# I got slam busted!



## Puffy69 (Sep 8, 2005)

Man..It sucks that the only way to purchase the goods online is on Credit. I usually handle the finances and figured I would make some purchased on the down low (you married men know what im talkin about. Except for DaKlugs. lol) Well, just happened to be the one time the credit card co. decides to call and check on the matter..Questioning the charge. She is talking to the merchant on the other line (without me knowing)while talking to me and asking if I had made a charge. Im trying to swindle my way out but she then goes to conference call with all 3 of us. Im busted..I tell the lady I made the FN charge and we hang up with her and handle our situation.Why! Did you lie!!.She claims we're spending too much on the leaf. Its never too much,I reply.. Wrong answer again. But she was more mad that I tried to be slick than actually making the purchase..So next time I will buy first,Then tell her. lol..This damn slope is a bitch sometimes!


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## ToddziLLa (Oct 17, 2005)

That happened to me just last week! Lady called to verify the charge and I got busted by the ball-and-chain. Life goes on. :w 

She said "I see you have bought cigars before, but this one was out of the country and I just wanted to call and verify it." Thanks for telling my business to someone other than me when I'm not home lady.


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## Charles (Sep 28, 2005)

ToddziLLa said:


> That happened to me just last week! Lady called to verify the charge and I got busted by the ball-and-chain. Life goes on. :w
> 
> She said "I see you have bought cigars before, but this one was out of the country and I just wanted to call and verify it." Thanks for telling my business to someone other than me when I'm not home lady.


What site did you order from? Want to make sure that I never go there.


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## NCatron (Sep 7, 2005)

Charles said:


> What site did you order from? Want to make sure that I never go there.


I don't think it's the particular site he ordered from, it's more the fact that he ordered from overseas.

Of course, if you ordered from certain countries it might look less fishy than others but either way your CC company might want to verify.


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## DonWeb (Jul 3, 2005)

had my card number hijacked awhile back.

the cc company called to ask about charges in botswana (which i didn't make). i didn't have to pay (2 large). i was appreciative.

guess it depends on the context.


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## ToddziLLa (Oct 17, 2005)

NCatron said:


> I don't think it's the particular site he ordered from, it's more the fact that he ordered from overseas.
> 
> Of course, if you ordered from certain countries it might look less fishy than others but either way your CC company might want to verify.


That is correct. It was an overseas charge and I am appreciative of their commitment to security. Other than the fact they told my business to someone but me, I had no problem whatsoever with them calling. They said it would be the only time.


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## dayplanner (Dec 11, 1997)

Guys.... if you don't want the ol ball and chain to know, simply do this.....

Get a CC in your name only
and
Use your personal cell phone as the number to call.


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## dayplanner (Dec 11, 1997)

flipflop said:


> Guys.... if you don't want the ol ball and chain to know, simply do this.....
> 
> Get a CC in your name only
> and
> Use your personal cell phone as the number to call.


This has worked like a charm for me!

You married guys MUST have a secret account for the leaf!


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## Bruce (Dec 31, 1999)

Your own card is a must if you are married!
The only problem is you can get yourself into some deep water if your self control is weak!


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## Bruce (Dec 31, 1999)

PS: Never lie to your wife!.....not worth it and it always causes more problems.


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## Navydoc (Jan 26, 2005)

Does this mean you're not going in on the 6 box splits we talked about.... :r 
Just checking..


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## IamLoki (Sep 10, 2005)

Bruce said:


> PS: Never lie to your wife!.....not worth it and it always causes more problems.


You can say that again.

An off topic story: 15 or so years ago, my wife decides she's going to spend the w/e at her mothers. My Best Friend at the time decided it would be fun to drive up Friday night to Vegas. We did. Had to stay the night, yada, yada yada. About 2 months went by, and my wife asked me if I went to Vegas around that time, and of course I looked her straight in the eyes and said no. Then she shows me the receipt of the hotel that she found in my jacket yelling, "then what the f#@k is this?

Yes, *NEVER* lie to your wife. It *WILL* bite you in the a$$ one day.


