# The Book of Gosh Chapter 2: We are Legion!



## gosh (Oct 17, 2011)

​
[Malaki 2:1] And on the night of the full moon, the bombardment started. The mighty LOB reigned down a great firestorm uponth the newly renamed Mount St. Gosh for a solid week, and so great was their wrath, that the mountain sankth below the waves of the ocean. The great Goshini, in all his wisdom, saw fit to command me to construct him a great ark, and his will was done. And it was his great wisdom that spared us the wrath of the LOB, but now find ourselves adrift on the great ocean.

[Malaki 2:2] I approached the wise Goshysan at his great forge in the rear of the ship. "Oh mighty Gosh'ith" I cried, "what shall we do if the LOB try to strike us again?" The mighty Gosh laid down his cigar, paused stoking his forge and looked upon me *"Do not worry Malaki! I've just made a deal that'll keep the Empire out of here forever. Did I say Empire? I meant LOB, same difference."* And with a great bellowing roar brought out the brand of the LOB from the forge, and held it against his face!

[Malaki 2:3] *"HOLY SHIT THAT HURTS! Ouch, seriously! Ow! Ow. Ow."* The unorthodox Goshilington cried out in pain, his flesh scorched with the mark of the LOB. I meekly pointed to the package next to me and said "Um? Pardon me sire, but wouldn't it of been easier just to wear the mask they left for you?" *"What? Oh great Malaki! That would of be totally useful information thirty seconds ago before I deformed myself. Seriously, I think my face is melting."* After a few moments the magical Goshiter composed himself *"Whew! Okay, I'm fine. Now come with me Malaki, I wish to show you something."*

[Malaki 2:4] The awesome and powerful Gosherton led me to a giant monster made of metal at the bow of the ship. I cried out in terror "What is that foul monster?!" The great Goshua laughed and said *"That Malaki, that is what we call a Howitzer, Pinhead stopped by earlier to install it. It's how we're going send bombs now that my damn post office has been blownth upth. Pretty cool eh?"* I nodded even though I didn't really understand and asked "Sire? What about the mice up on the mast?" The Goshinator paused his loving embrace of his cannon long enough to respond *"Who? Oh them. Yea just kind of stay out of their way. The one with the big melon bites. The other one, well he's uh, let's say, 'mentally challenged'."*

[Malaki 2:5] I had just begun thinking how our lives would be incredibly, um, interesting, now that we had the LOB as allies, when the Goshen interrupted my thoughts* "Look alive Mal! I already got this thing loaded up with a small precision bomb, and I have coordinates to someone I should have hit months ago, thanks to the LOB spy network. So get this bad boy pointed towards Florida, and let's hear this thing go BOOM!"*

*0310 3490 0000 0240 6620*

​


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## kozzman555 (Sep 10, 2011)

Game on goshypoo


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## Belligerent_Cupcake (Oct 6, 2011)

Win, win, win!


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## gosh (Oct 17, 2011)

kozzman555 said:


> Game on goshypoo


You want to play some Euchre? We need two more players...


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## DarrelMorris (Feb 7, 2012)

Uh oh. Here we go again...


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## Swany (Aug 20, 2010)

He fits right into the LOB, doesnt he. One Day..............


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## ouirknotamuzd (Jan 29, 2011)

from The Book of LOB....

"..and it came to pass that the False Prophet, whose transgressions and heresies were shattered by the might of the chosen Messengers, did see the errors of his ways and chose to walk the Path of Destruction and Havoc with the Chosen to spread the Gospel of BOOM!!! to all who would listen..."

welcome to the Legion of BOOM!!!, Brother Gosh


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## kozzman555 (Sep 10, 2011)

Gosh is a good fit for the LOBsters. All talk and no bang, much less a "BOOM". Long on wind, short on explosives, etc etc.


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

Gosh is a lobster now?? Boooooooo!

:biglaugh:


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## gosh (Oct 17, 2011)

kozzman555 said:


> Gosh is a good fit for the LOBsters. All talk and no bang, much less a "BOOM". Long on wind, short on explosives, etc etc.


This would carry so much more weight if 1) I happen to know your friend is missing a front porch, thanks partially to me, and 2) You live for my bomb write-ups, you have admitted as much time and time again. It's cool, I like having you as a fan, but please stop asking me to sign your chest.


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## ouirknotamuzd (Jan 29, 2011)

kozzman555 said:


> Gosh is a good fit for the LOBsters. All talk and no bang, much less a "BOOM". Long on wind, short on explosives, etc etc.


and headlining today's menu in the ZK Boardroom.....sour grapes:biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh:


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

gosh said:


> This would carry so much more weight if 1) I happen to know your friend is missing a front porch, thanks partially to me, and 2) You live for my bomb write-ups, you have admitted as much time and time again. It's cool, I like having you as a fan, *but please stop asking me to sign your chest.*


A) That wasn't his chest.

B) I dont think that was a pen you were holding in your hand.


