# Just a warning to someone from Missouri....



## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

If you play with fire, you're gonna get burned. I'm just going on record. You were a little too giggly on the phone ... and I may have to just pre-empt your strike. If I'm going down, so are you. M.A.D., dammit. 

You know who you are....


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## Old Sailor (Jul 27, 2006)

Take no prisoners Professor:r


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

Label is printed out. Any confirmation of aggression will be met with a pre-emptive strike:

0103 8555 7492 0130 3518

You'll be bombed back into the "shade"!!!  :r


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## gocowboys (May 20, 2007)

This place is getting down right nasty. Wars and pre-emptive strikes every where.


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## Papichulo (Jan 21, 2007)

You have to love it!!!


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## newcigarz (Feb 11, 2007)

The Professor said:


> Label is printed out. Any confirmation of aggression will be met with a pre-emptive strike:
> 
> 0103 8555 7492 0130 3518
> 
> You'll be bombed back into the "shade"!!!  :r


That is downright scary! :tu


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## Darrell (Aug 12, 2007)

Talk is cheap. 

:chk


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## Sean9689 (Nov 9, 2005)

I know it's not me because I have your # blocked. :r


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## Perry72 (Apr 20, 2007)

Go gettem.......:gn


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

Sean9689 said:


> I know it's not me because I have your # blocked. :r


:r :r :r

I was wondering why I kept getting that pre-recorded message. Bastage!


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## The Dakotan (Jun 4, 2007)

Darrell said:


> Talk is cheap.
> 
> :chk


yeah, i have a feeling it's not so cheap. :ss


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## burninator (Jul 11, 2006)

No war for cigars!


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## BostonMark (Sep 12, 2007)

burninator said:


> No war for cigars!


war WITH cigars though...thats fair game.:tu


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

The Dakotan said:


> yeah, i have a feeling it's not so cheap. :ss


yeah ... not much cheap about this bomb. 

alright -- mutually assured destruction has been ... well ... assured. :r the package went out just now. 5 *modest* selections. 

hiding out "under the ol' shady tree" ain't gonna protect you, either. :tu


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## woops (Aug 5, 2007)

Since I'm safe, I will volunteer to stand on my front porch and scan the horizon for the cloud of smoke. When it's in sight I'll notify 911 for the victim. I've got your back ...... as soon as I locate my binoculars ... and my cordless phone .... Oh, and I need to look up the number for 911 also. THEN, I've got your back. You can count on me! Unless the bomb hits while I happen to be looking the other way. :tu


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

Just keep looking toward the southeast corner of the state.


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## hollywood (Feb 15, 2005)

can someone else say .......







.


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

hollywood said:


> can someone else say .......
> 
> 
> 
> ...


it's good to know you're accepting your fate. :tu


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## hollywood (Feb 15, 2005)

The Professor said:


> it's good to know you're accepting your fate. :tu


not _EXACTLY_ where I was going with that.

mine is more like ....

.


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

hollywood said:


> not _EXACTLY_ where I was going with that.
> 
> mine is more like ....
> 
> .


we'll see, Mr. Chuckles. when neither of us is heard from again after Thursday, I guess we'll know that MAD works in one way or another. :fu :r


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## hollywood (Feb 15, 2005)

The Professor said:


> we'll see, Mr. Chuckles. when neither of us is heard from again after Thursday, I guess we'll know that MAD works in one way or another. :fu :r


I just think somebody is ...








.

:r


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## RPB67 (Mar 26, 2005)

The Professor said:


> If you play with fire, you're gonna get burned. I'm just going on record. You were a little too giggly on the phone ... and I may have to just pre-empt your strike. If I'm going down, so are you. M.A.D., dammit.
> 
> You know who you are....


Them there are fighting words !!!!! :tu


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## Marlboro Cigars-cl (Feb 19, 2007)

Someone is in for it now!!
:tu


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

hollywood said:


> I just think somebody is ...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I ain't skerrd. :fu


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## hollywood (Feb 15, 2005)

The Professor said:


> I ain't skerrd. :fu


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## hollywood (Feb 15, 2005)




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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

OK ... I may be fukked on this one. I have a bad feeling about what's going down today. 

That said, I will not be silenced or stopped. Just you wait, biotch....

