# Since Ron is the Chuck Norris of Cigars



## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

I thought that a fun little thread would be appropriate...

Every cigar that Ron Stacey smokes bears the face of Jesus in the ash

who's next????


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## jp13 (Jul 12, 2011)

Ron Stacey's herf tubes humidify themselves.


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## shuckins (Jun 24, 2009)

you guys are crazy...lol


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## Adam (Jun 17, 2010)

Ron's cigars cut and light themselves.


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## Nathan King (Nov 4, 2010)

Ron's beads stay clear.


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## jp13 (Jul 12, 2011)

Fidel friended Ron on Facebook.


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

Ron's cigars review their experience of him smoking them.

Something like this:
"When Ron cam to my home and picked me up I knew that I was in for a surprise. On the initial pre light draw his beard felt like the fingers on magical fairies tickling me.

With the initial puff Ron had a good draw and brought me to life. . ."


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

Ron doesn't age his cigars. They age themselves ROTT


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## shuckins (Jun 24, 2009)

primetime76 said:


> Every cigar that Ron Stacy smokes bears the face of Jesus in the ash


yeah,but they start out with an image of zilla on them


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

Ron doesn't wear a hat. That is actually a mood halo gifted from the cigar gods.


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

shuckins said:


> yeah,but they start out with an image of zilla on them


You're s**tting me. That's awesome.


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## shuckins (Jun 24, 2009)

he even has a personalized humidor


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## smelvis (Sep 7, 2009)

Ron has kidney stones for fun and shoots squirrels with them, Then gets the crock pot out


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## Zogg (Aug 31, 2010)

Ron breathes smoke, not air.


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## Zogg (Aug 31, 2010)

smelvis said:


> Ron has kidney stones for fun and shoots squirrels with them, Then gets the crock pot out


oh god lol


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## kapathy (Nov 20, 2010)

rons cigars become whichever vitola he prefers at that moment...regardless of what they actually were to begins with


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## CigarKidUSAF (Jul 11, 2011)

Ron once smoked a stogie with Chuck Norris himself. Guess who had the bigger ash?


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

Zilla was actually created when Ron once spit after smoking.


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

US Customs agents actually hand deliver all of Ron's ISOMs to him.


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

Ron has never ashed on himself. Once the ash _tried _to fall, and the rest of the cigar got so scared, it refused to let the ash go.


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## ejgarnut (Sep 28, 2009)

i think the only cigar Ron doesnt have or hasnt smoke would be the one where i grew all the tobacco, and then hand rolled it myself.


ah who am i kidding? he probably already has one of them!


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## kumanchu (Mar 16, 2011)

the sun is blinded by the light emanating from Ron's bombs.


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## ktblunden (Oct 7, 2010)

Ron doesn't use a lighter, he pulls the sun out of the sky to light his cigars. That's why we have day and night.


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## falconman515 (Jul 10, 2011)

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

I get a kick out of awesome comments like this for a amazing puffer.


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## tobacmon (May 17, 2007)

Aninjaforallseasons said:


> US Customs agents actually hand deliver all of Ron's ISOMs to him.


You mean Ron orders for/from Customs---:rockon:


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## BlackandGold508 (Jan 23, 2011)

ktblunden said:


> Ron doesn't use a lighter, he pulls the sun out of the sky to light his cigars. That's why we have day and night.


+ 1 The Dos Equis guy gave up his title to Ron, as the most interesting man in the world.


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## smirak (Jul 9, 2011)

I always thought Ron Stacey was an excellent **** name.


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## dougdog76861 (Jul 12, 2011)

CigarKidUSAF said:


> Ron once smoked a stogie with Chuck Norris himself. Guess who had the bigger ash?


lol


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## Oldmso54 (Jul 31, 2010)

shuckins said:


> yeah,but they start out with an image of zilla on them


That's pretty cool!


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

Ron has been an honorary Post Master General ever since he single handedly pulled them out of the red.

When Ron was being born the first thing the doctor saw was a puff of smoke.

We have yet to see Ron's true wrath. If we did it would be called the apocalypse.

Ron doesn't need cigars, cigars need him.


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

Ron doesn't actually pick cigars for his bombs. The cigars just volunteer to destroy his enemies.


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## funbags (Jan 19, 2011)

Ron can engage in bedroom sex from any room in the house.


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## NoShhhSherlock (Mar 30, 2011)

Ron Eats ZK members for breakfast, lunch and dinner.


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

NoShhhSherlock said:


> Ron Eats ZK members for breakfast, lunch and dinner.


Ron takes dumps and sends them to MOUTHew...who gladly smokes them.


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## gahdzila (Apr 29, 2010)

Remember the famous Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky cigar? President Clinton got that stick in a bomb from Ron....in a shuckins bomb tube no less!


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## Zogg (Aug 31, 2010)

The government's Stimulus plan involves increasing USPS prices near Shuckin's House by 10 cents


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## NoShhhSherlock (Mar 30, 2011)

primetime76 said:


> Ron takes dumps and sends them to MOUTHew...who gladly smokes them.


Haha, You're a funny guy Kipp. me >:spank:< you


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## gahdzila (Apr 29, 2010)

Ron's ashtray:


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

Ron once went on a rampage in Tokoyo, cigar in his mouth while the villagers ran in fear...this is what spawned a fire breating monster, Godzilla (and why Zilla is his alter ego).


