# Two Birds with one stone contest



## Da Klugs (Jan 8, 2005)

Made the decision to join the dark side. Put a post out in the Habanos lounge. Still need more input but (theoretically) I'm gonna need more space in the humi. For some time now I have eyed the glowing user names of the illustrious here with envy. I want one. Thus the two birds with one stone contest.

There will be a winner - who gets the questions right. And a runner-up he who posts the most times (in this thread) before the contest ends... lets say next friday. This will be two different people. For a postwhorus neewbus how appropriate eh?

BTW - I aint gonna count the posts if you get the runer-up prize then you tell me.

Answer the questions right.... One of each of the theoretical sticks plus a 64 aniv imp. and an opus x rob and maybe some extras.

Win the runner-up prize (as the largest contributor to my glowing name acquisiton) and you get..... minimum 50 cigars. This is meant fo ryou newbies or thinly stocked guys as a way of filling up the humi with a wide variety of smokes. There may be a couple Thompson stcks in there but generally I start at around $3-4 (online) for my sticks and up. I used to have a buying addiction so if you noticed the posting which replaced it you gotta know that you will be happy with the stash.

Here's the Questions:

1. How old are my daughters?

2. What magazine was I recently quoted in?

3. What is the cubic capacity of my humi?

4. What size shoe does Khat wear? (Khat PM me but don't squeel If you want to play use mine.)

5. Who has the largest RG in club stogie and how much is that?

6. How much will my theoretical first purchase cost. (closest .01) I'll post what but not from where by Monday night.

7. How many posts will Jeff have by 11:30 Friday night? Jeff if you play its how many I have by then will be our ultimate tiebreaker if needed.

Next Friday night at 11:30 this thing ends if no one has gotten the questions by then its the $ as a tie breaker or posts if $ same. So I hope this is of some interest and hmmm gotta think about what the right color is.


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## The Dutch (Apr 5, 2004)

Here's the Questions:

1. How old are my daughters?
15 & 17

2. What magazine was I recently quoted in?
SKI

3. What is the cubic capacity of my humi?
10 cubic ft

4. What size shoe does Khat wear? (Khat PM me but don't squeel If you want to play use mine.)
10.5

5. Who has the largest RG in club stogie and how much is that?
Is this a trick? I'd Say Lowland Louie but how much is that?
So Ill go with Khat @ 432

6. How much will my theoretical first purchase cost. (closest .01)
$879.45


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## SeanGAR (Jul 9, 2004)

1. How old are my daughters?

20, 21

2. What magazine was I recently quoted in?

Hustler? Nono, Telecommunications

3. What is the cubic capacity of my humi?

6.4 cubic feet

4. What size shoe does Khat wear? (Khat PM me but don't squeel If you want to play use mine.)

Small ....feet....he wears size 10.5

5. Who has the largest RG in club stogie and how much is that?

Dunno, did we bump Paul up? PDS 

6. How much will my theoretical first purchase cost. (closest .01) I'll post what but not from where by Monday night.

920

7. How many posts will Jeff have by 11:30 Friday night? Jeff if you play its how many I have by then will be our ultimate tiebreaker if needed.

13

Next Friday night at 11:30 this thing ends if no one has gotten the questions by then its the $ as a tie breaker or posts if $ same. So I hope this is of some interest and hmmm gotta think about what the right color is

red...no blue....ahhhhhhhhhhh

ediyted for speling (arar)


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## P-Town Smokes (Jan 7, 2005)

1. 16 & 19 of course and let me tell you there beautilful daughters  

2. Tele/comm

3. 6.9 Cu feet

4. 10. Med

5. PDS the Man

6. $ 988

7. 9 , Jeff slow down and we will split


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## Da Klugs (Jan 8, 2005)

Ding Ding one right. I gotta go watch diving (conference championships) be back later tonight.


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## P-Town Smokes (Jan 7, 2005)

ok, everyone, first one is right, now second thru 7. Yeah that will happen

Guess # 2. Was trying too search your post but got tires after the first 250 


P-Town Smokes said:


> 1. 16 & 19 of course and let me tell you there beautilful daughters
> 
> 2. WSJ, Wall Street Journal
> 
> ...


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## DonJefe (Dec 1, 2003)

1. How old are my daughters? 16 and 19

2. What magazine was I recently quoted in? Tele/comm

3. What is the cubic capacity of my humi? 18 cubic feet

4. What size shoe does Khat wear? (Khat PM me but don't squeel If you want to play use mine.) 9

5. Who has the largest RG in club stogie and how much is that? PDS 445

6. How much will my theoretical first purchase cost. (closest .01) I'll post what but not from where by Monday night. $600.00

7. How many posts will Jeff have by 11:30 Friday night? Jeff if you play its how many I have by then will be our ultimate tiebreaker if needed. 617


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## DonJefe (Dec 1, 2003)

So, the runner up prize if for post whoring?


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## DonJefe (Dec 1, 2003)

How does one become a post whore?


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## DonJefe (Dec 1, 2003)

Do you constantly post just for the sake of posting?


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## DonJefe (Dec 1, 2003)

Nobody wants to play?


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## DAFU (Dec 14, 2004)

1. 16 & 19 

2. Powder Magazine

3. 8.2 Cu feet

4. 11 1/2

5. PDS the Man 445

6. $ 938

7. 27


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

Da Klugs said:


> 1. How old are my daughters?
> 
> QUOTE]
> 
> 16 and 19


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

Da Klugs said:


> 3. What is the cubic capacity of my humi?


18 cubic foot humidor


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## Da Klugs (Jan 8, 2005)

Home from diving. I need a few to review the thread.


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

Da Klugs said:


> 2. What magazine was I recently quoted in?