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."


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## hollywood (Feb 15, 2005)

"If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions."


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## zemekone (Aug 1, 2004)

Pulp Fiction Jules:
Now I'm thinkin', it could mean you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. .45 here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or is could by you're the righteous man and I'm theshepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. I'd like that. But that shit ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin'. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd...​
Darrel maybe you need to step back and take a look outside the box... :r


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## hollywood (Feb 15, 2005)

zemekone said:


> Pulp Fiction Jules:
> Now I'm thinkin', it could mean you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. .45 here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or is could by you're the righteous man and I'm theshepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. I'd like that. But that shit ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin'. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd...​
> Darrel maybe you need to step back and take a look outside the box... :r


pretty quiet out there. i think Darrel may have looked INSIDE the box!?!:r


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## cigar_040 (Mar 10, 2006)

Hope it's not one of these..........


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## hollywood (Feb 15, 2005)

Well, the Doc sure knows how to throw a solid punch! Got hit hard by the man trying to blow me up before he gets his!! Awesome smokes, my friend! Thanks for trying to take me out!!

_btw - gotcha!_


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## cigar_040 (Mar 10, 2006)

Nice box of goodies there Dave !! 

Great counter attack Darrel :tu


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

hollywood said:


> pretty quiet out there. i think Darrel may have looked INSIDE the box!?!:r





> JULES
> You win.
> 
> Jules raises his hand off the briefcase.
> ...


Pics will come later. I'm totally blown away. This is *textbook* trade gone awry and one person getting utterly and completely destroyed. As icehog might say, "F*ck me."

Pics will come soon. I'm still speechless....


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

So all of this starts with a box of cigars that I had acquired and sent to Dave a little ahead of schedule. I told him we'd "figure out payment later," which is fine since he and I just trust each other. That trust may have just been violated with this smack-down. 

First there was the pipe 'baccy...



That's a tin of Old Growrie and a tin of Scottish Flake (he read my mind on that one). Mmmmmmm....

Then comes the half-box of pre-embargo cigars that he and I split. I knew this was coming as part of "payment." There are more under that top row....



All of this is within the bounds of stuff I might expect from Mr. Dave. then came the real ass whoopin'....

(continue to next post)


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

Dave f*cked me good here. I'm gonna let the pics speak first:

Your eyes do not deceive you. Those pics include the following:

98 Boli PC
83 Panetelas Largas
70 Partagas Demi Tip (top pic, phuck me!)
Partagas 160th Anniversary Rodolfo (a grand pyramid, massive smoke)

and ... wait for it ... wait ... my favorite cigar ...

*TWO Habanos Festival 2000 Marevas*

Those are some great sticks you hunted down, bro! I'm excited about all of them ... especially the Marevas. While we may have technically been in the midst of a trade, those kinds of sticks are just too far above and beyond. It's time for me to really whip up on you now that I got that warning shot out. 

Wow. Just wow.


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## 68TriShield (May 15, 2006)

Just bend over,get it over with...(Gladys)


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## hollywood (Feb 15, 2005)

68TriShield said:


> Just bend over,get it over with...(Gladys)


:r

Quoting the wise man Urkel ... "DID I DO THAT!?":ss


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

hollywood said:


> :r
> 
> Quoting the wise man Urkel ... "DID I DO THAT!?":ss


yes you did. bastage. :r :r


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

Time to be totally truthful and put all the chest-puffing aside. Every time I think about this, I am struck by disbelief at just how generous my good friend was/is. Truly an unbelievable hit. Just wow.


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## RenoB (Oct 12, 2005)

Holy crap Dave, you must've hit your head harder than we thought :r

Really tho, that is a remarkable send - you got your a$$ handed to ya ~d, enjoy :ss


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

RenoB said:


> Holy crap Dave, you must've hit your head harder than we thought :r
> 
> Really tho, that is a remarkable send - you got your a$$ handed to ya ~d, enjoy :ss


Yes I did.


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## gocowboys (May 20, 2007)

The Professor said:


> Yes I did.


I don't want to pile on. I know this is hard for you. I do believe he :sl you around a lot. That was one hell of a hit.


