# Are you the newest newb...?



## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

I need someone so new the don't even have anything to put cigars in... someone that goes to the local store every time he/she wants a cigar... someone who thinks the "devil site" must be a place satan worshipers go to read up on how conduct their perverse rituals. I want a newbie so green they makes fresh-mowed lawns and pine trees jealous.

Are you that young, newbie chimp with nothing to your name except a butted out macanudo that you are saving the other half for a "special occasion"?

Hit me up... 

Tell me what makes you in need of a care package... pull my heartstrings, jerk a tear, weave a tale... anything. Just let me know why you're the one. 

You have until 5pm tomorrow, Thursday the 25th. There will be one winner and one runner up.

Begin. :tu


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## daniyal (Oct 9, 2007)

DBall said:


> I need someone so new the don't even have anything to put cigars in... someone that goes to the local store every time he/she wants a cigar... someone who thinks the "devil site" must be a place satan worshipers go to read up on how conduct their perverse rituals. I want a newbie so green they makes fresh-mowed lawns and pine trees jealous.
> 
> Are you that young, newbie chimp with nothing to your name except a butted out macanudo that you are saving the other half for a "special occasion"?
> 
> ...


I'm not all that green but care packages are always nice :tu


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## Smoked (Apr 12, 2007)

Nice!:tu


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## dooge (Oct 7, 2007)

I can safely say that I am the greenest of all. First off, I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about when you mention "Devil Site". In fact, when I googled it I came up with the answers that you said it wasn't. Second, I am that person who runs out to the local "store" to buy his cigars, even if that store happens to be a gas station and only has a selection of 3 cigars. I live in the biggest gambling city in all of the USA and have no idea where to buy a decently priced cigar, or a place that won't rip me off cos they happen to be a casino. 

I do, however, own a humidor which I managed to scrounge off someone who gave up the leaf but I have no idea how to make the thing stay at a steady 65-70% humidity level despite reading roughly 18 websites that provide different ways on how to do this. 

I hope this fits the bill that you are looking for.

Dooge


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## Smoked (Apr 12, 2007)

dooge said:


> I can safely say that I am the greenest of all. First off, I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about when you mention "Devil Site". In fact, when I googled it I came up with the answers that you said it wasn't. Second, I am that person who runs out to the local "store" to buy his cigars, even if that store happens to be a gas station and only has a selection of 3 cigars. I live in the biggest gambling city in all of the USA and have no idea where to buy a decently priced cigar, or a place that won't rip me off cos they happen to be a casino.
> 
> I do, however, own a humidor which I managed to scrounge off someone who gave up the leaf but I have no idea how to make the thing stay at a steady 65-70% humidity level despite reading roughly 18 websites that provide different ways on how to do this.
> 
> ...


Welcome to the jungle. In about 2 months you will have spent half of every paycheck on cigars and they will all be stored in a cooler. Yes, I have ESP.


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## Sanitariumite (Sep 14, 2007)

Smoked said:


> Welcome to the jungle. In about 2 months you will have spent half of every paycheck on cigars and they will all be stored in a cooler. Yes, I have ESP.


Half? I wish...


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## rx2010 (Jan 4, 2007)

I think it took me 4 months for a cooler... but I also bought 2 humis before that... what a fool I was


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## dooge (Oct 7, 2007)

Smoked said:


> Welcome to the jungle. In about 2 months you will have spent half of every paycheck on cigars and they will all be stored in a cooler. Yes, I have ESP.


Also, I'll also mention that I'm not really sure what you mean by "stored in a cooler".


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## rx2010 (Jan 4, 2007)

he means what he says, a cooler, mine is a 48qt "cube" by igloo

keep reading, you'll learn

hint: you're up late, probably don't have any pressing matters. take all the words you don't quite get yet, and plug them into the search function. You'll learn a lot


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## gary106334 (Sep 28, 2006)

rx2010 said:


> I think it took me 4 months for a cooler... but I also bought 2 humis before that... what a fool I was


Most of us did exactly that my friend. You are definitely not alone.


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## RaiderinKS (May 10, 2007)

DBJr, I would say something witty here, but I haven't got the energy for it. Nice contest.


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## dooge (Oct 7, 2007)

rx2010 said:


> he means what he says, a cooler, mine is a 48qt "cube" by igloo
> 
> keep reading, you'll learn
> 
> hint: you're up late, probably don't have any pressing matters. take all the words you don't quite get yet, and plug them into the search function. You'll learn a lot


I had a feeling that's what he meant, but I'm not one to jump to conclusions when it comes to this little hobby.

Thanks for your response, none the less


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## Sanitariumite (Sep 14, 2007)

rx2010 said:


> I think it took me 4 months for a cooler... but I also bought 2 humis before that... what a fool I was


I'm on #2 right now, and I'm starting to see a pattern...


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## dayplanner (Dec 11, 1997)

I have no clue what a good cigar is , As a matter of fact I used to smoke an ounce a week ( 5 years ago ) of sticky green shmeeze , Instead of rolling paper i used to roll in Phillies Blunts , Well I went to my dads house in NY and instead of buying $1 Cigars ,I would go into his Closet and pull a Cuban out Break it and use it for paper .
Now Im married , I also have a daughter ..... My wife drives me insane and i could use a good cigar .
I'll do whatever it takes i deserve to be your pick ! 
I dont know what BOTL is i dont know 90% of what you guys talk about in cigar language .

Now i am just a bumb , Gambler , Pipe Seller , And i have just learned that a good cigar is almost as good as sex .
Also regret 6 Years ago at my dads house , I had no clue what i was doing ....

Ummmm , if you pick me and i win . Send half to that guy that was sending Cigars to the troops in my name .
PM me if you accept bribes .

Cheers , 
Yossi G


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## daniyal (Oct 9, 2007)

dooge said:


> Also, I'll also mention that I'm not really sure what you mean by "stored in a cooler".