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## RPB67 (Mar 26, 2005)

Bruce said:


> Your own card is a must if you are married!
> The only problem is you can get yourself into some deep water if your self control is weak!


Your own card is a must.

A high limit helps as well.


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## Dr. Stogie Fresh (Nov 18, 2005)

The way I deal with it is, my wife and I have three accounts. One is the joint account in which we put certain amounts of money to cover our budget. Then, both she and I have our own separate checking accounts that we use to spend on whatever we want. She can shop QVC all she wants as long as it comes from her personal account. I shop the stogie line and we are both happy.


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## par (May 22, 2005)

I do as the doctor does. I got my own account and what goes on in that accounts is my own little secrets... (and yes, that includes the stogies)...


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## ToddziLLa (Oct 17, 2005)

Dr. Stogie Fresh said:


> The way I deal with it is, my wife and I have three accounts. One is the joint account in which we put certain amounts of money to cover our budget. Then, both she and I have our own separate checking accounts that we use to spend on whatever we want. She can shop QVC all she wants as long as it comes from her personal account. I shop the stogie line and we are both happy.


 :tpd: This is what my girlfriend and I have decided on when we get hitched. She can buy as many Coach bags as she wants, and I can spend as much on stogies and my truck as I want! We are both happy that way. :w


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## illuminatus (Oct 20, 2005)

Hooray For Being Single!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Puffy69 (Sep 8, 2005)

Navydoc said:


> Does this mean you're not going in on the 6 box splits we talked about.... :r
> Just checking..


Ohhhh..Were splittin..I just need you to do my ordering for now on..lol..


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## cls515 (Sep 28, 2005)

...married life....


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## FunkyPorcini (Jan 13, 2005)

You married guys need to grow a sack. Why do you let women run your life and keep you from doing things that make you happy.

_ducking_

Oh, that's right because they are what you want to do to stay happy.

Sorry.

I still own my *****. I guess I'm new at this.

_ducking again_


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## Puffy69 (Sep 8, 2005)

FunkyPorcini said:


> You married guys need to grow a sack. Why do you let women run your life and keep you from doing things that make you happy.
> 
> _ducking_
> 
> ...


Question is...Do you get to use your *****?

ducking


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## FunkyPorcini (Jan 13, 2005)

roboman said:


> Question is...Do you get to use your *****?
> 
> ducking


Using it right now for all you know


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## Uncle_Fern (Nov 19, 2005)

roboman said:


> Man..It sucks that the only way to purchase the goods online is on Credit. I usually handle the finances and figured I would make some purchased on the down low (you married men know what im talkin about. Except for DaKlugs. lol) Well, just happened to be the one time the credit card co. decides to call and check on the matter..Questioning the charge. She is talking to the merchant on the other line (without me knowing)while talking to me and asking if I had made a charge. Im trying to swindle my way out but she then goes to conference call with all 3 of us. Im busted..I tell the lady I made the FN charge and we hang up with her and handle our situation.Why! Did you lie!!.She claims we're spending too much on the leaf. Its never too much,I reply.. Wrong answer again. But she was more mad that I tried to be slick than actually making the purchase..So next time I will buy first,Then tell her. lol..This damn slope is a bitch sometimes!


I thought I taught you better than that??????? :sb


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## CarpeDNA (Sep 11, 2005)

Bruce said:


> PS: Never lie to your wife!.....not worth it and it always causes more problems.


I humbly concur on that one!


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## cigar no baka (Sep 7, 2005)

I'm totally honest with my wife about my cigar purchases. But since she's been a cig smoker for the 14.2years we've been married, I've got a long way to go to catch up to all those 25$ cartons.


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## IHT (Dec 27, 2003)

roboman said:


> Man..It sucks that the only way to purchase the goods online is on Credit.


don't use credit. use a debit card. you can't spend what you don't have. also, a seperate account works great, one that the wife doesn't have access to and a phone # that only goes to YOU.


