# To clench, or not to clench?



## dillonmcmurphy (Aug 5, 2008)

Do you guys clench? Not clench? I tend to not clench, and just hold the pipe in my hand between puffs. Mainly because if I do clench I tend to have problems with extra moisture in the bowl, but also because I have a tendency to baby my pipes and I like to keep teeth marks in the stem to a minimum. It's also more comfortable for me if I don't clench, although I suppose a rubber bit protector would handle the teeth marks problem as well as the comfort factor. It still wouldn't handle the excess moisture though. The pipes I do however tend to clench are my cobs. I have no problem leaving teeth marks in those stems, and I find that cobs generally smoke a bit drier so the excess moisture isn't a huge problem. That's why if I'm doing chores or what not I smoke a cob so I can hold the pipe in my mouth comfortable while working.


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## Hermit (Aug 5, 2008)

Generally, no.
I have a few lightweight pipes that I put
softy bits on that I smoke when I need 
both hands free.


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## DubintheDam (Jun 5, 2007)

clench...dub


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## dmkerr (Oct 27, 2008)

I'm definitely a clencher. The relaxation part of pipesmoking is heightened when I can "set it and forget it". But I don't "chomp". The pipe rests easy and the bowl hangs lower than a chomp would dictate. So my teeth are not penetrating the stem. 

I do have a few pipes that are too heavy or cumbersome to clench such as the clay churchwarden and an older meerschaum. But because I clench, the pipe's balance is of critical importance. If it's too bowl heavy, I end up not smoking it as much.


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## phatmax (Mar 18, 2009)

I have a tendancy to hand hold. That being said, on most of my pipes I gave up and put the softys on them. A couple already had mild to moderate damage, so that will stop any more from happening and cover it up.

One is a nice Saseini that actually has a hole in the bit on the bottom. The softy covers it right up and the pipe looks 100%


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## brianwalden (Mar 18, 2009)

I'm a clencher, it's habit. I bit a hole through my first corncob in two weeks. Even when I try to only use enough pressure to hold the pipe in place I still get teeth marks. I just gave up and got softies so I don't have to worry about it.


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## stfoley (Jul 28, 2008)

I'm worse....without thinking about it, I'll chew the stem...since I Love MMs, I'm going to get a few premium stems made for them so I don't have to replace stems weekly.


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## Mad Hatter (Apr 8, 2007)

I normally hold the pipe with the bowl in my hand and the bit lightly clenched in my mouth. When typing, turning pages, etc I clench


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## Mister Moo (Sep 8, 2005)

Quote:

 Originally Posted by *Lord Wigglybottom*  
_You know, I've tried holding my pipes in my teeth but damn it if I don't always end up getting some smoke on a regular, draw-free inhale. ...Is there a particular technique to holding a pipe in the teeth?_

OK. Here's the deal.

It's hard enough to walk and chew gum for a lot of us (me); and it's way harder to walk AND keep a lighted pipe clenched in your teeth, puff, not drool, not inhale by accident, not get smoke in your eyes, remember not to exhale and blow a fountain of ash and flaming embers all over the place, etc. etc. And to smoke, clench and simultaneously read, prepare food, curry the horse or paint the window frames is out of the question (for me).

Actually, I can keep certain (lightweight or bent) pipes clenched and proceed with other life-activities but, most times, I sooner or later find myself chomping so hard on the stem I think it's going to dent or crack. I have some lovely old smokers, 95% with perfect vulcanite stems - I'd hate to ruin one.

In short, I like smoking a pipe for its own sake, without distractions. Keeping a lit pipe in my mouth and trying to do something else detracts from attention to the pipe, the tobak and the process that makes them enjoyable. And I would be PISSED if I accidentally chomped a piece off a 50-year old pipe I'm supposed to be caretaker for. :mmph: You guys who can smoke, clench and do one or two other things at the same time while enjoying a fine tobak - I honor you.

WTH? I forgot the point... Oh yeah - Quote:

 ... I've tried holding my pipes in my teeth but... It's awful... 
Fergettabowdit. Except for momentary circumstances it doesn't work for some of us. Looks good in the movies, though, those guys who chomp and smoke and relight and puff and talk all at the same once.