I've managed to steer clear of a cooler thus far. I store them at my cigar club which I think is the safest method for me to age my smokes. I just don't trust myself with them yes yes I am a cigar whore. Best of all in case your precious sticks get damaged due to over humidification, tobacco beetles, whatever they replace them free of charge!! Now THAT's customer service :tu


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## sean373 (Sep 21, 2007)

well i figured this would be a good thread to make me first post in. I recently started trying cigars last month after buying a cheap bundle to pass around at a freinds wedding. New cuba i think they were called. Basically they sucked, but it left me wondering if the high priced cigars tasted any better. so the next weekend i went to the ciggarette store and paced around in front of the 8 boxes they have under the counter. It was a tough choice, but it ended up taking home an onyx reserve. that night i sat out on the porch with my new stogie and suddenly realized i didnt have anything to cut it with ! I ended up using a mechanical pencil to put a hole in the end (took the lead out first)and lit it up. an hour and a half or so later i felt relaxed and glad i decided to give this a try. i really enjoyed that onyx, and have since tried a few other brands ( mostly cusano since thats what the ciggy store has)/ some are good, some are not, but regardless it gives me an hour or two of quiet and relaxing me time. its well worth the cost in my eyes. unfortanatly i dont have alot of extra cash or free time to experiment with, but i am taking baby steps. at least i picked up a cutter and a torch lighter from the gas station. my next step is to try going to an actually cigar store and pick up a few more brands to try out. so thats my lame story. it may not win me anything, but i have pretty bad luck so i dont expect to


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## Silky01 (Jul 16, 2007)

rx2010 said:


> he means what he says, a cooler, mine is a 48qt "cube" by igloo
> 
> keep reading, you'll learn
> 
> hint: you're up late, probably don't have any pressing matters. take all the words you don't quite get yet, and plug them into the search function. You'll learn a lot


I was stupid enough to buy a small cooler the first go round; yeah, that lasted maybe a month.


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## FriendlyFire (Jun 11, 2007)

Nice, 

I'm so new that I can't part with my sticks. I have 112 Cigars and I still buy one if I want to smoke.


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

FriendlyFire said:


> Nice,
> 
> I'm so new that I can't part with my sticks. I have 112 Cigars and I still buy one if I want to smoke.


Hahaha... you can't play Jack, you post whore!!!!!!!!

:ss

I should've mentioned you need less than 1000 posts!


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## Lorglath (Aug 22, 2007)

I am so new that last weekend i cut up an Opus X Chili Pepper of my uncles so I could use the paper for rolling tobacco for a cig. Best cig ever BTW







Wow... I couldn't even post that with a straight face, not saying this to make fun of anyone, but EveryPipeDotComs story was too funny not to elaborate a bit more on. Great contest DBall


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## cman78 (May 12, 2007)

I'm new yeah me and uh my wife are new. Have you met my wife Morgan Fairchild yeah that's the ticket. We're new and uh would love to take I mean earn your generous gift there uh Dan right yeah that's the ticket!!!!:r

Great contest Dan. Man being a newbie was cool. Good luck to whoever wins this guy hits HARD!!!!!:gn


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## Bruin7 (Sep 6, 2007)

DBall said:


> *I want a newbie so green they makes fresh-mowed lawns and pine trees jealous.*


That's hilarious bro!


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## rx2010 (Jan 4, 2007)

uncballzer said:


> I was stupid enough to buy a small cooler the first go round; yeah, that lasted maybe a month.


the only reason I haven't outgrown mind is because I'm broke as a joke


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

Maybe the format should be like this:

I store my cigars:

I have a total of ___ cigars presently:

I have been smoking for:

Then tell the tale. That may help out a bit. 






C'mon newbs... step it up!

:tu


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## gromit (Jul 26, 2007)

DBall said:


> Maybe the format should be like this:
> 
> I store my cigars:
> 
> ...


Something tells me that I don't have a chance at this one...Dan's seen my act. :ss:r:ss


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## illinoishoosier (Aug 13, 2007)

dooge said:


> I can safely say that I am the greenest of all. First off, I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about when you mention "Devil Site". In fact, when I googled it I came up with the answers that you said it wasn't. Second, I am that person who runs out to the local "store" to buy his cigars, even if that store happens to be a gas station and only has a selection of 3 cigars. I live in the biggest gambling city in all of the USA and have no idea where to buy a decently priced cigar, or a place that won't rip me off cos they happen to be a casino.
> 
> I do, however, own a humidor which I managed to scrounge off someone who gave up the leaf but I have no idea how to make the thing stay at a steady 65-70% humidity level despite reading roughly 18 websites that provide different ways on how to do this.
> 
> ...


Hemingays Cigars at Cheyenne and Rainbow...Look for Guitarman ST..they will take good care of you.:tu Just spent two days there setting fire to various parts of their inventory!:ss


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

gromit said:


> Something tells me that I don't have a chance at this one...Dan's seen my act. :ss:r:ss


Yeah, buddy... it'd be like throwing a dixie cup of salt water in the Atlantic...


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## sean373 (Sep 21, 2007)

DBall said:


> Maybe the format should be like this:
> 
> I store my cigars:
> 
> ...


i store mine in my desk drawer in the ziplock bag the cashier puts them in, since i read that this was ok if your only keeping them for a week or so.

i currently have 3 stogies on hand. a cusano cc, an onyx reserve, and a las cabrillas. these will be for fri/sat/sun night, i'll pick up 3 more on sunday for next week.

i have been smoking for about a month. took a bit of a risk since i quit smoking cigs almost 3 years ago. but i have been know to puff on a swisher while fishing to keep the bugs away.

the biggest thing thing holding me back is the sticker shock of buying a humidor and a box of cigars to fill it. i dont mind spending $10-12 for the weekend, but with the holidays coming on fast, and my house search in full gear, i cant justify spending the coin to really get my feet wet.


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

sean373 said:


> well i figured this would be a good thread to make me first post in.


