# The "Help! I'm a noob and I can't get up!" Contest



## CeeGar (Feb 19, 2007)

*Is your noobiness dragging you down? Have no fear...the rooster is here!* :chk

This contest is for the cc noobs (Duh). Give me your best story highlighting the dumbest thing you did when beginning your cigar journey. Doesn't matter what it is....just something that in hindsight was not a good idea.

If I like your noob story the best, you will receive a care package from my personal stash! I may employ some help from some of the other old farts in choosing the best story. Have fun!!

*Noob qualification*- Let's say... 18 months here on Puff, or less. Limited or no experience with the forbidden fruit. Let's not quibble much over the rest. If someone wants to get their panties in a bunch over any of this, I will shut the contest down(I'm trying to make this easy). Contest ends 10/14/14. Winner will be announced in the thread on the next day. Keep it clean and drama free!

*Now.... let's hear some funny chit. I need a good laugh. Don't be shy...c'mon lurkers.

GOOD LUCK!*


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## DrBob (Mar 26, 2014)

Really only started smoking cigars about a year ago, so I guess my biggest noob mistake is waiting so long , but I have had cigars gifted to me on occasion previously or smoked one in celebration with other people. About 4 years ago a former student gave me a pair of Siglos, and I resolved the share these "special" cigars with a friend at an upcoming golf fundraiser (only 5 months away). I securely stowed the cigars in a drawer in my office. I live in a Desert, and RH is generally below 25%... Needless to say neither of us were impressed by the expensive Cubans... :drama:

Not a great story but some low hanging fruit for the better stories to aim at.


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## Heath (Aug 16, 2013)

ok don't know if I qualify or not. I don't wear panties so no worries about it if I don't qualify. so here's my lame story. 

It was a cool fall afternoon in the before time in the long long ago. There was the heavy scent of fall in the air. As I casually strolled into the local b&m my mind was overwhelmingly occupied by the thought of a particular cigar. it was a la gloria Cubana serie r. I had never had one but had looked at them before. these particular cigars were covered in yellow splotchy plume. I just couldn't wait to get my hands on one. I made a b line directly to that box. I painstakingly shuffled through them to get the best most plummed out cigar. once I found the best one I quickly dashed to the sales counter. once there the clerk remarked at my good choice and that I was in for a treat. these particular cigars had arrived with plume and were ready to smoke. I quickly paid and began to cut and toast my new found treasure. As I began to smoke I wondered is this what excellence tastes like. because if it does I must not have what it takes to enjoy such high level cigars. It burned wonky as I preceded through the midpoint. At about the final third my under developed pallette could take no more and out the window it went. 

About a year went by and I wondered what went wrong that fall day. Then there it was on the oh mighty google. I had dreamed about, bought and smoked the moldiest cigar in existence. 

thats right I went there with the sole purpose of buying and smoking that moldy ass cigar the whole time thinking how lucky I was to have found such a treasure. I know better know thanks to puff. I am also comforted in the fact that I am not alone.


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## AuTechCoM (Jan 13, 2014)

Nothing to bad for me just the usual went to fill up my first 20ct humidor at the local B&M bought half pardon and other pricy sticks and half infused sticks. and thought it was cool that the Padron had the same flavor profile as a Kuba Kuba... Or there was the time I spent $46 on a single PSD4 in the Bahamas :frusty:

and then the absolute worst noob mistake i made was my first time on cBid... I was comparing to California prices so I threw out about 40 what I thought to be "Low Ball" bids thinking there was no way I could win all of these i mean Gurkha beasts go for $26/stick I should order as many as I can. then when all was said and done my bill was $600 that i did not have to spend because I figured I would only win about $100 worth of my lots


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## stltimmy1979 (Nov 1, 2013)

Not sure if I qualify either, but my single biggest mistake was having my first shipment sent to my house. Wife discovered the stash, and whenever I do something stupid, its "Im gonna pitch those damn cigars".

Since, I have relocated my tupperdores to my fathers, who also now kindly takes shipment of my precious CCs.


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## CeeGar (Feb 19, 2007)

Great stuff so far! All are lame and sad ound: 

Everyone that has posted thus far is definitely in. Again...don't get too caught up in wondering if you qualify. If you have some noobtacular story to share and not much experience on this side of the forum, go for it!!! Air your dirty laundry. The lamer, the better!


