# Breaking News- Club Stogie about the be flattened for Christmas



## Dan Anchorman (Nov 10, 2005)

Good evening, this is Dan Anchorman:

CIA and NORAD have just released two photographs showing a large build up of Santa Clauses and Snowmen. They believe them to be trojan horses full of explosives and infantry.


We suggest to beware any unknown packages, and do not accept them. As of right now, they confirm 13 of these to be enroute to gorillas. 

If the story is true, this will be the biggest holiday massacre the jungle has ever been witness to.

More news as it breaks.

Be safe, be careful, and beware!

This is Dan Anchorman


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## DonWeb (Jul 3, 2005)

ordnance-bearin' santa's.... gotta love it!!


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## mr.c (Apr 8, 2004)

Good night and good luck!

Why Im I the last to know about these things ?


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## RPB67 (Mar 26, 2005)

13 Packages. 

Thats a dam Hurricane. OMG !!!!

Pandamonium at Club Stogie soon.


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## bruceolee (Jun 26, 2005)

13? That's just nuts! This should be very fun to watch though.


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## altbier (Feb 20, 2005)

And burt the Turtle says Duck and Cover!


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## floydp (Jun 6, 2004)

Are you Ron Burgundy in cognito? Anywho thats some serious carnage heading out over the holidays... WHew lock up your children and women folk...


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## leicoolya (Sep 7, 2005)

Holy Snikey 13 bombs, Good luck :w


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## dayplanner (Dec 11, 1997)

Anybody else smell an alias???

3 posts, joined in November, 13 bombs in route? How do you get that many addies in 3 posts?

I think we better not underestimate the sneakiness (in my best John Turturro in "Mr Deeds" voice)


:z

BTW.. interesting pic






.


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## Moglman-cl (May 27, 2005)

Wow! The jungle is under imminent threat from St. Nick and Frosty. Head to shelters immediately!


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## joed (Nov 12, 2005)

what a lucky number - that's way cool


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## backwoods (Sep 15, 2005)

:r Wow a few people are gonna get a hurtin put on them.


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## illuminatus (Oct 20, 2005)

*ducks, covers, and waits for the carnage to begin*


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## LasciviousXXX (Oct 12, 2004)

mr.c said:


> Why am I the last to know about these things


Yeah seriously... me too! I wanted to be in on the strike :tg

XXX


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## ATLHARP (May 3, 2005)

I hope some people have some duct tape and spare mailboxes ready! Let the carnage begin!

ATL


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## Scott1966 (Jan 20, 2004)

Better get into those bomb shelters!


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## icehog3 (Feb 20, 2005)

Lucy...you got some 'splainin' to do!! :r 

Looking forward to hearing about the devasation!


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## ShawnP (Oct 18, 2005)

This ought to be a good one. Can't wait to see the devastation :w


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## Dan Anchorman (Nov 10, 2005)

Good evening this is Dan Anchorman. The Gorilla Intelligence Agency has just released two photograps and have moved the jungle into a code red status.



The GIA has been desperatley trying to figure out how the 13 bombs were to be delivered, an agent had captured these two photographs


It appears a mailman hurt his back loading the boxes.
Due to a delay in deliver of intelligence, the boxes made it into the postalk system and cannot be located.

We warn all gorillas to lay low and do not accept any unknown boxes

More news as it breaks

This has been Dan Anchorman


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## ShawnP (Oct 18, 2005)

LOL that is classic. Good job with the pictures man that really make this thread great.

I can't stop laughing....

Way to go


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## galaga (Sep 18, 2003)

:r Somebody around here knows how to have fun! :r


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## cameroncouch02 (Sep 22, 2005)

Those pictures are truly classic. My post woman would kill me if I did that to her. She already hates knocking on my door.


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## backwoods (Sep 15, 2005)

:r i gotta hand it to ya.....you know how to have fun with people


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## colgate (Jan 18, 2005)

LOL at the postman. Well played Dan A.


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## FunkyPorcini (Jan 13, 2005)

That's RAD. Those boxes are HUGE!! 

and...subscribed.


