# If your Humi could talk?



## dwhitacre (Jan 2, 2008)

Lately there have been a bunch of Threads started with people getting new humidors. I am jealous. I just got my very first Humi for Christmas, thanks to my wonderful, Ring Gauge loving, wife. I am already thinking I need a bigger better Humi.

What if your Humi could talk? What would it say?


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## rx2010 (Jan 4, 2007)

quit opening me!


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## Will_S (Jan 2, 2008)

My humi is a rubbermaid and it does talk. It whispers "Feed Me, Feeeeed Meee, FEEEED MEEEE!"


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## Kondour (Dec 28, 2007)

Mine says everytime i open it up... "Get in ma belly!!"


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## zemekone (Aug 1, 2004)

"All you do is feed me all this old stuff!"


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## doctorcue (Apr 19, 2006)

I'm too fat as is and you keep feeding me.


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## tchariya (Feb 26, 2007)

"That stuff smells like sh*t!*


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## bobarian (Oct 1, 2007)

"Get another Vinotemp or cooler so I can lose some weight":tu


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## dayplanner (Dec 11, 1997)

rx2010 said:


> quit opening me!


:tpd:

i open my humi and look at my sticks wayyyy too often.


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## drhalle (Jul 24, 2007)

They would say, "We love you too, honey."

Hey, I touch them more than I touch my wife.
They always see me with a smile on my face.
And I constantly worry about their well being. 
They smell great, look good and give me hours of fun.


 Oh no, I'm cheating on my wife with my Humidors!!


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## daniyal (Oct 9, 2007)

Stop touching me!


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## AriesOpusX (Oct 15, 2007)

It's too humid in here you're making my hair frizz!

My humidor sounds like Fran Drescher :hn


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## tobii3 (Jun 30, 2006)

""Help Me......Help YOU..."" (a la Jerry Maguire)

either that or


""Who's Yo Daddy?""

:ss


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## StayingWarm (Nov 2, 2007)

'You better find me some more sticks, son. I'm tired of sitting here all empty and stuff, waiting for your lazy @$$ to go to the B&M again!!! I'm not keeping this area humidified for my health, here" 

or something similar. I think my humidor hates me.


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## GrtndpwrflOZ (May 17, 2007)

"Come on you know you want to....."


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## awsmith4 (Jun 5, 2007)

Advil said:


> :tpd:
> 
> i open my humi and look at my sticks wayyyy too often.


:tpd::tpd:


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## Mr.Maduro (Aug 2, 2006)

_"Warden, you better start pushing those executions through.....its getting way too crowded in this damn prison!!"_ :hn


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## fizguy (Jul 26, 2006)

Mine would say "I love it when you look at me like that."


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## gnukfu (Dec 19, 2007)

"Is that a Presidente or are you just happy to see me?"


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## dwhitacre (Jan 2, 2008)

Advil said:


> :tpd:
> 
> i open my humi and look at my sticks wayyyy too often.





daniyal said:


> Stop touching me!





StayingWarm said:


> 'You better find me some more sticks, son. I'm tired of sitting here all empty and stuff, waiting for your lazy @$$ to go to the B&M again!!! I'm not keeping this area humidified for my health, here"
> 
> or something similar. I think my humidor hates me.





GrtndpwrflOZ said:


> "Come on you know you want to....."





fizguy said:


> Mine would say "I love it when you look at me like that."


Mine would say all of the above as well as the ones that couldn't fit on the line above.

I love the posts where the humi's have voices like Fran Drescher and Jerry Mcguire. So far mine only sound like my voice maybe because I'm a newbie. Maybe the voice changes with experience or mental illness. :chk

AriesOpusX, one question - Why does your humi have hair? Please send a picture. Maybe you are farther down the slope than the rest of us.:hn

Danny and Bob, I'm with you my humi is small but... She need to lose some weight.