Tele/comm


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## DonJefe (Dec 1, 2003)

Hey Klugs, how many credits do you need for your Glowing Username?


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

Da Klugs said:


> 6. How much will my theoretical first purchase cost.


6. $963.78


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## Da Klugs (Jan 8, 2005)

DonJefe said:


> So, the runner up prize if for post whoring?


Yes but its for a good cause.... Bright color here -->> Da Klugs <<--

I got about 550 in the bank.


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Thanks for a contest I needed something to do burn some time befor I go out. 

1. How old are my daughters? 16 and 19


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## DonJefe (Dec 1, 2003)

I'll see what I can do to help.


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

Da Klugs said:


> 4. What size shoe does Khat wear? (Khat PM me but don't squeel If you want to play use mine.)


4. size 10


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## DonJefe (Dec 1, 2003)

Why didn't I think of answering the questions one post at a time!

:tpd:


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

I figure I am a natural whor Ah I mean post whore I will take my time answering the questions.

2. What magazine was I recently quoted in? Tele/comm


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

Da Klugs said:


> 5. Who has the largest RG in club stogie and how much is that?


5. PDS has a ring gauge of 445

Though Lowland Louie ranks higher in "reputation"


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

I am bound to win one of these, as much as I post a day, this is right up my alley.

3. What is the cubic capacity of my humi? as you so well put it in Jeffs thread Hmmm... 18 cubic foot humidor. About 175 cigars per cubic foot. Less available space 2 cubic feet.

About 2800 or a 2 year supply.


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

Da Klugs said:


> 7. How many posts will Jeff have by 11:30 Friday night?


7. 24


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

4. What size shoe does Khat wear? (Khat PM me but don't squeel If you want to play use mine.)

I would have to guess, lets see 11.


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## Da Klugs (Jan 8, 2005)

Hey I just actually measured my humidor and .... wow was I wrong in a post here somewhere. It aint 18 cubic feet. I'm soo depressed. I have 3 Desktop humidors inside of it but they dont count. But shes still too full. Maybe the con job I have done on the wife all these years is wearing off on me.  

So still only one right.


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

Da Klugs said:


> Hey I just actually measured my humidor and .... wow was I wrong in a post here somewhere. It aint 18 cubic feet. I'm soo depressed. I have 3 Desktop humidors inside of it but they dont count. But shes still too full. Maybe the con job I have done on the wife all these years is wearing off on me.
> 
> So still only one right.


16.5 cubic feet


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## DonJefe (Dec 1, 2003)

I would like to win my first contest on CS, but the most important thing is that Klugs gets his name in lights!


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

DonJefe said:


> I would like to win my first contest on CS, but the most important thing is that Klugs gets his name in lights!


I think ...


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

CIGma_Chi said:


> I think ...


...we'd all like...


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## Da Klugs (Jan 8, 2005)

MM2(SW)S said:


> I am bound to win one of these, as much as I post a day, this is right up my alley.
> 
> 3. What is the cubic capacity of my humi? as you so well put it in Jeffs thread Hmmm... 18 cubic foot humidor. About 175 cigars per cubic foot. Less available space 2 cubic feet.
> 
> About 2800 or a 2 year supply.


Yea I know it was an exaggeration but it was based upon my poor math skills. Who would think I would do that. Just rough counted its more like 1300. I really didn't know.


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

CIGma_Chi said:


> ...we'd all like...


...to win something...


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Reputation what is that  I use to have the reputation when I was in highschool and college and navy. And I think after this thread I will have a reputation for something here too  

But to answer your question:


5. Who has the largest RG in club stogie and how much is that? When YOu go to the member list and click on reputation Lowland Louie is on top of the list followed by PDS then the great Khat.


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

CIGma_Chi said:


> ...to win something...


...every now-and-again...


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## DonJefe (Dec 1, 2003)

Da Klugs said:


> So still only one right.


So, which one is right? I say #1.


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

CIGma_Chi said:


> ...every now-and-again...


...but you're absolutely right...


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

CIGma_Chi said:


> ...but you're absolutely right...


...the important thing is...


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

CIGma_Chi said:


> ...the important thing is...


...to get Da Klugs name...


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

CIGma_Chi said:


> ...to get Da Klugs name...


...up in bright...


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## DonJefe (Dec 1, 2003)

I didn't know before today that you are only allowed to post once every 30 seconds. Interesting.


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

CIGma_Chi said:


> ...up in bright...


...shiny...


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

CIGma_Chi said:


> ...shiny...


...sparkling...


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## DonJefe (Dec 1, 2003)

CIGma_Chi said:


> ...up in bright...


OK this means


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

CIGma_Chi said:


> ...sparkling...


...glowing glory.


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## DonJefe (Dec 1, 2003)

all out...


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

CIGma_Chi said:


> ...glowing glory.


I am slowly ...


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Looking at my reasent purchases I would multiply that by 4 divide by 3 carry the 1 I come up with a whole lot of numbers so I would have to say.....

6. How much will my theoretical first purchase cost. (closest .01) I'll post what but not from where by Monday night.

$756.45 after shipping, wait there is no whipping fee for that purchase so $756.45 is the final cost.


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## DonJefe (Dec 1, 2003)

Post Whore


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## Da Klugs (Jan 8, 2005)

5. Who has the largest RG in club stogie and how much is that? When YOu go to the member list and click on reputation Lowland Louie is on top of the list followed by PDS then the great Khat.[/QUOTE]

Ding... (no Ding Ding) two parter. Moving target unless all answers are correct as this may change. (cmon he's almost there).

I didn't know you could pull up a reputation list. See something good out of this already.


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

CIGma_Chi said:


> I am slowly ...


...very slowly, mind you...