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## ToddziLLa (Oct 17, 2005)

Nice pics!


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## illuminatus (Oct 20, 2005)

Holy Crap! That's amazing! Poor mailman! Looked like he was enjoying it at least


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## RPB67 (Mar 26, 2005)

That poor mailman.

Those are some awesome pics to go along with this thread. Great job.


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## leicoolya (Sep 7, 2005)

Yea those are some big old boxes!!!! Nice pics :w


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## dadof3illinois (Nov 7, 2004)

I have to say that this is one of the best ideas I've seen around here in awhile. Very nice touch getting the mailman to play along. Looks like some are going to have a nice Christmas.

Congrats on a great idea....who every you are!!!!!!!


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## JezterVA (Sep 8, 2005)

Classic!! The Mailman picture is a riot. :r


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## LT Rich (Sep 7, 2005)

Too funny, nice work Dan A!

LT


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## Neuromancer (Sep 7, 2005)

This is great...guess it could be considered a cluster-bombing...


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## opus (Jun 21, 2005)

Very nice job you mad bomber. Some gorillas are going to get their hair singed for sure.


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## cameroncouch02 (Sep 22, 2005)

Im so eager to see how the bombee's are


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## horrorview (Jan 27, 2005)

How the hell did you even get your mailman to pose!! I can't even get mine to DELIVER MY FRIKKEN' MAIL!! :r 

Very nice gesture, and extremely well executed!


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## NCRadioMan (Feb 28, 2005)

JezterVA said:


> Classic!! The Mailman picture is a riot. :r


Sooooo true! [email protected] A! :r

:ms NCRM


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## Dan Anchorman (Nov 10, 2005)

Good evening, this is Dan Anchorman.
Today was a quiet day in Club Stogie, no bombs reported of any kind.

The Gorilla Intelligence Agency has reported that a billboard company has been hired to post 13 new billboards throughout the jungle. They read "Who's Your Daddy" and "OWN3D"



We are trying to figure out what own3d means, it appears to be some sort of computer code word used by savy computer kids. No word on who paid for the billboards.

More news as it happens. This is Dan Anchorman.


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## illuminatus (Oct 20, 2005)

LMFAO.. just when I thought it couldn't get any better! You gorillas crack me up!


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## knuckles (Mar 24, 2005)

Well Dan, this is field correspondent knuckles reporting from East-Central Florida where it appears the first devastation has been confirmed. At approximately 4:42 p.m. eastern time a package arrived at a residence in Melbourne, Florida. Investigators have established that the contents of the package resemble those found in earlier photographs listed in a thread on a popular cigar web site known as Club Stogie. The county of Brevard was briefly put on high alert, but that alert has since been allowed to expire.

Fortunately, this single photograph was captured only seconds before the contents was obliterated:



I fear similar reports will trickle in as time goes by.

This has been field correspondent knuckles reporting from Melbourne, Florida.


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## Dan Anchorman (Nov 10, 2005)

Good evening, this is Dan Anchorman:
The fears of the GIA have been confirmed, a number of bombs took out many gorillas in Florida today: Ron1yy, Knuckles, MiamiE, Opusxox, and Nely. All bombs centered on Florida. 

Beware of any Santas and Snowmen. Their delivery is lethal. The GIA is still trying to track down 8 more bombs. Stay alert, stay safe!

This has been Dan Anchorman


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## Ms. Floydp (Jan 7, 2005)

ahhhhhhhhhh.. so now we know who Dan is.. WTG Mr. Anchorman! Congrats to all 13 of you lucky bastages out there!!


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## bruceolee (Jun 26, 2005)

This should help the Fla brothers in this time of great stress.


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## Neuromancer (Sep 7, 2005)

But what's the small bottle, Mr. Anchorman?


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## Dan Anchorman (Nov 10, 2005)

Neuromancer said:


> But what's the small bottle, Mr. Anchorman?


There are conflicting reports on whats i s in the little bottle. Drink me, was my favorite.

The mad bomber is now running around quoting Patton, this does not look good for the jungle.


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