oldmso54 said:


> Eric - I thought you were on our side?


Ohhh... :sorry:


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

socalocmatt said:


> LMAO. Thats one amazing pic! Do you google image search random llama craziness on your lunch break?


Actually my lunch break is pretty much the only part of my work day when I'm not compiling a llama database... :smoke:


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

I just felt since the llamas pride themselves so greatly on bombing their targets in double digits, I should return the favor by bombing a double digit amount of llamas.


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## KcJason1 (Oct 20, 2010)

Calm down RON!


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

I have to admit, that's about the size of a Shuckins fart... but, if I moderated these forums, I'd create the "Holy SH*T Dude!" Award and give it to you David. That's a pretty damn awesome bombing run! WTG.


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

socalocmatt said:


> I like to add sauces and peppers to my squid after I blow the hell out of them. Anyone else?
> 
> Oh yea, forgot, a bomb, uh yea.
> 
> Anyways, it seems like a mix of red pepper and parsley goes well is a spicy marinara.


Oh Hell yum.....


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## sdlaird (Mar 15, 2011)

Now that's what I'm talking about!! Someone finally sacked up!!!BOOOOMMM! Good work man.


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## max gas (Apr 11, 2011)

Holy crap David. Looks like you been holding in a lot of anger towards the llamas and it all just exploded. 

Well done David. Get it all out of your system


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## NoShhhSherlock (Mar 30, 2011)

Wow David, the effort is definitely recognized! But I have to say I don't think anything as cute and cuddly as a Llama can gain respect


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## gasdocok (May 14, 2011)

NoShhhSherlock said:


> Wow David, the effort is definitely recognized! But I have to say I don't think anything as cute and cuddly as a Llama can gain respect


Have you forgotten the ridiculous beating that was just laid upon you by said llamas? Did the blast give you a concussion and disrupt your memory? Or maybe you have been smoking something other than those fine tobaccos they sent you in that pipe...:boxing:


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

Boy that photo sure does look familiar... :wink:


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## NoShhhSherlock (Mar 30, 2011)

gasdocok said:


> Have you forgotten the ridiculous beating that was just laid upon you by said llamas? Did the blast give you a concussion and disrupt your memory? Or maybe you have been smoking something other than those fine tobaccos they sent you in that pipe...:boxing:


Haha, I must be confused. Who are the Llamas?? Here a Llama there a Llama everybody a Llama! David a Llama, Matt a Llama.....



David_ESM said:


> Boy that photo sure does look familiar... :wink:


Thanks David, My work is very similar to a great members work here on puff. I'm glad you have the eye to notice a great artist when you see one :bounce:


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

NoShhhSherlock said:


> David a Llama


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

David_ESM said:


> I know... Look again... Alpaca-lypse
> 
> It is a clever pun... Come on! Work with me here.


I got it dude...and actually LOL'd. Alpacalypse...LMFAO


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

I do have to admit...that is impressive work there kid! Congrats on the impending doom...oops...I meant wedding. Did I let the squid out of the bag?


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## Habano (Jul 5, 2010)

David_ESM said:


> *Number 4: I am tired of the opressing force of the ZK being so damn cocky and smug within their numbers. I started slinging bombs at them as soon as possible, one by one I began to hit them, yet still, the squids gained no respect. I fired a 3-round burst POW POW POW! Yet we are still looked upon as no threat. A weak force. NO LONGER! The squids will hence forth be recognized for the force they represent! VIVA LA RESISTANCE!*


You should have contacted me when you started putting this together so we could coordinate something at the same time. I have a feeling with your stack of bombs and mine, we could have put an end to this Zilla Killa gang of little boys.


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

Starbuck said:


> You should have contacted me when you started putting this together so we could coordinate something at the same time. I have a feeling with your stack of bombs and mine, we could have put an end to this Zilla Killa gang of little boys.