By the way, Sean, if you get a moment, go to the New Gorilla Forum and put up an introductory post. :tu

And for the other guy that asked what BOTL stood for, it's an acronym for Brother Of The Leaf


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

sean373 said:


> i store mine in my desk drawer in the ziplock bag the cashier puts them in, since i read that this was ok if your only keeping them for a week or so.
> 
> i currently have 3 stogies on hand. a cusano cc, an onyx reserve, and a las cabrillas. these will be for fri/sat/sun night, i'll pick up 3 more on sunday for next week.
> 
> ...


Yeah, I quit smoking cigs 2 years ago (after smoking for 15 years) and was worried that I'd get the bright idea to inhale, thus thrusting myself back into inhaling nicotine and smoking cigs. Turns out that cigar smoking (enjoying the flavors and nuances of a fine cigar) actually turned me off to smoking cigs even more.

Keep em comin', newbs...

o


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## sean373 (Sep 21, 2007)

DBall said:


> Yeah, I quit smoking cigs 2 years ago (after smoking for 15 years) and was worried that I'd get the bright idea to inhale, thus thrusting myself back into inhaling nicotine and smoking cigs. Turns out that cigar smoking (enjoying the flavors and nuances of a fine cigar) actually turned me off to smoking cigs even more.
> 
> Keep em comin', newbs...
> 
> o


my second or third puff i inhaled without even thinking about it. certainly a mistake i wont be making again. i coughed so hard my eyes watered.


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## Oyin (Oct 8, 2007)

haha great post..

I am SO newb that i still use my 20ct humidor i bought for $15 off amazon and I can't pronounce the names of half the cigars i own! AND it was only a few months ago that I realized that a cigar can't be kept indefinitely in a zip-lock bag when i realized that my $20 cigars (i think i got ripped off BAD) were ruined after several months.. 

... and is it weird that I just enjoy looking at my cigars and rearranging them? 

:chk:chki want the newb package!


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## [OT] Loki (May 24, 2006)

OH god....this is going to be bad


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## sean373 (Sep 21, 2007)

Oyin said:


> ... and is it weird that I just enjoy looking at my cigars and rearranging them?


i like to take mine out of the wrapper and smell them every now and then. :r


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## TMoneYNYY (Oct 6, 2006)

WHAT'S A HUMIDOR?!?!?!



:ss


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## ambientboy (Jun 10, 2007)

Um. I don't know what a cigar is...


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

sean373 said:


> i like to take mine out of the wrapper and smell them every now and then. :r


Geez, man... I hope you don't take them out of the _wrapper_. The bag, maybe...

:tu


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## GKitty217 (Aug 17, 2007)

OK... I'd kick myself if I didn't at least try for this contest.

I store my cigars: In a humidor that was gifted to me by one of you evil gorillas that I'm not sure I even keep right as I have no kind of experience or instrumentation. 

I have a total of _10_ cigars presently: mostly CAOs that I know for sure that I like and some "big boy" cigars I was gifted at the herf I attended last weekend. It was my first and I'm seriously starting to think I may be in over my head here. 

I have been smoking cigars for: almost a year. That refers to the time after I learned there are cigars better than Phillies and Swishers that were used primarily to look cool or fill with something even worse for me than tobacco. I got serious after a friend gifted me a beautifully aged cigar from way down South that made me believe in God. 

Then tell the tale: I was totally ready to make the commitment. I was going to buy a humidor, some serious paraphenalia (the only cutter I have is a green plastic guillotine affair that falls apart almost everytime I use it), and start working my way through every "recommended for newbies" list I could find. But... I bought a car instead. I know... I know... not the decision of a dedicated gorrilla, but after 6 years trapped in a Tracker with no air-conditioning, it was time to make a move. Now my cigar budget is limited and I'm trapped in my greeness. That's right: Trapped! I'd love to try new cigars, but don't want to end up with a humi full of sticks that would gag an elephant or (worse than that) that I don't enjoy. 

And so I turn to you, oh generous gorilla, and throw myself upon your benevolence and generosity. (Was that a lil too over the top? ) pick me as the newest of the newbs and I promise to try whatever smokes your wisdom would put in my path, to share with other newbs the warm welcome that has been given to me, and to always remember "Pay it Forward is a lifestyle".

Sincerely, 
Trapped in Greenness


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## dayplanner (Dec 11, 1997)

TMoneYNYY said:


> WHAT'S A HUMIDOR?!?!?!
> 
> :ss


.....This Guy should win , LMAO


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## taltos (Feb 28, 2006)

EveryPipeDotCom said:


> .....This Guy should win , LMAO


Check his stats under his name. :chk


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## K Baz (Mar 2, 2007)

taltos said:


> Check his stats under his name. :chk


Maybe he is a slow learner. :ss

Just Kidding.


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## jaycarla (Jun 10, 2007)

GKitty217 said:


> OK... I'd kick myself if I didn't at least try for this contest.
> 
> I store my cigars: In a humidor that was gifted to me by one of you evil gorillas that I'm not sure I even keep right as I have no kind of experience or instrumentation.
> 
> ...


I have a few I thought were good, but this one was pretty funny.:tu


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

there must only be 3 or 4 newbs on this site...


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## bongfather123 (Oct 15, 2007)

macanudo ?? is that a beer... see im as green as it gets hook it up


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## TMoneYNYY (Oct 6, 2006)

K Baz said:


> Maybe he is a slow learner. :ss
> 
> Just Kidding.


I just found out your NOT supposed to put the red, hot end in your mouth... huh... you learn something new every day...

:chk


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## Marlboro Cigars-cl (Feb 19, 2007)

Very generous of you!!
:tu


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## Drazzil (Jun 22, 2007)

Hmm... I'm not usually a fan of posting life stories here; but, I find myself drawn to these boards like a moth to a flame, like a fat person to stretchy pants, or a hobo to a ham sandwich. I have decided to give you kind folks a peek into my life as it is, and, I assure you before I begin, this is not a fabrication, a tall tale, a fabrication or a yarn I invented in a creative writing class.

