# I've never asked to be bombed but....



## Scott W. (Jul 10, 2008)

Please, someone bomb me a a gun and a hollow point bullet! We are prepping a few things for thanksgiving tomorrow and my mother in law and sister in law showed up to "help". Now they, along with my wife are in the kitchen talking about how they get when they get their periods and what it was like giving birth, etc. I need to ****ing shoot myself! I ran out of rat poison so I can't eat that, I don't want to drown myself in the lake because its too cold and I don't want to watch myself bleed to death from slit wrists so PLEASE send me a gun, a bullet and a self addressed stamped envelope, I'll make sure someone returns the gun to you.


PLEASE!!!!!


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## [OT] Loki (May 24, 2006)

will ball ammo work?


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## Mante (Dec 25, 2009)

Bahahahahaaaaaaaaaa. Just sit & listen to the "secret women's business" Scott. That should make your ears bleed enough that you may just bleed out. On second thoughts I would not wish such a slow painful death on anyone, least of all you. Fall on your biggest kitchen knife. Sort of like a champion knight falling on his sword out of honour.


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## Scott W. (Jul 10, 2008)

[OT] Loki said:


> will ball ammo work?


As long as its lethal. I don't want to walk away from this.

Warren, they are using all my good knives! Dammit!


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## V-ret (Jun 25, 2012)

These are the best conversations to jump into. When they are talking about giving birth, you mention the size of your last turd and how you swear it was so big that it tickled your prostate on the way out.

They want to talk about periods and emotions, you talk about blue balls and pain.

Happy Thanksgiving! Looks like you are in for a long night!


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## Stradawhovious (Oct 17, 2012)

[OT] Loki said:


> will ball ammo work?


Two holes bleed better than one.

It's all about shot placement.


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## Mante (Dec 25, 2009)

scottw said:


> As long as its lethal. I don't want to walk away from this.
> 
> Warren, they are using all my good knives! Dammit!


LOL. They did not even leave you that option? That is cruel right there.


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## Scott W. (Jul 10, 2008)

First Magnum bottle of Cabernet has just been opened, now I have to find a straw.


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## Stradawhovious (Oct 17, 2012)

scottw said:


> First Magnum bottle of Cabernet has just been opened, now I have to find a straw.


**** the straw, grab a funnel. That's how I do it around family.

Breathe deep.... It will all be over soon.

Well eventually anyways.

Better yet, get really drunk, shit yourself and get waaaaaaaaayyyyyy too close to the relatives. I bet you never have this problem again.

Ask me how I know.


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## Reino (Sep 13, 2010)

BANG!!! Your dead.
Cool?


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## Scott W. (Jul 10, 2008)

Now they all went outside with their coffee and the friggin dog is barking like a sumbitch god forbid they cleanup.


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## Oldmso54 (Jul 31, 2010)

Scott I feel your pain bro - I really do... but sorry my friend, I don't own a gun... well at least not one that shoots - LOL


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## cigargirlie (Jul 18, 2012)

F$&& the wine grab the Four Loko and talk about Gianna Michaels!!!! Good girl!!!:biglaugh: :biglaugh::biglaugh: :biglaugh::biglaugh: :biglaugh::biglaugh: :biglaugh::biglaugh: :biglaugh:


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## Scott W. (Jul 10, 2008)

cigargirlie said:


> F$&& the wine grab the Four Loko and talk about Gianna Michaels!!!! Good girl!!!:biglaugh: :biglaugh::biglaugh: :biglaugh::biglaugh: :biglaugh::biglaugh: :biglaugh::biglaugh: :biglaugh:


Great girl


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## cigargirlie (Jul 18, 2012)

scottw said:


> View attachment 41668
> Now they all went outside with their coffee and the friggin dog is barking like a sumbitch god forbid they cleanup.


Damn that's still one clean looking kitchen.


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## Scott W. (Jul 10, 2008)

Oldmso54 said:


> Scott I feel your pain bro - I really do... but sorry my friend, I don't own a gun... well at least not one that shoots - LOL


I don't want one that shoots blanks


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## cigargirlie (Jul 18, 2012)

Pfft Just drink 5 four loko with energy drinks. Talk about Gianna Micheals in front of the women folk and they will kill you off quick. Win win!!! Lol


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## Scott W. (Jul 10, 2008)

A least I'll die with a hardon and a smile on my face ( no offense to anyone)


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## kapathy (Nov 20, 2010)

throw the dog a bone (or save it from them) and lock them out..... by this point I'm going to guess the 4loco will have you dancing in front of the locked door pointing and laughing.


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## cigargirlie (Jul 18, 2012)

kapathy said:


> throw the dog a bone (or save it from them) and lock them out..... by this point I'm going to guess the 4loco will have you dancing in front of the locked door pointing and laughing.