Guys...seriously? You should all know by now that there is not "putting an end" to ZK. We are here to stay and we will continue to blow up mailboxes world wide. Of course, David_ESM (the ESM stands for "Essential Squid Masterbator") is now up on the list of people that need to be destroyed...he thinks that by bombing all of ZK that it will leave a mark? ound: All it will do is make us take notice...and handle our business. The poor, poor Davids of this site have NO IDEA what they are getting into.


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## Zogg (Aug 31, 2010)

not to mention kipps getting near 3K posts which i feel will result in more explosions >.>


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

primetime76 said:


> :blah::blah::blah::blah::blah:


:bored:

On my way out the door to the post office.


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

David_ESM said:


> :bored:
> 
> On my way out the door to the post office.


:thumb:


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## ouirknotamuzd (Jan 29, 2011)

piperdown said:


> fzzzz, pop, then quiet silence....sounds about right for squids.... oke:


"plop plop fizz fizz, oh,what an annoying squid he is"


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## piperdown (Jul 19, 2009)

ouirknotamuzd said:


> "plop plop fizz fizz, oh,what an annoying squid he is"


:r ooooo, that had me laughing!


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

This one time, at band camp...David_ESM (aka; Squidward)...


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## ouirknotamuzd (Jan 29, 2011)

David_ESM said:


> I just felt since the llamas pride themselves so greatly on bombing their targets in double digits, I should return the favor by bombing a double digit amount of llamas.


and if that day comes and those boxes you have aren't empty and you're not just blowing ink up your ass....I'll take great pride in blasting all three of you annoying little cephalopods into the Bejeezus Belt with just one Herfabomb, because I only need one.


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

Empty!? Shit man. It took me an hour and a half to assemble those boxes, tape all the labels, bubble wrap everything, put my stickers on there... You get the point...


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## ouirknotamuzd (Jan 29, 2011)

Starbuck said:


> You should have contacted me when you started putting this together so we could coordinate something at the same time. I have a feeling with your stack of bombs and mine, we could have put an end to this Zilla Killa gang of little boys.


ok,look...David took some time off from rebuilding his house(which the ZK's blasted into the next zip code,tyvm) to give some words of support to his little firecracker shrimp buddies...Hey,maybe after you all send out your little boxes that go bang....then you can go to the barn and put on a show...that would be super-keen neato:whoo:


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## ouirknotamuzd (Jan 29, 2011)

David_ESM said:


> Empty!? Shit man. It took me an hour and a half to assemble those boxes, tape all the labels, bubble wrap everything, put my stickers on there... You get the point...


was this with or without your intermittent ass-drying breaks?


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

First there are way too many David's on this forum... I am confused everytime I see a name and the message doesn't read to me...

Anyways. It was pretty hot... I may or may not have stood up infront of the air conditioner to dry certain parts... I wish I was kidding...


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## VersionX (Oct 20, 2010)

szyzk said:


> Excelsior!


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

David_ESM said:


> Empty!? Shit man. It took me an hour and a half to assemble those boxes, tape all the labels, bubble wrap everything, put my stickers on there... You get the point...


I know man. The only thing I don't like about bombs is the sheer amount of time it takes!


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

Ron's bombs ship themselves.... oops, wrong thread


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

Thankfully I have one of these:


That cuts down on time for cutting out the shipping labels and cutting out my custom stickers.

But cutting the sheets of bubble wrap and taping the 3 ends of the flat rate box... Not so bad for two or three boxes... 15? Took some serious time.


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## Vicini (Oct 10, 2010)

:bored:

this thread got boring. let me sum it up


> "Blah Blah Blah. I'm trying to take down ZK. Blah Blah Blah."


I don't run scared from a train coming at me and I don't run from the likes of you


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## VersionX (Oct 20, 2010)

Vicini said:


> :bored:
> 
> this thread got boring. let me sum it up
> 
> I don't run scared from a train coming at me and I don't run from the likes of you


WIN.