I live in San "Don the kevlar boys, we're going in!" Bernardino California, voted the number one worst place to live in the United States according to many major newspapers. It, is, in short an all devouring, hot, hellish black hole with all the drawbacks of big city life, and absolutely nothing to do. This place is positively incipid, it sucks the life, will, good nature, and desire to live and be a participating member of human society out of anyone who is foolish enough, poor enough or stupid enough to call its city limits home. If you live work in, or have contact with San Bernardino California, you will find youself doubting the future of the human species as a whole, and your place in it.

I, through curcumstances out of, and partly of my own control find myself caring for my elderly, low income and totally disabled mother who lives on SSI disability. I live with her in a public housing project. 

Public housing projects are everything that television makes them out to be. They are terrible, mismanaged little slices of Somalia in America. The rest of the world has largely forgotten about this section of hell and the denziens who for the most part, are multi generational and quite disabled by the government. Nintey percent of these people live to rob other people, do dope and lash out at the hand that feeds them ((thereby enabling their lifestyle, but that is a discussion for another day)) I live in constant fear, being a non minority in a very disenfranchisized neighborhood. Kevlar and small arms are constantly at hand. I hear gunshots every night. Not a month goes by without a drive by shooting on either my street or one of the streets surrounding where I personally live.

I get paid a small stipend to care for my mother through a government agency that will remain unnamed. This stipend may disappear as my mother has a type of mental illness where she may on a whim decide to "fire" me as caretaker, in which case, I have truly screwed the canus familiarias. My creditors will rip me to pieces. 

I am going to school at my local community college for almost double time. I want out of the situation I am in, and I want out fast, because you see, I want to make my life better and I want to make my moms life better ((if she will trust me)) What little money I make goes towards a car note, car insurance, and college costs.

As far as smoking cigars, I consider it, along with watching a movie at the end of the night, and School, to be my only lifeline to "normal society" The ability to fire up a stogey and watch "Monk" for an hour and a half and just forget about the situation I am in. Ever since I discovered smoking cigars about six months ago, I have made it a hobby. I really dont get the chance to buy that often as my "non necessaries" budget is slim indeed. I have however made the mistake of buying not only from Thompson ((a while back)) but also some pretty decent sticks that for whatever reason, doesent strike my fancy ((Gurka Mild medium anyone?)) Oh, and not all Thompson Cigars are bad. Green Iguanas properly aged arent at-tall bad. Ill defend the smokability of those to the death. But back to the subject.

And before you say man, this guys life is a total waste. It's really not. I am graduating with highest honors in six months with my AA degree in business admin. I have gotten straight A's for the last year and a half. I will be moving on to the Cal State system for my BA, and from there on, I will really be rolling.

You know, come to think about it, This is probabally too personal, and might even violate a few codes of my own by even posting it. I posted not really to win free cigars, although that would be wonderful, and paid forward, when I can. I wanted people to know that there are poor people out there who do better themselves. I know a lot of people will read this thread, because lets face it, who passes up a chance for free cigars?

From lurking a while I know that some people on this board tend to be rather conservative, and critical of democrats and social programs. And I just wanted to let everyone know that not all poor people suck off the systems all their lives. Getting my personal story out there seems like a good place to do it. Not all public aid money is wasted, not all poor people are lifers, and not all Thompson brand Cigars are bad... just most. 


:ss


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

I love the post... very nice... however, you didn't answer the first three questions. :ss


I store my cigars:

I have a total of ___ cigars presently:

I have been smoking for:


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## dayplanner (Dec 11, 1997)

So who won ?

Cheers , 
Yossi G


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

EveryPipeDotCom said:


> So who won ?
> 
> Cheers ,
> Yossi G


5pm Thursday is when it ends...:tu


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## Sames Reincarnated (Oct 23, 2007)

I just started cigar smoking when I turned 18 at the beginning of this month. So far I've only smoked 3 cigars total due to the fact that I have no job and cigars here are around $6-8. I'd ask my mom for money but 1. I don't like doing that, I'd rather pay for my own stuff and 2. Since her cancer has been a downhill slide for her, she is now out of a job and we're living off of about 7k now until November. I only buy cigars when I will smoke them so my stock of cigars is at 2 as of now. I don't own a humidor (again, no job :/), I have a cheap cigar cutter and I don't even have a decent ashtray. I'm always asking questions "Do I do this? Would this be a good Idea? What do you do for this" etc. I want to learn everything I can about cigar smoking.

I guess you could ask "Why don't you just get a job?" Believe me, I've tried places. No one seems to want to accept me and with my senior year going on right now and me focusing on getting into college, I don't think I could handle a job as of now.

I don't want to quit cigar smoking because it's not affordable, because I love every minute of it. The past two weeks for me have not been the greatest, but I've been able to clear my mind because I had a cigar to help me out by calming me down.

Thanks a lot,
Dave

EDIT: To answer those questions posted earlier...although I think I sort of answered them in the tale, but I'll answer them anyway

I store my cigars: In a ziploc bag

I have a total of 2 cigars

I have been smoking for: about 2 1/2 weeks now.


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## sailchaser (Jun 16, 2007)

I don't qualify but my side hurts from laughing after reading the thread that was a win in it's self .Thanks for the contest:tu


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## dooge (Oct 7, 2007)

I guess I should answer those questions:

I store my cigars:At my gas stations small humidor

I have a total of 0 cigars presently.

I have been smoking for: About 2 months.


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## sean373 (Sep 21, 2007)

well damn, i dont have a sick mother or anything like that in my story. BUT i do have a dog with really bad gas who is afraid of EVERYTHING. from plastic bags to my bike, hes even afraid of cigars. plus he has a habit of pooping on the floor during thunder storms :BS


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## GKitty217 (Aug 17, 2007)

Wow.... serious heartbreaking stories going on here. Almost makes me want to withdraw my entry because I'll feel like a shitheel if I win over these selfless individuals. 

Then again, "Hardship builds character" or so says my dear old Dad (who is in tip top shape, though appalled his little girl smokes cigars). 

