# Obviously NOT HerfnTerf Approved



## capttrips (Jun 25, 2012)

I was in the B&M last night for an event when a customer comes in wanting to return his humidor. He had bought it, taken it home, seasoned it and it had developed mold. It happens sometimes. I wish I had my cellphone to record the events that happened next. We opened the humidor, pulled out the tray, and low and behold we found the reason for the sporey outbreak......this idiot had tossed baby carrots and 2 romaine (I guess iceberg wouldn't work) leaves in the bottom. :rotfl:I'm sorry, but I laughed so hard I had to leave the room. Apparently a friend had told him this was a great way to season your humidor. Sure it is, if you want a fricking salad. What made it even worse was this guy was adamant that it was a defect in the humidor and had nothing to do with the decaying vegetable matter in the bottom. Add to that each humidor comes with detailed seasoning instructions and they sell seasoning packs and you have a winner. Guys like this give me hope that I am truly NOT the dumbest person on the planet. We all started somewhere, but to quote football legend Keyshawn Johnson, COME ON MAN!!


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## zephead61 (Apr 18, 2012)

OMG!:banghead:


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## k-morelli (Jun 22, 2011)

some people should really read instructions first.. oh and not to nit pick but C'mon Man would be Cris Carter also a legendary receiver, don't wanna criticize, I love the "C'mon Man!" segment



capttrips said:


> I was in the B&M last night for an event when a customer comes in wanting to return his humidor. He had bought it, taken it home, seasoned it and it had developed mold. It happens sometimes. I wish I had my cellphone to record the events that happened next. We opened the humidor, pulled out the tray, and low and behold we found the reason for the sporey outbreak......this idiot had tossed baby carrots and 2 romaine (I guess iceberg wouldn't work) leaves in the bottom. :rotfl:I'm sorry, but I laughed so hard I had to leave the room. Apparently a friend had told him this was a great way to season your humidor. Sure it is, if you want a fricking salad. What made it even worse was this guy was adamant that it was a defect in the humidor and had nothing to do with the decaying vegetable matter in the bottom. Add to that each humidor comes with detailed seasoning instructions and they sell seasoning packs and you have a winner. Guys like this give me hope that I am truly NOT the dumbest person on the planet. We all started somewhere, but to quote football legend Keyshawn Johnson, COME ON MAN!!


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## capttrips (Jun 25, 2012)

I obviously don't claim to be the smartest guy on the planet, but how stupid do you have to be to put vegetables in your humidor. For God's sake people, use some common sense. Even if you do get rid of the mold you are never going to get rid of the decaying carrot and lettuce smell.


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## beerindex (Sep 10, 2012)

I really hope you guys didn't give him a refund.


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## Dark Rose (Jul 13, 2012)

Woooooooow... That's all I can really say...


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## zephead61 (Apr 18, 2012)

Anyone know where I can get a 65% head of lettuce??


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## smokin3000gt (Apr 25, 2012)

The guy is obviously an idiot. EVERYONE knows yogurt seasons the best..


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## capttrips (Jun 25, 2012)

I'm not sure the warranty covered stupidity or vegetable abuse. Besides, they would have told him to go jump off a bridge which, under the circumstances, he probably would have done.


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## huskers (Oct 2, 2012)

beerindex said:


> I really hope you guys didn't give him a refund.


+2...........


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## capttrips (Jun 25, 2012)

Almost as funny as the guy who wanted a refund on cigars because he saturated the foam devices and it ran all over the inside of his box. Or one of the best: the guy who salted tested his hygrometer by putting it in a bag of wet salt. It was funny watching the manager pull the wet and salty device out of the ziploc.


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

Wait. You're NOT supposed to use vegetables?... Be right back.


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## huskers (Oct 2, 2012)

David_ESM said:


> Wait. You're NOT supposed to use vegetables?... Be right back.


apples or tomatoes only!


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## Guest (Oct 17, 2012)

zephead61 said:


> Anyone know where I can get a 65% head of lettuce??


ound:


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## Dark Rose (Jul 13, 2012)

smokin3000gt said:


> The guy is obviously an idiot. EVERYONE knows yogurt seasons the best..


Regular or Greek yogurt? *note to self...*


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## Packerjh (Nov 29, 2009)

But ain't ceegars leafy veggies?