Kondour and zemekone, Remember - They're cigars, buddies, not little tubes of love.:tu


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## Addiction (May 8, 2007)

I think my humi would purr with contentment. She has just enough room in her to feel like she's at her fighting weight, and we are getting rid of average sticks (RP Edge and Sungrown for example) and replacing them with extraordinary sticks (White Owl Invincibles). On top of that I don't stare at her that often, I open her with tender loving hands and appreciate every moment.

Same is true of my long term storage fridgadoor.

My desktop tho she might not be as happy.....


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## The Professor (Jul 20, 2006)

zemekone said:


> "All you do is feed me all this FAKE stuff!"


There -- fixed it for you, Gerry.


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## gamayrouge (Dec 21, 2007)

Mine would say, "Do your parents hate me? I think they hate me."


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## rottenzombie (Jun 11, 2007)

drhalle said:


> They would say, "We love you too, honey."
> 
> Hey, I touch them more than I touch my wife.
> They always see me with a smile on my face.
> ...


:r:r:r


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## Fishbeadtwo (May 30, 2006)

My humidor say it's tired of me paying attention to the other "one" (wine cooler) and has threatened to take the kids and go to her mothers house if I don't stop seeing "her") the home wrecker.....


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## cbsmokin (Oct 10, 2007)

"Come on, you know you want some"


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## icehog3 (Feb 20, 2005)

"Feed me, Seymour!"


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## Da Klugs (Jan 8, 2005)

Nothing. Hard to talk with your mouth full.


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## Linder (Nov 8, 2006)

Mine would probably complain about being hungry. It's down to 3 sticks but luckily I have my first box on the way :tu


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## daniyal (Oct 9, 2007)

Your wife almost walked in on us...


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## nuke999 (Nov 10, 2006)

"BUUURP" Oh God....I am full!!


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## AuburnFan1980 (Jul 15, 2006)

"No, Jason....no matter how many times throughout the day you open me, you're still not going to have as many cigars in here as you'd like. Stop opening me and start bidding on cbid.com...you get paid on the 16th, you fool!" 

So that's exactly what i did 

JWR


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## gamayrouge (Dec 21, 2007)

icehog3 said:


> "Feed me, Seymour!"


I was gong to reference that at first! Little Shop of Horrors. Great flick! If I could give out ring guage, I'd add to your 16,xxx.:tu


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## dwhitacre (Jan 2, 2008)

cbsmokin said:


> "Come on, you know you want some"





icehog3 said:


> "Feed me, Seymour!"





Da Klugs said:


> Nothing. Hard to talk with your mouth full.





daniyal said:


> Your wife almost walked in on us...


I love these!!!:r

I just thought of one more mine would say, "Yes. They're still in there!"


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## schnell987 (Feb 13, 2007)

"I'm lonely...would you get me another coolerdor to play with?"


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## adsantos13 (Oct 10, 2006)

If you build it, they will come


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## BigFrankMD (Aug 31, 2007)

Mine would say, sitting me in the closet sucks bro.


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## krash (Sep 24, 2007)

"I swear if you put one more Thompson's House Blend in here I'm gonna hurl.":ss


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## stitch45 (Jun 21, 2006)

Mine would say .... OK Butt Head, You stuffed me in a box, taped it shut
Left me God knows where in the dark and cold for cryin' out loud!....
Now FEED ME Ya' Yutz, I'm Hungry already!

Sheesh ... I'm workin' on it ok ... I'm workin' on it ...
Damned beligerant thing ...


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## dwhitacre (Jan 2, 2008)

krash said:


> "I swear if you put one more Thompson's House Blend in here I'm gonna hurl.":ss


Oh for the love of god! Listen to your Humi!!!


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## JaKaAch (Sep 17, 2006)

"Does my butt look big in these Robustos?"


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## vstrommark (Oct 25, 2007)

"Just once, can't I have a night off? Oh, and you could stand to use some hand cream, caress-boy."