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

Ron's RG is bigger than Chuck Norris'.

When Pres. Clinton asked Ron how to properly moisten the head of his cigars, Ron didn't realize he would take him so seriously.


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

Ron eats seasoned and fermented tobacco and craps Fuente Fuente Opus X Forbidden City.

ZK bombs sent to Ron hit him like a marshmallow.


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

Chuck Norris is really playing Ron in all of his movies.


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

Ron sends out bombs to members of Puff before they actually sign up as members. Because he's psychic.


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

Ron doesn't even know the meaning of "nicotine buzz".


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## castaweb (Apr 24, 2011)

Ron's humidor.


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## castaweb (Apr 24, 2011)

Ron Stacey weaned himself off of mothers milk.


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## Herf N Turf (Dec 31, 2008)

Ron's humidor prints money. He has a phone with an app that can built him his own private island. He has a lighter than can turn into a jet that will fly him to his island, where he has his own tobacco Chateau, curing barn and 50 virgin swimsuit models who roll him sticks on their thighs. In the evening, they all gather round him, fanning him with peacock feathers and hand feeding him peeled grapes.

Yet, he remains our humble, lovable Shuckins. :smoke:


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## 24571 (Jun 27, 2011)

There is no embargo. All CCs are sent directly to Ron who then decides who to send them to.


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## BMack (Dec 8, 2010)

Ron's actual phone number is: 420 60031 9101 1288 8230 0587 0731 20


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## Mante (Dec 25, 2009)

Ron once blew a smoke ring at someone and it "twanged" them in the Soul!

Even Aussies are not immune.


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## Mante (Dec 25, 2009)

Herf N Turf said:


> Ron's humidor prints money. He has a phone with an app that can built him his own private island. He has a lighter than can turn into a jet that will fly him to his island, where he has his own tobacco Chateau, curing barn and 50 virgin swimsuit models who roll him sticks on their thighs. In the evening, they all gather round him, fanning him with peacock feathers and hand feeding him peeled grapes.


So I assume Ron's surname is Fuente.


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## TonyBrooklyn (Jan 28, 2010)

Ron is a class act!!!!!!!!!!
He is wanted for terrorist activity!!!!!!
Bombs sent to innocent victims!!!!!!!!!!!
Damn i am glad to be one of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks again my brother!!!!!!!!!!!!!:rockon:


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## CeeGar (Feb 19, 2007)

Ron's cigars stay lit in the rain...


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## Tritones (Jun 23, 2010)

Make up the name for a new cigar and Ron will pull one out of his humidor - in any vitola - aged five years minimum.


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## Desertlifter (Feb 22, 2011)

Ron doesn't retrohale cigars. Cigars retrohale Ron.


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## gentimmy (Nov 1, 2010)

ron's cigars cure cancer...take that anti-tobacco legislation


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## kumanchu (Mar 16, 2011)

jesus made water into wine at a wedding.

ron made opus x's out of dollar bills at the bachelor party.


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## E Dogg (Mar 23, 2011)

Ahhhh man, I guess I need to change my avatar out:

I know I really never deserved it....

Chuck Norris wears Zilla pajamas to bed


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## E Dogg (Mar 23, 2011)

When God created the world in 7 days, he looked down and saw a man smoking a cigar and said "Ron? is that you?" 

When the government wanted to make the first atomic bomb, they called on Ron for advice.

Yes, Ron can puff a cigar twice....at the same time.


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## Tan18_01 (Jun 2, 2011)

Gurkha produces so many different lines of cigars in hopes of keeping Ron entertained.

One day Ron was smoking a cigar when 3 snakes attacked him. That's how Culebras were invented.

Tobacco is the fruit of Ron's loins.

Ron never nubs a cigar because the ash turns into unburnt tobacco again, in fear of making Ron angry.


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## Zogg (Aug 31, 2010)

How did we all miss this joke?

Ron punches all of his cigars..with his fists.


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## gentimmy (Nov 1, 2010)

ZING!


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## Mante (Dec 25, 2009)

Hahahaaaaaaaa... you guys are killing me!


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## eric.ford (Jun 8, 2011)

Cigar companies roll cigars with Ron in mind


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

When a new pope is chosen, they call in Ron to send up the smoke signal.


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

The smoke from a cigar smoked by Ron could kick Chuck Norris' *ss.

Ron's humidors never run out of cigars, they simply replicate.

All of the cigars smoked on Boston Legal at the end of the show were the results of bombs from Ron.

When Kennedy okay'd the embargo against Cuba, he had a clause added... "Except for Shuckins".

CI, Famous, JR, Atlantic, Tampa, etc. collectively called Ron to ask if they could use his stash as their warehouse.


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## E Dogg (Mar 23, 2011)

Zilla is what Willis was talking about

If you have five cigars and Ron has five cigars, Ron has more sticks than you!

Ron ordered some CC's from CI.....and got some


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

E Dogg said:


> Ron ordered some CC's from CI.....and got some


Hand delivered by the owner I presume.


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## Desertlifter (Feb 22, 2011)

When a CC is rolled on non-virgin thighs, Ron knows.


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## ktblunden (Oct 7, 2010)

Desertlifter said:


> When a CC is rolled on non-virgin thighs, Ron knows.