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## pmr1010 (Jul 13, 2013)

Many moons ago when I was beginning to learn about the cigar world and right around this time of year my boss gave me a Montecristo No. 2 for my birthday. Awesome! But one of the first remarks that I made to him was not of thanks but was one of sheer stupid unknowingness.. "I had one of these in Maduro, it was great." Thinking I was possibly a complete moron he just smiled uncomfortably and walked away. I think he was as embarrassed for me as I was for myself.


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## AuTechCoM (Jan 13, 2014)

stltimmy1979 said:


> Not sure if I qualify either, but my single biggest mistake was having my first shipment sent to my house. Wife discovered the stash, and whenever I do something stupid, its "Im gonna pitch those damn cigars".
> 
> Since, I have relocated my tupperdores to my fathers, who also now kindly takes shipment of my precious CCs.


Hey it is nice that someone else has a wife that does the same thing


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## dj1340 (Mar 30, 2009)

I certainly don't qualify but have a funny story. When I started this cigar thing in earnest, I got some things off cbid. Usually 
only used matches and the only lighters I had used were zippo. So I looked for some cool inexpensive lighters to try. Snagged
a couple at a good price so filled them up with butane and decided to try one out. 
Grabbed the stick I wanted, cut it and flipped the top of the lighter up. Started to light the cigar and the longer I took lighting 
it I kept getting this horrible smell. Took the lighter away from the cigar and the damned top was on fire. Seems my new lighter 
case was plastic and it was burning. Threw it on the ground and stepped on it to put out the fire.
Metal lighters for me after that!!


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## magoo6541 (Mar 9, 2014)

I think one of my early experiences is pretty funny and similar to Heath's experience.

When I first started, I assumed that all the cigar companies with cuban names, were simply extensions of Habanos SA that moved out of cuba to US friendly places to set up shop for the US market. Shortly after establishing that I was getting in to cigars, I moved in with my girlfriend 30 miles or so away from where I was. Since I still work where I used to live, I still stopped in at my B&M but wished there was something closer to where I am now. One day, we were headed out to dinner when I spotted a B&M not far from our house. I was in luck... or so I thought.

I pulled a u-turn and pulled into the parking lot. When I walked in, the aroma of American Cedar was... intoxicating, or maybe it was overpowering. Which ever. Anyway, I was in luck as there was plume on everything I saw. I grabbed a cheaper Henry Clay and a couple Cohiba Red Dots that I think were priced around $30 a piece. I felt pretty good on the deal as I was getting a couple cigars that were owned by a cuban company. 

If you've never smoked a $30 "Cuban Company" moldy cigar that's been sitting in an American Cedar humidor for a looooong, time, you're missing out. I smoked 1, educated myself here and a couple other sites, tossed the rest of the cigars I got from there and never went back.

Another good one that I just thought of:

It was around 2001 and I was a young 19 year old kid in the Marine Corps deployed to Darwin Australia. A couple of the guys enjoyed cigars and talked about how we can get some real Cubans in Australia. In hind site, I don't know why they were so excited as we were stationed in Iwakuni Japan and already had access. Anyway, the group of us went out in town and found a tobacco shop. I had no clue about cigars whatsoever. I asked the guy behind the counter what to get and he gave me a couple recommendations although I can't recall for the life of me what anything was. I walked out with a couple cigars and all I can remember is I had a Romeo y Julita and a Montecristo in tubes. 

A couple nights later we were outside playing cards and it was time for me to enjoy my cigars. I used a friends cutter and lit it up. My only exposure to cigars at that point was maybe seeing a cigar smoker in a movie or on television. For some reason, I thought that I should chew on the end of the cigar as I smoked it. As I chewed on the end, my saliva mixed with the tobacco and I may as well have been dipping. My stomach was so upset and I'm sure my face was turning a shade of green. I'll spare you all the rest of the details but I'm sure you can imagine where it led. Being the young hard charger that I was, one cigar wasn't the end of 'ole Ryan! Oh no!!!! I showed that cigar who was boss and then I lit up another. I'm sure by the end of the night my face was the same color as my cammies and I was soooo sick.

I tried cigars a couple times after that but I kept on chewing the heads of the cigars and kept getting sick. It wasn't until last year that I stumbled on properly smoking a cigar and have been enjoying them ever since.