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## DonJefe (Dec 1, 2003)

WAR!!! :gn :gn :bx


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

CIGma_Chi said:


> ...very slowly, mind you...


...driving myself...


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

CIGma_Chi said:


> ...driving myself...


...INSANE...


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

DonJefe said:


> WAR!!! :gn :gn :bx


IF...


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## DonJefe (Dec 1, 2003)

CIGma_Chi said:


> ...INSANE...


That makes two of us!


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

7. How many posts will Jeff have by 11:30 Friday night? Jeff if you play its how many I have by then will be our ultimate tiebreaker if needed.
609 post total.


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

CIGma_Chi said:


> IF...


IT...


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

CIGma_Chi said:


> IT...


IS...


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

CIGma_Chi said:


> IS...


A...


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

CIGma_Chi said:


> A...


WAR...


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## DonJefe (Dec 1, 2003)

I might end up with my 4th bunch of nanners before this contest is over!


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

CIGma_Chi said:


> WAR...


YOU...


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

CIGma_Chi said:


> WAR...


WANT...


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## DonJefe (Dec 1, 2003)

DonJefe said:


> I might end up with my 4th bunch of nanners before this contest is over!


That would be cool! One word post whoring, you should be ashamed of yourself.


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

CIGma_Chi said:


> WANT...


*sigh* ... it's a war you got blah blah blah I gotta go make some cigar bands


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

> I didn't know you could pull up a reputation list. See something good out of this already.


I am glad that I got the chance to teach you something. That just made my day that might be better than winning this contest. Well I said might


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## DonJefe (Dec 1, 2003)

I wish I could go home. I am apparently not very busy at work if I have time to constantly post on a thread in hopes of winning cigars that I don't have room to store. :u


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## DonJefe (Dec 1, 2003)

CIGma_Chi said:


> *sigh* ... it's a war you got blah blah blah I gotta go make some cigar bands


University of Kentucky would be nice?!


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## Da Klugs (Jan 8, 2005)

It's kinda like the word assocation game, cheap posts.. but with at least some justifiable purpose. I'd like to think its the joy of seeing by new glowing user name. But I can live with the desire for sticks.

Ah the sticks....

Heres a little list "the first five" some of the "excess baggage" coming to the lucky consolation prize winner...

Puros Indios Gordo - these babies hurt my jaw and take too much space
CI Legends - the green ones
CAO Gold - Churchill
Petrus Fortus - I think its a 3
Gurkha Legend - Torpedo - Just beacase I got lots


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## CIGma_Chi (Jan 26, 2005)

CIGma_Chi said:


> *sigh* ... it's a war you got blah blah blah I gotta go make some cigar bands


OK that truly was a peek into the maw of insanity. Good luck DK! Don Jefe, granted it was dirty pool, but can you blame me?

Back to the bands...


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## DonJefe (Dec 1, 2003)

DonJefe said:


> I wish I could go home. I am apparently not very busy at work if I have time to constantly post on a thread in hopes of winning cigars that I don't have room to store. :u


That runner up prize would make a very good nuclear newbie bomb though! :SM


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

So I have three right

1. How old are my daughters? 16 and 19. 

3. What is the cubic capacity of my humi? 18 cubic foot humidor. About 175 cigars per cubic foot. Less available space 2 cubic feet.

5. Who has the largest RG in club stogie and how much is that? Lowland Louie

SO for the other ones I would need to do some more investigation. Answers to follow.


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## Da Klugs (Jan 8, 2005)

MM2(SW)S said:


> So I have three right
> 
> 1. How old are my daughters? 16 and 19.
> 
> ...


No but blame it on my wife. She had me conviced that this was 11"
<______________________________________________________________>

The humi is not as large as I thought.


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Da Klugs said:


> No but blame it on my wife. She had me conviced that this was 11"
> <______________________________________________________________>
> 
> The humi is not as large as I thought.


 :c Damn your wife Why she got to lie to you like that 
:r

No It its going to take me longer to figur e out cause I am :r


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

New guestimation on the humi using your great math skills and you wife ability to judge measurments  

3. What is the cubic capacity of my humi?

You posted before that it is 18 cubic feet and held roughly 2800 cigars. That was an over esimation then you posted it was more like 1300 cigars or roughly half of the original esimatament so 18/x = 2800/1300 so the humi would be roughly 9 cubic feet. how is my math?


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

<----------------------------------------------> 
So if your wife thinks that is 11 then maybe Khat has the same problem and his shoe size is realy 9 1/2 but he says its 11.


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## Da Klugs (Jan 8, 2005)

MM2(SW)S said:


> New guestimation on the humi using your great math skills and you wife ability to judge measurments
> 
> 3. What is the cubic capacity of my humi?
> 
> You posted before that it is 18 cubic feet and held roughly 2800 cigars. That was an over esimation then you posted it was more like 1300 cigars or roughly half of the original esimatament so 18/x = 2800/1300 so the humi would be roughly 9 cubic feet. how is my math?


Better than mine. But not correct.


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## Da Klugs (Jan 8, 2005)

MM2(SW)S said:


> <---------------------------------------------->
> So if your wife thinks that is 11 then maybe Khat has the same problem and his shoe size is realy 9 1/2 but he says its 11.


I dont know if the military sizes shoes the same way the GP does but there are letters involved out here in the land of the free. Thank you, and your wife and all that stand and serve BTW.


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Da Klugs said:


> Better than mine. But not correct.


12 cubic feet I guess I will star guess then, atleas I will then be able to catch up with rest of the post whores here.


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Da Klugs said:


> I dont know if the military sizes shoes the same way the GP does but there are letters involved out here in the land of the free. Thank you, and your wife and all that stand and serve BTW.