Ron knows no cigars are rolled on the thighs of virgins, because he personally deflowered all the virgins...ever.


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## smelvis (Sep 7, 2009)

Ron had a flat tire and triple A called him.


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## E Dogg (Mar 23, 2011)

smelvis said:


> Ron had a flat tire and triple A called him.


ound:ound:ound:ound:ound:

Was it 5 Vegas triple A?


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## E Dogg (Mar 23, 2011)

Yeah Nat Geo is pretty cool, but I think they got it wrong.....unless they're just referring to Ron as "scientists" because they are too afraid to say his name


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

If you look in the mirror with the lights off and say Rons name three times his spirit will appear and bomb you.


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## Shibby (Jul 13, 2011)

socalocmatt said:


> If you look in the mirror with the lights off and say Rons name three times his spirit will appear and bomb you.


I actually have absolutely no doubt that this is a very true statement


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

Ron was going to bomb himself once, but he was too afraid of what the retaliation would be like.

Then he did it anyway.


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

JFK isn't dead...he staged his death after the embargo and now lives with Ron and smokes his Upmanns.


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## ktblunden (Oct 7, 2010)

There is no chin under Ron's beard, only more cigars.


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

Ron doesn't need to cut his cigars. They simply open up and offer themselves too him willingly (and always with the perfect draw).


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## Tritones (Jun 23, 2010)

Yea, and when Ron did see the infernal mould that grew upon a cigar in his humidor, he did declare with thunderous voice, "It's plume!"

And it was plume.


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

On the first day, god created Ron
on the second day, god created tobacco
...and the rest is history.


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

primetime76 said:


> On the first day, god created Ron
> on the second day, god created tobacco
> ...and the rest is history.


I always though that Ron created tobacco :noidea:


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

socalocmatt said:


> I always though that Ron created tobacco :noidea:


On the first day god created Ron
On the second day, Ron created tobacco
...the rest is history.


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

Amen brother


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## Tritones (Jun 23, 2010)

God finished creating all that He set out to create, and Ron handed Him a congratulatory cigar.

God said, "Let there be a light." By this He meant, "I need a light."

Ron offered Him his torch.

God took the lighter, lit the cigar, drew a breath, and said, "Behold, this is good!"

I think it was a Guten Cala.


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## Nubbin (Jul 13, 2011)

Ron doesn't blow smoke rings, he blows smoke bombs!


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## k-morelli (Jun 22, 2011)

CeeGar said:


> Ron's cigars stay lit in the rain...


Ron's cigars scare the rain away from them



primetime76 said:


> On the first day god created Ron
> On the second day, Ron created tobacco
> ...the rest is history.


On the first day, God created Ron
On the second day, Ron created tobacco
On the third day, Ron bombed God
... the rest is history


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## Tritones (Jun 23, 2010)

Cigar Walker, Tennessee Cigar Ranger.


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## E Dogg (Mar 23, 2011)

Ron can literally catch a falling start and light his cigar with it...

How come the Chinese and Indians outnumber Americans by the billions? 
Oh come on, do I really need to answer that one  

When Ron pokes you on face book , your PC explodes.


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## E Dogg (Mar 23, 2011)

If you type in Ron Stacy on google and hit "I'm feeling lucky", again, your PC will explode

When Ron is bitten by a vampire, the vampire turns into a cigar....The Ron smokes it


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## Tritones (Jun 23, 2010)

For the eyes of the Ranger are upon you
Anything you smoke, he's gonna see
So when you light your cigar, look behind you
'Cause that's where the Ranger's gonna be.


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## ktblunden (Oct 7, 2010)

E Dogg said:


> When Ron is bitten by a vampire, the vampire turns into a cigar....The Ron smokes it


Where do you think Tatuaje Dracs came from?


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

Ron lights his sticks with his index finger.


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

Before Zino Davidoff wrote his essay on cigar etiquette, he asked for Ron's advice.

Obviously, he didn't listen very well, so Ron bombed him.


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

Pearlman's Cigar Encyclopedia was actually written by Ron, Pearlman plagerized Ron's writings....Pearlman is no more.


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

Someone gave Shuckins a Punch... so he bombed them, because no one Punches Shuckins.


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## Tritones (Jun 23, 2010)

Look up "Chuck Norris" in any cigar encyclopedia, and you'll find Ron's picture.


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## gibson_es (Jan 23, 2010)

Castro himself sends ron his cubans, for fear of ron taking cuba.


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## Oldmso54 (Jul 31, 2010)

Kipp - PM me urgent (soory for the hijack)


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## Tritones (Jun 23, 2010)

Cigar shipments try to hijack themselves to Ron's house so they can see all their friends, family, and ancient ancestors.


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## smelvis (Sep 7, 2009)

Saturns rings are from Ron blowing smoke rings.


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## lebz (Mar 26, 2011)

When Rons bowls… he bowls overhand.. with a Cigar in the other hand


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

Ron bowls with his feet because he needs both hands for both cigars.

The satellite photos showing the missiles in Cuba during the Cuban missle crisis are actually some of Ron's Churchills. 

Castro asked Ron to sell back the CCs he has because Cuba ran out.

When Castro's health was failing, he didn't actually ask his brother to second him, he asked Ron.

