# How do you deal with the girlfriend/wife when she tells you she hates cigars!



## JordanWexler (Mar 29, 2008)

Yea, basically my girlfriend absolutely loathes the fact that i smoke cigars, although i find it to be an incredibly soothing and enjoyable hobby.
Obviously many of you have similar problems -- just wondering what you say to get them off your back a little bit and get them to be more accepting of the hobby!
Its not like i am blowing smoke in anyone's face or anything. Just some sage advice would be much appreciated


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## Spect (Sep 19, 2007)

JordanWexler said:


> Yea, basically my girlfriend absolutely loathes the fact that i smoke cigars, although i find it to be an incredibly soothing and enjoyable hobby.
> Obviously many of you have similar problems -- just wondering what you say to get them off your back a little bit and get them to be more accepting of the hobby!
> Its not like i am blowing smoke in anyone's face or anything. Just some sage advice would be much appreciated


Don't worry too much about it. If she's loaths what you love chances are she's not going to last long.:2


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## King James (Dec 18, 2005)

Try talking to her and say its something you really enjoy and don't want to give up. Sucks that she feels that way, I'm fortunate enough to have a GF that will actually smoke one with me. Maybe cigars will grow on your GF


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## TheRealBonger (Sep 7, 2007)

I just reply "at least I am not smoking cigs all the time" She understands I like a good stogie when out with friends on the weekend. She usually replies " you are lucky I like you so much." So it seems to work out all right. :ss Also there are a few smokes she doesn't mind the scent of the second hand from. ie; 5 Vegas Classic, LFD Maduro Chiselito. I always ask now what she thinks of the smell and am searching for ones that she likes. :ss


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## SilverFox (Feb 19, 2008)

Makes me want to smoke a cigar :ss


In all seriousness my wife hates that I smoke cigars, hates the smell, thinks its unhealthy. So I had an honest authentic conversation with her and let her know about my hobby and what it meant to me, that I recognize the health dangers and that I choose as an adult in control of my own life to do it. I also comply with all her wishes with respect to my hobby, don't smoke near her, don't smoke in the house, scrub my teeth and mouthwash after a smoke etc.

She loves me and respects me and although she doesn't like my hobby she does like what it does for my peace of mind and general well being once I explained how I felt and what her comments made me feel she acquiesced. She supports me and my hobby but doesn't like it. To me that is what a relationship is about given and take.

Just my :2 but if you truly explain your feelings behind it and she still won't meet you half way then you have to wonder.


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## LordOfWu (Dec 31, 2007)

'Loathes' is pretty strong, Spect may be right...my wife doesn't like cigars, but she's OK with me doing it, as long as it's not in the house.


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## koolbooy (Dec 16, 2007)

so, how do u get them off your back? its easy.

1. charm them as they are bashing your hobby
2. sweet talk her, tell her shes beautiful and that nothing is better then her including your cigars
3. do the Dirty Mambo :chk* wink * wink *
4. go outside enjoy a stogie

they just want to know they come 1st. give her some attention and she'll leave you a lone. :tu

thankfully, my girl is kool with it


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## butterbeezy (Sep 12, 2007)

My wife doesn't like it either... she thinks it stinks. But she still lets me do it. I just don't smoke around her or around the house. If i'm going to a HERF i bring an extra set of clothes. I always carry mints and have that anti-bacterial stuff in the car. It may sound like alot but it keeps the peace. If she's still not happy then kick her to the curb :bn


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## mdtaggart (Sep 22, 2006)

Time for a new girl friend!


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## CoroHo (Jan 9, 2008)

My wife hates it too, but she knows I respect that and only do it outside when I'm by myself. She's a big girl and doesn't complain. I also smoke a pipe, which she does like, and I will offer to do that if we can share some nice weather.


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## houdini (Feb 6, 2008)

Tell her you hate something she likes and call it a compromise!