Oh man I try and type fast and I make to many typos I wanted to type let me slow this down a bit 9 1/2 w.


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## Da Klugs (Jan 8, 2005)

DJ did you sent me those credits.... thanks to you or whoever did. I'm gonna control the urge to spend until next Friday. The fruits will be picked at the same time.

Khat sent me the foot size ... from his picture I thought 16WWW. But hey looks can be deceiving.

MM2 its warm in here.


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Khat's shoe size final guess for the night 9 w. May be I might have to do some more guessing here a little later.


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## Da Klugs (Jan 8, 2005)

MM2(SW)S said:


> Khat's shoe size final guess for the night 9 w. May be I might have to do some more guessing here a little later.


Kinda like our polarized political system. 1/2 left....


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

> Kinda like our polarized political system. 1/2 left....


 :r 
SO he has a shoe sixe of 10w or atleast that is what he is telling us.


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Because I am I nice guy I just counted all the post here are the stats. 

CIGma_Chi with 32 post.


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Don Jef has 21 post in this thread so far.


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## Da Klugs (Jan 8, 2005)

MM2(SW)S said:


> :r
> SO he has a shoe sixe of 10w or atleast that is what he is telling us.


The pics of Khats shoes are a lot like my wifes estimation system.

Bed for me... dreamin of ISOMS and that glowing user name.

BTW check out any post by AAlmeter... notice something dif? I think it was IHT stirkes again.


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Da Klugs with 13 post so far in this thread.


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

P-town has 2 post.


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

SeanGAR with 1.


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

The Dutch 1.


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Dafu with 1 post in this thread.


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Da Klugs now has 14 post now in this thread.


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## Da Klugs (Jan 8, 2005)

Hey I actually like those sticks. :r


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

And I have if you include this one 25.


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Da Klugs you now have 15 post thus far.


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

woot hoo I am the person to post the 100th post in this thread.


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

how much more will I need to take the lead in the post whoreness of this thread


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

32 (number of post by Cimgma Chi)


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Minus


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

31 (number of post I have now, that is after this post)


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Equals 1. So after this post I am tied with Cigma Chi.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

1. How old are my daughters?

2. What magazine was I recently quoted in?

3. What is the cubic capacity of my humi?

4. What size shoe does Khat wear? (Khat PM me but don't squeel If you want to play use mine.)

5. Who has the largest RG in club stogie and how much is that?

6. How much will my theoretical first purchase cost. (closest .01) I'll post what but not from where by Monday night.

7. How many posts will Jeff have by 11:30 Friday night? Jeff if you play its how many I have by then will be our ultimate tiebreaker if needed.
--------------------------------------------


I have no idea, and i'd feel bad about spamming.


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

33 is the number of post I have in this thread thus far. Making it the most post so far.


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Jokieman has 1 post in this thread so far. and this post boost me up to 34.


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Post 35: How long will this last before PDS has to delet this thread due the fact of people post whoring so much it takes up to much memory?


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

Cigar Insurance 


(Oh well, what the hell)


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

A Charlotte, NC man, having purchased a case of rare, very


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Post 36 Jokieman now has 2 post in this thread.


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Post 37 make that 3 for Jokieman.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

expensive cigars, insured them against... get this... fire.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of fabulous


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Post 38


Jokieman said:


> expensive cigars, insured them against... get this... fire.


 :r


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

cigars, and having yet to make a single payment on the policy,


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Post 39 Jokieman now has 4 post within this thread.


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Post 40 make that 5 post for Jokieman so far tonight.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

the man filed a claim against the insurance company. In his


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

claim, he stated that he had lost the cigars in "a series of small


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Post 41: 6 post for Jokieman as of right now.


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Post 42: Jokieman now has 7 post.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

fires." 

The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Post 43: Jokieman keep this up you might catch up to me


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

that the man had consumed the cigars in a normal fashion. The man sued... and won!


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Post 44: Jokieman now has 8 post.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

In delivering his ruling, the judge stated that since the man held a --





I'll probably be banned by tomorrow for this. lol.

if we both aren't. hehe


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Post 45: Jokieman now has 9 post.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

policy from the company in which it had warranted that the


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

cigars were insurable, and also guaranteed that it would insure


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

the cigars against fire, without defining what it considered to be


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

"unacceptable fire," it was obligated to compensate the insured for his loss.


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Post 46: Jokieman now has 11 post.



> I'll probably be banned by tomorrow for this. lol.
> 
> if we both aren't. hehe


it is all in good clean fun. Good story by the way, did he take the insurenece money to buy another box?


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

insurance company accepted the judge's ruling and paid the man


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Post 47: Jokieman now has 13 post now.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

$15,000 for the rare cigars he lost in "the fires."


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

After the man cashed his check however, the insurance


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Post 48 make that 25 post for Jokieman.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

company had him arrested... on 24 counts of arson! With his


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Post 49 I mean 15 post for Jokieman thus far and counting.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

used against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

the rare cigars and sentenced to 24 consecutive one year terms...


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Post 50: Jokieman now has 17 post.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

Like Married....


:z


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

A man and a woman, who have never met before, find


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Post 51: I lost count on Jokiemans post. I have dial up and I can't keep up I will have to do a recount in a while and I will post the count totals.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

over sharing a room, the two are tired and fall asleep quickly, he


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

in the upper bunk and she in the lower. 

At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold." 

She says, "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married." 

"Wow! That's a great idea!!" he exclaims. 

"Good," she replies. "Get your own damn blanket!" 

After a moment of silence, he farted.