Anyway, it's been a long but rewarding journey. I'll also excuse myself since I'm fortunate enough to have a decent collection so this should go to someone else.

Awesome thread CeeGar.


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## ShaneG (Apr 9, 2014)

My silly noob mistake was twofold- I asked a friend for cigars to celebrate my daughters birth, and he got me a bundle of 'its a girl' unbanded, it's a girl on the cello. I smoked one with him and left them on the shelf wondering why they were getting worse with each one I smoked until I finished them a few weeks later. Since then I have learned about proper storage and care and how to pick a good cigar thanks to all of you. Not a great story but makes me chuckle at how far I have come.


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## Joe Bonzo (Dec 20, 2013)

I'll throw my hat in the ring with a dumb story of a drunk college boy...

I had a pretty good buddy in college, we met in Chinese class and ended up traveling together through China after graduation. He used to be a cigarette smoker and I...well I smoked various organic matters of questionable repute throughout my late teens and early 20s.... A couple times we decided to be big shots and smoke some cigars, which was always a good time, although it mostly involved drinking all night and then just lighting them up for the novelty of it and reefing away...I had no idea about pacing myself for the sake of the flavor. Shame, too, because we dropped a few bucks on some nice Cubans at a few Chinese smoke shops (don't get me started on whether or not they were legit...at the time I wouldn't have even thought there was such a a thing as counterfeits...). 

So the dumbest thing I did was a couple years after our travels. We met up and had a few drinks and I bought a couple cigars at the local B&M for old times sake. After getting fairly tuned up we went out to his backyard to light them up. Can't even remember how we cut them(the entire memory is a bit hazy, to be honest)...might have just done it at the smoke shop or used a good old fashioned pair of scissors. But we lit up and puffed away merrily in the dark, until he glanced over and says "Oh by the way, you're smoking that backwards." Just in time too, because another 5 minutes and I would have smoked the band. 

In all seriousness if he hadn't told me I don't even know if I would have noticed the burning paper flavor :new_all_coholic:

That was probably 4 or 5 years ago. It wasn't until about a year ago I bought some cigars to celebrate my brother's first son and really enjoyed them that I thought to do a little research into the finer arts of smoking a cigar and ended up here. The rest is, as they say, history!


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## SmokinSpider (May 12, 2010)

Well I have been on here for a while but have never had a CC so I will share my lame story, I had to flip a coin because I have two. 

It was a very hot summer day and decided that I would enjoy a cigar on the patio while laying in a lounge chair. After a half hour or so sipping my iced tea and reading a magazine, most likely a gun magazine, I figured it was too hot to wear a shirt. There I was with no shirt enjoying a cigar and reading a magazine, life was good or so I thought. I wasn't paying attention to the rather long ash my cigar had accumulated and while turning the page in the magazine the ash fell, landing on my stomach but not just anywhere, it landed dead center of my belly button. I panicked, jumping straight up trying to get the ash off me that I dropped the cigar on my bare foot and knocked over my tea. Needless to say I learned a lesson about smoking without a shirt or socks, and yes, in case you are wondering the ash off a cigar it pretty damn hot, my belly button was red for a few days after, first degree burn red. My foot faired better but my pride was worse.


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## TonyBrooklyn (Jan 28, 2010)

Great contest Colin nice to see!
And for those of you that don't know already.
Colin is one of the most generous BOTL it has been my pleasure to know!.
So step up give it a try!
Carry on gents!


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## Redwyvern (Aug 6, 2013)

Well, here goes!

My noobiest story begins on vacation in Nassau Bahamas. After having a full 2 months of cigar smoking under my belt I decided to buy a "Cuban Cigar" from the smoke shop in the Atlantis. 

