# The "Breaking In a New Pipe" Fake Rules Discussion



## Mister Moo (Sep 8, 2005)

Fake Rule: "To properly break in a new pipe you should only smoke bowls filled one-third with a certain kind of tobacco for (I dunno) 20! bowls. And then go to half-filled bowls for... (I dunno) 30! more bowls. And then... do something else."


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## Commander Quan (May 6, 2003)

"Coat the inside of the bowl with grape jelly to build up cake." Everyone knows that rhubarb jelly is the best cake building jelly.


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## Jack Straw (Nov 20, 2008)

To properly break in a new pipe, you must first seek the fresh sap of a pre-war maple, and add to it a lock of virgin maiden's hair and a few albatross feathers, and simmer on low for 3 1/2 hours. Then, and only then, may the bowl be coated with the serum and smoked without fear of burnout (of course after being left to dry out for a week).

Or, alternatively just load a full bowl of your favorite stuff and puff away.


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## Commander Quan (May 6, 2003)

I've got some old growth Maple sap, and I've freshly plucked the tail feathers, but we've been out of virgins here for years.


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## Cpuless (Aug 8, 2009)

I had a virgin around here, but that didn't really last for very long. sadly I forgot to cellar enough of that stuff away for the future.


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## WWhermit (Nov 30, 2008)

Mister Moo said:


> Fake Rule: "To properly break in a new pipe you should only smoke bowls filled one-third with a certain kind of tobacco for (I dunno) 20! bowls. And then go to half-filled bowls for... (I dunno) 30! more bowls. And then... do something else."


Instigator.

WWhermit
ipe:


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## Mister Moo (Sep 8, 2005)

WWhermit said:


> Instigator.
> 
> WWhermit
> ipe:


Well, yeah.


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## Jogi (Dec 4, 2009)

"For best results, just step on it" :loco:


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## Requiem (Dec 6, 2008)

All rules are fake by definition. However, breaking in a pipe with partial smokes will not damage it, quite the contrary.


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## laloin (Jun 29, 2010)

when breaking in a new flake pipe, just stuff it and enjoy.. quit overthinking it heh
troy


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## J. R. Henderson (Oct 30, 2010)

Requiem said:


> All rules are fake by definition. However, breaking in a pipe with partial smokes will not damage it, quite the contrary.


Yeah, that's what's insidious about many of these rules... they may actually be totally unnecessary, but they won't hurt anything, either. So I suspect people will sometimes follow them "just in case."

I didn't know squat about pipes when I started with my briar a couple of weeks ago, so I began smoking full bowls immediately. No ill effects so far, in taste, bowl-cracking, cake buildup or anything else. To be fair, I may have lucked out. Hard to say.


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## Coffee-Cup (Jan 26, 2010)

Dan! This thread is hilarious; I can't stop laughing.:roll: I was laughing so much that my wife came over to see what was up and after reading the entire thread she said to me "isn't that what you did to break-in your new pipes".:nod: I stopped laughing and thought about it and said to myself in a whisper "dang it".:doh:


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## Zeabed (Apr 23, 2009)

In a new pipe, I smoke two half bowlfuls simultaneously. Saves time.


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## tobacmon (May 17, 2007)

Zeabed said:


> In a new pipe, I smoke two half bowlfuls simultaneously. Saves time.


My bad Z--I thought it was 2-1/4 bowls with 1-1/2 bowls simultaneously. Now I know the reason my bowl is lacking some cake........:car:


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## dmkerr (Oct 27, 2008)

To break in a new pipe:

Fill your bowl all the way up with burley tobacco. Light it up. Get in your convertible and hit the highway. When you hit 62.78 mph, hold the pipe out the window until the tobacco is gone. Voila! Perfectly caked pipe, inside and out.