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## titlowda (Jan 23, 2011)

Aninjaforallseasons said:


> I know man. The only thing I don't like about bombs is the sheer amount of time it takes!


With enough practice you to will be able to knock them out in less than 5 minutes a piece.


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

Vicini said:


> I don't run scared from a train coming at me and I don't run from the likes of you


So what you're saying is you lack common sense and basic survival instincts?

Yeah, we already knew that about llamas. :wink:


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## Vicini (Oct 10, 2010)

David_ESM said:


> So what you're saying is you lack common sense and basic survival instincts?
> 
> Yeah, we already knew that about llamas. :wink:


more like I know that the engineer behind the brakes on said train is more afraid of me.


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

Excellent. Unlike last time it appears that they did not "temporarily" lose any boxes.

8 scheduled for tomorrow, 7 for Friday.


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

Vicini said:


> more like I know that the engineer behind the brakes on said train is more afraid of me.


'Cause who wants to deal with llama guts all over the windshield?


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## Oldmso54 (Jul 31, 2010)

David_ESM said:


> Excellent. Unlike last time it appears that they did not "temporarily" lose any boxes.
> 
> 8 scheduled for tomorrow, 7 for Friday.


you got my props David! 15 bombs from a single guy = PROPS!


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

David_ESM said:


> Excellent. Unlike last time it appears that they did not "temporarily" lose any boxes.
> 
> 8 scheduled for tomorrow, 7 for Friday.


Nice brother... much respect for a mad bomber like yourself.


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## shuckins (Jun 24, 2009)

i think i see a llama!









no not there,over to the left









oops,my bad,it's some kinda horse...


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## Oldmso54 (Jul 31, 2010)

I think thats a camel but who am I to doubbt the all seer SHUCKINS?


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

Whatever it is... Judging by its neck it is very overweight...


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## NoShhhSherlock (Mar 30, 2011)

LOL, funny David. It looks like David the Llama's bombs are starting to hit!


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

shuckins said:


> i think i see a llama!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


2 humped horses have 2 humped poops


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

primetime76 said:


> 2 humped horses have 2 humped poops


Whatever you're in to...


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## E Dogg (Mar 23, 2011)

It's a Llama - Ron's style- loaded with bombs on his back.....And NECK!


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

Should be seeing quite a few injured llamas pop up. Have confirmation of 11 deliveries, 1 notice left and 3 more out for delivery.


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

Please don't mind this bump, I want to have the ability to go back and find these threads if need be in the future, quickly and easily. So linking all the devestation into my one thread.

Kipp: http://www.cigarforums.net/forums/vb/cigar-bombs/296328-shucked-over-but-least-my-ass-dry.html

Christian: http://www.cigarforums.net/forums/vb/cigar-bombs/296335-squid-takes-me-20-000-leagues-under.html

Matt: http://www.cigarforums.net/forums/vb/cigar-bombs/296358-my-box-smells-like-squid.html

Pete: http://www.cigarforums.net/forums/vb/cigar-bombs/296360-blasted-mailbox-ala-calamari.html

Scott: http://www.cigarforums.net/forums/vb/cigar-bombs/296372-evening-isnt-supposed-smell-like-squid.html

Jeff: http://www.cigarforums.net/forums/vb/cigar-bombs/296371-sphincter-dryer-calamari-boy-bomb.html

Eric: http://www.cigarforums.net/forums/vb/cigar-bombs/296375-theres-seafood-air.html


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

Just continuing to keep track for future reference:

Shawn: http://www.cigarforums.net/forums/vb/cigar-bombs/296415-solo-bombed-wsbs-aka-david_esm.html

John: http://www.cigarforums.net/forums/vb/cigar-bombs/296427-wake-up-bomb.html

Dennis: http://www.cigarforums.net/forums/vb/cigar-bombs/296435-i-thought-squids-were-only-good-bait.html

Keith: http://www.cigarforums.net/forums/vb/cigar-bombs/296445-blowdrier-but-bomb.html


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