I had no idea of what a CC looked, smelled, or tasted like, but I was told by the knowledgeable, trusty woman behind the counter that they were real, and I believed it. 
So I unleashed $80 for 2 RyJ "Cubans" and went back to the ship with my contraband. :der:

That night in the cigar lounge onboard, I took my trusty Bic lighter and lit up anticipating nirvana. 30 minutes later after finishing said cigar, (yes, 30 minutes) I told myself, and anyone who would listen that it was the best cigar I'd had in my life!(out of the 15 or so I had smoked to this point). I raved to my wife about it, who only looked at me as the fool I truly was, but I didn't care, cause I had another one to smoke the next day (that had been pre-cut for me at the smoke shop). :banghead:

Needless to say, the second "CC" tasted even better than the first because "it had aged more". This is my noobiest mistake besides posting on this board about getting real CCs in Nassau a year later, and asking for advice on what to get from there next time. (Thanks TonyBrooklyn, and others on this forum for berating me into submission, and knowledge :bowdown I have since come to learn that a year and a half later, I have STILL never smoked a Cuban Cigar.

I really hadn't planned on ever sharing my stupidity and shame, but, what the hell, I'll trade a little dignity for a shot at some REAL CCs! ray2:


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## CeeGar (Feb 19, 2007)

TonyBrooklyn said:


> Great contest Colin nice to see!
> And for those of you that don't know already.
> Colin is one of the most generous BOTL it has been my pleasure to know!.
> So step up give it a try!
> Carry on gents!


Tony, I appreciate that very much!!

Bump for the weekend crowd.


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## avitti (Jun 4, 2011)

I remember the first time i smoked a Cuban cigar,which was just over a month ago(ahem) i didn't know a thing about smoking cigars...So i clipped the cap end and then i lit the cap 

end.Seems i've been putting my foot in my mouth for quite sometime now.......................................


Cool contest,from a generous BOTL-------nice,very nice Colin


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## AuTechCoM (Jan 13, 2014)

Redwyvern said:


> Well, here goes!
> 
> My noobiest story begins on vacation in Nassau Bahamas. After having a full 2 months of cigar smoking under my belt I decided to buy a "Cuban Cigar" from the smoke shop in the Atlantis.
> 
> ...


Ah at least I am not the only one who had been ripped off at Atlantis. I feel much better now


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## Cigar-Enthusiast (Feb 2, 2014)

Smoked my first "Cuban" in Mexico, precisely Cozumel. 

One day when on vacation with my ex we took a stroll around the town to see the town. I see a "Cuban" cigar shop and I metaphorically shit my pants. I thought that this was the coolest thing ever. I go inside and I'm greeted by a huge native named NACHO. Guy is like 300 pounds 6'5'', so he's a big boy. He tells my some crap about his stock, which included only the finest RyJ, Montecristo, Cohiba, and Bolivar. After some thinking I buy a Cohiba for 8 dollars and boy was I excited. I take it back to the hotel and smoke it, while reading Dumas’s Three Musketeers, which was phenomenal! I still had some left, so I smoked the remaining bit the next day, while at a local coffee shop. 

Looking back I cannot understand how the hell I smoked it. It had the worst after taste imaginable and I could not get rid of it for the life of me, but the allure of the Cuban cigar made me look-over this “slight defect.” It tasted like tar mixed with dog shit and probably a few used tampons and maybe throw it some old burnt pot roast. 

The next day I see a peddler selling cigars, so I ask him about his stock. Then he shows the infamous glass-top box and tries really hard to get my to sell it, even after I insist I don’t have the cash on me. So I know something is up, so I did a little research and I discovered all the cigars I have been seeing were knockoffs. Boy I felt real stupid. I have never been duped so easily in my life, but at least I didn’t shell out 50 bucks for those turds in the box. Now when I saw other tourists smoking those dog turds I got a good chuckle. 

Then for the rest of my vacation I tried to find some real Cubans, but to no avail until I hit the airport. There the duty free had some Cohiba Siglo II 3 tubo packs, so I bought one for 75 dollars. Smoked one with my friend a few months after and have the other two resting for a special occasion. 

And that’s how I began smoking both Cubans and NC cigars.