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## Mister Moo (Sep 8, 2005)

Like rules in a street fight there are few hard, certain rules for pipe smoking. I've trued breaking in about every kind of pipe every possible way and here's what not-rules I conclude:

1. many new pipes seem (to me) to smoke wet until they get some cake so I smoke a new pipe full of whatever; if it smokes wet and gurgles a lot I'll commit myself to smoke half bowls which produce a shorter smoke and (ah ha!) less moisture. After a while I forget how much tabak I planned to use and fill it up to the rim again; if it gurgles (again) I use less tabak next time. After a while the pipe gets cakey and almost always smokes dry, sooner or later. I have yet to damage a pipe with a break in.

b. I've mixed all the honey and ash and jelly and cortisone and pizza dough and every other darn thing people say "works!" to help break in a pipe. As far as I can tell, nothing works better than starting with bare wood and whole (or half, if it gurgles too much) bowls, smoking slowly and cleaning out the leftovers before the next round. I don't dismiss what others think about the benefits of pouring gris-gris or bear fat into new pipes but none of it ever impressed me when starting out with a new pipe.

iii. It is possible that there is a true rule about not smoking new, uncaked pipes outdoors and in a breeze but I've never smoked a new pipe in the wind to see if you can really burn it out. I don't much like smoking in the wind anyhow. Maybe that's a not-fake rule. Everybody says it's a real rule but I don't know.

That's all I got.


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## J. R. Henderson (Oct 30, 2010)

What exactly happens when a pipe "burns out"?


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## drastic_quench (Sep 12, 2008)

J. R. Henderson said:


> What exactly happens when a pipe "burns out"?


A spot in the wall will scorch and combust over time until it's basically charcoal. It's very rare, and you can't miss it as your pipe would be very hot to the touch. It seems to be a rare combination of a flawed piece of briar and an over-aggressive smoker.


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## Mister Moo (Sep 8, 2005)

J. R. Henderson said:


> What exactly happens when a pipe "burns out"?


Here it is, exactly:










According to the listing where this photo originally appeared these pipes were owned and smoked by one person. While a flaw in a briar pipe can cause (or exacerbate) a burnout, this guy must have power-packed his pipes, tamped like a pile driver and drawn air like he was suck-starting a Vincent Black Shadow.


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## dmkerr (Oct 27, 2008)

J. R. Henderson said:


> What exactly happens when a pipe "burns out"?


Note the pipe on the far left in Moo's pic. See the nice black spot? As DQ said, it's usually a combo of a flaw in the briar (usually a soft spot within the wood) and an overpuffer.

You'll know if your pipe is burning out. It'll first be extremely hot to the touch and eventually the smoke you're puffing will triple in temperature. Hard to miss. 

About 2 years ago, I found a very hot spot on a new briar. I smoked the pipe until it got too hot, then put it down. Once it cooled, I relit it and repeated the exercise. Eventually I built up enough cake to keep the pipe from burning out. It'll never be one I can sell but at least it's smokable. The cake protects the briar from further scorching.


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## dmkerr (Oct 27, 2008)

Mister Moo said:


> iii. It is possible that there is a true rule about not smoking new, uncaked pipes outdoors and in a breeze but I've never smoked a new pipe in the wind to see if you can really burn it out. I don't much like smoking in the wind anyhow. Maybe that's a not-fake rule. Everybody says it's a real rule but I don't know.
> QUOTE]
> 
> Not-fake rule. Consider the wind/breeze is "helping" you smoke and is doing a pretty quick job of burning the tobacco. It would be akin to overpuffing. Not a good idea on a new uncaked briar. It'll turn your 7-day set into a 6-day set!
> ...


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## Walter MItty (Sep 27, 2009)

J. R. Henderson said:


> What exactly happens when a pipe "burns out"?


It will sit in the corner of the pipe rack dejectedly and refuse to bath, prepare meals, or do any chores. Don't even think of asking it to burn any tobacco for you.

Oh, wait, that's my wife. Sorry, wrong subject...


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## J. R. Henderson (Oct 30, 2010)

The extra care and feeding needed for briars might turn me into a meer fan.

Then again, you can't legitimately pretend to be a wizard unless you're smoking a briar, and they do have their upsides.


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## dmkerr (Oct 27, 2008)

J. R. Henderson said:


> The extra care and feeding needed for briars might turn me into a meer fan.
> 
> Then again, you can't legitimately pretend to be a wizard unless you're smoking a briar, and they do have their upsides.


Once a briar cakes, it really doesn't need any care beyond regular cleaning and can be smoked outdoors in the wind if desired. But getting that cake in there does take some time. I've found that burley tobaccos build cake faster than most styles. Nice robust cake.


