# Too Late!!



## freestoke (Feb 13, 2011)

I had planned to rent a PO box and have my mail transferred to it until this bomb arrived, to limit the damage, but apparently Terry has an in with the USPS and it arrived the very next day after he said he was sending it -- devious scheming, if you ask me! Too late! The neighbors are gathering to see what happened. This:










It's all retribution for sending such a pitiable selection of pipe tobacco to him. I was duped into giving him my address via a devious ploy involving Prince Albert tub versus pouch, sneaky bastard. Well, what's done is done.

And they look splendid, actually, even though I have no idea whatsoever what I'm looking at! I'm not really a "cigar smoker", but I haven't had a cigarette since last Saturday. For some time, I have been unable to leave cigs alone on the golf course, although I smoke a pipe the rest of the time; pipes are too much hassle on the course, so these look like the very thing! I LIKE cigars, mind you, but I've only smoked them occasionally when they were handed out at tournaments or friends gave me one in the clubhouse, after a dinner at a cigar smoking friend's house or something. This will be the most cigar smoking I've ever done in my life! :lol:

This means war. ipe: WOOF!

PS: Very impressive packaging, BTW. Compartmentalized ordinance.


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## ProbateGeek (Oct 13, 2010)

freestoke said:


> I had planned to rent a PO box and have my mail transferred to it until this bomb arrived, to limit the damage, but apparently Terry has an in with the USPS and it arrived the very next day after he said he was sending it -- devious scheming, if you ask me! Too late! The neighbors are gathering to see what happened.
> 
> It's all retribution for sending such a pitiable selection of pipe tobacco to him. I was duped into giving him my address via a devious ploy involving Prince Albert tub versus pouch, sneaky bastard. Well, what's done is done.
> 
> ...


You drew first blood. :ss

For the golf course, I'd go with the Padilla or the Unholy Cocktail, though the latter does have some kick to it. The only mild one in the bunch is the Puros Indios, and to be truthful I only added that one as ballast.

:biggrin:

Good luck!


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## Oldmso54 (Jul 31, 2010)

Nice Terry - Enjoy those Jim!


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## Rock31 (Sep 30, 2010)

Diesel, JDN and Padilla, very nice hit!


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## User Name (Feb 11, 2011)

I love me some Diesel.

Terry's been a busy boy, hasn't he?

Enjoy it Jim.


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## sweater88 (Jul 31, 2011)

nice hit!! enjoy bro


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## ProbateGeek (Oct 13, 2010)

User Name said:


> I love me some Diesel.


Swany hit me with a Shorty, that I think I prefer over the Unholy Cocktails. Try one today!


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## NoShhhSherlock (Mar 30, 2011)

That is a mighty fine hit Jim, you are well deserving of it! Kudos to Terry :tu


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## freestoke (Feb 13, 2011)

Haven't played since Monday because of this bronchitis, but I'm doing better now that the antibiotics seem to be kicking in. :tu Heading for the golf course here directly and need somebody to pick one for me! Only playing nine, so one cigar should be about perfect, since we generally cook around in about an hour and a half. It's a cloudy day with temps mid '70s -- my kinda golf weather! (As Phil Harris used to say, "I always shoot in the 70s. Any warmer or colder, I don't play.")


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## WyldKnyght (Apr 1, 2011)

Very nice hit Terry,


Congrats Jim and enjoy


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## freestoke (Feb 13, 2011)

Well, since nobody helped me pick one, I went with the Puros Indios -- plus, it was on the end and had "WOOF!" written on it. Very nice, actually. I enjoyed just having something there all the time, as opposed to reloading and relighting like you do with cigarettes. (It'd be even worse with a pipe, for sure.) I lit it walking down the first fairway and tossed it after hitting my tee shot at nine. The perfect nine hole cigar! :tu

So far so good! Thanks again, Terry! ::smoke:


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## ProbateGeek (Oct 13, 2010)

freestoke said:


> Well, since nobody helped me pick one, I went with the Puros Indios -- plus, it was on the end and had "WOOF!" written on it. Very nice, actually. I enjoyed just having something there all the time, as opposed to reloading and relighting like you do with cigarettes. (It'd be even worse with a pipe, for sure.) I lit it walking down the first fairway and tossed it after hitting my tee shot at nine. The perfect nine hole cigar! :tu
> 
> So far so good! Thanks again, Terry! ::smoke:


Oh, Jim. You are one brave golfer. I got a box of those for $13, and immediately felt distinct buyer's remorse. I've smoked only two, both ROTT, and found them, well... lacking.