Oh wait... nevermind, Cuba is Ron's humidor.


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

Ron's cigars bloom diamonds.


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

Torcedores worldwide wanted to make a new Vitola called "Ron", but out of modesty, Ron said no and bombed them all.


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

The Mayan Calendar predicts that on 12/21/2012 Ron will not send out a bomb and thus will be the end or the world.


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

Cloudy days are the results of a single puff by Ron.

Remember when LA had so many problems with smog? That's because Ron lived there in the 80's.


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

When Ron saw reviews of some cigars and the reviewers said they were harsh, he had no idea what they were talking about. Cigars are just too afraid to be harsh with Ron.


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

CA reviews Ron's reviews


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

Ron chiseled the Mayan calendar with cigar smoke.


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

Cigars given to the President of the U.S. and other world leaders are never presented by any cigar makers... they're actually Shuckins Bombs.


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

Ron does not draw, the smoke simply runs from the cigar into his mouth because it "knows better"


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

Ron's teeth are made from razor sharp 440 stainless steel with an HRC of 57, so Zino Davidoff made an exception for Ron when he said never to bite the head from a cigar.


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

Cigars are so afraid of Ron that no matter how crappy they are, they turn themselves into Fuente Fuente Opus X Forbidden Cities...


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

Ron pulled a twig off of a cedar tree once and it turned into a Padron.


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

I lied earlier when I said Ron used his index finger to light his cigars. In fact, he just looks at them and they light themselves... if he wills it.


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

A NC cigar turns into a Cuban, if Ron wants a cuban but grabs a NC.


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

Whenever Ron's yard gets raked... the leaves turn into perfectly aged and fermented tobacco.


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

The only thing Ron hasn't done regarding cigars is invent the idea of using KL. That was TonyBrooklyn's idea... but only because Ron allowed it. (Sorry Tony!  )


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

When Sam Leccia wanted to invent the Nub, he asked Ron how to do it.


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

The Fuentes go to Ron for blend advice.


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

This is my 500th post... because Ron willed it.


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## Mr_mich (Sep 2, 2010)

When Ron wants a cigar, he closes his eyes and lifts his hand. within seconds a cut and lit cigar magically apears ready to be enjoyed.


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## Mr_mich (Sep 2, 2010)

Every cigar Ron White smoked on stage was bombed to him by Shuckins.


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## Mr_mich (Sep 2, 2010)

Ron's house is a multi room walk in humidor.


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## Mr_mich (Sep 2, 2010)

Ron's scent is a natural cigar beetle repellent.


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

Ron introduced George Burns to cigars


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## Mr_mich (Sep 2, 2010)

Ron owns the trademark for the word "bomb" any time you write, speak, or think the word bomb, you are legaly obligated to send Ron a cigar.


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

when one of Ron's bombs land, the governor of the state that it landed in is forced to declare a state wide emergency and bring in the national guard to fix it.


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

Once, Zilla pissed off Ron so Ron bombed him...then Zilla Bombed Ron and it went back and forth...this was the beginning of WWII.


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## Mr_mich (Sep 2, 2010)

Rons favorite cigar is a Ron Mexico


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

Mr_mich said:


> Rons favorite cigar is a Ron Mexico


Only because Ron can turn an RM into Fuente Fuente Opus X Forbidden City.


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## Mr_mich (Sep 2, 2010)

This smiley was based on a picture of Ron
:cowboyic9:


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## Mr_mich (Sep 2, 2010)

nealw6971 said:


> Only because Ron can turn an RM into Fuente Fuente Opus X Forbidden City.


Dont all the Ron Mexico's taste like Opus X :smoke:


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

Mr_mich said:


> Dont all the Ron Mexico's taste like Opus X :smoke:


Only if Ron wills it.


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

This is my 3,000th post...but only because Ron allowed me to get this far.


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## CigarKidUSAF (Jul 11, 2011)

Ron is currently working on a project with Willy Wonka... Everlasting Cigars!


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## snagstangl (Aug 21, 2010)

Ron draws with such force that his unlit cigars lite themselves.... perfectly of course. The rest of us can only approach such a light with the three match method.


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## smelvis (Sep 7, 2009)

Ron buy's red dots and the vendor is so worried they send him these instead


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## smelvis (Sep 7, 2009)

Ron kicked her out of the State for eating crackers in bed


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## Shibby (Jul 13, 2011)

smelvis said:


> Ron buy's red dots and the vendor is so worried they send him these instead


Oh my, i want one


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## E Dogg (Mar 23, 2011)

Ron can smoke underwater

When Ron goes to bed, he doesn't count cigars.... He smokes them

Ron can fit 100 cigars in a 50 cigar humidor

Shuckins is not only a noun, but a verb


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

Ron poops Opus X's.


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

Ron Stacy's A and B blends can cure cancer.


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

E Dogg said:


> Shuckins is not only a noun, but a verb


We went over this one before, it is also an adjective.

Adjective: Man that bomb had a very Shuckinesque quality to it.
Verb: Dude, you just got Shuckinated.


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

2005 called and wanted it's joke back. Ron got so mad, he dismissed Cohiba's trademark suit.


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## carpenter (Feb 20, 2011)

Aninjaforallseasons said:


> Ron poops Opus X's.