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## Txdawg (Sep 9, 2005)

roboman said:


> Man..It sucks that the only way to purchase the goods online is on Credit. I usually handle the finances and figured I would make some purchased on the down low (you married men know what im talkin about. Except for DaKlugs. lol) Well, just happened to be the one time the credit card co. decides to call and check on the matter..Questioning the charge. She is talking to the merchant on the other line (without me knowing)while talking to me and asking if I had made a charge. Im trying to swindle my way out but she then goes to conference call with all 3 of us. Im busted..I tell the lady I made the FN charge and we hang up with her and handle our situation.Why! Did you lie!!.She claims we're spending too much on the leaf. Its never too much,I reply.. Wrong answer again. But she was more mad that I tried to be slick than actually making the purchase..So next time I will buy first,Then tell her. lol..This damn slope is a bitch sometimes!


Man, that really sucks. But I did laugh my butt of at the story, I have been caught in those types of situations many times over my 25 years of marriage :bx


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## joed (Nov 12, 2005)

There is an old saying - Forgiveness is always easier to get than permission!!


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## Puffy69 (Sep 8, 2005)

joed said:


> There is an old saying - Forgiveness is always easier to get than permission!!


I like it..


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## dayplanner (Dec 11, 1997)

FunkyPorcini said:


> Using it right now for all you know


That would explain your vibrating sig tag.


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## Brandon (Dec 11, 1997)

I have 3 words for you:

SEPARATE CHECKING ACCOUNTS


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## AJ Pops (Nov 24, 2005)

I usually find that when my gal is telling me that I'm spending too much on cigars, I really am spending too much on cigars for our income. Yeah, I know, there's no such thing as spending too much on cigars, but I've gone down the road of too much credit card debt before and it really sucks. So now I use IHT's method, the debit card. Can't spend what I don't have. That goes for audio/video components, electronics, and other toys, too. 

We have a budget and we both get "allowance" from what is true "expendable income." It really helps keep the peace and eliminates financial conflict. It's just easier. I don't get as many smokes as I want, but that's a price I'm willing to pay for domestic tranquility. 

In the meanwhile I'm content to build my collection slowly and smoke 'em when I get 'em. (Or age 'em when I get 'em, as it were.)

That's how I handle it, for what it's worth.


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## Puffy69 (Sep 8, 2005)

Thanks Guys for your replies and advise. I dont have a credit card debt issue. I like to pay cash for everything I buy but most vendors only take Credit cards, not debit cards. I pay my charge completely off every month. Who accepts debit? Please advise via PM


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## RenoB (Oct 12, 2005)

IHT said:


> don't use credit. use a debit card. you can't spend what you don't have.


Never, ever , ever use a debit card on-line!!! If what happened to dumonweb with his number getting hijacked happens with a debit card, they will empty anything you've got in your account.

Yeah, the bank might give it back to you because of fraudulent use but that could take time (couple of weeks in my experience). So how are you gonna live with no money for that period?


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## Puffy69 (Sep 8, 2005)

RenoB said:


> Never, ever , ever use a debit card on-line!!! If what happened to dumonweb with his number getting hijacked happens with a debit card, they will empty anything you've got in your account.
> 
> Yeah, the bank might give it back to you because of fraudulent use but that could take time (couple of weeks in my experience). So how are you gonna live with no money for that period?


True..True..


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## cigar no baka (Sep 7, 2005)

RenoB said:


> Never, ever , ever use a debit card on-line!!! If what happened to dumonweb with his number getting hijacked happens with a debit card, they will empty anything you've got in your account.
> 
> Yeah, the bank might give it back to you because of fraudulent use but that could take time (couple of weeks in my experience). So how are you gonna live with no money for that period?


Good luck on them emptying my account, exactly 48 hours after I get paid it is empty after paying bills and buying necessities (cigars).