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## Papichulo (Jan 21, 2007)

Darrel, you slapped him around and he curb-checked your head GBH style:tu


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## The Dakotan (Jun 4, 2007)

Shady Dave is still ... shady. WOW. very nice hit.


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

There are a couple visual representations that get across what Dave did to me. I welcome more....


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## txdyna65 (Aug 21, 2006)

Man you two dont play around, very nice hits from both of ya....but that is one a$$ whoopin Dave gave to ya Darrel :r


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

txdyna65 said:


> Man you two dont play around, very nice hits from both of ya....but that is one a$$ whoopin Dave gave to ya Darrel :r


A graphical representation for that....


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

tick tock.

this ain't over.

now that a certain missourian has blown his wad, it's time to get serious. :cb


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

any last words, Dave?


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## ramblinsmoke (May 30, 2007)

Bruised, battered but still standing


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## Papichulo (Jan 21, 2007)

I think this is the month for ass kickings:tu


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

Papichulo said:


> I think this is the month for ass kickings:tu


We'll carry this on to next month, too....  :tu


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## hollywood (Feb 15, 2005)

[No message]


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

cartoons aren't gonna help you, bro....


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## Sean9689 (Nov 9, 2005)

You guys are so cute. :r

Kinda reminds me of the movie, Swingers:

----------------------------------------------

Trent: You know what you are? You're like a big bear with claws and with fangs...

Sue: ...big ****ing teeth, man.

Trent: Yeah... big ****in' teeth on ya'. And she's just like this little bunny, who's just kinda cowering in the corner.

Sue: Shivering.

Trent: Yeah, man just kinda... you know, you got these claws and you're staring at these claws and your thinking to yourself, and with these claws you're thinking, "How am I supposed to kill this bunny, how am I supposed to kill this bunny?"

Sue: And you're poking at it, you're poking at it...

Trent: Yeah, you're not hurting it. You're just kinda gently batting the bunny around, you know what I mean? And the bunny's scared Mike, the bunny's scared of you, shivering.

Sue: And you got these ****ing claws and these fangs...

Trent: And you got these ****ing claws and these fangs, man! And you're looking at your claws and you're looking at your fangs. And you're thinking to yourself, you don't know what to do, man. "I don't know how to kill the bunny." With *this* you don't know how to kill the bunny, do you know what I mean?

Sue: You're like a big bear, man.
------------------------------------------------------

*Don't make the bear hurt you two little bunnies.*


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## hollywood (Feb 15, 2005)

Sean9689 said:


> You guys are so cute. :r
> 
> Kinda reminds me of the movie, Swingers:
> 
> ...


:rMFAO!


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## zemekone (Aug 1, 2004)

ooo


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## The Dakotan (Jun 4, 2007)

aren't they cute? Will D take D to school? Or will will D get midwestern on D? who knows ... 

I've found that darrel likes to threaten people. I hope that makes you feel better mr. shady.


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## hollywood (Feb 15, 2005)

zemekone said:


> ooo


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

hollywood said:


> :rMFAO!


:tpd:

This is between me and Mr. Yellow-Bellied Hollywood, there. There ain't no need for this to expand into a broader midwestern v. southern battle, Sean....


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## Sean9689 (Nov 9, 2005)

The Professor said:


> :tpd:
> 
> This is between me and Mr. Yellow-Bellied Hollywood, there. There ain't no need for this to expand into a broader midwestern v. southern battle, Sean....


FYI, the South has nothing on the Midwest. If you can't take the heat...


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## Puffy69 (Sep 8, 2005)

The Professor said:


> tick tock.
> 
> this ain't over.
> 
> now that a certain missourian has blown his wad, it's time to get serious. :cb


Thats what i like to hear..Show him who the man is Darrel..LoL


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

I don't know if you can respond to a hit like that, man. That's a good old fashioned beat down.


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

Sean9689 said:


> FYI, the South has nothing on the Midwest. If you can't take the heat...


Hey there, partner ... no one invited you to this rodeo. :cb

FYI, "The South" would include some formidable territory and opponents.....










Anyway ... this has nothing to do with you, Mr. Sean. :chk


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## SmokeyJoe (Oct 3, 2006)

Whew! The Professor sounds serious. Gilligan never saw this side of him... :ss


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## hollywood (Feb 15, 2005)

The Professor said:


> :tpd:
> 
> This is between me and *Mr. Yellow-Bellied Hollywood*, there. There ain't no need for this to expand into a broader midwestern v. southern battle, Sean....


excuse me!?!? i'm not sure if that doesn't warrant another bitch slapping!?