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## kozzman555 (Sep 10, 2011)

gosh is a well known, practicing homosexual. I'm just glad the chloroform wore off before anything happened


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## max gas (Apr 11, 2011)

socalocmatt said:


> B) I dont think that was a pen you were holding in your hand.


:biglaugh: :rofl:


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

kozzman555 said:


> gosh is a well known, practicing homosexual. I'm just glad the chloroform wore off before anything happened


Hahahaah. Its okay, many have fallen victim to the ol' "Excuse me but does this napkin smell like chloroform?" trick


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## BigSarge (Oct 20, 2011)

kozzman555 said:


> Gosh is a good fit for the LOBsters. All talk and no bang, much less a "BOOM". Long on wind, short on explosives, etc etc.


Really Adam? Not enough "BOOM"? Did you think about who is in the LOB before you said that?! Man, you must be really brave or just plain dumb.


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## priorwomanmarine (Nov 3, 2011)

Welcome my brother to the crazy


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## kozzman555 (Sep 10, 2011)

BigSarge said:


> Really Adam? Not enough "BOOM"? Did you think about who is in the LOB before you said that?! Man, you must be really brave or just plain dumb.


Of course I did. The LOBsters are populated with impotent pansies.


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## BigSarge (Oct 20, 2011)

kozzman555 said:


> Of course I did. The LOBsters are populated with impotent pansies.


I see. Dumb it is then.


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## kozzman555 (Sep 10, 2011)

BigSarge said:


> I see. Dumb it is then.


I prefer to call it....telling the truth


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## mcgreggor57 (Nov 3, 2011)

kozzman555 said:


> gosh is a well known, practicing homosexual. ..


Well, that would explain why the Book of Gosh has turned into a fairy tale.


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

mcgreggor57 said:


> Well, that would explain why the Book of Gosh has turned into a fairy tale.


heeheeheee :biglaugh:


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## BigSarge (Oct 20, 2011)

kozzman555 said:


> I prefer to call it....telling the truth


The truth to one with a 1st graders IQ, like yourself, also includes the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. And that your Dad is the guy on the evening news, not that Dealer your Mom keeps blowing for coke.


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## skfr518 (Jul 4, 2011)

Oh how cute the LOB is trying to make their army stronger......Squids still lead the way!

Adam you know I can destroy you at anytime so don't even bother bringing the ZK in on this.


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## kozzman555 (Sep 10, 2011)

Sarge, I was smart enough not to re-up, which is more than I can say for you....


Brad, you sir a ****ing high. I would ******** your mailbox's ******** in the ******** without even breaking a sweat.


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## skfr518 (Jul 4, 2011)

Kozzy poo lets not make this thread about us. Just remember who got drug outside by the ear and b*tch slapped first (hint: it wasn't me).


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## BigSarge (Oct 20, 2011)

kozzman555 said:


> Sarge, I was smart enough not to re-up, which is more than I can say for you....


So now you're saying that every military member on puff, or anywhere else, who decided to KEEP serving their country even when the going gets tough is stupid?!! Really? :mad2:


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## kozzman555 (Sep 10, 2011)

It was a joke Sarge  *stands at parade rest*


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## kapathy (Nov 20, 2010)

ahhh well, another one took his stupid pill i see..... well at least he went to the lob and squidtopia.... sour grapes? nah he fits right in with the whole entertain ZK mold you guys have created.... so carry on business as usual. something like bellow bellow bellow chaos blah blah fizzle sparkle fade should be about the norm for lob these days.


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## max gas (Apr 11, 2011)

This book of Gosh is getting long winded and boring. <yawn> Let me know when the Cliff notes come out


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## skfr518 (Jul 4, 2011)

I'm really hoping they have the audio set so I can listen to it to fall asleep


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## gosh (Oct 17, 2011)

This out-pouring of emotion is really quite flattering. I did not realize the Llamas and Squids would be this heart broken, over someone who apparently just writes boring long winded posts and not much else, joining LOB. 

I have to say I'm touched, but there's no need for you to be jealous, LOB simply has better cupcakes. Well that and they function as a group. Oh and you can tell an LOB member without having to dig into their profile. And if that wasn't enough, yanno, Bob.

...on second thought, I guess you do have a few reasons to be jealous.


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## Trilobyte (Sep 17, 2011)

Damn fine day! Welcome to the LOB gosh.


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## the_brain (May 1, 2011)

kozzman555 said:


> Game on goshypoo


*Brain: *Yes Kozz, game on indeed... Welcome to the team Gosh, we are glad to have you... Your invite to the rubber room is in your inbox...

*Pinky:* We added more crazy!!! :tease:


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## Desertlifter (Feb 22, 2011)

kozzman555 said:


> gosh is a well known, practicing homosexual. I'm just glad the chloroform wore off before anything happened


Ah - I see that the legend of the ether bunny still lives on nearly 30 years after I joined the service....

Hippity hoppity 
hippity hoppity
the ether bunny comes
hippity hoppity
hippity hoppity
in the night he creates sore bums....