Just think about that next time someone gets a bomb with an opus from him.


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

Aninjaforallseasons said:


> Ron poops Opus X's.


I posted that about 100 posts back! LOL. And they're forbidden city, btw.


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

Aninjaforallseasons said:


> Ron poops Opus X's.





carpenter said:


> Just think about that next time someone gets a bomb with an opus from him.


Instead of a Dog Rocket, its knows as a Ron Rocket.


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## Nathan King (Nov 4, 2010)

Ron once had a bad case of kidney stones. He sold them to Heartfelt Industries where we now refer to them as humidity beads.

Ron bleeds PG solution.


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

Ron leaves his sticks on a table...and the atmosphere adjusts the humidity for him.


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## Mr_mich (Sep 2, 2010)

Where ever Ron is the weather adjusts itself to a perfect 70 degrees 65 rh.


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

Ron can keep CCs and NCs in the same humidor, with different rHs.


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

Ron's beard trimmings become Behikes.


On their own.


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

All of Ron's cigars are infused... 


with amazingness.


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## Tritones (Jun 23, 2010)

It was originally going to be called "Cigar Wars" but Ron had better things to do.


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## Mr_mich (Sep 2, 2010)

Ron doesn't use Distilled water to maintain RH, he uses baby seal tears, given freely of course.


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## BMack (Dec 8, 2010)

Ron, himself, has a 62% RH.


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

Ron sent me a Ron Stacey Signature Corona to review...just one cigar in the box...by the time it reached me, there was a full 5 finger baggie. Ron's cigars apparently multiply on their own.


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

That's because Ron Stacy Signatures are as good as sex.


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

Aninjaforallseasons said:


> I would have sex with Ron Stacy.


:jaw:


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## E Dogg (Mar 23, 2011)

ound:ound:ound:ound:ound:


good one


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

LMAO. Glad you fixed that for him. :biglaugh:


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

primetime76 said:


> Ron sent me a Ron Stacey Signature Corona to review...just one cigar in the box...by the time it reached me, there was a full 5 finger baggie. Ron's cigars apparently multiply on their own.


+1 on that.


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

primetime76 said:


> Aninjaforallseasons said:
> 
> 
> > I would have sex with Ron Stacy
> ...


That's a really weird thing to project, Kipp.


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## Mr_mich (Sep 2, 2010)

I'm starting to feel bad for Ron, you guys are going to scare him away!


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## Shibby (Jul 13, 2011)

Mr_mich said:


> I'm starting to feel bad for Ron, you guys are going to scare him away!


Rons gonna scare us outta doing this before he runs away!


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## StogieNinja (Jul 29, 2009)

Ron doesn't run from fear. Fear runs from Ron.


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## Mr_mich (Sep 2, 2010)

""Fear"" is an unreleased Tat LE blend. It wasn't released because Ron didn't like it and Pete was afraid to release a cigar without prior approval of the Shuckins!


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## Goodkat (Sep 3, 2010)

When I couldn't think of clever things to put in this post, Ron dictated to me these facts about Himself via smoke signal:

Calling Ron "the Chuck Norris of cigars" is insulting... to Ron.

Any pronoun referring to Ron must be capitalized.

Smoking bans lift themselves in His presence.

Every herf is held in His honor.

The variation in the burn line on His cigars is less than a Planck length.

The CO2 emitted from His cigars His directly responsible for 35% of the current warming trend.

A woman can regain her virginity by rolling a cigar for Ron on her thigh.

He once commissioned a cigar so big He couldn't smoke it, and then smoked it anyway.

Reality exists so than Ron may smoke, and His smoking is the only constant in every parallel universe.

Thou shalt have no other Ron before Him.


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

When Ron smokes, he never "nubs" a cigar, he smokes the entire thing, and then smokes the ash.


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

Ron's mailbox can not be blown up...and on the off chance that it happens, it grows itself back and automatically sends out 25 or more bombs because it is mad.


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## BlackandGold508 (Jan 23, 2011)

Ron is the Kaiser Soze of the cigar world. He is Pete Johnson, He is Don Pepin. He is Arturo Fuente, He is Andre Farkus etc.....


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## cartey (Jul 28, 2011)

Why does Saturn have a ring? Well, Ron was smoking one day...


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## Tritones (Jun 23, 2010)

primetime76 said:


> When Ron smokes, he never "nubs" a cigar, he smokes the entire thing, and then smokes the ash.


This is true - I've seen him do it.


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## the_brain (May 1, 2011)

Sorry to bring this one back to life, but....

T=0 happened because Ron wanted to smoke.

Lets see how many science geeks we have out there...


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## s_vivo (Jan 31, 2010)

the_brain said:


> Sorry to bring this one back to life, but....
> 
> T=0 happened because Ron wanted to smoke.
> 
> Lets see how many science geeks we have out there...


Best one so far....


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

the_brain said:


> Sorry to bring this one back to life, but....
> 
> T=0 happened because Ron wanted to smoke.
> 
> Lets see how many science geeks we have out there...


I'm not sure what the heck T=0 is... but damn, that was a Big Bang!


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## ShortFuse (Jun 6, 2011)

Ron is such a cigar icon, his son had a lighter named on his behalf.


