# An Ode to a bomb



## jphank (Apr 29, 2012)

Give us a bomb, you're the mad bomber,
Give us a bomb tonight.
'Cause we're all in the mood for some destruction,
and probably will be for life!

Gianna at the bar, she's a friend of mine,
She gives me my nuts for free;
and there's *Rob who's still in the Navy*, 
and probably will be for life!

9405 5036 9930 0211 5176 17


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## android (Feb 27, 2012)

boom time!


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## sweater88 (Jul 31, 2011)

ruh ro Rob


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## xSentinelx (Aug 16, 2012)

Hope rob lives in a submarine.

opcorn:opcorn:opcorn:


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## cigargirlie (Jul 18, 2012)

Lmao....Get'em Jessica!!!


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## CigarShop (Oct 16, 2012)

Just stopping in, I have a poem also:

Beware of the ladies who send cigars,
Always buy them a drink at the bars.
But then they ran into this new group,
And blew there asses up the stoop.
So now they just sit in there room,
Hoping there's just no more boom.

Pete


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## hachigo (Feb 14, 2012)

Wait, so who's this going to???

Can't wait to see this one hit.


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## cigargirlie (Jul 18, 2012)

CigarShop said:


> Just stopping in, I have a poem also:
> 
> Beware of the ladies who send cigars,
> Always buy them a drink at the bars.
> ...











:biglaugh:
Omg I have to thank Butt dryer for creating this meme for me lol


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## jphank (Apr 29, 2012)

hachigo said:


> Wait, so who's this going to???


Some land-locked sailor should be having some fun with cleaning up his porch Monday or Tuesday


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## ouirknotamuzd (Jan 29, 2011)

xSentinelx said:


> Hope rob lives in a submarine.
> 
> opcorn:opcorn:opcorn:


a Yellow Submarine?:biglaugh:


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

Bye bye, Rob!


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## Cypress (Jun 27, 2007)

Love both of the poems here


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## jphank (Apr 29, 2012)

The best part is he will NOT see this coming!!


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## Desertlifter (Feb 22, 2011)

i have a poem too:

somebody is so screwed
seriously, he/she is screwed
screwed like....super bad
screwed

like it? it's my tribute to e.e. cummings.


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## Phil from Chicago (May 6, 2012)




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## jphank (Apr 29, 2012)

Well this one took a truck to San Diego last night -- when it should have been heading west, first! Gotta love how USPS routes Priority mail!


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## DarrelMorris (Feb 7, 2012)

I can't wait to see this land. Go get him Jessica.


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## NavyPiper (Sep 24, 2012)

When I fist read this, I thought "hey neat poem, pretty dang good & funny"! Then wondered who the victim is... Now I just received my first profile visitor msg, which has made me now very concerned... After re-reading this tread a few times, I'm pretty sure I need to be afraid! Lol! I think I need to reinforce the house, grab the family and my kilts & pipes and run for cover just to be safe...

and just to let y'all know, I'm almost at the magic number of 100 posts. Just sayin'...

Doc


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## V-ret (Jun 25, 2012)

Lol, I was nervous for a second there, I got a pretty good feeling on where this is headed. If I'm right I gotta tape up my windows because the blast won't be very far away from me. 

Edit:

Would you just look at who popped their head in here up above me


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## NavyPiper (Sep 24, 2012)

Well the private msg kinda alerted me shipmate. Lol

Doc


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## V-ret (Jun 25, 2012)

NavyPiper said:


> Well the private msg kinda alerted me shipmate. Lol
> 
> Doc


Yeah I guess that would be a pretty big hint, huh? :gossip:_ Don't worry Doc I got your back with this one._


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## jphank (Apr 29, 2012)

V-ret said:


> Yeah I guess that would be a pretty big hint, huh? :gossip:_ Don't worry Doc I got your back with this one._


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## NavyPiper (Sep 24, 2012)

V-ret: "Don't worry Doc I got your back with this one."

I appreciate that shipmate. Maybe I should make sure my trauma bag is good to go! After reading some of the threads about this young ladies abilities to create mass devastation, I'm getting more & more worried! One of the little voices in my head is saying "Doc, don't sweat it dude, it aint you, it's just a red herring diversion for someone else, and the other little voice is saying "Dude, you are seriously in screwed & in danger"!:fear: So a quick reaction force might be a good idea me thinks...