I wish this thread, contest, and its entries would go back to more of the "what's a humidor?" and "I just learned to not put the red-hot end in my mouth" type. I suppose that makes me a hypocrit since I put up my "I bought a car instead of a humidor" story, but I suddenly feel like I sold myself out in hopes of getting some cigars. 

Maybe that makes me a gorrilla afterall. :ss


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## Harpo (Oct 11, 2007)

TMoneYNYY said:


> I just found out your NOT supposed to put the red, hot end in your mouth... huh... you learn something new every day...
> 
> :chk


:r

Great thread! :tu


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

You guys (and gal) aren't making this easy...


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## Phil S (Oct 23, 2007)

I'm the newest newb, I'm fairly sure. I signed up the day before yesterday (i think), I haven't even learned how to navigate the site smoothly. I've only smoked 2 cigars, and 4 bowls from my pipe. I've got no humidor, no cigars, and only a little tobacco for my new pipe (bought my first one Friday). I love cigars, and my pipe. I've got no idea what makes a good cigar different from a great cigar, or how to pick out a humidor. I'm new to everything about cigars/pipes/tobacco/humidors. I'm loving the experience so far, but I'm a newb is every single sense of the word. I've got no idea about the abreviations everyone uses, NST, BOTL, CAO, "Devil Site". I don't know how to control the humidity in a humidor, I don't own a humidor. I don't know how to store tobacco, I pretty much just started this hobby less than a week ago. I do believe I'm the newest newb. Thanks for the chance at a care package.


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## Drazzil (Jun 22, 2007)

Sorry about that bro, to answer the question in the format you wanted:

I store my cigars: In a starter humidor.

I have a total of 30 cigars presently

I have been smoking for: Six months, roughly


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## rottenzombie (Jun 11, 2007)

I store my cigars in a 60 qt cooler
I have 2 or 3 hundred cigars
I don't smoke , well there was that one time but I try not to think about that anymore... :r I usually just puff on the cigars I light , less painful that way . :ss Did I win :r:r:r


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## RHNewfie (Mar 21, 2007)

sean373 said:


> well damn, i dont have a sick mother or anything like that in my story. BUT i do have a dog with really bad gas who is afraid of EVERYTHING. from plastic bags to my bike, hes even afraid of cigars. plus he has a habit of pooping on the floor during thunder storms :BS


LMAO!!

I am a new smoker too!!

Here is a preview for you newbies!

I started6 months ago, I too had a ziplock and "premuim" (HA) sampler, now I have a 50ct, 150ct, and cooler with a combined total of about 300 cigars along with two pipes and bunch of pipe tobacco!!

The road is paved with ice and boy is it steep!!!


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

HOLY CRAP!!! 45 minutes left!!!

C'mon newbs, make my job more difficult!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:ss


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## Jason_of_Texas (Jun 20, 2007)

I feel I am the biggest newb,I light my cigars with my zippo lighter,Keep my stogies nice and fresh in a shoe box I keeep in my trunk. My fav. flavors are,watermelon and sour apple swishers,but grape white owls are a close second. And right now Im stuck to single swishers,as the box's are PRICEY!
:chk


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

Jason_of_Texas said:


> I feel I am the biggest newb,I light my cigars with my zippo lighter,Keep my stogies nice and fresh in a shoe box I keeep in my trunk. My fav. flavors are,watermelon and sour apple swishers,but grape white owls are a close second. And right now Im stuck to single swishers,as the box's are PRICEY!
> :chk


You, my friend, need a black and mild!!!


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## Jason_of_Texas (Jun 20, 2007)

I kept breaking the tips off ;(


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## sean373 (Sep 21, 2007)

my grandmother makes some mean christmas cookies if that makes any difference :tu:ss


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

sean373 said:


> my grandmother makes some mean christmas cookies if that makes any difference :tu:ss


Bribery?! Awesome! :tu

(30 minutes)


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## Sanitariumite (Sep 14, 2007)

DBall said:


> You, my friend, need a black and mild!!!


Hahaha, this thread is awesome. That poor bastard with only a 60 qt. humi, and 300 cigars... he gets my vote.


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

tick, tick, tick.... 7 minutes... any last minute newbs?

Better type quick!


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## Bear (Sep 22, 2007)

I'm such a newb that the fact that Cubans are available to me at my B&M isn't a plus as all I keep looking for are the ones you guys keep talking about on CS. Sad part is most aren't available here and most on line retailers won't ship to Canada because too many bastages have returned their shipments when they get intercepted by customs!
Oh and I had been keeping my cigars in a 30 count humi when I started smoking seriously about a year ago. Recently Ive added a second 30 count and a 75 count... Probably should set up a coolidor though as I'm pushing 200 cigars now.


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

*Contest closed!*

Results when I get em'. Probably by 8pm... :tu

Stay tuned.


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## sean373 (Sep 21, 2007)

crap i have to go to work at 6. now i'll have to wonder all night long !


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## GKitty217 (Aug 17, 2007)

I already entered, so I'm safe there. 

Is it too late to offer a bribe?

How about some cookies? brownies? cupcakes? Oh wait, i know... I'll make you a FRUIT CAKE!!! 

Good luck on your arduous task. I'll be checking in later.


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

GKitty217 said:


> Oh wait, i know... I'll make you a FRUIT CAKE!!!


You tryin' to tell me something??? :r


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

update: I am finding it difficult to narrow this down...

:hn


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## K Baz (Mar 2, 2007)

New thread put a poll to the jungle of your top 3 choices and lessen the guilt


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

K Baz said:


> New thread put a poll to the jungle of your top 3 choices and lessen the guilt


That is a great idea... I kinda wanna keep it all in one thread, though, including the winnings (which may be brutal). I wish you could add a poll to a thread in progress. That would rock...

:tu


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## shaggy (Dec 28, 2006)

enie minie miney moe.....shaggy is the winner mo fo....:r



good stuff dan....great to see the jungle in action


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## GKitty217 (Aug 17, 2007)

K Baz said:


> New thread put a poll to the jungle of your top 3 choices and *lessen the guilt*


Lessen the guilt?!?!?!? There's no mercy in the jungle.