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## Steel Talon (Mar 2, 2010)

Sweet baby Jesus...Some people,just hav'nt a clue when it comes to common sense,or only have an IQ found somewhere between a Pet Rock and a Turnip....

Every experienced Cigar Miester knows to properly season a humidore it takes celery and cilantro......


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## john37 (Aug 22, 2012)

That's pretty bad. Poor guy needs to join puff :welcome::sl


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

That's amazing. 

A. Mazing.


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## Jfred (Jun 7, 2012)

Haha that's pretty awesome! Wasn't there a thread on here about a guy who got a box of dry cigars and cut every cigar open to see if they were all dry, then got mad that CS wouldn't give him a refund?


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## Johnpaul (Aug 15, 2011)

Obviously the correct advice would have been to use a cut potato. I am not kidding. Potato's were the KL back in the day.


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

Mmm.... French fry cigars...


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## KSB (Aug 31, 2012)

Wow. Now that is just sad. His friend should toss his salad for telling him that one!


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## ejgarnut (Sep 28, 2009)

it sounds like that young gentleman could use some guidance from a knowledgeable BOTL


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## capttrips (Jun 25, 2012)

We schooled him alright!! We printed out Herf's sticky and gave it to him.


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## Engineer99 (Aug 4, 2011)

Now that don't make a lick of sense....


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## joshuarodger (Jun 20, 2012)

Next time I can give him some fresh dog crap if he wants.


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## Brettanomyces (Jul 12, 2012)

What a moron. If he had just added some dressing to the salad he made in the humidor, the vinegar would have prevented mold. Who the hell makes a humidor salad without vinaigrette?


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

Brettanomyces said:


> Who the hell makes a humidor salad without vinaigrette?


Thats a point no one can argue with...


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## Jeff the Puf Diver (Sep 29, 2012)

Was it the guy who was smoking the cigar with the cedar wrapper on it? Wish I could remember where that pic came from...


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## border bandit (Feb 26, 2012)

Everyone knows that putting salad from the Olive Garden is the best. You add a breadstick or two to age cigars.



Johnpaul said:


> Obviously the correct advice would have been to use a cut potato. I am not kidding. Potato's were the KL back in the day.


Maybe that's were the idea of Liga's papas fritas came from.


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## kevink (Sep 13, 2012)

I'm confused, so if I put cigars in my salad, will I get mold in my salad bowl?


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## JoeT (Sep 15, 2012)

zephead61 said:


> OMG!:banghead:


OMG::banghead:


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## FWTX (Feb 9, 2011)




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## cigars_eh (Aug 8, 2012)

Wow, what a horrible way to start being a cigar enthusiast


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## fiddlegrin (Feb 8, 2009)

ejgarnut said:


> it sounds like that young gentleman could use some guidance from a knowledgeable BOTL


True that good Sir!

I can't deny that it is a funny story, but it really isn't too many lightyears off base. Peeps used to, (and some may still) put pieces of cut apple in their pipe tobacco pouches for humidity distribution. :nod:

So anyways, it sure was nice of Ya'll to give him Don's sticky about proper seasoning techniques. Good on Ya's! :thumb:


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## Edrod (Sep 14, 2012)

Wow, I've never heard of such thing. Wonder if his friend was just messing with him. Haha


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## Tumadre99 (Sep 20, 2012)

i really hope his friend was just screwing with him.
he is a complete idiot!
how can you not expect food to mold?!?!
thats how shit decays!


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## Jfred (Jun 7, 2012)

Maybe his friend thinks humidor is a type of soup or salad? :flypig:


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## Andrewdk (Feb 3, 2011)

Gives a new meaning to "cuban sandwich". Wonder if the guy abuses Westinghouse if anything goes bad in his fridge.