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## Lamar (Dec 12, 1997)

: The Donkey's Tale


> >THE DONKEY
>>One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried
>>piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
>>Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be
>>covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
>>
>>He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all
>>grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the
> 
>>donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to
>>everyone's amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the
>>farmer finally looked down the well.
>>He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit
>>his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it
>>off and take a step up.
>>
>>As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the
>>animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon,
>>everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well
> 
>>and happily trotted off!
>>
>>THE POINT OF THIS STORY: "Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all
> kinds 
>>of
>>dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take
> 
>>a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of
>>the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off
>>and take a step up."
>>
>>Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
>>
>>1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
>>2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.
>>3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.
>>4. Give more.
>>5. Expect less
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>NOW . . 
>>
>>Enough of that crap . . . The donkey later came back, and bit the shit
> 
>>out of the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite
>>got infected, and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic
>>shock.
>>
>>MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:
>>
>>When you do something wrong, and try to cover your ass, it always
>>comes back to bite you.


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## Lamar (Dec 12, 1997)

In addition to having a seperate card tied to the work number and my PO Box, I throw the little woman perfume, a new dress, etc before I buy cigars so she has no place to go. Works for me.


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## ToddziLLa (Oct 17, 2005)

cigar no baka said:


> Good luck on them emptying my account, exactly 48 hours after I get paid it is empty after paying bills and buying necessities (cigars).


 :tpd: Glad I'm not alone! :r


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## God (May 5, 2004)

What a bunch of [email protected]$$ wonders... When my wife asks, I tell her...

She: What are you doing?
Me: Buying some cigars.
She: Okay (leaves the room)

She: What are you doing?
Me: Watching _______ (fill in blank with a sporting event).
She: Okay (leaves the room)

She: What are you doing?
Me: Buying _________ (fill in blank with new electronic gadget).
She: Okay (leaves the room)

She: What are you doing?
Me: Looking at naked women on the Internet.
She: Okay (sighs and leaves the room)


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## Puffy69 (Sep 8, 2005)

God said:


> What a bunch of [email protected]$$ wonders... When my wife asks, I tell her...
> 
> She: What are you doing?
> Me: Buying some cigars.
> ...


Good for you..Sounds boring to me though..


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## IHT (Dec 27, 2003)

RenoB said:


> Never, ever , ever use a debit card on-line!!! If what happened to dumonweb with his number getting hijacked happens with a debit card, they will empty anything you've got in your account.
> 
> Yeah, the bank might give it back to you because of fraudulent use but that could take time (couple of weeks in my experience). So how are you gonna live with no money for that period?


just now saw this, sorry to re-bring it up. 

i said this:


IHT said:


> you can't spend what you don't have. also, a seperate account works great, one that the wife doesn't have access to and a phone # that only goes to YOU.


so, if someone takes my #/identity, *THEY CAN'T SPEND WHAT I DON'T HAVE*.
see, i had an account that was strictly for purchasing cigars. so, the ONLY amount that was in there was my monthly cigar $$$. how could someone spend money on my debit card IF THERE'S NOTHING IN THERE?
put money in there, order cigars = no more money in there = none for someone to steal.

and freddy, a debit card works just like a credit card - mastercard/visa. but if you don't have enough $$ in there, you can't get what you want. 
just thought i'd finally clarify my position (a few years later).


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## burninator (Jul 11, 2006)

God said:


> What a bunch of [email protected]$$ wonders... When my wife asks, I tell her...
> 
> She: What are you doing?
> Me: Buying some cigars.
> ...


Sounds like you two spend a lot of time in separate rooms. 

Seriously, though, just be honest about it. My wife doesn't care for me smoking or collecting cigars, but she truly hates the thought that I might try to keep that part of my life a secret. So, I tell her when I'm ordering, and she just rolls her eyes and moves on. Before, the cigars would show up and there would have to be this long conversation about why I didn't mention cigars being on the way.


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## Kayak_Rat (Nov 28, 2005)

Actually Greg, if you have bounce protection on your checking account, you can spend more than you have. EX: I had $500 worht of bounce protection when my truck was broken into and wallet stolen. I had $150 in my account. The guy spent all $650 that was avaliable.


But I see what you are saying.


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## mosesbotbol (Sep 21, 2005)

Cash is king, or cash given to a buddy to order for a couple of sticks will do too... :tu


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## Da Klugs (Jan 8, 2005)

Honesty is the best policy.