Anybody seen my kevlar & field gear? I think it may be needed, along with the trauma bag! LOL! Well, after all I've lived through, I can handle this, right? Right?! Maybe I'll start fillin' sandbags just in case...LOLeep:

Oh and if anyone is counting, I'm at 99 posts. One more to go to the magic 100! WooHoo!:banana:

Doc


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## V-ret (Jun 25, 2012)

Trust me Doc you are going to need all the help you can get with this one. Tomorrow I will launch out an interceptor that will hopefully blow up her bomb before it gets to you, but I fear she has connections in the postal service.

I also fear that you underestimate Jessica, sandbags will not be enough if I can't intercept this package!


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## jphank (Apr 29, 2012)

No where to run to, Navy!

No where to hide, Navy!


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## V-ret (Jun 25, 2012)

Jess, the good news is I leave for the back woods of North Carolina on Tuesday so if you want you can try and find me. But I lived there for 22 years and know all the hiding spots. 

The bad news is this leaves Doc an open target. I'll be leaving my stash at a good friends house. If there is any funny business going on while I'm gone I'll have him pack up the best ordnance I have!


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## exprime8 (May 16, 2011)

Jessica. Jessica. Jessica... picking on Nevadans??? :tsk: This one is a little too close to home, might have to do something about this. Hey Rob, I see Jeremy has your back, but if you feel like you need more help, just let me know!!!


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## jphank (Apr 29, 2012)

I'm not picking on Nevada, I'm picking on the land-lubbin' Sailors!


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## V-ret (Jun 25, 2012)

jphank said:


> I'm picking on the land-lubbin' Sailors!


That made me laugh


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## jphank (Apr 29, 2012)

V-ret said:


> That made me laugh


That's half the fun


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## cigargirlie (Jul 18, 2012)

:cheer2: GO JESSICA!!! :cheer2:


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## NavyPiper (Sep 24, 2012)

LOL! I can run, but I can't hide eh??!! mg:

I'm dead meat huh?:rip: Reality is sinking in...I wonder if I'll survive...

Jeremy I'm counting on ya bro to send out the 18D's lane:, but if them airdales miss, I'm toast, Kapeesh? And I appreciate the back up as well experime8 :thumb:. The Silver State support squad to the rescue! LOL!

But I think I'm in good shape, sandbags filled, kevlar on the family, and if necessary, ready to repel boarders. eep::behindsofa::gn:fencing:

Hey! Guess what??!! I just hit the mighty *100 posts*! WooHoo! Party Time!!!!:::drinking::twisted::dude::whoo::banana: I'm SO stoked! *Baldy Claus* will be unleashed! WooHoo!

Have a great evening Yall, this has been a whole lot of FUN!!!

Doc


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## V-ret (Jun 25, 2012)

Baldy Claus! Best thing I have heard all day, RG for you


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## NavyPiper (Sep 24, 2012)

Thx shipmate!

Ok whats the deal??!! I hit the big hundred, but can't see any addresses. Is it a delayed reaction time kinda thing?

Yes patience still isn't my strongest virtue!LOL

Doc


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## jphank (Apr 29, 2012)

It's 90 days *and* 100 posts


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## jphank (Apr 29, 2012)

For what it's worth, my son loves the Navy. He's debating a career with his science-minded brain. So I have to get my pickin's in now before he really makes that decision 

That's my boy, helping Navy vets hang their colors at our Vets Home.


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## NavyPiper (Sep 24, 2012)

Noooooooooooooooooo! I gotta wait til Christmas Eve??!!!

What will Baldy Claus do now???? That's ok BC, practice breathing exercises, enhance my calm, it'll be ok. Deal with one thing at a time. I may be under attack. Use this time (another bloody month!) to prepare. That's it, prepare. 

I will live my motto: Semper Gumby- Always Flexible.

It's a GREAT DAY!