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## Damselnotindistress (Aug 7, 2011)

Welcome to working with the public :dizzy: To save many paragraphs of forum time about our experiences with the public on the subway/transit lines over 14 years, I'll just refer to an article in Cigar Magazine awhile back talking about the stupidity & foolishness B&M owners have to endure: customers coming back to the store with smoked, chewed on, nasty butt remains demanding their money back 'cuz they didn't like that cigar...and too, TOO many others to count. When I visited my tobacconists I told them, "Man, I didn't realize y'all had to go through all of that!" And they would exhaustedly just blow air out of their cheeks and shake their heads! When I buy a cigar that it turns out I don't like - that's not the shop proprietor's fault! Hell, I don't even believe in holding anything against the manufacturer of that cigar. That just didn't do it for ME, and onto the next thing! I haven't enjoyed an Opus X yet - and I made sure to buy and try it several times to be sure - again, on ME. How am I gonna take it back to the cigar store and want my money back??? I just know, yep, despite its glam and fame it just don't appeal to me! But I LOOOVE Arturo's other selections. I once did return a humidor I'd ordered online - it was the wrong color. But I left it totally untouched. If I had "sweetened it," "put vegetables in it!!" etc., I suspect I'D have a difficult time, no doubt, in returning it for refund! What I had a hard time respecting concerning my employment on the metro transit lines was the specialty funds set aside nick named, "Nuisance funds" for complainants persistent with their assinine, non-sensical, retardate actions against the transit company, and the funds would be disseminated just to get rid of them. NO, not me - I'm the kind of sheila who'll willingly fight to the end - our bloody, half-stump bodies panting and ready to go some more! As the saying goes, "It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live by them" :fencing:


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## Dark Rose (Jul 13, 2012)

Damselnotindistress said:


> Welcome to working with the public :dizzy: To save many paragraphs of forum time about our experiences with the public on the subway/transit lines over 14 years, I'll just refer to an article in Cigar Magazine awhile back talking about the stupidity & foolishness B&M owners have to endure: customers coming back to the store with smoked, chewed on, nasty butt remains demanding their money back 'cuz they didn't like that cigar...and too, TOO many others to count. When I visited my tobacconists I told them, "Man, I didn't realize y'all had to go through all of that!" And they would exhaustedly just blow air out of their cheeks and shake their heads! When I buy a cigar that it turns out I don't like - that's not the shop proprietor's fault! Hell, I don't even believe in holding anything against the manufacturer of that cigar. That just didn't do it for ME, and onto the next thing! I haven't enjoyed an Opus X yet - and I made sure to buy and try it several times to be sure - again, on ME. How am I gonna take it back to the cigar store and want my money back??? I just know, yep, despite its glam and fame it just don't appeal to me! But I LOOOVE Arturo's other selections. I once did return a humidor I'd ordered online - it was the wrong color. But I left it totally untouched. If I had "sweetened it," "put vegetables in it!!" etc., I suspect I'D have a difficult time, no doubt, in returning it for refund! What I had a hard time respecting concerning my employment on the metro transit lines was the specialty funds set aside nick named, "Nuisance funds" for complainants persistent with their assinine, non-sensical, retardate actions against the transit company, and the funds would be disseminated just to get rid of them. NO, not me - I'm the kind of sheila who'll willingly fight to the end - our bloody, half-stump bodies panting and ready to go some more! As the saying goes, "It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live by them" :fencing:


Sounds familiar, I've got a friend who used to work in computer tech support... all of those funny stories you read about incredibly stupid people on the internet regarding tech support questions are TRUE! He's dealt with them all and then some... And quite often it was "well the guy at _store XYZ_ told me..."


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## FWTX (Feb 9, 2011)

Part of my job description is Technical Sales Support - we distribute hydraulic components for heavy equipment - no difference there!
"I need a new pump"
"Who's the manufacturer?"
"It's blue..."

(or one of my recent favorites)
"I bought a log splitter to crush rocks, it worked for a while but now it stopped."
"and... what did you need to know sir?"
"I need a bigger pump."
"Sir a larger pump isn't going to make a log splitter crush rocks."
"What are you telling me? I spent $3500.00 on a log splitter and it's not going to crush rocks?!!!"
(this went on for twenty minutes!!!)


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

FWTX said:


> (or one of my recent favorites)
> "I bought a log splitter to crush rocks, it worked for a while but now it stopped."
> "and... what did you need to know sir?"
> "I need a bigger pump."
> ...


I wish I could hear his thought process...

"Man, look at all these rocks. They're just too damn big. Hmm... You know what I need here? A log splitter."