I know how to lessen your guilt... I win!! 

Or maybe that guy who finally figured out which end to put in his mouth.


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## Sames Reincarnated (Oct 23, 2007)

Best of luck to everyone. I'm anxious to see who he picks!


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

Sames Reincarnated said:


> Best of luck to everyone. I'm anxious to see who he picks!


Hell, so am I... :tu

So far I've narrowed it to, umm... 5


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## Budprince (Mar 29, 2007)

DBall said:


> I need someone so new the don't even have anything to put cigars in... someone that goes to the local store every time he/she wants a cigar... someone who thinks the "devil site" must be a place satan worshipers go to read up on how conduct their perverse rituals. I want a newbie so green they makes fresh-mowed lawns and pine trees jealous.
> 
> Are you that young, newbie chimp with nothing to your name except a butted out macanudo that you are saving the other half for a "special occasion"?
> 
> ...


Sorry, but all I could hear in my mind while reading this was the Piña Colada Song! :r


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## Sames Reincarnated (Oct 23, 2007)

DBall said:


> Hell, so am I... :tu
> 
> So far I've narrowed it to, umm... 5


Who would those five be eh? :ss


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

Sames Reincarnated said:


> Who would those five be eh? :ss


I'm not tellin' yet


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## shaggy (Dec 28, 2006)

is it me???? is it me????


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## Oyin (Oct 8, 2007)

pick me pick mee!!!!! *steps in front of shaggy* :ss

:r:r


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## Sames Reincarnated (Oct 23, 2007)

DBall said:


> I'm not tellin' yet


Oh....you make happy panda sad


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## GKitty217 (Aug 17, 2007)

You should list the Top 5 and take PM votes. 

Now hurry up and put my name up so I can vote for myself. 

:chk


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

After much deliberation, here are the winners. To those who didn't win&#8230; I know how much it sucks to lose&#8230; I have yet to win any contests here either, though, so you're in good company.

*First Place: sean373*

You're exactly what I was looking for in this contest&#8230;

*Second Place: Dooge*

Someone gave you a suggestion on where to get some cigars at a fair price in your area... maybe I can help you determine what it is you like. What size is your humidor? This is a real question.

*Getting some smokes: Drazzil*

Props to you, brother.

*Consolation Prize: GKitty217*

A year smoking, eh? I don't know that you can be considered a newb, however I liked your entry. I will ask you the same question as Dooge... what size is your humidor? Also, are those CAO's flavored? Storing flavored cigars with regular one will impart flavors on the regular ones, which is a bad thing...

*PM me in a month: Sames Reincarnated*

You've been smoking only 2.5 weeks... definitely makes you a newb. You win the delayed prize. Stick around the jungle, get active in it (Newbie Sampler Trades, PIFs, or if that's not possible, just stay active post and reading-wise, etc). PM me in a month and refresh my memory of this thread.

**************************************************​
Pay it forward really *is* a lifestyle around here... once you all have the means (whether you think you will or not...), you'll end up doing it to. It'll take you by surprise, once you bomb a couple people you'll realize the excitement of it all, once you get active in trades/PIFs and (most importantly) reading/posting, the camaraderie of this place will begin to set in. Soon you'll be decimating newbs, too!

The generosity of the jungle is nearly overwhelming... nowhere that I've been or seen, online or off, compares even slightly... the goodness and selflessness of humanity is displayed here on a regular basis (of course with the exception of a few asshats). I wish I could find Pnoon's quote about investing in the jungle...

Anyway, thanks to all who entered. Winners, PM me your addresses. Payouts may take a little time, as I didn't expect to have such a list of people to send to... I really tried to keep it at 2.

Oh, the "devil site" is www.cigarbid.com

Give it a couple weeks... you'll get the reference... :tu :r


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## Sames Reincarnated (Oct 23, 2007)

Congrats to sean373!


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## Lorglath (Aug 22, 2007)

Congrats all, I was convinced that I would win <shrug> at least i invested in a cooler recently! Woot!


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## Sames Reincarnated (Oct 23, 2007)

So what prizes will the winners be receiving?


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

Sames Reincarnated said:


> So what prizes will the winners be receiving?


You'll find out when you get them. Surprises are fun.


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## GKitty217 (Aug 17, 2007)

Congratulations, sean!!! 

Consider me green with envy. 

Thanks for a great contest and a great thread.

To answer your questions:
My humidor is probably a 30 ct or so. 
And yes, most of the CAOs are flavored. I'm at a loss for how to protect the gifted non-flavored cigars I was given since I only have one humidor. I'm keeping the regular cigars in a zippered bag in the humidor. I should probably go ahead and put together a tupper-dor for them. I'd hate to ruin gifts from others with poor storage. 

The reason I still consider myself a newb is my level of experience and knowledge. I've maybe only tried 15 or so different cigars in my "career" and so feel like I've only just begun my education as a smoker of better cigars.


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

GKitty217 said:


> Congratulations, sean!!!
> 
> Consider me green with envy.
> 
> ...


Ok... that helps. PM me your address so I can have it when I'm ready to ship the winnings to ya.


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## Sames Reincarnated (Oct 23, 2007)

DBall said:


> You'll find out when you get them. Surprises are fun.


I shall be PM'ing you in a month then good sir.


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## shaggy (Dec 28, 2006)

congrats all .... and congrats to dan for doin this bro


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## dooge (Oct 7, 2007)

Well gosh. Second place, ey? I jumped at PM'ing you pretty fast. I now feel that being a newb is quite, quite good. Shame other forums don't see that 

Congrats Sean.


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## sean373 (Sep 21, 2007)

man this is awesome !! ive never won anything in my life, well except maybe a goldfish or two at the fair. thanks a million !!! :ss

now for my first question. i suppose i should set up some kind of humidor, and was thinking of using a plastic ammo can from cabelas. it has a foam seal and locks down pretty tight so i assume it should do the trick. as far as adding humidity i have 2 choices. the ciggy store has 2 tubes (about the size of a cigar). one is a clear tube with crystals at the bottom and lines to tell you how much water to add. drymi-somethin it was called. the other is red plastic with a window that shows some kind of cotton material. it says to soak in water when the material turns red. which would be the better choice ???