Doc


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## NavyPiper (Sep 24, 2012)

Ya know JP, if I may have the liberty ma'am, of addressing you in this way, there is a GREAT Navy program for sharp young men as your son. It's the closest thing to being in the Navy without the 6 year Committment.

If you're interested, let me know and I can give you the details.

Doc


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## jphank (Apr 29, 2012)

JROTC? There's none in our neck of the woods, yet. He's looking into it, though 

And yes, take your bloody month to prepare! Muahahaha!


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## NavyPiper (Sep 24, 2012)

Great! Thank you ma'am. And yes, I WILL prepare- that is after I dig out of the rubble!lol!

No not any of the high school jr ROTC's. those are actually school programs that affiliate with a particular military branch...

What I'm talking about are the US Navy Sea Cadets. It's the official Navy youth program. For young folks 10-18. Cadets wear the same uniforms as regular USN, and drill a weekend a month and two weeks in the summer. Almost like a jr navy reserve program. They go to a 2 week bootcamp first summer and then subsequent training cycles (Christmas & summer vacations) attend two week trainings in almost all the job fields in the sea services: USN, USMC, USCG). They make rank like the navy and earn awards n decorations as well. Can also do deployments at sea for up to two weeks. And they take the same correspondence courses as regular USN, and if they join they don't have to take them again!

It's Really amazing program! The reason I know about it is I command all navy youth programs in Nevada, except for Las Vegas. Might well be worth checking out! If you would like more info, gimme a shout.

Doc


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## jphank (Apr 29, 2012)

Thanks! i wil show it to the kid!


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## NavyPiper (Sep 24, 2012)

You're welcome. Have a great night! Rack time!

Doc


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## jphank (Apr 29, 2012)

Out for Delivery
November 26, 2012, 9: 22 am


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## NavyPiper (Sep 24, 2012)

Sweater88: "ruh ro Rob"

I am afraid "ruh ro Rob" is right! This AINT gonna be good! Hunker down folks we got incoming! Shake, rattle, & roll time! 

Doc


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## imported_john_smith (Nov 19, 2012)

Well be interested to see this.....


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## V-ret (Jun 25, 2012)

Oh No! I'm too late. Plan A has failed, But there is always a plan B.

0312 0090 0001 8836 7198

This should teach you not to mess with Land-Lubbin' Sailors!


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## jphank (Apr 29, 2012)

V-ret said:


> Oh No! I'm too late. Plan A has failed, But there is always a plan B.
> 
> 0312 0090 0001 8836 7198
> 
> This should teach you not to mess with Land-Lubbin' Sailors!


I'ma go hide at Hannibal's bunker!


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## cigargirlie (Jul 18, 2012)

jphank said:


> I'ma go hide at Hannibal's bunker!


Ha!!! Like hiding in a cannibal bunker is a smart idea!!!


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## jphank (Apr 29, 2012)

cigargirlie said:


> Ha!!! Like hiding in a cannibal bunker is a smart idea!!!


Just remember, fat people are harder to kidnap!


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## Desertlifter (Feb 22, 2011)

jphank said:


> Just remember, fat people are harder to kidnap!


Yah, but they're self-basting.


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## jphank (Apr 29, 2012)

I think I killed the newb!


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## cigargirlie (Jul 18, 2012)

jphank said:


> I think I killed the newb!


Well done Jessica!!! :cheer2: :cheer2:

I knew there was a reason why I liked you so much!!! *hugs lol


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## cigargirlie (Jul 18, 2012)

jphank said:


> Just remember, fat people are harder to kidnap!


 It is all relative. Kidnapping is such a nasty term. Luring you into his bunker with great booze and fine tobacco is his method to his madness


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## jphank (Apr 29, 2012)

Yep, I think I killed the Doc, on accident, I assure you!!


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## NavyPiper (Sep 24, 2012)

Oh I assure you lads & lassies, the report of my demise is greatly exaggerated! However, these bandages make it quite difficult to type and compose... I need a few more minutes. Please stand by...
The highly tore up, smoking (literally), heavily bandaged, limping, bleeding, gasping for every painful breath,

Doc


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## lostdog13 (Jan 16, 2012)

jphank said:


> I'ma go hide at Hannibal's bunker!