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## stearns-cl (Feb 27, 2008)

wasn't it zino davidoff that once said "if your wife doesn't like cigars, change your wife"? either way, switch out wife for girlfriend

just kidding, explain that its something you do for yourself, as im positive there are things she does for herself (manicures, and whatever else they do. i try not to get involved in that stuff for a good reason)

stearns


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## fizguy (Jul 26, 2006)

TheRealBonger said:


> I just reply "at least I am not smoking cigs all the time" She understands I like a good stogie when out with friends on the weekend. She usually replies " you are lucky I like you so much." So it seems to work out all right. :ss Also there are a few smokes she doesn't mind the scent of the second hand from. ie; 5 Vegas Classic, LFD Maduro Chiselito. I always ask now what she thinks of the smell and am searching for ones that she likes. :ss


That's a good idea. If she sees you making the effort to find a cigar with an aroma she likes she will appreciate it. I was smoking in a moderately public place one time and expected to be chewed out but two ladies walked past and said "mmm I love the smell of a pipe!" It was a cigar, but it still was a pleasantly surprising reaction.


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## psu08 (Oct 7, 2007)

houdini said:


> Tell her you hate something she likes and call it a compromise!


LOL awesome idea...if only it worked that way.


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## fireman43 (Oct 15, 2006)

My wife doesn't like the smell of cigars so I don't smoke them in the house. She doesn't like a lot of the things I do, but it goes both ways. As far as the cigars, I compromise and don't subject her to the smell. If she had outright forbidden me to smoke them.....Well, we probably wouldn't have gotten married. :tu


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## Andyman (Jun 8, 2004)

Don't sweat it too much. If you really like this girl just be aware of the smell.. If you are going to be with her make sure you change your clothes and shower to get the smell out.. Also brushing and listerine does wonders.


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## King James (Dec 18, 2005)

going off of trying to find a smell she likes, its a good way to try and include her in the hobby. If you can include her and get her interested a bit or at least curious.... might make things better. Take her to a herf so she can meet the people you smoke with and might warm up to the idea.


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## RPB67 (Mar 26, 2005)

I am lucky she can take it or leave it.

She realy doesnt mind it at all. However, I am my own boss. If I want to smoke a cigar and the time or the situation warrants it........I am smoking the cigar.

I am sure she does things you dont like. Sometimes you just have to bend when you are in a relationship.


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## hotreds (Dec 4, 2007)

Spect said:


> Don't worry too much about it. If she's loaths what you love chances are she's not going to last long.:2


I'd have to agree- remember- you love someone for what they are, not for what you want them to be. It's not realistic for you to expect to change her mind(esp. if she "loathes" the fact), and you would resent her forcing you to quit. Wishing you luck!


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## Ninja Vanish (Apr 7, 2005)

Remember, of course, the wise words of Rudyard Kipling in "The Betrothed".... "A woman is only a woman... but a good cigar is a smoke." Or one of my personal favorite pieces of worldly advice. 

"The cigar numbs sorrow and fills the solitary hours with a million gracious images." - George Sand

"A good cigar contains the promise of total bliss." - Zino Davidoff

What it seems like to me is that your particular girl doesn't understand cigar smoking. Which is becoming an unfortunately ever-too-widespread ignorance in this world and especially in the US. It could be fun to enlighten her about them. Perhaps even turn into a new activity that you may enjoy learning about together. However, if she is the type who is phobic about any smoke and has perhaps succumbed to all the anti-tobacco propaganda we've been fed since we were children I wouldn't push the issue. Just take solace in your knowledge of a fine hobby and the enjoyment and pleasure it offers and hope maybe one day she might come around.


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## php007 (Sep 25, 2007)

silverfox67 said:


> Makes me want to smoke a cigar :ss
> 
> In all seriousness my wife hates that I smoke cigars, hates the smell, thinks its unhealthy. So I had an honest authentic conversation with her and let her know about my hobby and what it meant to me, that I recognize the health dangers and that I choose as an adult in control of my own life to do it. I also comply with all her wishes with respect to my hobby, don't smoke near her, don't smoke in the house, scrub my teeth and mouthwash after a smoke etc.
> 
> ...


 What he said but she doesn't support it and I shower when I get home for the local shop or herf.


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## jack7382 (Mar 11, 2008)

if wife you need to master the art of smoking and not offending. divorce can be exspensive! i know,

Girlfriend? too easy, lots more women in this world then are men! find the one who like it!


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## NHsmoker (Feb 18, 2007)

Just tell her it relaxes you and you work hard so you like to have a cigar to unwind. If she cares about you that should be enough of a reason not to bother you about it.


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## KenS (Feb 22, 2008)

Take it slow, and don't make it seem like the stogie is more important than her (unless it is ).