Here is my theory and what I tell the wife:

Honey I view cigars as an investment/Friends with benefits kind of thing. They make me happy and also prevent me from doing other things that would cost as much or more.

The investment part is as follows:

Having accumulated enough cigars so that I smoke less than 2% of what I own in a given year means that so long as the remainder appeciates at a clip greater than 2% (I use 5-7% in my mental math), I am actually preserving capital (They are not going to go down in price) and generating an after tax return similar or better than some of our other conservative investments.

For newer collectors this means you can only smoke 2 cigars out of every 4boxes you buy until you have reached the 50x annual smoking inventory level..... so you need to buy many boxes.  Buying any less would destroy the whole investment process and cause us long term financial ruin.

Well that's my story and I'm sticking with it.


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## Sean9689 (Nov 9, 2005)

:r

Damn! You're good Dave!


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

I don't lie to my wife.
I prefer "omission".
However, if I must, I just give her back a dosage of her own medicine.

If she asks, did you order these cigars?
I say, yes, I did. Then I say, see, you never listen to me when I tell you something.

If she asks, is that a new box of cigars?
I say, no, I have had it for a while. Then I say, see, you never pay attention to me when I show you something.

If she asks, how much did you spend on cigars?
I ask, how much did you spend at the clothing store, the nail salon and the hair salon? (only had to use that once - she quickly told me to f... off and never asked again)

In the end, glad I don't really care what she spends and she does the same with me. We both think the same in terms of house first, then fun.


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## pinoyman (Jan 28, 2005)

*sometimes I used wy wife Credit Cards...*


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## Stonato~ (Dec 22, 2006)

burninator said:


> So, I tell her when I'm ordering, and she just rolls her eyes and moves on.


This made me chuckle. If I added the number of rolls in my wife's eyes I could certainly roll them across the city. I'm sure the total CS rolls would circle the globe (a few times). :w


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## donp (Mar 5, 2006)

Stonato~ said:


> This made me chuckle. If I added the number of rolls in my wife's eyes I could certainly roll them accross the city. I'm sure the total CS rolls would circle the globe (a few times). :w


Ya got that right :tu


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## Ermo (Jun 3, 2006)

:r Freddy that sucks man!!

I use the honesty thing, then when she buys stuff I don't care either. Works well, like Mo said.


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## DriftyGypsy (May 24, 2006)

It is sometimes better to ask forgiveness than permission... of course I am divorced so what do I know :ss :tu


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## Bigwaved (May 20, 2006)

DriftyGypsy said:


> It is sometimes better to ask forgiveness than permission... of course I am divorced so what do I know :ss :tu


That using that line may not always work...


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## Boston_Dude05 (Oct 10, 2006)

Da Klugs said:


> Honesty is the best policy.
> 
> Here is my theory and what I tell the wife:
> 
> ...


:r I like this one.


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## taltos (Feb 28, 2006)

Rock Star said:


> Question is...Do you get to use your *****?
> 
> ducking


He celebrated yesterday since it was Palm Sunday.

Ducking:ss


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## LasciviousXXX (Oct 12, 2004)

So Fred....... is Dawnie still pissed???? :r :r


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## Made in Dade (Aug 5, 2006)

Rock Star said:


> Man..It sucks that the only way to purchase the goods online is on Credit. I usually handle the finances and figured I would make some purchased on the down low (you married men know what im talkin about. Except for DaKlugs. lol) Well, just happened to be the one time the credit card co. decides to call and check on the matter..Questioning the charge. She is talking to the merchant on the other line (without me knowing)while talking to me and asking if I had made a charge. Im trying to swindle my way out but she then goes to conference call with all 3 of us. Im busted..I tell the lady I made the FN charge and we hang up with her and handle our situation.Why! Did you lie!!.She claims we're spending too much on the leaf. Its never too much,I reply.. Wrong answer again. But she was more mad that I tried to be slick than actually making the purchase..So next time I will buy first,Then tell her. lol..This damn slope is a bitch sometimes!


Sorry dude. I don't have that problem yet. Though, my day will come.