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## Damselnotindistress (Aug 7, 2011)

Uhm - you didn't say how many dumb things we've done!! I was gifted my very first Cuban, a Montecristo Especial by some poor guy, and let's just say I was the very definition of, "Never show a caterpillar leaves!" I've learned more finesse nowadays about patience and sensibility! However, the other folks and proprietors who made their stash known to me at that time, not only did I clean them out, I couldn't chase them off with my constant appearance...at least I don't THINK so! Also, when I was full well into acquiring a ready, steady supplier I still regret to this very day dishing out $800 for two boxes of "WellMaybeBanas" that I even had minor doubts about - but I was incapable of saying, "No" to all but the most obvious El Falsos out there. I had to learn that every cigar band out there with "Habana" on the bottom was not an indicator of authenticity. I've since learned to verify my vendors by reputation these days. Dumb, dumb things this Havanaphile has done--? Even when the vendors gave certain clues that what they had might not be authentic, as I had FINALLY made my way into the "okay, we'll trust you" world of Habana vendors, I just couldn't turn them down. But I have no regrets about living and learning. You'll recover money again through the years. As a noob you're entitled to be allowed some slip ups and mistakes. To date, I really can't say I've had too bad a money-loss experience with the online vendors. Those I do examine and research very heavily.


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## baust55 (Sep 8, 2013)

I have done many stupid things ........yrs ago I was an occasional cigar smoker and new very little about them . 
My neighbor was deployed to Kuwait , before he left I asked him if he would buy me some Cuban cigars at the British commissary on base as I had head they sold them . He said sure thing and refused my money . Several months later his wife called me and said he sent a package . My CUBANS ! IT was a small box with 5 small cigars . no brand I had ever herd of .the box did say Habano and it had a tax stamp that said Cuba . I got one out and tried to smoke it ....................ack ack The Cigar was dry as the desert it had come from . My buddy just wrapped the box in a blanket he was shipping back home for his wife . so it had ben packed in a steel cargo container and stacked in the sun roasting at 120f for who knows how long then on the slow boat to America . I knew I had to save these precious Cubans !I had no humidor and no knowledge to know they were probably ruined .
After attempting to smoke the first awful dried out cigar I decided they needed to be moistened . so I took the cellos of the last 4 cigars and put them in a plastic sandwich bag with some Apple slices . rolled the bag up and stuck it in the fridge for a cpl weeks . Now I was ready to try the awesome forbidden Cubans again . I got one out of my bag of Apple slices from the fridge and lit it up Mmmmmm... eeerrrr No Ack ! Ack ! still awful ha . But I was determined over the next cpl weeks I smoked them all ...............ALL Horrible !
DOH !
Austin


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## TreySC (May 30, 2014)

When I was around 23-24 we had a vendor in Miami who was originally from Cuba. We got to talking one day about BBQ I tell him he's got to try some SC style mustard based sauce and told him I send him some. He said in return he would send me some cuban cigars. HE said something about she could get them because he still had family there I forget the specifics. I send him the sauce and a few days later get a package with a couple RyJ tubos. At this point in my life the only cigars I had ever dealt with were the philly's and swishers we would "re-purpose" and the occasional black & mild. I took the cigars to my brothers house, go out on the porch I think cut them with scissors light up with a bic. Both of us clueless I'm sure we inhaled and smoked way to fast. Not even half way through neither of us feeling very good we decided cigars weren't for us and snuffed them out. Still don't know if they were legit or not, I'm just glad I didn't let the experience keep me from ever trying a cigar again.


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## CeeGar (Feb 19, 2007)

This contest turns into a pumpkin at midnight, EST! So post up your last minute confessions. :couch2:


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## momo439 (Nov 8, 2013)

Ah what the heck! This was intro to Puff:

Good day all,

For as long as I can remember, the smell of cigars emanating from my Dad always brought happiness. He was a smoker of Old Ports but also once in a while, he would pull something much bigger from an aluminum tube. He and my uncle would really enjoy those on a hot Montreal summer day. I remember seeing a sense of complete relaxation and satisfaction on their faces. 

Years latter, my Military Engineer unit was having a function and we all decided to get a cigar. At the tobacconist, I saw the familiar silver tube with the blue markings, a Cuban Punch. I picked the stick out of the box and casually asked the tenant if it was a good one. Realising my ignorance, he quickly gave me a cigar 101 lesson and at the end, in some kind of premonition I guess, he said "don't give up, if this one doesn't do, we'll find it for you". That same night, way too drunk, I pulled the cigar out and inhaled the rich aroma. I carefully inspected the cigar and following the instructions I received, I lit it with the cedar matches he gave me, making sure the sulfur was completely burned. I pulled a nice long puff and... OMG!!! It was like I was chewing on cedar shavings!!! The stogie was way too strong for me. I finished it by pride (and because it was $18... did I mentioned I'm Canadian...). I never touched cigars again and went to pipe smoking. How could my Dad and uncle get such satisfaction?