My wife has gone through these stages so far:

-From "Why would you smoke those things?!"
-to: "ok, but not too often, ok?"
-to: Brought me home some (shy) stogies from Europe
-to: Bought me a sweet end table humi for christmas
-to: smoked a small cigarillo with me last weekend with a glass of wine in the hot tub.

Hey, this slope if slippery for all of us! Girlfriends and wives too! :ss


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## Addiction (May 8, 2007)

Don't smoke around her.


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## Ozone89 (Dec 29, 2006)

JordanWexler said:


> Yea, basically my girlfriend absolutely loathes the fact that i smoke cigars, although i find it to be an incredibly soothing and enjoyable hobby.
> Obviously many of you have similar problems -- just wondering what you say to get them off your back a little bit and get them to be more accepting of the hobby!
> Its not like i am blowing smoke in anyone's face or anything. Just some sage advice would be much appreciated


Jordan - Find yourself a woman who will accept you for "who" you are. I think we all went down that road of dating women who tried to change us. If it were me now in your shoes..I would run her down the road, and not think twice. The good Lord didn't put her on this earth to break your shoes, just like you're not on this earth to do that to her either.

If she can't accept the fact that her man smokes Cigars..and wants to enjoy himself..then she is a very selfish person. If she is not the girl for you..you will find a woman who will accept you AND your cigar smoking..and love you unconditionally all at the same time!

Tell her.."This is who I am..if you can't accept that, I'm not the man for you."

There is a reason why we are called MEN.


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## 44MAG (Mar 9, 2008)

shoot her in the foot or sometin, that will take her mind off cigars for awhile:ss


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## icehog3 (Feb 20, 2005)

Two words. "Buh" and "bye".

Buh bye now.  :r


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## macjoe53 (Jul 8, 2007)

My wife doesn't like it and thinks cigar smoking is just as bad as cigarettes - which I have never smoked.


Before we discovered our youngest daughter had asthma and allergies, I smoked a pipe on occasion and my wife didn't mind it because pipe tobacco "doesn't stink" according to her. In fact she bought me pipes as gifts. I stopped smoking everything at home because of my daughter's illness.

I still enjoyed an occasional cigar when I was on the road, out fishing, etc. Never at the house. Small sacrifice.

Our daughter now lives at school. My wife still doesn't like cigars. But on the other hand, I don't smoke inside the house. I only smoke maybe one or two a week and she doesn't really know how much I spend on cigars. So she don't complain too much.

In other words, we just deal with it without the bitching and moaning.


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## mdtaggart (Sep 22, 2006)

Perhaps we could better advise you if we knew more.
Is she hot? Maybe post a pic so we can help you decide if it's worth the fight.
J/K :ss


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## JordanWexler (Mar 29, 2008)

Wow guys! Thanks! Some awesome responses in there. Believe me i'll pull some out of the bag. 
Yea, if you couldn't tell by her reaction to cigars, she tends to be a little temperamental with other things too.
But thanks a ton guys. Nice to know I'm not the only one.


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## Costa (Jan 26, 2008)

> Is she hot?


Lets face it, the hotness factor always place a part in any decision...:ss

I'm thinking a possible upgrade with cigar accepting coming standard, maybe cigar loving/smoking as an option? Ahhhh, that new car smell.....:tu


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## taltos (Feb 28, 2006)

Keep in mind that women are like cars. If they are high maintenance when new, it gets much worse as they get older. My wife hates cigars so I smoke them outside or in my tool shed. Works for us.


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## JordanWexler (Mar 29, 2008)

Quote:
Is she hot?
Lets face it, the hotness factor always place a part in any decision... 


Oh believe me she is gorgeous. I would not have dealt with some of the things I have if she didn't grab a special place in my heart. 
But when she starts messing with my hobbies....i dunno man.


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## jamesb3 (Jan 29, 2008)

My wife doesn't mind that I smoke cigars at all:tu. She figures there are many nastier vices I could have. Now I don't smoke at home but have a great local B & M that is my second home. It's got a huge lounge and we have a great group of guys who frequent the place. Her one condition is that my cloths go straight to the laundry room when I get home. Small price to pay to enjoy my smokes. :ss


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## gvarsity (Dec 12, 2006)

My wife hates it and has her reasons beyond the usual it stinks and it's bad for you. (bad associations) I did a couple of things. 