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## Cigar Noob (May 22, 2011)

If I was there this is how it would have gone.

him:"my humidor is defective look at all that mold!"
me: "WTF? is that a carrot and some lettuce?", *holds hand out for coworker to add copious amounts of baby powder*
him: "it is a great way to season..."
me *Pimp slaps the shit out of him*... "It is time for you to go now"
the end


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## Jfred (Jun 7, 2012)

FWTX said:


> (or one of my recent favorites)
> "I bought a log splitter to crush rocks, it worked for a while but now it stopped."
> "and... what did you need to know sir?"
> "I need a bigger pump."
> ...


Hahahahaha that's pretty amazing!!!!!


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## The Counselor (Jun 19, 2012)

Holy Cow!!


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## Bondo 440 (Jul 24, 2012)

This story just makes me want to post this.

Sorry, in advance, Doc.


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## Jeff the Puf Diver (Sep 29, 2012)

That's friggin perfect!


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## Jfred (Jun 7, 2012)

Bondo 440 said:


> This story just makes me want to post this.
> 
> Sorry, in advance, Doc.


Haha


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## rx2man (Dec 4, 2011)

Jeff the Puf Diver said:


> Was it the guy who was smoking the cigar with the cedar wrapper on it? Wish I could remember where that pic came from...


Dont know where the pic came from but I have it saved and am more than happy to provide you with a little entertainment









The whole lettice thing is rather interesting, I have heard for taking a slice of apple and putting it in you bag of pipe tobacco to moisten it up a bit, but I dont think you left it there to rot either. Some strange people out there.


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## Jfred (Jun 7, 2012)

rx2man said:


> View attachment 41055


OMG this thread keeps getting better!!! :r


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## cycorider (Aug 31, 2012)

Hahahahahahahahaha!!!


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## Tumadre99 (Sep 20, 2012)

Who smokes with ceder? FÜCKING NOOB.
Its all about that cello. I need more carcinogens.



rx2man said:


> Dont know where the pic came from but I have it saved and am more than happy to provide you with a little entertainment
> View attachment 41055


But this is just too funny!!!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
even as a newb it just seemed obvious to me that i had to remove all the extra shit.
If only people actually used legitimate sources and double checked info these days.
But no thats too logical, only idiots do that.


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## Andrewdk (Feb 3, 2011)

Dark Rose said:


> Sounds familiar, I've got a friend who used to work in computer tech support... all of those funny stories you read about incredibly stupid people on the internet regarding tech support questions are TRUE! He's dealt with them all and then some... And quite often it was "well the guy at _store XYZ_ told me..."


Oh dear god that brings back memories, not to forget their grandson/neice/neighbour/neighbour's dog who is a computer expert (they even read PC Magazine you know) so they obviously know more then the professional they bought their computer to for repairs. I worked for a computer company and actually had one customer blame us for the unrealistic sales pitch she was given from a retail store, appearantly we can control what sales people say in other companies.


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## Damselnotindistress (Aug 7, 2011)

Andrewdk said:


> Oh dear god that brings back memories, not to forget their grandson/neice/neighbour/neighbour's dog who is a computer expert (they even read PC Magazine you know) so they obviously know more then the professional they bought their computer to for repairs. I worked for a computer company and actually had one customer blame us for the unrealistic sales pitch she was given from a retail store, appearantly we can control what sales people say in other companies.


Hey! Let's not forget the very happy people who field calls to the local TV station! A beleaguered young man who just looked exhausted and shaking his head from dealing with all the "stupid, etc., etc., etc." people calling in who, for instance, "think that WE control the weather..."! Some woman had just gotten off the phone with him about the constant rain and complaining, "WHY are you doing this!?? STOP IT!" And honorable mention to the geniuses who attack celebrities on the street who think their villainous roles were real occurrences :wacko: :loco:


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## Jeff the Puf Diver (Sep 29, 2012)

Thanks, Rx. That's the pic!


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## Herf N Turf (Dec 31, 2008)

Maybe I should have been more specific in my guide? I never thought to address the use of vegetables :dunno:

Goes to show, there just ain't no fixin' stupid.


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

I <3 Puff.


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## Herf N Turf (Dec 31, 2008)

Aninjaforallseasons said:


> I <3 Puff.


And we all ξ> you back, Derek!


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## Dark Rose (Jul 13, 2012)

Herf N Turf said:


> And we all ξ> you back, Derek!


Though probably not all in the same way...

:wacko:


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