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

sean373 said:


> man this is awesome !! ive never won anything in my life, well except maybe a goldfish or two at the fair. thanks a million !!! :ss
> 
> now for my first question. i suppose i should set up some kind of humidor, and was thinking of using a plastic ammo can from cabelas. it has a foam seal and locks down pretty tight so i assume it should do the trick. as far as adding humidity i have 2 choices. the ciggy store has 2 tubes (about the size of a cigar). one is a clear tube with crystals at the bottom and lines to tell you how much water to add. drymi-somethin it was called. the other is red plastic with a window that shows some kind of cotton material. it says to soak in water when the material turns red. which would be the better choice ???


Wait until your winnings get there, then worry about all that.

Patience, young monkey.

In the meantime, get active in the forum... post an introduction in the New Gorilla Forum and check out all the niftiness Club Stogie has to offer. Run around the jungle and make some friends!


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## shaggy (Dec 28, 2006)

DBall said:


> Run around the jungle and make some friends!


just dont carry scissors....:r


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## Harpo (Oct 11, 2007)

Congrats Sean!


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

I have sorted out what is being sent for first place. Now I need to find a box big enough to ship it in (seriously). This will most likely go out Monday.

As Mr T. says "I pity the fool!!!"

:ss


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## sean373 (Sep 21, 2007)

DBall said:


> I have sorted out what is being sent for first place. Now I need to find a box big enough to ship it in (seriously). This will most likely go out Monday.
> 
> As Mr T. says "I pity the fool!!!"
> 
> :ss


please dont use plastic gracery bags as packing material. my dogs hates them and i dont wanna clean up after he pees on the floor. :tu


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## ZYA_LTR (Oct 15, 2007)

sean373 said:


> please dont use plastic gracery bags as packing material. my dogs hates them and i dont wanna clean up after he pees on the floor. :tu


Oh man, that's like an invite for a box just filled with plastic bags, and a note that says "Can rufus find the biscuit in the plastic bagstack"

mean, but funny nonetheless.....

kinda gets a guy thinking...................................................................................
...........................................................................................
......................................nah, that would be mean.


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

I just finished boxing up a MASSIVE amount of smokes and other goodies. These winnings will be absolutely devastating. I apologize in advance.

Newbs: When they arrive, please announce it and post the pics here.

Delivery confirmation numbers as follows:

sean373 - 0103 8555 7492 5892 6623

dooge - 0103 8555 7491 9617 3356

The other 2 will be up within the hour. Considering there is no postal delivery on Sundays, these will go out Monday morning.


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

Drazzil - 0103 8555 7491 8569 0130


GKitty217 - 0103 8555 7492 4864 5633

:tu


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## Oyin (Oct 8, 2007)

congrats to all the winners! :tu


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## sean373 (Sep 21, 2007)

jeez i hope you didnt go overboard ! once the chilly weather hits it'll be tooo cold for me to go outside and i'll have to just stare at my stogies all winter long.


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

sean373 said:


> jeez i hope you didnt go overboard ! once the chilly weather hits it'll be tooo cold for me to go outside and i'll have to just stare at my stogies all winter long.


Me? Go overboard? Nahhhhh. Not me. Nope.



P.S. Better go buy a warm coat...


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## GKitty217 (Aug 17, 2007)

DBall said:


> These winnings will be absolutely devastating.


Great... just what I need in my life... devastation. 

I'll be on the lookout and I assure you all I'll post pics so you can see the damage.

Have a nice week everyone!


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## gromit (Jul 26, 2007)

I have seen the future and it is scary. Head for the Bomb Shelters...I was scared just being in the same room with all this ordinance. :tu


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

gromit said:


> I have seen the future and it is scary. Head for the Bomb Shelters...I was scared just being in the same room with all this ordinance. :tu


...poor newbs. They know not the devastation that will be wrought upon them.

:mn

Things should start landing Wednesday, I think...


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

Hopefully, touchdowns will happen tomorrow... I'm more excited about this than the recipients.

Can't friggin' wait!!!!!!!! :bl


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## GKitty217 (Aug 17, 2007)

DBall said:


> Hopefully, touchdowns will happen tomorrow... I'm more excited about this than the recipients.
> 
> Can't friggin' wait!!!!!!!! :bl


Of course you're more excited than I am... I'm terrified and rushing to build a bombshelter.


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## [OT] Loki (May 24, 2006)

GKitty217 said:


> Of course you're more excited than I am... I'm terrified and rushing to build a bombshelter.


this is a good idea


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

GKitty217 said:


> Of course you're more excited than I am... I'm terrified and rushing to build a bombshelter.


That's not gonna help. Sorry. (Not really)


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## dooge (Oct 7, 2007)

I've gotta say that I'm a little nervous about this.


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## Sames Reincarnated (Oct 23, 2007)

This is probably going to be more epic than epic itself on an epic scale from 1 to 10. Can't wait to see those pictures!


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## sean373 (Sep 21, 2007)

i made sure to get fresh batteries for my camera :tu


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

Today may be the day...........................................


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

The anticipation is killing me...


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## Sanitariumite (Sep 14, 2007)

DBall said:


> The anticipation is killing me...


I'm not even involved, and I'm excited to see the smackdown you sent these poor innocent newbs. Waiting's always the worst part too.


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

Looks like Sean373 posted his winnings here:

http://www.clubstogie.com/vb/showthread.php?p=1254664

:tu

(one down, three to go...)


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## sean373 (Sep 21, 2007)

maybe the others are still in shock !


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## GKitty217 (Aug 17, 2007)

Maybe the others are still at work. :ss

45 minutes and counting until my release. I'll let you know when I get home if today was the day.