One I presented her the health risks which are actually pretty low. People assume they are a similar health risk to cigarettes and they are not. Then I said you let me double cheeseburgers and drink as much as I want and drive a car all of which are significantly greater health risks than my cigar habit. So it's not about my health it's about the fact that you don't like it. 

I briefly explained the pleasure and relaxation it gives me. (Eyes glazed over so I didn't waste much time here)

Then I said you don't have to like it. I am an adult and I have been smoking cigars for longer than I have known you. Although my consumption both in smoking and purchasing has gone up since joining CS you knew about this hobby going in. 

I went on to say very nicely you are neither my mother nor my master you are my wife so you do not have the right to tell me I can't do this. I respect your opinion and I show that by going significantly out of my way to minimize your exposure to any aspect of my smoking. I would request you show me the same respect and would appreciate if you quit trying to further spoil the experience for me.

Now I would have to say this was only modestly successful. I.e. she still isn't thrilled but she doesn't hassle me about it. It has become sort of a don't ask don't tell policy about, what I buy how often I smoke etc... An agree to disagree situation. Makes a difference that we are married and not just dating although I don't think it would have been a deal breaker. Would be for some people and that needs to be evaluated on a case by case basis.


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## butterbeezy (Sep 12, 2007)

JordanWexler said:


> Yea, if you couldn't tell by her reaction to cigars, she tends to be a little temperamental with other things too.


You said it yourself man. High maintainence :hn if you can currently land a hot chick, who's to say you can't land another one. If she's gonna try to change you or "mold" you into her ideal man, then she can get to steppin. You are who you are and if she doesn't like that... well, you know.


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## Major Captain Silly (May 24, 2007)

silverfox67 said:


> Makes me want to smoke a cigar :ss
> 
> 
> In all seriousness my wife hates that I smoke cigars, hates the smell, thinks its unhealthy. So I had an honest authentic conversation with her and let her know about my hobby and what it meant to me, that I recognize the health dangers and that I choose as an adult in control of my own life to do it. I also comply with all her wishes with respect to my hobby, don't smoke near her, don't smoke in the house, scrub my teeth and mouthwash after a smoke etc.
> ...


I'm in the same boat as Silver Fox. It's not a perfect situation but it certainly could be worse!

MCS


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## BagfullofPings (Jan 10, 2007)

Show her where the door is!!!


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## Havanaaddict (Jul 6, 2003)

*It better you find out now then after you marry her!!!*
I must be one of the lucky ones I have a smoking lounge in my house and the wife sits in there and watchs movies with me and never says a word:ss And no she is not a smoker herself. I can even finsh smoking a few cigars and we head up stairs to get biz no teath brushing or nothing!!!:r I guess I am a lucky man for or anniversary she bought me some *80's Davidoff Chateau Margeauxs *
I think I will keep her!!!


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## Bigga Petey (Mar 25, 2005)

JordanWexler said:


> Quote:
> Is she hot?
> Lets face it, the hotness factor always place a part in any decision...


I'm going to have to disagree.
No amount of "hotness" is worth the grief.
Trust me on that. 
It's got to be easy.

My girlfriend knew up front that I smoked cigars.
Starting our third year together. 
Accepts it without any conditions.
I've been puffing for over twenty years.
It's who I am. 
And she is who she is.
It's all good.


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## Ozone89 (Dec 29, 2006)

I got extremely lucky with the girl I'm dating now. 

2 years ago, when I quit smoking cigarettes, her father introduced me to Cigars, and I haven't looked back. We have since moved into a apartment together, and she doesn't mind me smoking cigars in front of her at all. 
I am a very polite smoker, and I'd say 90% of the cigars I smoke..don't bother her..some I have do, but not to the point where she would say "Put it out".(she's not like that) 

My GF is also very supportive of this hobby, and she even went to Cigar fest with me last year, and had a wonderful time. 

Here is my Italian Hottie:


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## Donatom3 (Mar 27, 2008)

Ozone89 said:


> I got extremely lucky with the girl I'm dating now.
> 
> 2 years ago, when I quit smoking cigarettes, her father introduced me to Cigars, and I haven't looked back. We have since moved into a apartment together, and she doesn't mind me smoking cigars in front of her at all.
> I am a very polite smoker, and I'd say 90% of the cigars I smoke..don't bother her..some I have do, but not to the point where she would say "Put it out".(she's not like that)
> ...