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## pomorider (Nov 14, 2009)

When breaking in a new pipe, I like to mix a little gun powder with the tobacco. It will accelerate the caking process.eep:


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## CCFL (Sep 21, 2010)

too funny ound:


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## Reverie Forest (Mar 31, 2009)

Fire hardening - Cleaning your bowl with alcohol is fine and dandy, but the step we're missing is putting a flame to that bowl full of everclear.


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## dmkerr (Oct 27, 2008)

Reverie Forest said:


> Fire hardening - Cleaning your bowl with alcohol is fine and dandy, but the step we're missing is putting a flame to that bowl full of everclear.


Yeah! What's a cake without a candle?


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## Mister Moo (Sep 8, 2005)

Someone is going to get blown up. I hereby disavow this thread now that it has wandered off into flammables and explosives. Whatever happened to the banana pudding and bacon-grease pipe rubs that our forefatheres relied on?


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## lbiislander (Oct 15, 2010)

Banana pudding? Nobody told ME about banana pudding!


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## indigosmoke (Sep 1, 2009)

Mister Moo said:


> Someone is going to get blown up. I hereby disavow this thread now that it has wandered off into flammables and explosives.


Very wise. We can't have something like this happening:


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## Walter MItty (Sep 27, 2009)

And of course a Virgin is always handy for such endeavors. We have plenty of them around here, just none of them female.


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## slyder (Mar 17, 2009)

I cant believe nobody has done the break in with "sticky icky"! It works so good! Get the best quality "smelly green" you can score and pack it on down in that new pipe.....to the brim. Dont bother sorting out the seeds either....leave em in there. When they "pop" it will blow the ash up and will help build cake. Spark it up and burn it all the way to the draft hole. By the time your done with that bowl you wont even care that you destroyed your new pipe. The only thing on your mind will be Cheetos and Ben & Jerrys.


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## indigosmoke (Sep 1, 2009)

slyder said:


> I cant believe nobody has done the break in with "sticky icky"! It works so good! Get the best quality "smelly green" you can score and pack it on down in that new pipe.....to the brim. Dont bother sorting out the seeds either....leave em in there. When they "pop" it will blow the ash up and will help build cake. Spark it up and burn it all the way to the draft hole. By the time your done with that bowl you wont even care that you destroyed your new pipe. The only thing on your mind will be Cheetos and Ben & Jerrys.


ROFLMAO!


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## DeeSkank (May 26, 2010)

slyder said:


> I cant believe nobody has done the break in with "sticky icky"! It works so good! Get the best quality "smelly green" you can score and pack it on down in that new pipe.....to the brim. Dont bother sorting out the seeds either....leave em in there. When they "pop" it will blow the ash up and will help build cake. Spark it up and burn it all the way to the draft hole. By the time your done with that bowl you wont even care that you destroyed your new pipe. The only thing on your mind will be Cheetos and Ben & Jerrys.


:rofl: :r


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## J. R. Henderson (Oct 30, 2010)

Speaking of the green stuff, Proposition 19 (which would have legalized recreational marijuana in California) was rejected recently.

I will always follow the law when it comes to controlled substances, regardless of my personal beliefs concerning various drug ordinances, but it would have been interesting to see a little Californian experiment in legalization.

Personally, I think marijuana as a substance (when you strip away modern society's perception and treatment of it) is of significantly less concern than alcohol when it comes to health and public safety, and is only a "gateway drug" precisely because it's illegal. Being illegal means teens and adults must make contact with illicit dealers, and THAT contact is the real gateway.


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## Mister Moo (Sep 8, 2005)

We're not speaking of the green stuff here if you don't mind. Why not start a pot thread elsewhere?


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## slyder (Mar 17, 2009)

My bad. Guess my post led to that.


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## indigosmoke (Sep 1, 2009)

slyder said:


> My bad. Guess my post led to that.


I can see Moo's point (it's his thread after all and my exploding cow butt pic was probably out of line as well) but I guess I'm guilty too because you did make me laugh. So I'll consider myself properly chastized as well. Sorry Moo-Meister!

:kicknuts:


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## d32 (Jan 26, 2010)

the best way to break in a new pipe in my experience is to pack it full and attach it to a vaccum cleaner. Repeat 5x and the bowl will be properly caked.