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## cman78 (May 12, 2007)

Dan I think I am going to have to report you. It looks like you are going to have three direct violations of the Geneva Convention. You can't just beat the crap out of new inmates like that. 
That is of course unless they like it.


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## GKitty217 (Aug 17, 2007)

Thread-jack: Someone give me the skinny on the aforementioned free shipping supplies, please. I may have to get involved in this trading thing.


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## BigFrankMD (Aug 31, 2007)

GKitty217 said:


> Thread-jack: Someone give me the skinny on the aforementioned free shipping supplies, please. I may have to get involved in this trading thing.


http://www.clubstogie.com/vb/showthread.php?t=29863


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

Only one so far today?


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## GKitty217 (Aug 17, 2007)

Consolation prize pics here:
http://www.clubstogie.com/vb/showthread.php?t=116321


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

Sweet... 2 down, 2 to go.

:ss:ss


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

3 down, one left... Drazzil's is here:

http://www.clubstogie.com/vb/showthread.php?t=116324

(p.s. this is my 1000th post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

:bl:bl:bl:bl:bl:bl:bl


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## schweiger_schmoke (Jun 16, 2007)

FriendlyFire said:


> Nice,
> 
> I'm so new that I can't part with my sticks. I have 112 Cigars and I still buy one if I want to smoke.


112 Cigars. You might want to recount that because last time I was in your humidor I'm fairly certain I saw 114ish. :chk


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## schweiger_schmoke (Jun 16, 2007)

700 Posts, by the way. ^^^ Woot.


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

One must not have landed yet...

:ss


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

I spoke too soon...

http://www.clubstogie.com/vb/showthread.php?t=116346

That's all 4 of 'em.

Thanks for playin', newbs!!!!


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## sean373 (Sep 21, 2007)

i feel like i should buy you a better christmas present than my girlfriend. :r


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

sean373 said:


> i feel like i should buy you a better christmas present than my girlfriend. :r


Not at all, man... I was just trying to help out. You'll all likely end up doing the same thing someday. I tried to hook you guys up with what you needed based on what you already had. For instance, I knew Dooge had a humi and has some beads on the way, so I figured I'd help him pack it. GKitty was using her humi for flavored smokes, so she needed one for "big boy" smokes (as she called 'em). Drazzil needed a few really good smokes to melt some stress away. And you...? You needed the whole package... a proper introduction to CS. :tu

There was a method to my madness.

That being said... I'm terrible at contests. I can't pick just one or two winners... next time I'll have to do a "guess my favorite number" type thing or something!

:r


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## GKitty217 (Aug 17, 2007)

DBall said:


> I'm terrible at contests. I can't pick just one or two winners... next time I'll have to do a "guess my favorite number" type thing or something!


Oh yeah, you're absolutely wretched. 

Silly, DBall, stop being humble, you just beatdown 4 newbs. Nice work, brother. :tu


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## cman78 (May 12, 2007)

DBall said:


> That being said... I'm terrible at contests. I can't pick just one or two winners... next time I'll have to do a "guess my favorite number" type thing or something!
> 
> :r


Any body who has seen you play obviously knows your favorite number is three. (capos that is):r


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

cman78 said:


> Any body who has seen you play obviously knows your favorite number is three. (capos that is):r


Hahahahaha... I have been tasked with writing a 4 capo song. I shall succeed! :tu

:r


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## sean373 (Sep 21, 2007)

i went out yesterday and picked up a temp/humidity sensor from walmart. its about the size of a deck of cards, only thicker. its been in a tupperware container with a cap full of salt water for about 13 hours now. seems to read 3% low. its a kinda big for my new humidor, but i figured it could be usefull till i get the hang of things.


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

sean373 said:


> i went out yesterday and picked up a temp/humidity sensor from walmart. its about the size of a deck of cards, only thicker. its been in a tupperware container with a cap full of salt water for about 13 hours now. seems to read 3% low. its a kinda big for my new humidor, but i figured it could be usefull till i get the hang of things.


I buy all my stuff (beads, hygrometers, etc) from www.hearfeltindustries.com

Super fast shipping, incredible post-sale service and the hygro is adjustable. Keep that huge one around for when you go buy a cooler (which will happen, whether you want it to or not).


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## cman78 (May 12, 2007)

DBall said:


> Hahahahaha... I have been tasked with writing a 4 capo song. I shall succeed! :tu
> 
> :r


[threadjack] off subject here. I played a short capo the other day and those things are KICK A55. Good luck on the song. 
[/threadjack]


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

HEY NEWBS.........!

Any reviews yet? I'd love to hear what ya think of the cigars!!!

:tu


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## dooge (Oct 7, 2007)

Oooh, forgot about the review part... I guess I better get smoking!


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## sean373 (Sep 21, 2007)

i keep meaning to review one of the smokes, but i always forget. but i'll give you a breakdown on what i have tried so far.

padron: really liked it, very unique flavor. not sure if this was a natural or maduro.
perdomo reserve camaroon: really liked this one as well. slighty sweet and nutty with a peppery flavor as well
sancho panza maduro: pretty good, sort of a earthy(damp leaves) and dark chocolate(but not sweet) flavor. went great with the cappuccino i was drinking
romeo y julieta: ehh this one didnt seem to do it for me. tasted kind of bland.

i also found a cigar shop in one of the local malls, so now i have a place to go and get my feet wet. picked up 6 random smokes and a new sense of joy as i realized i can now hang out in there while the g/f shops for shoes and bras. :ss


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## GKitty217 (Aug 17, 2007)

The only one I've broken out thus far is the CAO, don't know more than that. 

After I did some damage trying out my new punch (no comments from you, Doug), I enjoyed a careful smoke. I wish I could be more in depth, but time has passed and I'm currently frazzled. I enjoyed it and I will definetly smoke it again. 

I'll take more careful notes on the next one. 

Thanks again, DBall.


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## nycstogie (Mar 20, 2008)

rx2010 said:


> I think it took me 4 months for a cooler... but I also bought 2 humis before that... what a fool I was


Can I Buytrade your Humi??
Danny:ss


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