So what you'e saying is only date girls who had fathers that smoked cigars and then we won't have any problems?


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## Ozone89 (Dec 29, 2006)

Donatom3 said:


> So what you'e saying is only date girls who had fathers that smoked cigars and then we won't have any problems?


Well..it helps..don't ya think? hehe


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## Bax (Sep 12, 2007)

My wife hates it, but I do my best to smoke when she's not around and make sure I shower and brush up before bed.

It's all about give and take. Make the effort not to offend her and she'll be more forgiving to you. :tu


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## rockyr (Aug 6, 2006)

From reading this thread, I must be a very lucky gorilla. My wife likes the smell of cigars. We both agree that we would rather keep the smell outside. She always asks what I am smoking and whether it is good or not. She comments on the cigars that she really likes the smell of. 

When I outgrew my humidor and wine coolidor she suggested that I find a larger cooled humidor. I bought an cooled Avallo 2000 and now she likes for me to show it off to guests.

The only time I get grief from her is when I buy cigars that I don't have room to store. :ss


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## Mr Flibble (Feb 29, 2008)

RPB67 said:


> I am my own boss. If I want to smoke a cigar and the time or the situation warrants it........I am smoking the cigar.


I have to agree here. It's not like you need your girlfriend permission to smoke. Just be respectful and don't smoke around her if it bothers her. My wife doesn't like the smell of smoke but she would never try and tell me a can't do it. I just don't smoke in the house(I have kids anyway)


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## rwhit37 (Mar 3, 2008)

Lots of good advice on here.

Mine complained that my hobby was to expensive and it was gross and nasty. So I said I'll open another bank account for my cigars and you won't know how much I spend on them and I will just smoke when I am not around you. Big Big Big mistake. She screams you are going to what?
I think to myself OH SHIT! Can of worms I didn't want to open. 
My response: I am going to smoke cigars if I want to. You go get your nails done and shopping and all that. All I do is smoke cigars and play golf every now and then. I don't spend near the amount of money you do on that stuff. She was pissed. I said I am a grown man and I will smoke cigars if I want. I quit smoking cigarette's for you so now I am smoking cigars. Which would you rather. She stomped off all pissy and a few days later she brings me a bag of smokes home and apologizes and what not. Says that if you want to smoke you can smoke. She then tells me that she doesn't mind the smoke just how much I was spending. Wait it gets better we go over to her parents for dinner a few weeks after all this happened and her dad says Hey you want to go get a cigar? Her jaw about hit the floor and I couldn't help but smile at her and walk over to pick her jaw up off the ground. 

It's all about the give and take. Granted we aren't married and if my smoking would have continued to be a problem and I probably would have found a girl that would let me smoke. She is suppose to love you for who you are not who she wants you to be. Good luck brother!


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## squeeze left (Jun 28, 2006)

JordanWexler said:


> Yea, basically my girlfriend absolutely loathes the fact that i smoke cigars . . . just wondering what you say to get them off your back a little bit and get them to be more accepting of the hobby!


Well here is an effective if expensive answer to your problem that worked for me not only with cigars, but with motorcycle, power tools, big tv, and many other things I want but my wife hates or could care less about:

1. Buy your girlfriend something she really wants, or better yet, tell her she should really pick out a nicer <pocketbook> <car> <shoes> <etc.> and buy it for her.

2. Repeat step 1.

3. Buy a box of cigars/motorcycle/tv and light up that stogie!

4. Buy Big bouquet of flowers for girlfriend and tell her she is beautiful (it is important that you smell like a cigar when you do this.)

5. Repeat steps 1-4 as necessary

6. After a few months your girlfriend will associate smell of cigars with good things and maybe will even smoke with you!


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## KASR (Aug 2, 2006)

JordanWexler said:


> Yea, basically my girlfriend absolutely loathes the fact that i smoke cigars, although i find it to be an incredibly soothing and enjoyable hobby.
> Obviously many of you have similar problems -- just wondering what you say to get them off your back a little bit and get them to be more accepting of the hobby!
> Its not like i am blowing smoke in anyone's face or anything. Just some sage advice would be much appreciated


What exactly does she not like about it? Maybe a better understanding of what she hates might help us help you with a solution.


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## OSIRIS (Jul 15, 2007)

Cement Shoes??