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## Will_S (Jan 2, 2008)

gnukfu said:


> "Is that a Presidente or are you just happy to see me?"


That IS funny


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## dwhitacre (Jan 2, 2008)

You just rotated... like... two hours ago!


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## BroNeilson (Mar 1, 2007)

Da Klugs said:


> Nothing. Hard to talk with your mouth full.


haha nice.


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## yayson (Aug 21, 2006)

the cleaning lady touches me when you're away


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## dwhitacre (Jan 2, 2008)

yayson said:


> the cleaning lady touches me when you're away


I hope she doesn't use Pledge!!! Wax is no good!!!


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## Opusfxd (Nov 17, 2007)

Who's next? :ss


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## dwhitacre (Jan 2, 2008)

Don't worry my friend. I will take care of them for you and make them smell nice!


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## bbaug14 (Sep 6, 2007)

How could you let me drown??? How???

Okay seriously though, it would probably be like surprising a beautiful woman in the shower.....

SHRIEK!!!!!! I'm naked in here!!!!!


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## gamayrouge (Dec 21, 2007)

BigFrankMD said:


> Mine would say, sitting me in the closet sucks bro.


I thought yours would have said "*Don't Taze Me Bro!!!" :r*


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## dwhitacre (Jan 2, 2008)

Why... hello little cigar cutter. Doing anything tonight?


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## Major Captain Silly (May 24, 2007)

Mine would say: "Dude! You gotta organize the cigars! How the hell do you know what you have? There is no logic to your sticks, man!"

MCS


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## dwhitacre (Jan 2, 2008)

Thank you for the contribution!!!


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## neoflex (Jan 3, 2006)

"This guy is F-in obsessed" followed by "Hey, quit sniffing me you freak!"


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## MarkinCA (Jun 13, 2007)

Psssssssssst, hey you, I can't breathe. They're using Sure Seal on me to shut me up. Please get word out to my people. Please help me breathe. Oh pleeeeeeeeeeeease...:tu


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## [email protected] (Jun 25, 2007)

"Hey buddy, what's going......hey! I was talking to you! Get back here! 

Stupid people and their leggs! You never what to talk. Just stop buy to get your 'jollies' and leave!"


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## dwhitacre (Jan 2, 2008)

You know you want one with your coffee right now!!!


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## Made in Dade (Aug 5, 2006)

All full in here, go someplace else.


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## daniyal (Oct 9, 2007)

All you ever do is take take take... I'm sick of it


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## daniyal (Oct 9, 2007)

You don't look at me the same way ever since you got her (pointing to the coolidor)


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## dwhitacre (Jan 2, 2008)

Smoke this Garcia y Vega and repent for spending good Valentine money on yourself rather than your wife.


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## daniyal (Oct 9, 2007)

dwhitacre said:


> Smoke this Garcia y Vega and repent for spending good Valentine money on yourself rather than your wife.


:r... I think its time to get the wife to start smoking


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## dwhitacre (Jan 2, 2008)

daniyal said:


> :r... I think its time to get the wife to start smoking


My humi says, "Amen to the Brother!!!"

Did some one ask if they make heart shaped humi's for the wife?


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## Scud (Sep 9, 2007)

"Ooohhhhh, I'm tellin!" and it would sound like Dee from What's Happening :tu


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## dwhitacre (Jan 2, 2008)

Thank you for bring on the road this weekend and showing me off to all your relatives! You little newbie!!!


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## acruce (Dec 29, 2007)

Mine would say ....Is that all......???


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## mhailey (Dec 28, 2007)

"you wuss!! Look at how much room you have in here!!"

and

"A Pipe?! you two timing, no good, low down, ...."


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## dwhitacre (Jan 2, 2008)

Get up off your butt and get to the Herf... Now!!!


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## dwhitacre (Jan 2, 2008)

daniyal said:


> You don't look at me the same way ever since you got her (pointing to the coolidor)


You put me in your coolidor!!! Thanks Bobarian!!!


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