# Dear Shuckins



## gasdocok (May 14, 2011)

Dear Mr. Shuckins,

I am writing to express the thanks of myself and the entire US Postal Service for the great work that you have done in service to your country.

It has come to my attention that if it were not for you, the federal government would have long ago closed the doors of thousands of post offices around the country. My sources tell me that the operating losses of the postal service would be at least 25% higher were it not for you and stamp prices would have risen to $4.70 for a first class letter. 

Also, since the Postal Service is the second largest civilian employer in the country, you have single-handedly saved hundreds of jobs in this recovering economy.

The USPS handles 563 million pieces of mail every day. When you take out the credit card applications and advertisements for home improvement outfits, we have calculated that you are responsible for approximately half of this daily volume.

In addition, you have inspired a generation of others to continue to utilize the mail service on a weekly, if not daily basis for the sending of unsolicited packages.

Again, I, the entire postal service, and all Americans thank you for your generosity in supporting the mission of the USPS.

Very truly yours,

Patrick R. Donahoe
Postmaster General of the United States





*please note that the above is a work of fiction, any similarity to any actual people or events is purely coincidental. The original poster is not nor is he pretending to be a US government official (as doing so would be a crime). :first:


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## Mr_mich (Sep 2, 2010)

Fiction or not, the Postmater General SHOULD send Ron a thank you letter. Do you see how many freaking boxes he has been sending out lately!


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## Oldmso54 (Jul 31, 2010)

Mr_mich said:


> Fiction or not, the Postmater General SHOULD send Ron a thank you letter. Do you see how many freaking boxes he has been sending out lately!


+1 to that! And too freakin funny -:r


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## chewwy26 (Mar 29, 2011)

gasdocok said:


> Dear Mr. Shuckins,
> 
> I am writing to express the thanks of myself and the entire US Postal Service for the great work that you have done in service to your country.
> 
> ...


ROFLMAO now thats about as funny as it gets 
thanks for the laugh man:bump:


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## bbasaran (Mar 20, 2011)

well those are truh words (even if its fiction)


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## Adam (Jun 17, 2010)

Sounds like facts to me...


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## shuckins (Jun 24, 2009)

thank you mr general!
and thanks for requiring every house to have a mail box...lol


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## gasdocok (May 14, 2011)

Good thing they didn't require every mailbox to remain in one piece!

You have inspired many brothers with your generous nature, Ron.


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## titlowda (Jan 23, 2011)

shuckins said:


> thank you mr general!
> and thanks for requiring every house to have a mail box...lol


A mailbox or a target?


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## BMack (Dec 8, 2010)

That was an amazing post. RG bump for sure!

I hear Canada Post's number one grievance and reason for the strike is because they're tired of delivering Ron's USPS boxes.


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## JustOneMoreStick (Sep 21, 2009)

Sounds about right.

Thanks to Ron and all of the troop supporters for keeping the troops taken care of and and the post office regretting turning us loose with flat rate boxes.


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## Tashy (Apr 5, 2011)

_That is PRICELESS, and so very true. The Master Bomber is amazing. :kiss:_


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## ejgarnut (Sep 28, 2009)

he is shuckins!


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## gasdocok (May 14, 2011)

Well, noob that I am, I can't figure out how to see who has bumped my RG so one big thanks to any of you that have done so.

Glad I could make some folks laugh today.
:biggrin1:


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## Firedawg (Nov 8, 2010)

Mr_mich said:


> Fiction or not, the Postmater General SHOULD send Ron a thank you letter. Do you see how many freaking boxes he has been sending out lately!


isnt blowing up a mailbox a crime? :doh:

Home Depot should send him a thank you note also!


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## SmokinSpider (May 12, 2010)

United Shuckins Postal Service, Has a nice ring to it.


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## Tashy (Apr 5, 2011)

SmokinSpider said:


> United Shuckins Postal Service, Has a nice ring to it.


_Ha Ha I agree !_


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## l330n (Mar 24, 2011)

SmokinSpider said:


> United Shuckins Postal Service, Has a nice ring to it.


Hahaha, nice.


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## MarkC (Jul 4, 2009)

As a self-styled internet clown, all I can say is well played, sir; well played!


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## Tritones (Jun 23, 2010)

gasdocok said:


> Well, noob that I am, I can't figure out how to see who has bumped my RG so one big thanks to any of you that have done so.
> 
> Glad I could make some folks laugh today.
> :biggrin1:


I'm on my way to bump you now. Go to your "User Controls" page and scroll down past the list of subscribed threads with new posts. There you'll have it.

Then you can click on the name of the person who gave you RG, and that takes you to their profile page where you can leave a visitorr message. Usually. Some sociophobes don't allow visitor messages. Yeah, you know who you are, and yeah, I called you sociophobes ...


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## chewwy26 (Mar 29, 2011)

shuckins said:


> thank you mr general!
> and thanks for requiring every house to have a mail box...lol


lmao you are too much man :rotfl:


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## CALIFORNIA KID (Nov 21, 2010)

because of Ron we need a new Puff award.

The "I'm a cigar bombing WMD" award


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## Mante (Dec 25, 2009)

Do NOT taunt Ron. Do NOT mention anything you may like to try. Do NOT interact with him in PM. Do NOT become a Newbie (Little late for most, me included). Do NOT trade with Ron. All these tenets I have learned from my time as his friend. All or any will lead to this>>>>:scared::whoo::biggrin1::behindsofa:


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## NoShhhSherlock (Mar 30, 2011)

gasdocok said:


> Dear Mr. Shuckins,
> 
> I am writing to express the thanks of myself and the entire US Postal Service for the great work that you have done in service to your country.
> 
> ...