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## Queen James (Mar 9, 2008)

You guys are funny.  Your wives/girlfriends can hate anything and everything about cigars if they want to if it's your hobby it's your hobby. You never know, they could come around. Fortunately for me, I'm addicted and like to indulge every now and then with the King. It wasn't always like that and now I'm going to herfs (when invited) and meeting some pretty interesting people. I mean honestly, how many of you guys want to be involved in everything your girls do for fun? Go get your hair done together, shopping for who knows what, maybe even knitting. Okay now I’m being mean…anyway what I’m trying to say is everyone has their niche, sometimes it works on both sides and sometimes it doesn't. Shouldn’t have to change who you are to make her happy, if she doesn’t support what you like then she doesn’t deserve you.


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## Darb85 (Jan 30, 2005)

Queen James said:


> You guys are funny.  Your wives/girlfriends can hate anything and everything about cigars if they want to if it's your hobby it's your hobby. You never know, they could come around. Fortunately for me, I'm addicted and like to indulge every now and then with the King. It wasn't always like that and now I'm going to herfs (when invited) and meeting some pretty interesting people. I mean honestly, how many of you guys want to be involved in everything your girls do for fun? Go get your hair done together, shopping for who knows what, maybe even knitting. Okay now I'm being mean&#8230;anyway what I'm trying to say is everyone has their niche, sometimes it works on both sides and sometimes it doesn't. Shouldn't have to change who you are to make her happy, if she doesn't support what you like then she doesn't deserve you.


you know, if you and james ever break up, you are going to have to beat off half the guys on this board with a stick....

and I agree with her. Good luck man!


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## Marklar MM (Mar 31, 2008)

Luckily for me, my girlfriend loves the smell of cigars, especially humidors. And also luckily for me, she actually likes watching me smoke them, although she would never try one. :w


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## groogs (Oct 13, 2007)

I would have to say show her the door. I don't care how hot she is, you know the old saying, show me a hot chick and I will show you a guy who is tired of Fkn her. If she is not accepting of your hobby she is not the girl for you. If you submit to her you will be unhappy for the rest of your life, because ther will always be something else she doesn't like and wants you to stop doing. I am lucky my fiance is accepting of my hobby. She doesn't know how much I spend on it, but she know it makes me happy and that is all that matters. I say you have to live your own life and find a companion that wants to live and enjoy it with you.:2


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## mash (Jul 24, 2007)

Havanaaddict said:


> *It better you find out now then after you marry her!!!*
> I must be one of the lucky ones I have a smoking lounge in my house and the wife sits in there and watchs movies with me and never says a word:ss And no she is not a smoker herself. I can even finsh smoking a few cigars and we head up stairs to get biz no teath brushing or nothing!!!:r I guess I am a lucky man for or anniversary she bought me some *80's Davidoff Chateau Margeauxs *
> I think I will keep her!!!


Holy crap. You win. Got a fan club yet?


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## lenguamor (Nov 23, 2006)

Jeez...how do I say this?

Think of it this way: if this is now, while you're still only dating - what do you think it might be like when you've been married for years?

Take this for what it's worth, from someone who has been there: women who try to change their men - whether it be his friends, or the way he dresses...or that he smokes cigars - NEVER change.

EVER.

They get WORSE.

Now, remember - I don't know you or her, I'm only responding to a thread in which someone asked for advice...I can only recount my personal experience and let you apply it as it pertains to your situation. /End disclaimer. 

My ex started out as the sweetest, most accommodating woman you could ever want; 17 years later, she was one of Satan's minions, trying to change each and every thing about me, stabbing me with the red-hot pitchfork when I didn't capitulate. Sometimes just for laughs.

Yours is already starting out ahead of that curve. That does not bode well.

That's all I'm saying.

At this point in my life, at an age when, presumably, I can afford even less to be choosy about the ladies, I have a zero tolerance policy with passive-aggressive behavior.

If a woman I meet has _even a hint_ of a problem with the fact that I smoke cigars...or have cats, or watch _Modern Marvels_, or doesn't like the car I drive or the color of the shirt I'm wearing - I read her "The Rules of The Lengua".

And rule number 1 is that she doesn't get to act on any negative opinion she has of _anything_ about me.

At least not until she gets the **** out.