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Post 52 I will be back I am going to smoke a cigarette or a cigarillo it depends on wht I grab first.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

Idiots of 2004


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

Number One Idiot of 2004 

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

Number Two Idiot of 2004 

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

Number Three Idiot of 2004 

A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

Number Four Idiot of 2004 

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At that point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

Idiot Number Five of 2004 

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

Idiot Number Six of 2004 

Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape. Oh, that smarts.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

Woot. I got a bunch of bananas!

Idiot Number Seven of 2004 

Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A.M., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

40 Things You May Not Know


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

1. Money isn't made out of paper; it's made out of cotton.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

2. The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottle represents the varieties of pickle the company once had.

3. Your stomach produces a new layer of mucus every two weeks - otherwise it will digest itself .

4. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.

5. The dot over the letter 'i' is called a "tittle".

6. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

7. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.

8. A duck's quack doesn't echo ... no one knows why.

9. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.

10 Every person has a unique tongue print (no licking at the scene of a crime!).

11. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.

12. The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor who had red eyes. He was albino.

13. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.

14. During the chariot scene in 'Ben Hur' a small red car can be seen in the distance.

15. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.

16. Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system; a few ounces will kill a small sized dog.

17. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.

18. Most lipstick contains fish scales (eeww).

19. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants!

20. Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine.

21. Upper and lower case letters are named 'upper' and 'lower' because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the 'upper case' letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, 'lower case' letters.

22. Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.

23. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.

24. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.

25. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan, there was never a recorded Wendy before!

26. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange, purple, and silver!

27. Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.

28. A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

29. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" was a Captain Kirk mask painted white.

30. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

31. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand.

32. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

33. American Airlines saved $40,000 in '87 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first class.

34. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.

35. Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. It's the same with apples! 

36. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!

37. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.

38. Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.

39. Back in the mid to late 80's, an IBM compatible computer wasn't considered a hundred percent compatible unless it could run Microsoft's Flight Simulator game.

40. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a space suit damages them. 

I just couldn't post them all seperately. lol.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

My sister is a very intelligent woman when it comes to "book smarts," but a little naive in the ways of the real world. She used to work as a waitress, which I won't knock, because it IS a hard job. But when the cooks told her to go to the basement (restaurant had no basement) to get the dehydrated water, she searched for the basement entrance for an hour before realizing she'd been the butt of a joke. Another time, one of the salad girls had been busy, so my sister decided to make the salad herself. Just as she was carrying it to the customer, the salad girl grabbed her and said "what are you doing?" My sister said "well, she asked for the dressing on the side." You guessed it- she had put a little salad in the middle of the plate and poured dressing around the edges!


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

I was on my way to work early one morning. Having stayed up late with friends at a club, I wasn't feeling too hot! I decided to get some coffee from McDonald's and pulled into the drive through. I sat behind a car for a long time before I had noticed it had its window shade up! As I patiently continued to wait,I began to wonder how on earth this person was able to drive with this shade on. 

It was quite some time before I realized I had pulled up behind a parked car!!!!!!!


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

One day I was working in the office at my college. I was asked to phone a list of 20 students and tell them that their exam for that Friday had been cancelled. So after I got to about the 10th person I realized that this was one of my classes. I went to lectures during the week and on Friday went to take my exam. But I saw no-one from my class there. Confused, I went to the office to find out what was going on, only to be told that the exam had been cancelled. The sweet little old receptionist told me that a young girl who sometimes worked in the office had phoned everyone. Perhaps, thought the little old lady, the girl who helped out had tried to reach me but hadn't gotten through. I felt so stupid since I was the one who phoned everyone. One of my prouder blonde moments.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

One time I went to Taco Bell, and the front window of our car was broken so my mom made me order the food from the back seat. I ordered just fine, then the lady asked if I wanted any sauce. I said, "Just ketchup please." Oh Man! She looked at me so funny. THAT was embarrassing.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

I have a friend who's really stupid. Over the summer I dyed my hair red and I didn't tell anyone about it. So one day, she phoned me to go do something, and when I saw her she said, "Oh, you dyed your hair!'" Then she asked me what colour.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

During a daily Biology class, we were discussing how DNA is made by taking enzymes from eaten food and using the enzymes to build the DNA. ANYWAY, my teacher said "Now, when I eat the carrot, the enzymes from the carrot help to build strands of DNA." And this girl in the front row asks without a hitch "So then is DNA made of carrots?"



I think I know this girl. lol.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

One time I was playing around in the kitchen when I decided it would be a good a idea to try and scare my dog with our black and decker dough mixer. So I put it on turbo speed and aimed it at the dog who started to run away. To prove to the dog that it was harmless I attempted to stop the blades with my hand. My fingers got bent back to my wrist before the mixer gave up and I had to turn it off and run it back manually to pull my fingers out.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

I went to Sixflags one time, and while going in, I noticed a hotdog stand! Instead of looking where I was going, I kept my head trained onto the stand in the hopes that my mom would buy me one. Because she didn't notice me, I decided to say "Mmmmmm, hotdogs" just like Homer Simpson would, but right after I said this, I crashed into the knee high brick wall. After falling over into the garden on the other side of the wall, I yelled out, "Owwwwww, my knees!" Everyone heard this and stared at me. Anyway, I hurt my knees and I didn't even get a hotdog.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

My friend Pico, Jamal and I were riding in Pico's new Ford Explorer. We were on the interstate driving about seventy MPH. Pico's truck sounded funny. Jamal said, "Hey, is your truck OK?" Pico looked at the dash and saw that the automatic gear shift was in 2nd gear. Pico asks, "Hey, it's in '2.' I should pull over at the next exit then shift back to 'D' right?" Jamal and I beat Pico with our hats and I reached over and shifted the selector back to "D."