Maybe time has helped them some, but expect MUCH better with the others.


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## freestoke (Feb 13, 2011)

ProbateGeek said:


> Maybe time has helped them some, but expect MUCH better with the others.


I feel like the newbie pipe smoker who actually LIKED the Mixture 79. :lol:

Probably be the middle of next week before the weather lets us out there again. I've decided to take them left to right, so I don't have to think!


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## freestoke (Feb 13, 2011)

On to the Joya de Portugal! Not as harsh as the Puros Indios, most definitely. I lit it up shortly before the first tee and smoked it around to the sixth tee where I was having trouble relighting it after it had gone out. (First relight, BTW.) I dropped it on the ground, spanked my tee shot off six and walked off without it! ( I apparently lost my presence of mind, having almost holed my wedge on the previous hole and absolutely scorched the tee shot off the sixth. Played great yesterday! Cigars are doing wonders for my game! :tu) 

After the round, I retrieved the stub! (The sixth tee is near a parking lot on the way out...didn't take 20 seconds to stop and get it.) I finished it a while later with a beer and it still tasted pretty good! :tu I have to say, though, neither cigar seems to have much of a nicotine punch, compared with Irish Flake, say. Not that there was none, but a cigar of IF would definitely give me the yips by the third hole and by the seventh I'd be hitting my nine iron 200 yards! :lol: 

You were right! I liked Joya de Portugal was better than the Puros Indios, but I really did like them both! (You have four thank-yous remaining in your ziplock. :lol


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## User Name (Feb 11, 2011)

JDN's make me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

And then I puke my brains out, haha.

Jim, you are a BEAST.


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## freestoke (Feb 13, 2011)

User Name said:


> JDN's make me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
> 
> And then I puke my brains out, haha.
> 
> Jim, you are a BEAST.


Did I say "Portugal"? I guess it's Nicaragua, huh?  So, ya need any other cigar noobie creds? :lol:

Well, James, what you don't know can't hurt you, right?

Today it was the Vegas Relic, I think my favorite so far. (This probably merely displays my bad taste, but there you have it.)

I lit it a 1:32 on the first tee, absolutely CRUSHED my tee shot and we were off. I was done at the sixth green, an hour and ten minutes. This one never was harsh at all. The others threatened to go out or even did once or twice, but this one stayed lit. Maybe I just wasn't setting it down as much. :lol: Anyhow, just super, Terry!

For comparison purposes, I smoked a bowl of IF before we went to the course, just to lay a foundation. A lab analysis would no doubt prove I'm pulling this thought out of the rectal data base, but until I see it, I feel like there is more nicotine in a flake of IF than in one of these cigars, size notwithstanding. Is that even possible? What's the range on nicotine strength per unit tobacco?

Not a complaint, honest! I smoke more "normal" things, like Dunhill Flake and PA, most of the time. Believe me, a good smoke doesn't have to cave in my doors, and these cigars are a super smoke for the golf course! Who knew? I'm merely binging the nicotine "discrepancy" because it seems like an anomaly of some sort. :dunno:

I'm getting paranoid and there are still three to go! Maybe Terry doesn't have three thank yous left. :behindsofa:


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## ProbateGeek (Oct 13, 2010)

You, sir, just won yourself another 5 Vegas Relic or two, as well as taste of a Camacho Corojo - that ought to put some hair on your chest, plus do wonders for your golf game.