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## adsantos13 (Oct 10, 2006)

All my credit cards have my cell phone as my contact number. Problem solved :ss 

My wife is pretty cool though.


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## MeNimbus (Dec 18, 2006)

flipflop said:


> Guys.... if you don't want the ol ball and chain to know, simply do this.....
> 
> Get a CC in your name only
> and
> Use your personal cell phone as the number to call.


:tpd: This works like a charm. When you have a ball and chain simply apply for a new joint credit card with your significant other. You will have one credit card for personal use and the other joint for bills and miscellaneous purchases. :2

If my wife knew how much I spent she would probably :bx :gn :mn me


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## Puffy69 (Sep 8, 2005)

LasciviousXXX said:


> So Fred....... is Dawnie still pissed???? :r :r


Hell no.A lot has changed since then.She figured if she cant beat'em, join'em..Now that she can appreciate a good Cigar. She will only smoke Vintage cigars and is a snob about it.lol..So if we have the loot, i get to buy..Its just a matter of finding them..and i also gave her the investment schpuel that Dave speaks of. She bought it.


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## Bigwaved (May 20, 2006)

Rock Star said:


> Hell no.A lot has changed since then.She figured if she cant beat'em, join'em..Now that she can appreciate a good Cigar. She will only smoke Vintage cigars and is a snob about it.lol..So if we have the loot, i get to buy..Its just a matter of finding them..and i also gave her the investment schpuel that Dave speaks of. She bought it.


I got busted putting coilovers on my S4 when it was brand new...bad, bad, bad...


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## Puffy69 (Sep 8, 2005)

Bigwaved said:


> I got busted putting coilovers on my S4 when it was brand new...bad, bad, bad...


what? you didnt think she would notice the 4" drop?:r


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## Bigwaved (May 20, 2006)

Rock Star said:


> what? you didnt think she would notice the 4" drop?:r


The funny thing was that the paperwork sank me, not the sweet ride and go-cart cornering...


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

RenoB said:


> Never, ever , ever use a debit card on-line!!! If what happened to dumonweb with his number getting hijacked happens with a debit card, they will empty anything you've got in your account.
> 
> Yeah, the bank might give it back to you because of fraudulent use but that could take time (couple of weeks in my experience). So how are you gonna live with no money for that period?


Our Bank guarantee's a 24 hour turn around on funds being placed back in the account. In fact I thought all the banks offered that.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

God said:


> What a bunch of [email protected]$$ wonders... When my wife asks, I tell her...
> 
> She: What are you doing?
> Me: Buying some cigars.
> ...


Him: What are you doing?

She: **Crickets** Because she left your house, your marriage, and you with all the bills. heh.


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## wij (May 25, 2006)

Please tell me that ya'll don't know the pleasures of the "work shipping address". In addition that, when you get questioned on why you need a separate credit card, you reply that that is the card you use to buy her birthday presents with and you want it to remain a surprise.


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## ATLHARP (May 3, 2005)

illuminatus said:


> Hooray For Being Single!!!!!!!!!!!!


AMEN!:tpd:

ATL


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## Blueface (May 28, 2005)

ATLHARP said:


> AMEN!:tpd:
> 
> ATL


Andrew,
"Say hello to your little fren"
:r

Crap, what am I talking about. That should be what married people say.


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## Bigwaved (May 20, 2006)

Blueface said:


> Andrew,
> "Say hello to your little fren"
> :r
> 
> Crap, what am I talking about. That should be what married people say.


You never know, Carlos....Andrew may talk to himself.


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## mike32312 (Jan 26, 2006)

Bruce said:


> PS: Never lie to your wife!.....not worth it and it always causes more problems.


Disagree. Lying to my wife has kept us together now for over 20 years. If she knew the truth about alot of things I would of been divorced 19 years ago. :r


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## Studebaker (Jan 29, 2007)

Jokieman said:


> Him: What are you doing?
> 
> She: **Crickets** Because she left your house, your marriage, and you with all the bills. heh.


:tpd:

Like Aretha said, "R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me."


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