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

I hate to tell on myself but.... One night, I was in a friend's 3rd story apartment. We were grilling food on the apartment balcony. We were smart enough to realize that this wasn't a safe action. We decided to go to the park to grill. I had to run to the toilet. After I wrapped up the business, I went and found that my friends were all in the truck ready to go. I decided to jump off of the balcony to get to the car quicker. I fell 3 stories and hit the concrete...a perrrfect cat-like landing on 2 feet. Too bad I broke my ankle and my leg. They rushed me to the hospital. I got fixed up with a cast and pain killers . We returned to the park. I was on crutches and had to lay on my back and keep my leg elevated. They all teased me well into the night. After the party ended, everyone packed to leave. Everybody said BYE!! One of my friends yelled HEY MOE! We have to do this again sometime!! Yeah right.......


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

My mom's friend is a teacher at a nearby high school. Well, one day, she assigned her class a paper on World War 2. The day it was due, one boy came in empty handed. The teacher asked him why. He simply replied, "I went to every library I could find, but I found NOTHING on World War 2. I found a lot of books on World War 11, though."


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

I work in a convenience store. A while ago, a woman came in, grabbed a bottle of soda and a candy bar, and came up to the counter. "That'll be $1.65," I told her. She looked at me kind of strangely for a moment, then picked up the soda and asked, "How much is this?" "A dollar," I said. Then she picked up the candy bar. "And how much is this?" she asked.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

I broke my knee and was out of lacrosse for the season. Well the day after one of the games a friend of mine who is on the team walked up to me and asked, "Hey, how many goals did you have yesterday?"


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

know someone who lives right down the street. One day she was walking along and struck up a conversation with my Mom. I had nothing to do and was overhearing it. The topic went to dogs. Then she said, "You know, there is this really strange thing that happens every time I drive to school. I pass this street and there is this dead dog. And once I get out of school and pass the street again, someone moved the dog. It's really weird! Every day someone moves this dead dog back and forth!" So, one day, we drove down that street to get to the supermarket, and remembering that conversation looked down the street and saw the dog laying there. The dog wasn't dead, it was sleeping!


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

My family were on a road trip with our caravan, when one of the wheels fell off. We happened to lose a couple of the nuts before putting it back on, so we stopped at the next service station to try and get some replacements. My father asked the attendant if they had any wheel nuts and she thought for a bit and replied, "No, but we have Nobby's Nuts."


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

After purchasing our house, my wife and I decided to rip up most of the carpeting in the living room and put down a tile floor. While relating this story to my boss I said, "...it was a long job. There was 300 square feet of floor to cover with 12 inch by 12 inch tiles." He then asked me, "Really! How many tiles did you use?"


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

We were listening to a story about my friend's next door neighbor who went to Germany and had a one night stand with a German bloke. When her husband found out they divorced. Tracey suddenly shouted "Oh! Just think! The baby will come out speaking German!"


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

In one of my high school classes we were going to have a mock trial. The teacher asked who wanted what roles. My friend raised her hand and said, "I'll be the prostituting attorney!"


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

I worked at a gift store just across a small open area from the world famous Space Needle here in Seattle. Two questions from tourists that never failed to amaze and amuse me were, "Where is the Space Needle?" (Honestly, it only looms 610 feet above your head at this very moment.) and "Is this where I get tickets to the Space Needle?" (No, you get them AT the Space Needle. I was tempted sometimes to send them to some remote corner of the Seattle Center in effort to obtain them. Shame on me.)


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

had just gotten my debit-card. I hadn't had a chance to sign it yet and I went into the store. The girl, seeing that it wasn't signed, gave me her pen and asked if I would sign the card. I did. So she proceeds with the purchase, hands me the receipt to sign and then takes the card holds it up next to the receipt and compares the signatures…


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

My mom took out her old wedding album and built into the binding was a small music box that you had to wind up. Well, over the years a piece had fallen off the winding mechanism but mom had discovered if you put a dime in the slot to turn it, it still worked fine. So we're reading it and my niece (honor student, governor's school, etc.) comes over. My sister says, "Here, this part plays music. Do you have a dime on you?" And my niece says "Do you have to PAY?"


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

I had just punched in at my place of employment and was putting my things away, when the coworker I take over for came up to me and said, "I can't get the lint thingy back in the dryer right. I think I broke it." I went to see what the problem was. I found that HE, yes it was a male, had put the lint filter in backwards. As I took it back out and proceeded to put it in correctly, he stopped me and said, "Wait, I forgot to put this back in." I turned to see what he was talking about and in his hand was a big wad of lint.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

My aunts were driving somewhere one day, and they stopped at a tollbooth. While they were sitting there they saw a part of someone's car rolling down the street, and started laughing. Then they realized that it was a part of their car.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

My friend was driving me home from school one day. On the way home I saw a car that looked exactly like my mom's parked on the side of the road. I started laughing at it, and making fun of it because the tires had all busted and there was nothing left but the rim. When I got home she called to tell me that she wouldn't be home for a few hours because the wheels on her car had gotten messed up. I felt so stupid because I had been making fun of my mom's car


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

After spending the afternoon snorkeling in St. Croix, I was standing near the dive shop when I overheard the following conversation between 2 middle-aged American ladies. They were watching a bare-footed man trudging (on hot gravel) with an empty scuba air-tank on his back. He was hunched over and grimacing. I presumed his posture and expression was due to the hot gravel on his bare feet. But apparently the ladies didn't see it that way. Lady1: My, those tanks must be awfully heavy! Look how he's walking! Lady2: Oh? Do you suppose that tank is all that heavy? Lady1: Well, I don't know if it's empty or not, but I heard someone say that those things can hold 70 lbs. of air! Lady2: Well that's hard to believe. Looks like they'd drown if they were all that heavy. How can they swim w/ all that weight? Lady1: Oh that's because it's weightless in water. You know everything is much lighter in water. Lady2: I suppose so. You're so smart about these things!