I believe Ron is the head of his local post office! How else could he ship such a large volume of bombs out of there without being nabbed by the proper authorities.


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## bukowski548 (Oct 23, 2010)

In my intro thread someone mentioned "Shuckins Alert". I meant to ask what that meant, but now I'm scared to ask. 


buk


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## szyzk (Nov 27, 2010)

CALIFORNIA KID said:


> because of Ron we need a new Puff award.
> 
> The "I'm a cigar bombing WMD" award


Or, "I'm a cigar bombing wizard".


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## Big Bull (Mar 22, 2011)

titlowda said:


> A mailbox or a target?


Is there a difference??


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## StayingWarm (Nov 2, 2007)

My evening before Shuckins - Sat on a runway in a plane for two hours because the pilot was late in filling out paperwork, which caused us to get hit with a huge storm and delay takeoff, then the cab I was in got rear-ended -and not lightly - in a hit & run.

My evening after Shuckins - A six-finger bag filled with all manners of smokey delights. (see pic, still don't know how to post in body of message). Totally unexpected and definitely made my day. Thanks, man, you're amazing!


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## Tritones (Jun 23, 2010)

Tashaz said:


> Do NOT taunt Ron. Do NOT mention anything you may like to try. Do NOT interact with him in PM. Do NOT become a Newbie (Little late for most, me included). Do NOT trade with Ron. All these tenets I have learned from my time as his friend. All or any will lead to this>>>>:scared::whoo::biggrin1::behindsofa:


This should be in a newbie orientation sticky thread.


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## Josh Lucky 13 (Dec 23, 2010)

great post


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## lord sevein (Aug 31, 2010)

What's a Shuckins?

:wink:


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## fiddlegrin (Feb 8, 2009)

Hahahahahahaha!

I'm so glad this got bumped! I missed it back in July...

:rockon:

.


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## n00b (Jul 18, 2011)

lord sevein said:


> What's a Shuckins?
> 
> :wink:


hahaha...

:jaw:


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

Nice one Matt! Tried to give you an RG bump, but apparently one has to "spread it around" a bit first. *argh* I'll hit you later, though.


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## gasdocok (May 14, 2011)

It's amazing sometimes the threads that return from the dead. Just re-read this. Still like it


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## anonobomber (Aug 29, 2011)

LOL! Thanks for the laugh!


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## Marlboro Cigars-cl (Feb 19, 2007)

Shuckins is Santa on the computer. :tu


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## Jay106n (Nov 3, 2011)

Haha this cracked me up


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## lebz (Mar 26, 2011)

He even is a great provider to Canada Post !


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## raylol16 (Aug 4, 2011)

lol this is hilarious but so true!


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## 36Bones (Aug 18, 2011)

I've been Shuckins'd. This past month for me, has been a personal hell. Today I received a gift from God. I will not go into detail, but I feel like life *is *worth living, when people you don't know personally, go out of their way, to make you feel appreciated. So, Shuckins, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I will pass it on.


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## Staxed (Oct 16, 2011)

36Bones said:


> I've been Shuckins'd. This past month for me, has been a personal hell. Today I received a gift from God. I will not go into detail, but I feel like life *is *worth living, when people you don't know personally, go out of their way, to make you feel appreciated. So, Shuckins, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I will pass it on.


glad you got something to cheer you up man! Hang in there. I don't know what's going on of course, but as cliche as it sounds...thing get better eventually! Enjoy the sticks, and gratz on being #24


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## Adam (Jun 17, 2010)

Staxed said:


> glad you got something to cheer you up man! Hang in there. I don't know what's going on of course, but as cliche as it sounds...thing get better eventually! Enjoy the sticks, *and gratz on being #24*


Doesn't count!!!!! He didn't start a new thread!!!!! :lol:


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## LLave (Oct 21, 2011)

Hah so true! Shuckins leveled many of us. Rapid fire!


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## Michigan_Moose (Oct 11, 2011)

shuckins said:


> thank you mr general!
> and thanks for requiring every house to have a mail box...lol


The Home Depot and Lowes should pay you your share of the profits!


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## Staxed (Oct 16, 2011)

Adam said:


> Doesn't count!!!!! He didn't start a new thread!!!!! :lol:


it does count, I have already spoken to Shuckins about this


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## MitchellF (Oct 15, 2004)

I can confirm one more mailbox left in pieces! Since my mailbox is on my front porch I also acquired some structural damage to the porch. A most awesome bomb and the time it took to package and send them must have been tremendous....All I can say is that when you get bombed by Shuckins you will know it! Thanks for the great surprise.


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## Staxed (Oct 16, 2011)

MitchellF said:


> I can confirm one more mailbox left in pieces! Since my mailbox is on my front porch I also acquired some structural damage to the porch. A most awesome bomb and the time it took to package and send them must have been tremendous....All I can say is that when you get bombed by Shuckins you will know it! Thanks for the great surprise.


As grotesque as it sounds, I'm extremely happy for you on the recent destruction, lol...chalk it up to bomb #33


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## mturnmm (May 18, 2011)

nealw6971 said:


> Nice one Matt! Tried to give you an RG bump, but apparently one has to "spread it around" a bit first. *argh* I'll hit you later, though.


Helped out with that RG bump for you!!


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## Flugplatz (Nov 24, 2009)

...And he's still doing it! ROTFLMAO!


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## Marlboro Cigars-cl (Feb 19, 2007)

Shuckins is the best. :tu


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