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## Searchlight (Mar 21, 2009)

I hold, mostly because I'm afraid I'll get saliva back down the stem if I keep it in my mouth. I'm only a few chromosomes from a drooling Neanderthal.

Plus I know that if I keep it in my mouth, I'll chew the hell out of it.


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## Mister Moo (Sep 8, 2005)

Searchlight said:


> I'm only a few chromosomes from a drooling Neanderthal...


You will have a bright future smoking here with us.


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## DeadFrog (Mar 19, 2009)

I'm definitely not a clencher. (insert perverted joke here!) :lol:

I think because I started smoking a churchwarden, (and it was the only pipe I smoked for a few years), it feels more natural to hold a pipe in my hand rather than in my teeth. The other day I picked up a house blend cavendish from a local B&M and couldn't wait to get home to try it. I brought my pipe with me so I loaded it in the Jeep and tried to drive and smoke. Well lets just say that was an adventure! Trying to shift gears, steer and hold a pipe was quite the challenge. I need to grow a third arm!


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## Mad Hatter (Apr 8, 2007)

I don't know about guys who chew their stems. I've gotten a few estates that have obviously been chewed but usually they've only been chomped. I think I'd break my teeth if I tried to leave a toothprint like some of the previous owners of some of my pipes.


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## brianwalden (Mar 18, 2009)

Searchlight said:


> I'm only a few chromosomes from a drooling Neanderthal.


You're lucky. I am a drooling Neanderthal. Whenever I went to the orthodontist (for you Brits, that's like a dentist who specializes in straightening teeth :r) as a kid they'd have my chart out next to me while they were working. I vividly remember that the very first thing written on the first page was "EXCESS SALIVA" in big letters. Needless to say, if you get an estate pipe from me make sure you clean it extra well before using it.


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## petewho (May 22, 2008)

Hand hold, and set it down on a folding pipe stand a lot too. I only clench to type (like right now), or other brief uses of two hands.

I just don't like holding my jaw tight. 

The easiest pipe for me to clench is a P-lip half-bent. I know the P-lip gets bashed a lot, but you can comfortable hold one of those loose in your teeth for a long time.


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## dillonmcmurphy (Aug 5, 2008)

Mad Hatter said:


> I normally hold the pipe with the bowl in my hand and the bit lightly clenched in my mouth. When typing, turning pages, etc I clench


Yeah that's what I tend to do. I'll clench, but I'm usually holding it in my hand at the same time.


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## Searchlight (Mar 21, 2009)

brianwalden said:


> You're lucky. I am a drooling Neanderthal.


I knew. It was the beard, really.


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## plexiprs (Nov 18, 2005)

> Do you guys clench? Not clench?


Whatever it takes at the time, place and in the prevailing circumstances.


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## nothingclever (Aug 1, 2008)

I clench briars. It's just more natural for me. I do use the bite bits on them. 

When it comes to meers, however, I hold in hand. More out of a fear of opening my mouth and dropping the pipe. 

I am Polish. It's bound to happen.


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## Cliffhanger (Mar 17, 2009)

brianwalden said:


> Whenever I went to the orthodontist (for you Brits, that's like a dentist who specializes in straightening teeth :r) .


Oooohhh cheap shot...

Well get this:

I know for a fact your mother isn't much of a clencher.

KACHING!


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## brianwalden (Mar 18, 2009)

Cliffhanger said:


> I know for a fact your mother isn't much of a clencher.


I never knew my mom to smoke a pipe.


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## Searchlight (Mar 21, 2009)

brianwalden said:


> I never knew my mom to smoke a pipe.


Perhaps there's a lot of things you never knew.


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## petewho (May 22, 2008)

OUCH!!!


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## Dgar (Sep 12, 2006)

I hold the pipe in my hands, not a clencher.


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## Dedalus (Dec 10, 2008)

Cletching looks great, but I find it uncomfortable, so I generally hold the pipe...and point at things with it!