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## MrLexus (Dec 31, 2009)

Some nice smokes in there! I really need to try an Unholy Cocktail. All I have heard is good things about them.


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## freestoke (Feb 13, 2011)

Today, the Padilla Habano. I used the scissors on my knife to snip a little off the end and lit it up as Audrey spanked her tee shot down the middle. For reasons unknown, it went out on the 7th fairway, but relit fairly easily. I puffed merrily away until it started getting in the way lifting the clubs into the trunk, an hour and forty five minutes later. Now that's a solid smoke, right there! Nice cigar! 

I noticed that the end didn't disintegrate quite so much, but perhaps that was because I used the scissors. I had poked a hole in the back of the others with a golf tee -- I see you all recoiling in horror. Sorry I brought that up...

Best yet, for sure, and a decent nic hit this time. Just about perfect, actually. (Probably the mildest of the bunch, right!? :lol Despite a three putt bogie at one and a ridiculous double at three, I managed a +2 38. (The Vitamin N kicked in late in the round.) Perfect day to play! 

Four thank-yous down, two to go! :tu


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## freestoke (Feb 13, 2011)

Today the Dominus Perla(?). Yummy! Lit it on the 3rd tee and it smoked all the way to the 9th! Was a boring even par, making no putts at all, hit a nice drive down nine, and left the nub at the tee. Big mistake. The 9th is a fairly easy par 5 and I was on the edge of reaching in two. Even more important was that I was threatening to play 9 holes without missing a shot, something I haven't done in years. It could have been the dizziness due to success, but more likely the carts that roared into view on the hole next to the ninth fairway, right on my backswing, but in any case I slapped it into the fairway bunker and chewed my way to a three putt double. Disgusting. If I'd just kept that damn thing going for one more hole, I'd have broken par for sure. 

But not the cigar! That there was a fine little smoke! I'm amazed that it lasted so long, I really am. Never went out at all! How did that little thing keep burning for almost an hour? Beats me. Delicioso! (Forgive me -- I poked a hole in the end with a ball mark repairer.  Didn't seem to hurt a thing, though! :tu ) 

One Diesel thank you remaining, Terry. The Diesel looks like one under, at least!


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## ProbateGeek (Oct 13, 2010)

Been unable to get online with any regularity the last few days, but am now enjoying the play-by-play here immensely. 

Good luck with the Unholy Cocktail, Jim - have a good round.


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

ProbateGeek said:


> Been unable to get online with any regularity the last few days, but am now enjoying the play-by-play here immensely.
> 
> Good luck with the Unholy Cocktail, Jim - have a good round.


OMG! It's a Terry sighting!!!


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## ProbateGeek (Oct 13, 2010)

Aninjaforallseasons said:


> OMG! It's a Terry sighting!!!


Hey, Derek!

............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
..............\.............\...

In good fun, of course. :ss

I love this forum - every one of you on here seem to have the ability to crack me up at will. . .


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## User Name (Feb 11, 2011)

*Shame on you Terry!!!!!*


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## ProbateGeek (Oct 13, 2010)

Okay, JJ. I've seen the light!

.......[digit digitally removed]
............/´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
..............\.............\...

:ss


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## User Name (Feb 11, 2011)

I'm laughing at the point where it's making my co-workers worried!!


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## freestoke (Feb 13, 2011)

So, I guess the "Diesel" is the Unholy Coctail? I liked it a heap! Lit it up before the first tee shot and failed to make contact with the ball until the 3rd hole, a 200 yard par 3, where I stoned it but missed the short putt. From there on, I flew it great but could NOT roll it in the hole. sigh. Diesel don't putt worth a DAMN! Hits it great, but no short game, ya know? Eight pars and a double at two. 

Maybe it was playing on an empty stomach, but when I tossed the nub at the 7th green, about an hour twenty's worth (slow round), pretty sure I was a little bozoed out. Enjoyed it immensely, for sure!

Danke, merci, grazie, gracias, dziekuje, THANKS, Terry!!


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