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## kvm (Sep 7, 2005)

Queen James said:


> You guys are funny.  Your wives/girlfriends can hate anything and everything about cigars if they want to if it's your hobby it's your hobby. You never know, they could come around. Fortunately for me, I'm addicted and like to indulge every now and then with the King. It wasn't always like that and now I'm going to herfs (when invited) and meeting some pretty interesting people. I mean honestly, how many of you guys want to be involved in everything your girls do for fun? Go get your hair done together, shopping for who knows what, maybe even knitting. Okay now I'm being mean&#8230;anyway what I'm trying to say is everyone has their niche, sometimes it works on both sides and sometimes it doesn't. Shouldn't have to change who you are to make her happy, if she doesn't support what you like then she doesn't deserve you.


Well said :tu Lucky for me my wife hates to shop.


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## Rudder (Feb 7, 2008)

Get a new girlfriend:tu


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## Boss Hogg (Mar 18, 2008)

Marry one that loves them :tu


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## jamz (Mar 29, 2008)

If she really really likes/loves you, she should let you do things that are important to you and make you happy, so long as those things are not too destructive or unhealthy. If she has health concerns, pull up some literature that explains the facts about cigar tobacco smoke, the relative amounts of tar, nicotine, etc in them, their all natural components, etc. Calm facts will make her rest easy about the health aspects.


My wife has never minded cigars (though she won't let me smoke in the house now) but I smoked in the house when I had my own room to do it in, and she appreciated it if I showered before bed because the after-smell wasn't to pleasant for her.


I went through the same thing with her about guns, which I got into well after we were married. She went from "no guns in the house" to us having a rather large safe full of them, and letting the kids and me shoot in the yard if we want to. (safely). She still doesn't like them at all, but knows I'm safe and knows how important it is to me so she tolerates them. Hopefully yours will do the same with cigars!


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## JordanWexler (Mar 29, 2008)

Honestly, I can't thank you enough guys. I have seen the light! 
It seems to me, from most of your reactions to my plight, that it is not a totally uncommon problem, and that for the most part -- when a chick is just a little temperamental at first, it just tends to get worse and worse. 
But I really do appreciate all the help -- this board has kept getting more and more interesting responses, so I say, keep firing away guys, 
I'm sure there are more out there who were a little too :chk to ask the same question!


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## Mark C (Sep 19, 2007)

I haven't read all the other responses, but here's mine.

I figure so long as you're respectful of her, she shouldn't bitch and moan too much. In other words, don't smoke around her, changes your clothes and brush your teeth before you go to her place, etc. If your hobby doesn't affect her in any way, she's got no say in the matter. After all, she ain't your wife, and even then she ought to find a compromise. 

If you were smoking before you started dating her, she knew what she was getting in to and shouldn't be trying to change you. If you started smoking after you met her, then it's up to her to decide if your hobby is a dealbreaker for her and then you've gotta decide which you like more.

If this isn't a long-term relationship, I'd be wary about a chick trying to change you and your habits. Especially if you had those habits before you had the chick.


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## JordanWexler (Mar 29, 2008)

UPDATE: She likes the smell of cigars now...or rather....she doesn't mind as much. :tu


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## mspringfield (May 27, 2008)

I ran into a somewhat similar issue with a couple of my gf's in the past. First be courteous and don't smoke around her. Get yourself some clothes that you always wear when you smoke and don't wash them with your other clothes. If you are going to see her after you smoke then shower, brush your teeth and gargle with some good smoker's mouthwash before meeting her. It will show her that you understand and are listening to her complaints and are doing something to minimize the effects of smoking

That being said she should respect your hobbies and the things that you enjoy doing. I had to tell mine very bluntly that I was smoking cigars and drinking Scotch when you met me. You knew this and you decided to be with me anyway. Then I decided to go with the guilt trip. I told her that cigars and Scotch are part of my personality and that is what she fell in love with. If I give them up then I am no longer the man she fell for. Damned if it didn't work. LOL

Michael


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## Todd W (Jan 9, 2008)

KenS said:


> Take it slow, and don't make it seem like the stogie is more important than her (unless it is ).
> 
> My wife has gone through these stages so far:
> 
> ...


Although I think our macho side says "There's the door," the above statement is the best you can hope for. If you let her know that she's first, she has to respect your hobby. Especially if you are considerate about the smell. Now as far as the $ aspect with a wife... good luck. Matchin Coach, D&B, etc. pound for pound with all of the purchaes we make is not a road I want to go down anytime soon.


