# "The Unsmokeables" CI's Gimic



## richardjmack (May 31, 2010)

I just looked on a trademark website and found that, Ron Mexico, "Dark Shark", etc are all owned by Cigars International, JOHN PAUL OLEKSIUK. The reviews made it seem like they were picking up someone else's cigar and making fun of it. I guess it's much easier to write a poor review of yourself. Those marketing geniuses...


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## ongreystreet (Nov 3, 2008)

Not really sure if it's a "CI" gimic, nearly every online retailer makes up their own reviews and ratings, and have their own house brands.

CI's house brands and the cigars they have made for them are some of the best deals around.


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## BigJ (Apr 8, 2010)

I agree! Regardless of what CI may righ about their cigars, their house brands are great. I just finished smoking a CI Epicure a few days ago, very very enjoyable!


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## richardjmack (May 31, 2010)

ongreystreet said:


> Not really sure if it's a "CI" gimic, nearly every online retailer makes up their own reviews and ratings, and have their own house brands.
> 
> CI's house brands and the cigars they have made for them are some of the best deals around.


I understand what you're saying, but the manner in which it is written makes it seems like they are writing reviews of another company's cigar. If they said in their review we came up with the crappiest cigars of all time and here's they are, then fine, but making comments about someone's else cigar when it is actually your own just doesn't seem right.

Also they're all the same size, Churchills, might be the same cigar with a bunch of different funny bands. Wouldn't that be slightly dishonest? Same cigar different bands, making it seems like different brands?


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## Mante (Dec 25, 2009)

richardjmack said:


> I understand what you're saying, but the manner in which it is written makes it seems like they are writing reviews of another company's cigar. If they said in their review we came up with the crappiest cigars of all time and here's they are, then fine, but making comments about someone's else cigar when it is actually your own just doesn't seem right.


My thoughts are that if your taking the Unsmokeables seriously at all then maybe you could better spend your time.



> Also they're all the same size, Churchills,* might be the same cigar with a bunch of different funny bands. Wouldn't that be slightly dishonest?* Same cigar different bands, making it seems like different brands?


If they make the cigar they can advertise it any way they like. You see cars getting around with two different badges on them so why not crap cigars? Your implying that they are doing something dishonest by theorizing about what they MIGHT be doing. It's called marketing and whether we like it or not, every big company uses it. I've never bought anything from CI BTW, except the "Unsmokeables" for the TJL Crapstick Bombs. Enjoy your smokes mate.


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## BigJ (Apr 8, 2010)

Tashaz said:


> My thoughts are that if your taking the Unsmokeables seriously at all then maybe you could better spend your time.
> 
> If they make the cigar they can advertise it any way they like. You see cars getting around with two different badges on them so why not crap cigars? Your implying that they are doing something dishonest by theorizing about what they MIGHT be doing. It's called marketing and whether we like it or not, every big company uses it. I've never bought anything from CI BTW, except the "Unsmokeables" for the TJL Crapstick Bombs. Enjoy your smokes mate.


I agree... They arn't out to get anyone, just doing what they have to do to sell their product. And hey if CI's marketing, weird or not, gets a customer interested, their marketing technique has already been 50% successful.


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## Schecter30 (Dec 12, 2006)

how bout just don't buy em


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## budkole (Sep 3, 2008)

I think some are you are taking this too seriously....ease up!


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## Frinkiac7 (Dec 12, 2008)

A huge portion of the CI catalog is their house brands, via Meier & Dutch. 
They are more than entitled to push their own stuff as much as they want (and why wouldn't they?), but after a while it got kind of tiring.


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## Dread (Oct 16, 2009)

I want to buy a bundle of Rajis untimely demises! Greatest name ever


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## Bigtotoro (Jul 5, 2009)

Instead of spending $1 on something that someone is telling you is bad and that are trying to reverse psychology market, why not just buy something that is good that you know you like?


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## jessejava187 (Aug 25, 2009)

The Ron mexicos, that is awsome cuz that is the fake name Mike Vick used at hotels and the fake name he used when he got herpes treament, and the band on the cigar has a guy doing the heisman pose, classic, I want to get a bundle just for that.


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## Bigtotoro (Jul 5, 2009)

If they had a Paris line you would be in for that, too. Of course, it would give you syphillis...


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## thegoldenmackid (Mar 16, 2010)

Is it any worse then Thompson... no.
Any worse then JR and Altadis... nope.

They are called "unsmokeables" - if you still chose to buy them it should be fairly obvious that it's at your own risk.