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

My wife was very excited upon hearing the 1996 Olympics would be held in Atlanta, Ga. Before she began planning the events she wanted to see, she asked me, "Will it be the winter or summer games?"


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

This is an actual conversation that took place in my educational psychology class (mind you everyone in this class is training to be a teacher). We were learning about the best way to teach kids concepts and the Prof. was using the word "bird." He asked us what characteristics made a bird different from other animals. Obviously people said "feathers, lays eggs, etc." One person said the beak made them different. The prof. asked the class if we all agreed that all birds had to have a beak. Everyone said, "YES" then from the back of the room this girl said "What about ducks? They don't have a beak. They have a bill." The prof. asked, "Aren't a beak and a bill the same thing?" She said "No a beak is used for pecking and a bill is used to sift things." Another student then said, "We know a duck is a bird. It is a biological fact." She replied, "Look, I don't know the biological reasons for it, but I am saying that a duck isn't a bird because it has a bill." The whole class sat there in amazement. Just think SHE could be teaching YOUR kids someday.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

To prove just how smart the people who work for McDonalds are I told my brother that I would order a cheeseburger without cheese to find out what the guy would say. He did just what I thought he would do, he called back to the grill for a cheeseburger with no cheese instead of handing me a burger off the warmer. The guy working the grill didn't catch on either, because he wrapped it in a special wrapper instead of suggesting that he give me a regular hamburger.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

Back in high school, I had THE stupidest music teacher. I was a brunette, but over Christmas vacation, I dyed my hair red. When I came back to his class after the vacation, he stared at me long and hard, then said "You know, last semester I had a student just like you, only she had brown hair."


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

Once my aunt had a terrible headache so she took an aspirin and soon felt better. Later that day she was looking for a button that had fallen off her blouse. She didn't find the button but she found an aspirin in her pocket!


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

I love telling this story because it is about my ex girlfriend. I was at her house for Easter. Her mother was making some cookies. They were "slice and bake" with little rabbits on them. My girlfriend said with an amazed look "Wow the little bunnies go through to the other side" ...(hence, slice and bake cookies)


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

Once while riding around Myrtle Beach with my parents, I saw a sign that read "Topless Bar." My sister and I, both pre-adolescents, wondered how did the bar-goers keep from getting wet when it rains. The thought occupied my mind for years until someone finally told me what a topless bar was!


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

I was 18 and in the Air Force, and had just bought my first car. It was at Fairchild AFB, near Spokane, Washington, and the car was a 1955 Oldsmobile. I had paid $50.00 for it. My buddy and I decided to take it for a drive over to Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Nearing the city, we heard a "chop...chop...chop" sound. We parked at a restaurant and shut the car off. Went inside to eat, and then returned to the car. The car would not start. I raised the hood, and my buddy and I, (both of us REALY STUPID!) just stood there looking at the engine, not knowing a thing about cars. A man came up to see if we needed help. He told us that my battery was gone. Apparently, it was not tied or bolted down and it fell into my fan blades. Well, this man put his battery in my car to get it started and then took it out. He told us that when we get back to Spokane, to go buy a battery. Well, we drove all the way back to Spokane, and stopped in a gas station and bought a battery, ($19.95 in 1971). Well, we put that battery in, and as we went around the cloverleaf onramp to get back on the freeway, we heard, "chop..chop..chop."


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

I drive a city bus for a living. Bus drivers rule is once the door is closed and the bus is moving do not open the door. One night about 10pm I pull into a stop, pick up the people and proceed to pull out. All of a sudden out of the side mirror I see a person running toward the now moving bus. I stopped at a traffic light, the person caught up and passed the bus and ran 2 blocks to the next stop. I pull into the stop and open the door. The person looks up, puts one foot up on the steps, panting out of breath and says to me as he pulls a cigarette, "EXCUSE ME BUT DO YOU HAVE A LIGHT"


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

One day I took out the vacuum cleaner to vacuum my rugs and saw the bag inside was full. I went to get a new bag and saw I was out of the bags. I decided instead to put a plastic garbage bag into the vacuum cleaner. Being this vacuum cleaner was an upright it was an easy thing to do. When I turned on the vacuum cleaner imagine my surprise when the 30 gallon garbage bag blew up like a huge balloon and my vacuum cleaner danced across the living room rug.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

During a hot summer day a woman called up our hospital proclaiming that her daughter had eaten and swallowed some ants on accident. We told her that she would be ok and that they would be dead before they could do any harm. Towards the end of the phone conversation something caught our attention. She said that she gave her daughter some ant poison to kill the ants. We then told her that she better come in right away. Everything ended up ok though, and we all still laugh about it to this day.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

One day I was talking to my brother about a girl I know named Heather. I was telling him that I thought that she was cheating on her boyfriend and pregnant with the other guy's child. My brother got this very surprised look on his face and said, "Does Heather know?"


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

My old roommate had a burned out turn indicator. After telling him about it, he asked, "Do you think it needs more blinker fluid?"


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

79 Posts so far.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

Stupid Product labels

On a lawnmower I had was a big label which read: 
"WARNING WHEN MOTOR IS RUNNING- THE BLADE IS TURNING!"


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

We once bought a grocery store pizza and the instruction were on the bottom, so we turned it upside down to see how long to cook it etc., and low and behold the first instruction was DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN!


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Post 53: Jokieman took the lead he has now posted 78 post within this thread.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

Warning on a curling iron: Do Not Insert Curling Iron Into Any Bodily Orifice…


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

My bathroom has inadequate ventilation and therefore, develops mold spots in the lower corners. I attempted to purchase a cleaner specifically designed to remove bathroom mold deposits. The directions on the product label stated, "Only use in well ventilated areas."