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## Johnpaul (Aug 15, 2011)

String theory is an active research framework in particle physics that attempts to reconcile quantum mechanics, general relativity, and Ron Stacy. It is a contender for the theory of everything (TOE), a manner of describing the known fundamental forces and matter in a mathematically complete system. The theory has yet to make testable experimental predictions, leading some scientists to claim that it cannot be considered a part of science.

via Wikipedia

He is so bad ass science is stumped!


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## Tritones (Jun 23, 2010)

Zilla is actually the size of the Empire State Building.

Ron holds him in the palm of his hand.


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## the_brain (May 1, 2011)

Ron's lighter.


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

Ron was born to a cigar that was rolled on the thighs of the hottest virgin ever.


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## David_ESM (May 11, 2011)

the_brain said:


> Ron's lighter.


And it is ALWAYS fully operational.


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## the_brain (May 1, 2011)

The White House complains that Ron gets his mail first.


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## Johnpaul (Aug 15, 2011)

Ron has counted to infinity. Twice.


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

Ron's bombing style is an infinite loop.


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## Johnpaul (Aug 15, 2011)

USPS hired Chuck Norris to be Ron's mailman.


Ron can make a woman climax just by lighting his cigar.


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## Johnpaul (Aug 15, 2011)

I just couldn't help myself......

Ron is Tony Robbins's motivation

Ron smokes his briskets with Tatuaje

Satan tried to sell his soul to Ron for only one of his humidors

A recent study proved that Ron's shit, in fact, does not stink


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## watchman_01 (Jul 12, 2011)

Ron is soooo BAD that the earthquake we felt in Los Angeles was one of his Bombs landing.


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## E Dogg (Mar 23, 2011)

watchman_01 said:


> Ron is soooo BAD that the earthquake we felt in Los Angeles was one of his Bombs landing.


:nono: I'm pretty sure his distruction is larger than a 4.XX . That's something I would feel in the So. Inland Empire


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## watchman_01 (Jul 12, 2011)

E Dogg said:


> :nono: I'm pretty sure his distruction is larger than a 4.XX . That's something I would feel in the So. Inland Empire


Edit

Ron is so BAD that when he thought about sending a bomb to a Puffer in Los Angeles, they had an earthquake


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## Engineer99 (Aug 4, 2011)

Ron's genitals have their own genitals and his genitals genitals are bigger than yours.


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## E Dogg (Mar 23, 2011)

watchman_01 said:


> Edit
> 
> Ron is so BAD that when he thought about sending a bomb to a Puffer in Los Angeles, they had an earthquake


ound:ound:
that's much better


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## jp13 (Jul 12, 2011)

Johnpaul said:


> A recent study proved that Ron's shit, in fact, does not stink


IIRC I think the term given was "barnyard"


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## tobacmon (May 17, 2007)

Ron & George Burns played tennis together and afterwards had a smoke, libation and a few girls to boot!


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## tobacmon (May 17, 2007)

With the recent Earthquake and Hurricane(s) I think the cause was Ron's continuous bombings along the East Coast!

*There is another one brewing up and "I'm Begging Ron" to please cease fire--just until November!*


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## n00b (Jul 18, 2011)

ron doesnt snip the tip, the tip runs in fear.


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## karatekyle (Nov 2, 2010)

If he chose to, Ron could cut a guillotine cutter with a cigar.

Ron is never addicted to nicotine. Nicotine is addicted to him.

If the atomic bomb didn't work on hiroshima, a shuckins bomb was plan B.

People smoke Cohibas because they were originally rolled for Fidel Castro. Fidel Castro smokes the Ron Stacy Signature Sultans because they were originally rolled for Ron.

Ron can smoke a cigar with both ends lit. And never ash it.

The only infused cigar Ron smokes is Ron-infused. And it doesn't need a seperate humidor.

Ron once knitted a ball of steel wool into a guillotine cutter.

Ron never exhales smoke into his own eyes. The wind spontaneously changes direction to accomadate him.

Ron smokes cigars everywhere he does. Including outerspace, underwater, and inside Doctor Xavier's cerebro.

Ron occasionally chews his cigars. With his eyelids.


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## k-morelli (Jun 22, 2011)

Chuck Norris is the Ron of Texas Rangers


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## karatekyle (Nov 2, 2010)

When Ron is startled, he doesn't shit bricks, he shits brick and mortars.

When life gives Ron lemons, he makes a box of cigars. And they get 90+ ratings from Cigar Aficionado.

The tobacco for Ron's cigars is grown on on a concrete parking lot.

Even if Ron were broke, he could sill afford any cigar he wanted.

Ron can puff a cigar and sneeze at the same time.

Sometimes when he is bored, Ron will drink a cigar and smoke a glass of scotch.


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## the_brain (May 1, 2011)

*Brain:* Sorry to restart this, but it is appropriate for the noobs to see...

*Pinky:* So what are we adding?!?

*Brain:* Simple Pinky... Ron and Zilla just type random numbers into the forum and USPS honors them as DC...


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

When god said "let there be light" Ron was standing there with a torch and 2 cigars.


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## ten08 (Sep 8, 2011)

The world's most accurate hygrometer uses a strand of Ron's beard.


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## gosh (Oct 17, 2011)

Ron doesn't buy cigars, he rolls his own counterfeits. They're just better than the originals.

