# (Attempted) MURDER MOST FOUL!!!!



## PaulMac (Jul 15, 2003)

Warning, this is a long post to prevent death by seeing the attached pic without warning!

This little bastid gets more insidious as each day goes by!
Most are aware of Joe's frustration that I will not surrender to him, for I am just keeping a running tally for when I have to opportunity to respond in kind and blow his butt off the map! Daily he asks me to surrender, luckily I don't speak French. He has even hinted that when he is done with me, I will bow down what he calls Italian Supremacy over Scotland (Waits a moment for the laughter to end at this preposterous idea). He doesn't know people of Scottish descent well, thats for sure.
So that brings us to yesterday, many people in the past have asked me for scotch recommendations, for its not a secret I enjoy a dram of the best liquid on earth with some frequency. So I wasn't entirely suspicious when Joe asked me for some advice "for a gift for a retiring doctor" as he put it. Sounded reasonable, and he sent me a link to a place. I told him first off that the place he was looking had laughably outrageous prices, and also, why get something as easy to get as Macallen 30 Yr old Distillery bottling. I said lemme look a couple places, I can prolly find you some really special stuff for far less money, wanna send the doc off right. So i hopped about to a couple sources, and found some really nice stuff and started sending him links...he thought a few sounded really nice, and I said you can't go wrong with any of those three. He said ok, thanks for the help, I'll think about it and make a decision later....

*cue ominous music*

So I'm a little confused when the fed ex guy is strolling up MY walk this morning...and hands me a package that kinda sloshes back and forth as you carry it. I set it down on my bed and contemplated it...then I slowly peeled back the tape and peered inside...thinking maybe he got me something as thanks for the help, Joe's that kinda guy. Inside I see an envelope, I open it and upon reading it I cannot help but gulp and begin to sweat a bit. I am sure many have felt this feeling when a package from Joe arrives. The note was simple, Slainte Mhath Paul! I got you but good! Enjoy Bro! Your Bud - Joe

I slowly lifted off the styrofoam cover and I'll be damned if that little jerk didn't make me pic my own bomb unknowingly! As usual, he went above and beyond! And I still takin notes you wanker!


On the left we have a Duncan Taylor bottling of Bowmore single cask, bottle # 86 of 191 from cask #3307, aged 37 years

In the middle is MacKillops Choice single cask bottling of Glen Albyn 1965 Aged 37 years cask #3834

and on the right, a Duncan Taylor Highland Park single cask, bottle #133 of 180 from cask #4643, aged 37 years

and Joe? I still can't speak French!


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## Mbraud4 (Feb 17, 2006)

Jeez, those drinks have some nice age on em. Enjoy em bro and damn fine hit I must say!


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## DonJefe (Dec 1, 2003)

Wow! Even with that said, never surrender Paul!!


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## t'kay (Jan 30, 2005)

Umm..hi my name is Natty..I like scotch. Can I come over? I'll take off my pants and everything..:dr


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## mike32312 (Jan 26, 2006)

mmmmmmmm liquid Gold. I can think of about 9-10 cigars that would go great with that. Very nice hit. Enjoy bro.:al


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## Dogwatch Dale-cl (Sep 7, 2005)

Aye, laddie, don't be givin' up the fight just yet. It appears that Joe is digging deep into the ancient artillary for some magical weapon. 

This could get really good!o


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## PaulMac (Jul 15, 2003)

One might take note, that for Joe to really try to bring about my death, he sent a product from Scotland....not Italy....Somehow I don't think a box of spaghetti would have been as impressive :bx :r 
There is still fight in the Scotsman yet!


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## joed (Nov 12, 2005)

You are undoubtedly the most stubborm Scotsman that I have ever encountered. 

What is there that you could possibly do to strike back - Joe beat you at every turn. He idea was original. Hwe completely out foxed you with subtle trickery (I mean he solicated your help). And to boot, you admit to being completely surprised all the way to the point after you opened the package.

I don't see how you could do any better than just the same old thing but more of it - that would hardly win anything in a war where you have been so outclassed.

I watched the movie Braveheart - did you - If you remember, in the end, Mel didn't give up, but he did die.

I don't want to loose you from the jungle Paul - we need you here.

Just give it up and let peace reign in the jungle - it's ok to loose once in awhile.


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## PaulMac (Jul 15, 2003)

joed said:


> Just give it up and let peace reign in the jungle - it's ok to loose once in awhile.