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## stevo192 (Oct 27, 2008)

I like to clench my pipes but most of them have rubber bit protectors. I do tend to have moisture problems if I keep my pipe in my mouth while working or reading so tend to avoid it


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## d_day (Aug 24, 2008)

Dedalus said:


> Cletching looks great, but I find it uncomfortable, so I generally hold the pipe...and point at things with it!


 I was just coming here to say the very same thing.


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## drastic_quench (Sep 12, 2008)

clench with rubber bit - love those things. It's handy to be able to clench the pipe without worry of toothmarks so you can light it with two hands.


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## Searchlight (Mar 21, 2009)

drastic_quench said:


> clench with rubber bit - love those things. It's handy to be able to clench the pipe without worry of toothmarks so you can light it with two hands.


I bought a couple of those little "rubber boogers" (as Frenchy calls them) to go with the pipe that I just got. Hopefully they'll keep me from mangling the stem.


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## drastic_quench (Sep 12, 2008)

My teeth seem to be razor sharp for some reason. My first pipe had a vulcanite stem, and I held it in my teeth as gently as possible, and it still got marked to hell.


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## KinnScience (Mar 11, 2009)

brianwalden said:


> I'm a clencher, it's habit. I bit a hole through my first corncob in two weeks. Even when I try to only use enough pressure to hold the pipe in place I still get teeth marks. I just gave up and got softies so I don't have to worry about it.


As I was reading this my R Wiley slipped out of my teeth and I was able to quickly catch it with my eye teeth. As a result, I put a nice round bite mark on my once perfect mouthpiece. Then I remembered that I actually had some of those little rubber things (among all the stuff I bought these last weeks). So now I sit here typing, holding this fat nose warmer in my teeth comfortably. Only thing, it was pretty tough to get the thing on this fat mouthpiece. I couldn't take the mouthpiece off because the pipe was hot (I was smoking it after all). So I struggled not to put too much pressure on the briar ... anyway, I got it on and it works.

Answer: I am a clencher (but am often pulling it out to adjust my saliva level.


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## drastic_quench (Sep 12, 2008)

With wide stems, one good trick is to stretch out the rubber bit first by inserting a pair of needle nose pliers and opening them up a little.


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## KinnScience (Mar 11, 2009)

drastic_quench said:


> With wide stems, one good trick is to stretch out the rubber bit first by inserting a pair of needle nose pliers and opening them up a little.


Great idea! (now why didn't I think of that?) :loco:


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## Arizona (Jul 19, 2007)

Not a clencher. I only hold the pipe in my teeth with JUST barely enough tension to keep it from falling out of my mouth. 

When seated and able to hold the pipe and sip it then yes I'll do that, but generally I sort of just hold it gently in my teeth and puff away. Another thing I do is sort of "hang" the pipe from my teeth so it's sort of dangling with just very light pressure of the teeth to keep it from falling out.


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## BrSpiritus (Apr 9, 2009)

Arizona said:


> Not a clencher. I only hold the pipe in my teeth with JUST barely enough tension to keep it from falling out of my mouth.
> 
> When seated and able to hold the pipe and sip it then yes I'll do that, but generally I sort of just hold it gently in my teeth and puff away. Another thing I do is sort of "hang" the pipe from my teeth so it's sort of dangling with just very light pressure of the teeth to keep it from falling out.


That's a good answer and reflects how I feel about it. The flipside is it all depends on what pipe you're smoking... I'd look silly clenching my churchwarden LOL.


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## brianwalden (Mar 18, 2009)

As a clencher, I've been using softy bits but just recently started to find them uncomfortable. I realized it's because they make the stem thicker which keeps my jaw more open than it wants to be. So I've been testing each pipe individually as I smoke them and removing the rubber bit if i find it more comfortable without it.

I figure the average price of my pipes is under $50 - I have them to smoke them not put them in a museum. My new philosophy about softies is that using them merely to protect the stem is like covering my furniture in plastic. If the softy actually makes the pipe more comfortable in my mouth I'll keep it on, otherwise it's gone. I can always replace the stem if I damage it too much, I can't replace the time spent on a less than enjoyable smoke because I was moving the pipe all around my mouth the whole time trying to find a comfortable spot.