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## jessejava187 (Aug 25, 2009)

Bigtotoro said:


> If they had a Paris line you would be in for that, too. Of course, it would give you syphillis...


I love you guys, i almost fell out of my seat


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## teedles915 (Jun 18, 2009)

jessejava187 said:


> The Ron mexicos, that is awsome cuz that is the fake name Mike Vick used at hotels and the fake name he used when he got herpes treament, and the band on the cigar has a guy doing the heisman pose, classic, I want to get a bundle just for that.





Bigtotoro said:


> If they had a Paris line you would be in for that, too. Of course, it would give you syphillis...


Those might be the funniest two posts I have ever seen back to back.


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## tpharkman (Feb 20, 2010)

Call me crazy but my T.V. keeps telling me late at night that herpes treatment comes in a box from an overly friendly pharmacist:yo:. Ron Mexico must have really had it bad....lol!!!

I can see it now Raja's U.D. is now going to be on back order.


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## Coffee-Cup (Jan 26, 2010)

Bigtotoro said:


> Instead of spending $1 on something that someone is telling you is bad and that are trying to reverse psychology market, why not just buy something that is good that you know you like?


Patrick, my feelings exactly.:cb


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## Stench (Aug 17, 2009)

I ain't gonna buy em....a Paris edition mebbe. A long lancero with a thin blonde connecticut wrapper and pig tail top that has no taste...

Or the Lindsay edition - with a rosado wrapper that looks beautiful when first rolled and then wrinkles up after a few days in your humi and tastes like crap...


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## jessejava187 (Aug 25, 2009)

Stench said:


> I ain't gonna buy em....a Paris edition mebbe. A long lancero with a thin blonde connecticut wrapper and pig tail top that has no taste...
> 
> Or the Lindsay edition - with a rosado wrapper that looks beautiful when first rolled and then wrinkles up after a few days in your humi and tastes like crap...


 See I love that,

Maybe a Monica editon.......... what there was one of those lol


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## e-man (Jan 5, 2009)

Is the Paris line rolled on the thigh of a virgin?


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## Shaz (Oct 10, 2008)

e-man said:


> Is the Paris line rolled on the thigh of a virgin?


Paris and virgin in the same sentence. Now that's funny! :rapture:


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## Esoteric (Jun 15, 2009)

Shaz said:


> Paris and virgin in the same sentence. Now that's funny! :rapture:


 Haha, right!! The only "virgin" part of her body could possibly be her right ear lobe (or brain perhaps) :bolt:


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## fuente~fuente (May 11, 2009)

Esoteric said:


> Haha, right!! The only "virgin" part of her body could possibly be her right ear lobe


Doubt it. :lol:

What's the saying? _If she had as many sticking out of her that she's had stuck in her... She's look like a porcupine._


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## Bigtotoro (Jul 5, 2009)

Dude, she has totally had it in the ear, between the toes, wrapped in her hair...


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## smelvis (Sep 7, 2009)

jessejava187 said:


> I love you guys, i almost fell out of my seat


BTW Make sure ya clean the toilet seat before we get back


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## jessejava187 (Aug 25, 2009)

Leave Her alone, I love her, this has gone to far lol


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## jessejava187 (Aug 25, 2009)

smelvis said:


> BTW Make sure ya clean the toilet seat before we get back


 Ill make sure Evl takes care of it lol


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## FiveStar (Jan 7, 2010)

LOL this thread is priceless!!!!!!!!!

But seriously, it seems CI has decided to market some yard gars in the best way they know how. I do have to wonder who the hell buys these things though. My money is hard earned, so I only purchase stuff I know is well made and tasty. I guess if you've got the disposable income to buy a bundle of pure crap for the fun of it, and space for absolute shite cigars, you might get a kick outta having some smokes to dangle out of your mouth while mowing the lawn. Still, I like to smoke cigars for the FLAVOR, not just for something to have in my mouth that's laden with Nicotine and on fire. So why someone would buy a cigar labeled as "unsmokeable" is kinda beyond me.....

But we're talkin about it right? I'm sure that's what CI had in mind when the marketing genius who came up with this idea brought up the topic in a meeting....


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## gahdzila (Apr 29, 2010)

I have to admit, I'm intrigued. If they sold singles, or maybe even an "unsmokeable sampler," I'd definitely at least give 'em a shot! :smokin:

Maybe we should do a group buy, 4 or 5 guys each buy a bundle and send a few to each other! :bolt:


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## orca99usa (May 23, 2008)

> I do have to wonder who the hell buys these things though.