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## Jack Straw (Nov 20, 2008)

Mister Moo said:


> We're not speaking of the green stuff here if you don't mind. Why not start a pot thread elsewhere?


Don't have a cow, man.


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## Mister Moo (Sep 8, 2005)

Jack Straw said:


> Don't have a cow, man.


What the hay, Jack? :whoo:

Nobodies bad; I didn't start a pot legislation thread and don't want one here yet I don't mind cow rocket fart hijacks in the least. It isn't like there's predictable logic to it. :hippie:


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## Jack Straw (Nov 20, 2008)

I forgot the smiley - just couldn't resist the opportunity for double entendre. 

But sometimes it is just best to leave these sort of threads out to pasture.


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## slyder (Mar 17, 2009)

a double what the?


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## indigosmoke (Sep 1, 2009)

Dan,

I'm glad you're cool with my occasional silly posts and thread diversions. You're a great BOTL and I respect and appreciate your contributions to this forum and would not want to do anything to upset you in anyway.


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## d_day (Aug 24, 2008)

I've found the best way to build a cake is the following:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour 2 - 8 inch round pans. Sift together the flour, baking powder and salt. Set aside. 
In a large bowl, cream together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in the egg yolks one at a time, then stir in the vanilla. Beat in the flour mixture alternately with the milk, mixing just until incorporated. Pour batter into prepared pans. 
Bake in the preheated oven for 25 to 30 minutes, or until tops spring back when lightly tapped. Cool 15 minutes before turning out onto cooling racks.

Wait...

Whaddya mean _pipe_ cakes?


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## Mad Hatter (Apr 8, 2007)

Pipes don't need cake. Breaking in a new pipe is totally unnecessary because the first bowl smoked in it will be as good as the last


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## indigosmoke (Sep 1, 2009)

Mad Hatter said:


> Pipes don't need cake. Breaking in a new pipe is totally unnecessary because the first bowl smoked in it will be as good as the last


MH glad to see your back. Hope all has been well.


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## Mad Hatter (Apr 8, 2007)

indigosmoke said:


> MH glad to see your back. Hope all has been well.


All is well, just busy as hell with the fiance, the two kids, the new house, school, work and everything else. Thought I'd stop in to see what was up.


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## Mister Moo (Sep 8, 2005)

Mad Hatter said:


> All is well, just busy as hell with the fiance, the two kids, the new house, school, work and everything else. Thought I'd stop in to see what was up.


Jeepers, M'atter - I was a'scared you had fallen into real life and couldn't get out! Where better to return than a fake cake advice column? Real life can be so.................

time consuming.

:couch2:


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## Mister Moo (Sep 8, 2005)

indigosmoke said:


> Dan,...would not want ... to upset you...


Pretty unlikely.

Yours truly,

Mister "Haven't been riled since the invention of Percocet" Moo


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## J. R. Henderson (Oct 30, 2010)

Moo, I apologize for going off on that inadvisable tangent. Sometimes my sense for what is and isn't appropriate in a given thread can be a bit off.

In any case, the main topic is far more interesting to me personally. Being totally new to pipe smoking, I enjoy seeing myths debunked (or confirmed).


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## Mad Hatter (Apr 8, 2007)

Mister Moo said:


> Jeepers, M'atter - I was a'scared you had fallen into real life and couldn't get out! Where better to return than a fake cake advice column? Real life can be so.................
> 
> time consuming.
> 
> :couch2:


Yessir, that's pretty much what has happened. Too much stuff and not enough of me to go around


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## dmkerr (Oct 27, 2008)

Mad Hatter said:


> Yessir, that's pretty much what has happened. Too much stuff and not enough of me to go around


Life's rough when you're in demand, eh? :biggrin:

Welcome back!


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## Mister Moo (Sep 8, 2005)

J. R. Henderson said:


> Moo, I apologize for going off on that inadvisable tangent...


I hate anything that takes away from fake pipe rules. :caked:

Personally, I would never digress or go off topic in a thread. :biglaugh:


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## Mad Hatter (Apr 8, 2007)

dmkerr said:


> Life's rough when you're in demand, eh? :biggrin:
> 
> Welcome back!


So very, very true


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