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## mugen910 (May 14, 2008)

My gf has been taught the wonder mantra of "Well at least it ain't drugs or alcoholism" :r


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## jbo (Feb 16, 2007)

Fox...you beat me to it. I was going to say basically the same thing. My wife HATES the fact that I smoke cigars. A couple years ago she told me that if she had known I was going to smoke cigars she would never had married me. (We've been married 29 years as of the 30th of this month). I smiled, told her that I loved her and went on with life.

I think the key is coming to a common ground. I really try to not smoke when she is around. I wait for her to go to bed before I light up for the evening. I found that common courtesy goes a long way.



SilverFox said:


> Makes me want to smoke a cigar :ss
> 
> 
> In all seriousness my wife hates that I smoke cigars, hates the smell, thinks its unhealthy. So I had an honest authentic conversation with her and let her know about my hobby and what it meant to me, that I recognize the health dangers and that I choose as an adult in control of my own life to do it. I also comply with all her wishes with respect to my hobby, don't smoke near her, don't smoke in the house, scrub my teeth and mouthwash after a smoke etc.
> ...


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## pbrennan10 (Apr 9, 2007)

Like OJ!


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## mistabman (May 18, 2008)

I'm lucky enough to have a GF who doesn't fully encourage my smoking, but doesn't give me a hard time either. Last sunday, I fired up a RP vintage 1990 torpedo for myself and a little monte platinum #5 for her and went for a walk. I can get her to smoke with me about one time outta 10.

Though things usually work in my favor since I have a stereo, poker table, and ping pong table out in the garage where I smoke. She can come out with me and at least not be bored!


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## petewho (May 22, 2008)

What SilverFox said. Wise words of wisdom.

I just went through this same thing: http://www.clubstogie.com/vb/showthread.php?t=159379

So now my wife and I have some set rules - no smoking around the kid, not in the house, not right outside the house when all the windows are open, stuff like that. Stuff I'd never do anyway, but saying it out loud to her made all the difference in the world. My wife was also worried about the expense of it, so I set a monthly cap or "allowance" for cigars and other hobby-type items. Doing all these things showed my wife that I will respect her opinions while still enjoying my cigars. It ended up being a win-win.

Also, for what it's worth, it was the Gorillas here that got me to talk to the wife about cigars and got me away from "hiding" it so much.

That, and also what everyone else said about changing clothes, mouthwash, etc. I get treated a lot better if I come home clean :tu


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## JPH (Jun 30, 2006)

70 posts.... I only read the first one...I may have posted here already...lol.. ANYHOW...


See...being single I have the benefit of telling girls...."Cigar smoking is a big part of who I am"... and if they dont like it.. bye bye.... 

I mean whats next...I dont like Hunting, fishing, polo shirts, occupational therapy, brown hair...

Bitch... you dont like me!

I'd tell her...It's a fun hobby just like ______ (insert something she does that she would not want to quit)...

 i dont know


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## ca21455 (Jul 23, 2006)

My wife hates that I smoke cigars. Been married for almost 35 years. Have always smoked a cigar every now and again and she never said much, but in the last several years started collecting and smoking more frequently. That has made her vocalize her dislike of the habit. Other then not liking the smell, she is mostly concerned for my health.

Anyway, I mostly smoke when she is not around and always outside. We have worked around it and everything is ok. Would love nothing better then to have her sit down and smoke one with me but that will never happen so I deal with it.


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## eriksson20 (May 2, 2007)

anyone tried syanide and burying under the back yard lawn?

...


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## tobychu (Apr 1, 2008)

I usually tell her..."don't worry about it"...then give her a good smack in the ass.


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## ibosmiley (Feb 29, 2004)

Luckily my wife smokes cigars too, but she does get a lil miffed when a bit of money is spent on cigars. But as far as the smoking of them goes...she doesnt get too upset at that, since she lights up herself also.


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## bbaug14 (Sep 6, 2007)

When she gets upset about the smoke I just take a deap drag, hold it, blow it in her face, and then tell her to pi$$ off.



Okay, seriously though, she really doesn't have a problem with it. She gets a little irked when I spend the $$$ on them though just because I probably have enough cigars to last me a long time when I only smoke a few a week. You have to have a bunch of each kind though in case you like them. She doesn't get it.....sigh....


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