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## Piper (Nov 30, 2008)

Arizona said:


> Not a clencher. I only hold the pipe in my teeth with JUST barely enough tension to keep it from falling out of my mouth.
> 
> When seated and able to hold the pipe and sip it then yes I'll do that, but generally I sort of just hold it gently in my teeth and puff away. Another thing I do is sort of "hang" the pipe from my teeth so it's sort of dangling with just very light pressure of the teeth to keep it from falling out.


Arizona, that's exactly what I do! Also, I don't think putting the odd pinpoint toothmark in the bit is so terrible. My wife might get less for my pipes on eBay after I die but, in the meantime, I've enjoyed them without having to worry unduly about posterity. Smoking will probably be illegal by then anyway. (But I guess that's an argument for keeping them pristine as museum pieces.)


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## dmkerr (Oct 27, 2008)

brianwalden said:


> As a clencher, I've been using softy bits but just recently started to find them uncomfortable. I realized it's because they make the stem thicker which keeps my jaw more open than it wants to be. So I've been testing each pipe individually as I smoke them and removing the rubber bit if i find it more comfortable without it.
> 
> I figure the average price of my pipes is under $50 - I have them to smoke them not put them in a museum. My new philosophy about softies is that using them merely to protect the stem is like covering my furniture in plastic. If the softy actually makes the pipe more comfortable in my mouth I'll keep it on, otherwise it's gone. I can always replace the stem if I damage it too much, I can't replace the time spent on a less than enjoyable smoke because I was moving the pipe all around my mouth the whole time trying to find a comfortable spot.


My sentiments exactly. Unless I plan on reselling my pipes (I don't), I don't worry too much about the stem having tooth marks. The flipside is that most of my pipes have lucite stems and instead of an actual tooth indentation, I end up with a few scrapes on the bit. I don't actually "clench" tightly - rather, I hold the pipe in my teeth with just enough pressure to keep the pipe from falling out. So the majority of my bits are in decent to very good shape. Totally agree that the reason I bought the pipes in the first place is to smoke and enjoy - comfortably! If a softy bit makes your experience less enjoyable, what's the point?

I use a softy bit on my special meerschaum that Ismet Bekler carved for me 25 years ago (my name and his name on it but no heart around them - ha!) because I do want to keep that pipe pristine and another on an old Nording that for some reason won't hold steady in my teeth like my other pipes do. It keeps sliding from side to side. The softy solved that but it makes the pipe uncomfortable to hold in the teeth. As a result, it doesn't get smoked that often - proving your point.


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## tobac&tea (Jun 25, 2009)

I came to this thread, as a pipe smoking neophyte, to get an idea of whether or not I should get all upset about tooth marks on my new pipes. This thread confirmed my gut instinct which was one of, "not really." 

On some of my pipes I could really care less about tooth marks as they are more utilitarian and it's more important to me to enjoy a pipe while working in the yard than to worry about tooth marks.

On my nicer pipes, I'm just more careful -- but I'm sure I'll care a little less as the years roll by. 

I was also relieved to discover that buffing the stems will go along way toward removing shallow tooth marks when I took a bitten up ebay acquisition to my local tobacco shop. I had bleached it to get rid of the nasty oxidation and when they buffed it for me (this is a free service at my smokeshop) I was surprised to see that not only was it shiny again, but the little tooth marks were gone too. I think an occasional buff job will keep us all happy if we clench on occasion.


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## AcworthAl (Mar 16, 2009)

brianwalden said:


> As a clencher, I've been using softy bits but just recently started to find them uncomfortable. I realized it's because they make the stem thicker which keeps my jaw more open than it wants to be. So I've been testing each pipe individually as I smoke them and removing the rubber bit if i find it more comfortable without it.
> 
> I figure the average price of my pipes is under $50 - I have them to smoke them not put them in a museum. My new philosophy about softies is that using them merely to protect the stem is like covering my furniture in plastic. If the softy actually makes the pipe more comfortable in my mouth I'll keep it on, otherwise it's gone. I can always replace the stem if I damage it too much, I can't replace the time spent on a less than enjoyable smoke because I was moving the pipe all around my mouth the whole time trying to find a comfortable spot.


I agree 100%


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