I'm sure there are people who read the ad copy thinking one of two things: (1) They can't possibly be that bad, or they wouldn't be selling them, or (2) I gotta have some of those to foist on my moocher friends. Then, of course, there are those who would smoke used paper towels if they could get a good deal on them.


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## gahdzila (Apr 29, 2010)

Congrats on your 1000th post, Bob!

I smoke 2-4 cigars a day. I'm definitely no millionaire, so I'm always on the lookout for a good deal. I like good cigars, but I've gotta smoke cheap ones sometimes, too, to keep the budget in check. I've never smoked anything THAT cheap, but I'd definitely give them a try if I didn't have to buy a whole bundle at once!

I'm in the "they can't possibly be that bad" camp LOL!!!


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## ghe-cl (Apr 9, 2005)

Remember, CI is owned by Swedish Match, one of the largest tobacco companies in the world.


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## iMarc (Feb 24, 2010)

I've got enough "meh" cigars by accident... no need to buy more intentionally.


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## Dan-Hur (Feb 26, 2010)

If I didn't have to buy twenty of them, I'd nab some of them just for the bands. Raji's Untimely Demise, Hesitant Pirate, Dark Shark and, of course, Ron Mexico are all bands I'd like to add to my collection.

As for the gimmick, well, here's a quote: True story: I actually cut them apart at my desk to ensure the Dominican tobaccos inside were long-filler.

This does read in a somewhat deceptive fashion. Not that it matters, but maybe they bought the brand names before selling them.


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## Sirhuffsalot (May 8, 2009)

iMarc said:


> I've got enough "meh" cigars by accident... no need to buy more intentionally.


No Doubt!

Seriously, dont buy into the reverse physiology (LOL) they are, THAT BAD.

So bad I paid to send the dark sharks back, paid as much to send them back as I got back in return. Tasted like pissed on cardboard.

But if ya`s got to buy them to get to where you are going in this hobby, then by all means go right ahead.


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## whodeeni (Nov 3, 2009)

Warren,

Have you ever actually smoked one? If so how was it? Not that
i'm gonna be buying any but i'm curious!



Tashaz said:


> My thoughts are that if your taking the Unsmokeables seriously at all then maybe you could better spend your time.
> 
> If they make the cigar they can advertise it any way they like. You see cars getting around with two different badges on them so why not crap cigars? Your implying that they are doing something dishonest by theorizing about what they MIGHT be doing. It's called marketing and whether we like it or not, every big company uses it. I've never bought anything from CI BTW, except the "Unsmokeables" for the TJL Crapstick Bombs. Enjoy your smokes mate.


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## Plop007 (Jul 8, 2009)

haha I think I'll take CI's word on these and save my money.


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## thebayratt (Jun 4, 2009)

The Justice League sent me a fine selection of these including the Vieja Hacienda Belicoso.
I just lit it up.........I figured, why not smoke it, it may be a halfass yard gar. I got about 1/2 to 3/4" into it and decided to disect it... _it was that bad_. 
If anyone has ever gotten the "Free Cuba" cigars....... the Free Cuba is a VSG compared to this waste of tabacco.

Its got maybe three long leaves in it total. The wrapper, binder, and one in the filler (I guess to give it some shape for the crumbs to stick to). Everything else looked like the insides of a cigarette except bigger flakes. Infact, I've had cigarettes that tasted better than this "cigar".


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## Cigary (Oct 19, 2007)

jessejava187 said:


> The Ron mexicos, that is awsome cuz that is the fake name Mike Vick used at hotels and the fake name he used when he got herpes treament, and the band on the cigar has a guy doing the heisman pose, classic, I want to get a bundle just for that.


Lol,,,I didnt know this and love to learn these kinds of backstories. WTG Jesse...l love trivia stuff like this.


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## Mante (Dec 25, 2009)

thebayratt said:


> The Justice League sent me a fine selection of these including the Vieja Hacienda Belicoso.
> I just lit it up.........I figured, why not smoke it, it may be a halfass yard gar. I got about 1/2 to 3/4" into it and decided to disect it... _it was that bad_.
> If anyone has ever gotten the "Free Cuba" cigars....... the Free Cuba is a VSG compared to this waste of tabacco.
> 
> Its got maybe three long leaves in it total. The wrapper, binder, and one in the filler (I guess to give it some shape for the crumbs to stick to). Everything else looked like the insides of a cigarette except bigger flakes. Infact, I've had cigarettes that tasted better than this "cigar".


ROTFLMAO. Finally, a worthy review of the TJL Crapsticks.:boink:


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