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

Seen on the bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle: "Do not open here."


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Post 54: I mean now Jokie has 82 post and counting.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

On a bottle of spray paint: "Do not spray in your face."


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Post 55: 84 for jokie and counting. Atleas he posting some good stuff to read.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

On a bottle of bathtub cleaner: For best results, start with clean bathtub before use.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

On a container of lighter fluid: WARNING: Contents flammable!


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## Da Klugs (Jan 8, 2005)

I doubt if anyone will ever see this amonst the carnage.. but just in case.... In one of my posts there exists a real strong clue or at least path to a strong clue on the magazine question. I was gonna say too bad its not in this thread but before its said and done that might make it easier.

I'm a pretty good skiier but not in the league of those in the mags.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

On a box of household nails: CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation!


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

Microwave popcorn is packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you open the plastic and unfold it. Direction #1 is Remove plastic.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

On a television commercial that says it cleans dentures 4 times better. Below in small print it said "Lab test: (their product) vs. water.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

I have a full-face motorcycle helmet with a giant arrow pointing to the front. I can only guess that some idiot put the helmet on backwards, jumped on a bike and hurt himself. This is to protect to manufacturer from future lawsuits


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

Seen on the back of a drink bottle label: "Do not peel label off."


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

On a Band-Aid box: "For serious injuries, seek medical attention."


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

On a can of powdered infant formula: "Mix with water before serving." Like I'm going to spoon it to my baby dry!


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

This stupid label was found on a can of Woolite carpet cleaner: "Safe for carpets, too!"


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

This label was found on the BOTTOM of a box of glass ornaments: "Do not turn upside down."


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

On a box of Frosted Cheerio's, the logo, "Tastes so good this box never closes," is located just underneath another announcement: "To close: place tab here."


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

On a plastic orange juice can: "100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate."


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

I once saw an ad for some type of contest on a candy bar. The wrapper said "No purchase necessary - Details Inside."


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

The golf carts on the course I worked at have warning labels saying, "Not for highway use."


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

On Clorox Fresh Care: (for cleaning out odors from fabric) "Safe to use in households with pets Warning: Fresh Care is NOT intended to be sprayed directly on pets."


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

While working at a large medical center in the Midwest, a construction worker was admitted with a large hammer sticking out of his head. Seems he was in an altercation with another gentleman. On the side of the hammer were the words, 'Use protective eyewear.'


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

104.

I wonder if you have enough to get your glowing name.


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

Two bunches? do I get 2 at 200?


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

I am the self proclaimed Post Whore for this thread.


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Post 56: I still have time there is a whole weekend a head. I just run out of things to sau and I get sick of typing. But the challeng is out I will atleast get within 150 post of you on here


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## Mr. White (Dec 4, 2004)

MM2(SW)S said:


> Post 56: I still have time there is a whole weekend a head. I just run out of things to sau and I get sick of typing. But the challeng is out I will atleast get within 150 post of you on here


I'm done.  So all you have to do is beat what I already put up and you win.


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## Da Klugs (Jan 8, 2005)

Carnage. But I got enough credits already thanks MM and Jokie. (Sorry PDS you can delete this next weekend)

If anyone is still interested in playing things happend today.

Vegas Robina Famosos
San Cristobal el Principe
Partagas Shorts
Monticristo # 2
Juan Lopez Sellecion #1
H Upmann Magnum # 46

I'm not saying any more for now. Except 2 right and one real close (like 1/2 right)


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## MM2(SW)S (Oct 25, 2004)

Da Klugs said:


> Carnage. But I got enough credits already thanks MM and Jokie. (Sorry PDS you can delete this next weekend)
> 
> If anyone is still interested in playing things happend today.
> 
> ...


Great Selction I am glad I could help you get enough credis by my post whoring. 

1. How old are my daughters?
16 and 19

2. What magazine was I recently quoted in?
When I googled your name you came up in several places. So lets see:
on http://www.asis-akron-canton.org/display_minutes.php?item_id=3 that was the minutes from 2003. SO that wouldn't be it.
Then www.noitr.org/download_files/ infoSecSummitAgendaVer2.0.xls but that wasn't a mag. SO I searched some more and more then I came to this
http://www.isaca-neohio.org/news/news200304.htm but that wasnt it either but I think I am getting closer I think They all have a common thread of security so I searched some more and I came to this http://www.isaca.org I searched I need a login name but I am sure something might be here http://www.isaca.org/Template.cfm?S...splay.cfm&TPLID=7&UserDefinedDate1=01/01/2005
So I would have to say Information Systems Control Journal
The Journal of The Information Systems Audit and Control Association was the publication that quoted you.
3. What is the cubic capacity of my humi?
10 cubic feet

4. What size shoe does Khat wear? (Khat PM me but don't squeel If you want to play use mine.)
10 w

5. Who has the largest RG in club stogie and how much is that?
Still Lowland Louie, followed by PDS

6. How much will my theoretical first purchase cost. (closest .01) I'll post what but not from where by Monday night.
975.00

7. How many posts will Jeff have by 11:30 Friday night? Jeff if you play its how many I have by then will be our ultimate tiebreaker if needed.
609

Did I get any right ?


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## mr.c (Apr 8, 2004)

What an amazing waste of bandwidth ...... :r


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## Da Klugs (Jan 8, 2005)

MM2(SW)S said:


> Great Selction I am glad I could help you get enough credis by my post whoring.
> 
> 1. How old are my daughters?
> 16 and 19 Right they are together at little sibs weekend adn that means real trouble
> ...


MR C good thing bandwidth is sooo cheap these days. :r


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