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## Puffy69 (Sep 8, 2005)

hollywood said:


> excuse me!?!? i'm not sure if that doesn't warrant another bitch slapping!?


nod..you did bitch slap him a little.made him look like a little tiny bitch too.LoL


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

Rock Star said:


> nod..you did bitch slap him a little.made him look like a little tiny bitch too.LoL


no comment.


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## hollywood (Feb 15, 2005)

The Professor said:


> no comment.


he he.

as it should be mister!


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## The Dakotan (Jun 4, 2007)

The Professor said:


> no comment.





hollywood said:


> he he.
> 
> as it should be mister!


*mommy and daddy are fighting*


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

The Dakotan said:


> *mommy and daddy are fighting*


...well we wouldn't be if mommy wasn't such a fukking WHORE!!!!!


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## madurofan (Sep 8, 2005)

The Professor said:


> ...well we wouldn't be if mommy wasn't such a fukking WHORE!!!!!


Is this escalating in to a lover's quarrel? :r


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## hollywood (Feb 15, 2005)

madurofan said:


> Is this escalating in to a lover's quarrel? :r


feeling left out?:r


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## The Dakotan (Jun 4, 2007)

The Professor said:


> ...well we wouldn't be if mommy wasn't such a fukking WHORE!!!!!


are you talking about yourself in the third person again? :r



hollywood said:


> feeling left out?:r


I think he is ...


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

hollywood said:


> feeling left out?:r


:r :r :r

fukk it -- we should gang up and bomb the hell out of Bill! :r :r


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## madurofan (Sep 8, 2005)

The Professor said:


> :r :r :r
> 
> fukk it -- we should gang up and bomb the hell out of Bill! :r :r


Oh no you don't. Don't drag me in to your little spat. :r:r


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## Ron1YY (Mar 3, 2005)

madurofan said:


> Oh no you don't. Don't drag me in to your little spat. :r:r


"Go ahead, skin it! Skin that smoke wagon and see what happens." :tu :ss

Ron


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

Ron1YY said:


> "Go ahead, skin it! Skin that smoke wagon and see what happens." :tu :ss
> 
> Ron


"What did you want?"


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

(guess I stumped him....)


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## Ron1YY (Mar 3, 2005)

The Professor said:


> "What did you want?"


Nothing.....I have what I need......

Ron


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

Ron1YY said:


> Nothing.....I have what I need......
> 
> Ron


I'm sorry -- the correct answer was, "Just to live a normal life."

Sheesh! And I thought you knew the movie....


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## hollywood (Feb 15, 2005)

Ok you little biotche!! So ... you wanna play dirty!?!? We can rumble!!

Here's what the fukker sends me today! Totally cool and way unexpected!! Bastage!!

Clicky on the pic!!
http://s36.photobucket.com/albums/e10/ashlea30/?action=view&current=8021452c.pbw

Dirty punk! :tu


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

hollywood said:


> Ok you little biotche!! So ... you wanna play dirty!?!? We can rumble!!
> 
> Here's what the fukker sends me today! Totally cool and way unexpected!! Bastage!!
> 
> ...


Huh.... They're probably fake, anyway. 

Enjoy, phucker. I've still got a little bit more up my sleeves.  :fu

PS, you've got nothing on me. How you gonna rumble without LOLH for another year?!?!?!?!? :r


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## hollywood (Feb 15, 2005)

The Professor said:


> Huh.... They're probably fake, anyway.
> 
> Enjoy, phucker. I've still got a little bit more up my sleeves.  :fu
> 
> PS, you've got nothing on me. *How you gonna rumble without LOLH for another year?!?!?!?!?* :r


'Cause I'm smart! I know stuff!!

_...... and i'm one shady MOFO!!_


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

hollywood said:


> 'Cause I'm smart! I know stuff!!
> 
> _...... and i'm one shady MOFO!!_


I'll agree about the shady part.  :r


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## The Dakotan (Jun 4, 2007)

Those look amazing. It looks like there is more than meets the eye to Herr Doktor ... maybe he is a robot in disguise?