A year ago, my best friend who is passionate about the Dominican Republic, gave me a Cohiba Red Dot. Reluctantly, I took it and to my great surprise, I could taste cream, a slight caramel and a not so overpowering pepper. It then came back to me; the comment from the tobacconist and since then, I'm hooked!


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## Aithos (Jul 13, 2014)

Whew, I got access to the area with one day remaining on the contest! Just squeaking in here so I need to go back and read some once I get my entry in. 

Here's mine:

I've smoked cigars here and there over the years, mostly just grabbing a random cigar from the local Hyvee Wine & Spirits (local grocery chain in the Midwest) where they have a cabinet humidor of questionable functionality. I would usually only grab one for New Years or if someone had a baby, I never bothered to research the brands or types of wrappers or knew anything about how they should smoke let alone taste. I don't think I ever sat down to smoke one, never knew how to cut or light them and know that I must have hacked the ends off mercilessly. I don't think I ever finished or enjoyed one, honestly I'm amazed I even knew not to inhale. So now that we've got the set-up (even though this is all bad enough to qualify on its own) here is where it gets worse...

I've been dating my GF for a little over 2.5 years and I found out pretty early on that her Dad is a frequent cigar smoker and enthusiast. I looked up how to cut and light a cigar prior to ever having an opportunity to smoke one with him (thankfully), and when he invited me to golf at their country club for the first time playing a full round (not a group 9 hole best ball event) I wanted to bring a cigar of my own to impress him. I went online (long before joining here) and asked Google what some good cigar brands are since that's my go to resource for virtually everything.

Google did me a solid and told me that Padron cigars are great, in particular it seemed reviews really liked the 1964 anniversary sticks. I also heard a lot about Romeo y Julieta and Arturo Fuente so I stuck those names in my back pocket and ventured to my local B&M. I must have been deer in headlights when I walked into their giant walk-in humidor because the guy there was giving me all kinds of information I didn't know what to do with. The AF and RyJ section was really confusing since I knew nothing about the lines or the cigars so I latched onto the Padron like a lifeboat. I was like: for $23 this must be a good cigar, no way I can go wrong with this.

So I bought it and a cheap cutter and went on my way. Now, keep in mind that at this point I'm still virtually zero knowledge about the hobby. I've bought this cigar like a week to a week and a half in advance and I have no idea how humidity affects cigars so didn't even consider getting a water pillow or a boveda (I didn't even know what those were) and I certainly didn't have a humidor. So this poor 1964 anniversary Padron sat on my coffee table (in a plastic bag from the B&M at least) and slowly screamed itself to death while it waited to be smoked. 

The day for my golf outing came and it was a gorgeous day, here I was all ready to impress her Dad with my cigar "knowledge" by pulling out a nice cigar for our round of golf and I hadn't even considered whether the cigar was well suited for a golf outing. I'm sure most of you have been cringing for a while, because clearly a Padron 1964 is not the sort of cigar you take to a golf course where it's going to be hot and muggy (it's summer in Iowa) and you're going to be inattentive to smoking it and setting it down on the ground more or less every time you take a puff.

I managed to cut and light the cigar without destroying the wrapper but this poor cigar was in for hell. It was definitely on the dry side and the shock of going from cool and dry to hot and muggy must have wreaked havoc on this premium. The poor cigar went out at least 3 times, it wasn't burning evenly and the wrapper was completely fubar. I have a better idea now how much of a noob I must have looked like, particularly given what I paid for it and more importantly I know not to play poker with my GF's Dad because his poker face is stellar....he let me go on happily ruining a great cigar that should never have been on the golf course without even a hint of ruining my afternoon...


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## Cigar-Enthusiast (Feb 2, 2014)

Wait up I just read this doesn't have to be CC related, so I'm gonna dig up another hilarious story here on Puff.

Here it is! If this doesn't make you laugh about a noob, then I don't know what will...:bowl:
http://www.cigarforums.net/forums/vb/general-pipe-forum/332657-puked.html

I've come a long ways since then!!! At least I hope...:dude:


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## CeeGar (Feb 19, 2007)

Alrighty, folks. The public shaming is over. I appreciate every post in this thread and really enjoyed reading all of them. I will be reading back over all of them and making a final decision that will be posted (now) this evening. Thank you all for participating!