Good one Kevin!!! :biglaugh:


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## Scott W. (Jul 10, 2008)

kapathy said:


> throw the dog a bone (or save it from them) and lock them out..... by this point I'm going to guess the 4loco will have you dancing in front of the locked door pointing and laughing.


Most likely...or me pulling a Jim from American Pie on the Turkey.


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## [OT] Loki (May 24, 2006)

thank god i hate my inlaws and my wife doesn't drive


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## Scott W. (Jul 10, 2008)

Well, I hate my in laws and my wife can't drive for shit but she does anyway


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## ouirknotamuzd (Jan 29, 2011)

cigargirlie said:


> F$&& the wine grab the Four Loko and talk about Gianna Michaels!!!! Good girl!!!:biglaugh: :biglaugh::biglaugh: :biglaugh::biglaugh: :biglaugh::biglaugh: :biglaugh::biglaugh: :biglaugh:


Pinhead Jr.; "Holy Crap..Future Mom knows who Gianna Michaels is....she's like the most awesome future mom ever!!!!!"

Herfabomber: "Junior, this not about Blondie or Gianna Michaels...Scott has a serious ovarian home invasion problem and needs some Dude support."

Pinhead Jr.: "yer right, Pops.....sorry 'bout the home invasion, Scott...have you thought about going to a titty bar?"

Herfabomber: "I was thinking more of a man cave, Junior."

Pinhead Jr.: "are there titties there?...I'm in."


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## Andrewdk (Feb 3, 2011)

You''re not making proper use of the wife repellent. Secure whiskey and beers, stinkiest cigar or pipe and head outside to consume. It works 9/19 times. If you can smoke inside all the better


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## Scott W. (Jul 10, 2008)

ouirknotamuzd said:


> Pinhead Jr.; "Holy Crap..Future Mom knows who Gianna Michaels is....she's like the most awesome future mom ever!!!!!"
> 
> Herfabomber: "Junior, this not about Blondie or Gianna Michaels...Scott has a serious ovarian home invasion problem and needs some Dude support."
> 
> ...


Pete, I drew some areolas on a couple of water balloons and it didn't help, closest ill come to a tittle bar tonight.....Sadly


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## Johnpaul (Aug 15, 2011)

Here we go again with some ass hat begging to be bombed. What the hell Scott? You have been around long enough you should know better. First the boat dock and now this. You seem to be spiraling out of control. Shame on you.


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## cigargirlie (Jul 18, 2012)

scottw said:


> Pete, I drew some areolas on a couple of water balloons and it didn't help, closest ill come to a tittle bar tonight.....Sadly


Ummm correction..... You have the turkey breast!!! Ha ha

Pop the pipe in, pour da four loko and turn on the soul train music and start pimpdaddying it in your abode!! Lol

Oh and turn on vherf so we can laugh lol


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## cigargirlie (Jul 18, 2012)

Johnpaul said:


> Here we go again with some ass hat begging to be bombed. What the hell Scott? You have been around long enough you should know better. First the boat dock and now this. You seem to be spiraling out of control. Shame on you.


Oooooo snap!! Yes JP is right about the boat dock


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## Scott W. (Jul 10, 2008)

cigargirlie said:


> Ummm correction..... You have the turkey breast!!! Ha ha
> 
> Pop the pipe in, pour da four loko and turn on the soul train music and start pimpdaddying it in your abode!! Lol
> 
> Oh and turn on vherf so we can laugh lol


Salmonella, no good.

JP, wait until spring when I'm diving naked off that dock, I'll email you pics. No, that's not a Loch Ness monster bro.


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## Johnpaul (Aug 15, 2011)

scottw said:


> JP, wait until spring when I'm diving naked off that dock, I'll email you pics. No, that's not a Loch Ness monster bro.


So your saying that you can't afford that camera with the macro lens until the spring?


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## cigargirlie (Jul 18, 2012)

Johnpaul said:


> So your saying that you can't afford that camera with the macro lens until the spring?


Muahhhhhhaaaaaaa ^5 JP :biglaugh:


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## Scott W. (Jul 10, 2008)

You suck JP


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## Mante (Dec 25, 2009)

scottw said:


> You suck JP


Hahahaaaaahaaaaa! I love it guys and girls. ound: You must admit he got you good Scott.  :biggrin:


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## Scott W. (Jul 10, 2008)

Tashaz said:


> Hahahaaaaahaaaaa! I love it guys and girls. ound: You must admit he got you good Scott.  :biggrin:


He still sucks though Warren.


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## Johnpaul (Aug 15, 2011)

scottw said:


> He still sucks though Warren.


Yes I do but only nips and never tips.


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