Sweet! Then I only have to send out one package to get the both of yas


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## NavyPiper (Sep 24, 2012)

*(Carson City, BG News Service)* It was reported today that a large tactical device of unknown yield was detonated in Carson City yesterday, scaring little old ladies, making old men pass gas, causing preppers to thing the end of civilization just began, and sending dogs, cats, and unidentified Gerbils scurrying for cover. Sources state that the blast was centered in a residential part of town, and the shockwave and ensuing mushroom cloud was felt and seen as far away as Reno, also setting off alarms at NORAD. Again, sources speaking under the condition of anonymity stated that the blast occurred in the midafternoon, and experts believe it was in possibly in a mailbox, as objects flying through the air were later identified by forensic experts as "shrapnel debris- possibly light sheet metal, probably a standard mailbox".

A Family member who was willing to be interviewed despite her scorched hair and being covered in soot & ashes, told BG News Service that "It was crazy, just absolutely crazy! The mail man drove by as he delivered the mail like he does every day, then BOOM, everything went crazy! The mailbox just disappeared in the explosion! Dust was everywhere! It sent the dogs & cats running under the beds, and all the neighbors went nuts and are still giving us the 'stink eye'! All the leaves were blown off the trees, and I spilled my drink. It was absolutely unreal!" As agencies investigate the site of the blast and sift for evidence, the family has been moved to an undisclosed location for their safety as well as to heal from wounds suffered in the devastation while their residence is repaired and decontaminated.

At this time, no one has contacted authorities claiming responsibility for the blast, but investigators have disclosed that blasts such as this have occurred at random intervals across the country, and forensic clues & evidence seems to indicate that it belongs to possibly a person who may go by the initials 'jp', however, the name is not known on any of the intelligence services databases, but persons who have knowledge of this are asked to contact authorities.

After about 45 minutes into the search, experts onsite believe they had discovered the epicenter and source of the blast. Exclusive photos obtained by BG News Service:



























Late that evening, it was reported that a lone bagpiper, silhouetted by what street lights that still worked played softly in the background, as if in tribute to all parties involved...

Stay tuned to *BG (Bald Guy) News Service* for further developments.

It's not very often that I can say "Ya got me good", but Miss 'JP' "Ya got me waaay good!" And _that _is the understatement of the decade! mg: I mean a: 
Nica Libre
My Father
Diesel UHC (the only one I've tried before- totally awesome!)
RP Decade
AF Hemingway Maduro
Ron Stacy Signature
H. Upmann (ISOM)
Cohiba (ISOM)

I mean really??!!! I am totally trashed, humbled, and my head is both bloody & bowed at you're awesomeness! I have been stalked, spanked, taken to school, and educated big time in the art of bombing! :spank: :hail: :hail: :yield:

You have my sincere gratitude & thanks young lady, and am truly honored to be Blessed by you!

You didn't 'kill' the noob, but you came bloody close and my kilt may never fit right again!

With sincere thanks!

Doc

PS- Don't worry, most of the smoldering parts on my clothes are pretty much out...


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## Ozzy (Nov 16, 2012)

Very nice hit!


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## jphank (Apr 29, 2012)

you are very welcome. Welcome to Puff!! Sorry i couldn't smash more of your wish list


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## Phil from Chicago (May 6, 2012)

Jessica that was a beautiful bomb... just in time to as your about to be blown up


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## NavyPiper (Sep 24, 2012)

Thanks JP! I'm totally blown away by your kindness and welcome! "smash more of your wish list"- what do ya mean?! You bloody annihilated it! LOL And I'm honored and touched that you thought of me. But it looks like Phil from Chicago is about to unload on ya... Ol' Baldy Claus is still restricted until Christmas Eve, so it'll be a few more weeks before I can partake in retribuition...or is that retaliation?? Hmmm....

Have a great day! It's soggy here watching the rain come down and wondering when the snow will start.

Doc


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## jphank (Apr 29, 2012)

Oh, V-Ret, Phil from Chicago, and Avitti are all smacking me today and tomorrow! I can't run and hide because if I went outside the wind would blow me to Carson City! LOL

I'm sure once Baldy Claus is turned loose, we're all going to want to hide until next Christmas!


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