Ron doesn't light cigars, he just wills them to burn.

Nicotine has a Ron addiction.


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## smokin_dad (Jan 25, 2012)

Ok, who is the Ron guy that everyone is talking about? I am lost.


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## the_brain (May 1, 2011)

smokin_dad said:


> Ok, who is the Ron guy that everyone is talking about? I am lost.


*Brain:* Ron = Shuckins


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## TommyTree (Jan 7, 2012)

Johnpaul said:


> Ron has counted to infinity. Twice.


Coincidentally, he was counting his cigars at the time.


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## TommyTree (Jan 7, 2012)

Cuba, Honduras, Nicaragua and the Dominican Republic have never produced even one single cigar. They have actually just been selling what Shuckins bombed them and haven't yet run out.


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## WyldKnyght (Apr 1, 2011)

smokin_dad said:


> Ok, who is the Ron guy that everyone is talking about? I am lost.


If you have to ask.... you're in for a world hurt!!!!!


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## smokin_dad (Jan 25, 2012)

the_brain said:


> *Brain:* Ron = Shuckins


Thank you sir, now I know.


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## WyldKnyght (Apr 1, 2011)

smokin_dad said:


> Thank you sir, now I know.


Now that you know, I would either start planning to move, or fortify your mailbox!!!!


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## shuckins (Jun 24, 2009)

WyldKnyght said:


> Now that you know, I would either start planning to move, or fortify your mailbox!!!!


no addy in his profile...not that i was up to anything...just curious ya know...lol


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## WyldKnyght (Apr 1, 2011)

shuckins said:


> no addy in his profile...not that i was up to anything...just curious ya know...lol


Like that's ever stopped Zilla... in all due time....


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## the_brain (May 1, 2011)

shuckins said:


> no addy in his profile...not that i was up to anything...just curious ya know...lol


*Brain:* Since when did that stop you?!?

*Pinky:* Ron just sends the bomb to smoking_dad Clearwater FL, and it gets there...


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## hachigo (Feb 14, 2012)

It only took me a few days to see the power that is Ron. Someone bombed Ron once, but that person never existed.


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## android (Feb 27, 2012)

ron inhales cigar smoke and when he exhales, galaxies are born.

and

when ron smokes a cigar, the energy radiated from the cherry powers the sun.


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## smokin_dad (Jan 25, 2012)

Out of fear of the unknown, I was apprehensive about adding my addy to my profile! I have takin the proper steps to do so! 

is it normal to fear someone whom you never met? 

It only took Ron 1 day to create earth, not 7!


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

android said:


> ron inhales cigar smoke and when he exhales, galaxies are born.
> 
> and
> 
> when ron smokes a cigar, the energy radiated from the cherry powers the sun.


Ron is going to blow an Android the eff up!


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## WyldKnyght (Apr 1, 2011)

smokin_dad said:


> Out of fear of the unknown, I was apprehensive about adding my addy to my profile! I have takin the proper steps to do so!
> 
> is it normal to fear someone whom you never met?
> 
> It only took Ron 1 day to create earth, not 7!


Well it's been nice knowing you, I give you 2-3 days before the charred remains of your mailbox need to be removed.....


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## shuckins (Jun 24, 2009)

9405 5036 9930 0437 9342 12
9405 5036 9930 0437 9342 29
9405 5036 9930 0437 9342 36
9405 5036 9930 0437 9342 67
9405 5036 9930 0437 9342 81
9405 5036 9930 0437 9342 98


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## Adam (Jun 17, 2010)

Uh oh...


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## E Dogg (Mar 23, 2011)

ound: 

:target::target::target::target::target:


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## WyldKnyght (Apr 1, 2011)




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## watchman_01 (Jul 12, 2011)

shuckins said:


> 9405 5036 9930 0437 9342 12
> 9405 5036 9930 0437 9342 29
> 9405 5036 9930 0437 9342 36
> 9405 5036 9930 0437 9342 67
> ...


What is there to say after this post? This validates the whole thread.


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## TommyTree (Jan 7, 2012)

watchman_01 said:


> What is there to say after this post? This validates the whole thread.


Absolutely. Let's see Chuck Norris cause so much destruction!


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## Adam (Jun 17, 2010)




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## watchman_01 (Jul 12, 2011)

Adam said:


>


Adam you have to decide if Ron is Bruce Lee or Chuck Norris? You may have to start another thread if you are going to go with Bruce Lee?


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## Adam (Jun 17, 2010)

Bruce Lee was actually playing the part that Ron turned down. "One man can only carry so much fame" is what I believe he said while turning the role down.


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## socalocmatt (Dec 22, 2010)

Cubans sneak Ron's cigars into their country.


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## smokin_dad (Jan 25, 2012)

HE GOT ME!!! I posted the damage in the pictures section!!! Damn him!! I know understand the true meaning of this thread!!


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## whodeeni (Nov 3, 2009)

shuckins said:


> yeah,but they start out with an image of zilla on them


How F'n Cool is that! You're the man Ron!


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## primetime76 (Feb 8, 2011)

Adam said:


>


I have seen Ron...THAT is not Ron...that is wRONg! LOL


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## abhoe (Feb 29, 2012)

His cigars don't need humidity to stay fresh, relative Humidity needs his cigars.