No it isn't...and the originality is not taxed out yet


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## joed (Nov 12, 2005)

PaulMac said:


> No it isn't...and the originality is not taxed out yet


If you walk that walk after talking that talk, my hat is off to you!

The jungle awaits with eager anticipation!


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## bonggoy (Mar 9, 2006)

scotch **** :dr :dr :dr


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## illuminatus (Oct 20, 2005)

Wow.. those 3 bottles have a combined age of 5.8 times my own! Crazy! Way to go JoeD! Paul.. well, this should lead to some interesting late night conversations! (oh yeah, mushroomhead is coming to town, I'm gonna try to go!)


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## t'kay (Jan 30, 2005)

Wait? are you sure you sent them to the right place? I mean those bottles look pretty full, if you really sent them to PaulMac they'd be gone right?


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## dayplanner (Dec 11, 1997)

t'kay said:


> Wait? are you sure you sent them to the right place? I mean those bottles look pretty full, if you really sent them to PaulMac they'd be gone right?


Give it a few hours Nats


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## RcktS4 (Jan 13, 2005)

t'kay said:


> Umm..hi my name is Natty..I like scotch. Can I come over? I'll take off my pants and everything..:dr


Natty, you ignorant slut!


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## NCRadioMan (Feb 28, 2005)

Ouch, nice one Joe! This is going to get really good. o 

Enjoy Paul. :al 

:ms NCRM


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## t'kay (Jan 30, 2005)

RcktS4 said:


> Natty, you ignorant slut!


Whatever, you'd take your pants off for some of that too!


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## icehog3 (Feb 20, 2005)

Incredible Bomb Joe!! The Scottish Assassin, assassinated himself!

Paul, I expect that to all be gone by week's end.....

Natty...I have Stoli.


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## dayplanner (Dec 11, 1997)

t'kay said:


> Whatever, you'd take your pants off for some of that too!


Raney wouldn't even need any of the scotch to do that!


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## ResIpsa (Mar 8, 2006)

carbonbased_al said:


> Raney wouldn't even need any of the scotch to do that!


And once again, I hear the music from brokeback mountain queing in the background. Please make it stop.....


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## t'kay (Jan 30, 2005)

icehog3 said:


> Incredible Bomb Joe!! The Scottish Assassin, assassinated himself!
> 
> Paul, I expect that to all be gone by week's end.....
> 
> Natty...I have Stoli.


I believe my words to you were "Vodka is NOT my friend"


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## txmatt (May 22, 2004)

ResIpsa said:


> And once again, I hear the music from brokeback mountain queing in the background. Please make it stop.....


Raney is here, goes with the territory unfortunately..


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## icehog3 (Feb 20, 2005)

t'kay said:


> I believe my words to you were "Vodka is NOT my friend"


No...but I am. ;-)


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## ComicBookFreak (Sep 7, 2005)

Nice hit Joe!!! Enjoy the fine aged scotch:al Paul. And the war continues.........o 

CBF:w


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## t'kay (Jan 30, 2005)

icehog3 said:


> No...but I am. ;-)


True.. that doesn't qualify you for depantsification


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## icehog3 (Feb 20, 2005)

t'kay said:


> True.. that doesn't qualify you for depantsification


I don't need permission to take my own pants off Nat....It's the girls' pants that can be an issue.... LOL


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## ComicBookFreak (Sep 7, 2005)

t'kay said:


> depantsification


Wow nice word, I gotta remember that one. Don't make me depantsificate you!!!!:r

CBF:w


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## RPB67 (Mar 26, 2005)

Those are going to taste great with a cigar.

That is one great vision.


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## txmatt (May 22, 2004)

Ever notice when Nattie brings up her pants the topic totally derails? Guaranteed Instant Topic Trainwreck!


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## SeanGAR (Jul 9, 2004)

Holy moly .....


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## Warhorse545 (Oct 16, 2005)

That is one amazing hit. I am older then those bottle by a year. Wow. 

Well done.



Stacey


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## ResIpsa (Mar 8, 2006)

SeanGAR said:


> Holy moly .....


Batman:r


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## gabebdog1 (Mar 9, 2005)

that little pasty bastiage did it again ... time for plan B see ya at socal...


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## tecnorobo (Mar 29, 2005)

Joe is just a pretty mean guy to you eh paul?


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