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## Packerjh (Nov 29, 2009)

This is a little off topic...but... Duck Gosh...


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## ouirknotamuzd (Jan 29, 2011)

Packerjh said:


> This is a little off topic...but... Duck Gosh...


Pinhead Jr.: "Dontcha mean LOBster Gosh, Cheesy?...AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

Herfabomber: "good one, Junior"


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## piperdown (Jul 19, 2009)

Wow, not sure if it's the iPad I'm using or just me but all I saw was "blah, blah, dinner, farm animals"


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## szyzk (Nov 27, 2010)

I had high hopes for you, gosh. Too bad your talents will be wasted on those foul-smelling lobsters.


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## Packerjh (Nov 29, 2009)

ouirknotamuzd said:


> Pinhead Jr.: "Dontcha mean LOBster Gosh, Cheesy?...AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
> 
> Herfabomber: "good one, Junior"


Well, Jr....Lobster, duck, goose, chicken....What's the difference? They all go boom


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## DarrelMorris (Feb 7, 2012)

kozzman555 said:


> Gosh is a good fit for the LOBsters. All talk and no bang, much less a "BOOM". Long on wind, short on explosives, etc etc.





gosh said:


> This would carry so much more weight if 1) I happen to know your friend is missing a front porch, thanks partially to me, and 2) You live for my bomb write-ups, you have admitted as much time and time again. It's cool, I like having you as a fan, but please stop asking me to sign your chest.


You two are starting to sound like a couple of old women.


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## the_brain (May 1, 2011)

kapathy said:


> ahhh well, another one took his stupid pill i see..... well at least he went to the lob and squidtopia.... sour grapes? nah he fits right in with the whole entertain ZK mold you guys have created.... so carry on business as usual. something like bellow bellow bellow chaos blah blah fizzle sparkle fade should be about the norm for lob these days.


*Brain: *No stupid pill involved, he just failed the sanity test...

*Pinky:* Egad did he, what a terrable score...

*Brain:* Makes him a perfect fit.


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## hachigo (Feb 14, 2012)

Gosh, all that writing and only one DC. I must say, I'm very disappointed. Well, at least you now have some backup with the crazies that you fit in so well with.


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## kapathy (Nov 20, 2010)

the_brain said:


> *Brain: *No stupid pill involved, he just failed the sanity test...
> 
> *Pinky:* Egad did he, what a terrable score...
> 
> *Brain:* Makes him a perfect fit.


well of course he failed the sanity test....he lives in ohio by choice...... i mean why would any sane person do that?


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## gosh (Oct 17, 2011)

hachigo said:


> Gosh, all that writing and only one DC. I must say, I'm very disappointed. Well, at least you now have some backup with the crazies that you fit in so well with.


There actually is a second DC, but you'll have to dig into the Puff Rally thread to find it. Basically this bomb was really just a feeble excuse to do a write up on how awesome the LOB is. (That and I need to reload desperately)


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## priorwomanmarine (Nov 3, 2011)

Fowl smelling lobsters???? hmmm


szyzk said:


> I had high hopes for you, gosh. Too bad your talents will be wasted on those foul-smelling lobsters.


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## Packerjh (Nov 29, 2009)

Well the rest are foul smelling PWM...you smell like a springtime breeze...


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## Josh Lucky 13 (Dec 23, 2010)

So lobsters are now LOGs? See thats the problem with crack pot (&pipe) religions. Once they merge they make no sense. Next your gonna be telling oranges feel pain & vegtables scream salad is murder everytime you pour dressing on them. And that baby carrots are just adult carrots acting younger to catch other carrots trying to take advantage of underage carrots in "To catch a carrot" Well there goes my sober ramblings today... Go LOGs??? Idk sounds silly


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## ouirknotamuzd (Jan 29, 2011)

kapathy said:


> ahhh well, another one took his stupid pill i see..... well at least he went to the lob and squidtopia.... sour grapes? nah he fits right in with the whole entertain ZK mold you guys have created.... so carry on business as usual. something like bellow bellow bellow chaos blah blah fizzle sparkle fade should be about the norm for lob these days.


I thought our mold was more like "post post bomb bomb some more post post bomb even more"



hachigo said:


> Gosh, all that writing and only one DC. I must say, I'm very disappointed. Well, at least you now have some backup with the crazies that you fit in so well with.


never underestimate the power of a single DC#, Sir..in the right hands, it can cause a great deal of fear....one DC# posted by The Master himself has been known to soil numerous pairs of underwear amongst Puffers



the_brain said:


> *Brain: *No stupid pill involved, he just failed the sanity test...
> 
> *Pinky:* Egad did he, what a terrable score...
> 
> *Brain:* Makes him a perfect fit.


tell me about it...his score was lower than our member count


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## kapathy (Nov 20, 2010)

ouirknotamuzd said:


> I thought our mold was more like "post post bomb bomb some more post post bomb even more"


I stand by my sparkle fizzle fade interpretation.


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