If ever you have been curious about what the relative in "relative humidity" is referring to, it refers to that of shuckins humidor.


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## shuckins (Jun 24, 2009)

9405 5036 9930 0444 6153 88
9405 5036 9930 0444 6153 40
9405 5036 9930 0444 6154 49
9405 5036 9930 0444 6154 25
9405 5036 9930 0444 6154 18


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## Goatmilk (Jan 2, 2012)

Kaizad Hansotia uses Ron's toilet as inspiration to come up with his newest lines


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## WyldKnyght (Apr 1, 2011)

Another one bites the dust... or 5


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## gosh (Oct 17, 2011)

It's like Ron is trying to prove a point or something....


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## WyldKnyght (Apr 1, 2011)

gosh said:


> It's like Ron is trying to prove a point or something....


Ron doesn't have to prove a point, Ron does what he wants....


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## smokin_dad (Jan 25, 2012)

5 people should kiss their mailbox goodbye!!


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## TommyTree (Jan 7, 2012)

smokin_dad said:


> 5 people should kiss their mailbox goodbye!!


Or one person can kiss his (or her) state goodbye. I'm not even sure which frightens me more.


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## hachigo (Feb 14, 2012)

What was that saying? There are two types of people in this world, those who have been bombed by shuckins and those that have yet to be bombed? I am starting to understand that now.


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## gahdzila (Apr 29, 2010)

gosh said:


> It's like Ron is trying to prove a point or something....


Ron doesn't have a point to prove...points have a Ron to prove (and they always fail miserably, of course - who or what could compare to Ron?!?)


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## jrussett (Mar 8, 2011)

sounds like this is the guy who keeps the mailbox makers in business!


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## exprime8 (May 16, 2011)

The Worlds Most Interesting Man listens to Ron for advice !!!


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## TommyTree (Jan 7, 2012)

exprime8 said:


> The Worlds Most Interesting Man listens to Ron for advice !!!


Are you suggesting Ron talks to himself?


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## kozzman555 (Sep 10, 2011)

Ron has bombed Mars. That's why there are no signs of life there anymore
The chief export of Tennessee is cigars...from Ron's bombs.
UFO's are just smoke rings from Ron lighting up a cigar
Ron gave Ellen Degeneres a cigar that was so awesome it turned her straight
Ron is so awesome the Troop Rally donates cigars to him
Ron's stash is so big it can be seen from outer space with the naked eye
Ron doesn't use spell check. If he misspell's a word, the dictionary automatically changes
Ron can piss in gale force winds
Ron can also smoke in gale force winds


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## Stench (Aug 17, 2009)

kozzman555 said:


> Ron can piss in gale force winds
> Ron can also smoke in gale force winds


I think you mean that gale force winds are the result of Ron smoking...and umm, pissing?

Too funny, Ron you are a class act! We are not BOTL because of the leaf, we are BOTL because Ron lets US!


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## Adam (Jun 17, 2010)

HA!!! The new Dos Equis commercial... The most interesting man... Cuba imports cigars from him... BAHAAHHAAAA!!!


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## exprime8 (May 16, 2011)

Normal people have trees that grow fruit in their back yards. Rons trees dont grow fruit, they grow cigars, he simply walks out to his yard in the mornings and plucks the ripe ones for that days smokes


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## WyldKnyght (Apr 1, 2011)

Ron's first bomb was to Eve!!!!


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## Laki (Apr 14, 2012)

Ron's ash is longer than his cigar.

Ron's ring gauge is measured in feet.

Ron's cigar adjusts its length to the amount of time he wants to smoke.


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## Sharadeth (Nov 3, 2011)

Ron once dropped a lit cigar and Mount St. Helens was created.

Most people don't know this but most of the Hague and Geneva conventions discussion was on limiting the power of Ron's bombs. Their plan obviously failed.

Orson Welles once did a radio broadcast describing one of Ron's bombs and it caused mass panic. The government later forced it to covered up as an adaptation of The War of the Worlds.

Rumor has it that Ron once smoked a cigar that he didn't like but the news never made it public because he removed he incident from the space time continuum.

Schrodinger's cat experiment solely depends on Ron's opinion of that particular cat.


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

Ron doesn't need the USPS, the USPS needs Ron. No, really. Without his bombs, they'd cease to exist...


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

Sara Palin once said, "I can see Russia from Ron's back porch..." and she really could...


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## Sharadeth (Nov 3, 2011)

Ron once sent a package to Russia that got lost mid shipment. We now know it today as the Tunguska incident.

Ron once hit a kid in his car and broke his leg. Ron nursed the kid back to health and the kid went on to set a world record for the 100m dash.


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## nealw6971 (Jul 8, 2011)

The child's name was Usain Bolt...


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## Sharadeth (Nov 3, 2011)

Ron once found a beached whale and performed the Heimlich. Not only did he save the whale but he also caused the whale to cough up Jonah.


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## Fuzzy (Jun 19, 2011)

Ron went fishing with dynamite, Lit it with his cigar and threw it in the water, Killed fifty fish and then the dynamite went off.


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## Tritones (Jun 23, 2010)

Ron doesn't review cigars - he tells them what to taste like.


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## whodeeni (Nov 3, 2009)

This has probably been said, but "Ron Stacy" is the most interesting Man in the World!


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