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## ShaneG (Apr 9, 2014)

Thanks again for the contest, you really brought out some great stories and silly noob mistakes


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## CeeGar (Feb 19, 2007)

I laughed, I cried....but mostly I got queasy. uke:

Everyone please step up and congratulate @Heath for his nauseating tale of woe! Heath, I must say that I truly fear for your well-being and I hope I can get your winnings to you before you expire! ound:ound:ound:

I commend you for being brave enough to admit your noobish ways. I also commend your constitution, lol.

A special thank you to an esteemed judging panel: @Tobias Lutz, @Herf N Turf, @Rock31 Thank you gentlemen for helping with the decision.

Heath, if you would pm your address to me, I will get your prize on the way!


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## Herf N Turf (Dec 31, 2008)

Heath said:


> ok don't know if I qualify or not. I don't wear panties so no worries about it if I don't qualify. so here's my lame story.
> 
> It was a cool fall afternoon in the before time in the long long ago. There was the heavy scent of fall in the air. As I casually strolled into the local b&m my mind was overwhelmingly occupied by the thought of a particular cigar. it was a la gloria Cubana serie r. I had never had one but had looked at them before. these particular cigars were covered in yellow splotchy plume. I just couldn't wait to get my hands on one. I made a b line directly to that box. I painstakingly shuffled through them to get the best most plummed out cigar. once I found the best one I quickly dashed to the sales counter. once there the clerk remarked at my good choice and that I was in for a treat. these particular cigars had arrived with plume and were ready to smoke. I quickly paid and began to cut and toast my new found treasure. As I began to smoke I wondered is this what excellence tastes like. because if it does I must not have what it takes to enjoy such high level cigars. It burned wonky as I preceded through the midpoint. At about the final third my under developed pallette could take no more and out the window it went.
> 
> ...





CeeGar said:


> I laughed, I cried....but mostly I got queasy. uke:
> 
> Everyone please step up and congratulate @Heath for his nauseating tale of woe! Heath, I must say that I truly fear for your well-being and I hope I can get your winnings to you before you expire! ound:ound:ound:
> 
> ...


Congratulations, HEATH!!! :clap2::clap2::clap2::first::clap2::clap2::clap2:

I don't know about the other swine who helped judge this, but it was a REALLY hard decision for me.

Then again, snapping the chin strap on my helmet is hard for me... :twitch:


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## Cigar-Enthusiast (Feb 2, 2014)

Congratulations, Heath, on being Puff's biggest noob! A better brother could not have won! 
May you be compensated for your sins and enjoy the bounty!


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## SmokinSpider (May 12, 2010)

WOOOOO! Congrats Heath. Your story made me cringe a bit lol


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## Joe Bonzo (Dec 20, 2013)

Thanks for the fun contest Colin!


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## gtechva (Mar 9, 2014)

Congratulations Heath


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## Aithos (Jul 13, 2014)

Congrats Heath!! I don't envy you the experience, but I'm definitely envious of the prize package you're sure to get! A big thanks to @CeeGar for running the contest, was my first one in this section and it was fun putting together the story and reading everyone elses


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## Redwyvern (Aug 6, 2013)

Way to go Heath! May your cheeks be filled with heavenly goodness!


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## fiddlegrin (Feb 8, 2009)

Fun Stuff!!

Thanks for participating Ya'll!


Big thanks to Colin for hosting this bash! :clap2:


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## Heath (Aug 16, 2013)

holy cow!!! I am blown away. thank you Colin. these baby's will be cared for and cherished. thank you judges and everyone. all I can say is wow I'm at a loose for word's from this generosity. thanks unreal
1998 partagas 898
2012 ramon allones supperiores
2010 cohiba robusto
2012 h u el
carlos fernandez custom petite piramide


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## CeeGar (Feb 19, 2007)

Glad they made it you, Heath. I hope they all treat you nicely!
Congratulations, again.


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## Cigar-Enthusiast (Feb 2, 2014)

CeeGar said:


> Glad they made it you, Heath. I hope they all treat you nicely!
> Congratulations, again.


Can't bump you, but you are a first class gentleman! Awesome package. @Heath hope you enjoy those delicious sticks!


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