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

The Dakotan said:


> Those look amazing. It looks like there is more than meets the eye to Herr Doktor ... maybe he is a robot in disguise?


I hope I'm Optimus Prime  :tu


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## Papichulo (Jan 21, 2007)

The Professor said:


> I hope I'm Optimus Prime  :tu


Nice hit Darrel!!!!


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

I feel a rumblin' in my belly. It's almost time to put this little *Havana puros* conflict to rest (no changing the rules on my, Dave). The bird should depart tomorrow or Saturday; so enjoy your last weekend, bro....

:bx :gn :bx

:r :r :r


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## hollywood (Feb 15, 2005)




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## The Dakotan (Jun 4, 2007)

this is getting good ... well, bad for mr. shady.


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

No offense here, teach, but I think you got schooled... :tu

Can't wait to see if you can regain control of the class!


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

DBall said:


> No offense here, teach, but I think you got schooled... :tu
> 
> Can't wait to see if you can regain control of the class!


I think you may have missed the *box* of Cohibas he got last week....


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## DBall (Jun 4, 2007)

The Professor said:


> I think you may have missed the *box* of Cohibas he got last week....


Oh crap... I thought _he _sent _you _the box. As Willy Wonka says, "Strike that, reverse it..."

Anyway, I'm gonna go now an put some seasoning on my foot so it tastes better. Thanks for the clarification! :tu


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

DBall said:


> Oh crap... I thought _he _sent _you _the box. As Willy Wonka says, "Strike that, reverse it..."
> 
> Anyway, I'm gonna go now an put some seasoning on my foot so it tastes better. Thanks for the clarification! :tu


LoL ... no worries mate. 

Now I just have to properly plot the full extent of my revenge. Methinks I'll follow a shotgun wedding theme: something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. :gn :gn :gn


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

Oh ... I forgot to mention: package went out Saturday. It should be delivered about now.  :fu


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## hollywood (Feb 15, 2005)

The Professor said:


> LoL ... no worries mate.
> 
> Now I just have to properly plot the full extent of my revenge. Methinks I'll follow a shotgun wedding theme: something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. :gn :gn :gn


FUGGIN' BASTAGE!!!!

You just have to win; don't you!?!? I have now been officially beat down like a little b*tch ...... for now!! Check out this monstrosity that leveled my ash today!!

I think we should call it an ash-whoopin' in either direction and leave it at that before this gets real ugly! No? Ok ..... you asked for it!!


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

Muahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

Punk.


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## hollywood (Feb 15, 2005)

The Professor said:


> Muahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
> 
> Punk.


now i can be a pipe snob, too!!:tu:r


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

hollywood said:


> now i can be a pipe snob, too!!:tu:r


Thought you'd like that ... I could hear the jealousy in your voice every time I smoked some. :r :r :r

Hold off on the 109 -- it needs a little rest. Maybe we can smoke them together this winter or something. That Demi Tip should be smoked solo (it's the rule, dammit). And that Guantanamera should be used in any manner *except* as a cigar. :r


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## hollywood (Feb 15, 2005)

The Professor said:


> Thought you'd like that ... I could hear the jealousy in your voice every time I smoked some. :r :r :r
> 
> Hold off on the 109 -- it needs a little rest. Maybe we can smoke them together this winter or something. That Demi Tip should be smoked solo (it's the rule, dammit). *And that Guantanamera should be used in any manner *except* as a cigar.* :r


:r:r:r:r

i think the 109 will rest indefinitely or until i can find a 5er somewhere!?!?!


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

hollywood said:


> :r:r:r:r
> 
> i think the 109 will rest indefinitely or until i can find a 5er somewhere!?!?!


Excuse me? That is not how this works, sir.


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## jmcrawf1 (May 2, 2007)

hollywood said:


> FUGGIN' BASTAGE!!!!
> 
> You just have to win; don't you!?!? I have now been officially beat down like a little b*tch ...... for now!! Check out this monstrosity that leveled my ash today!!
> 
> I think we should call it an ash-whoopin' in either direction and leave it at that before this gets real ugly! No? Ok ..... you asked for it!!


GOOD GOD!!!

BTW, what's that weird "Blue" cigar??? :chk


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