# F^@!ng Customs!



## cigartexan

Don't you just hate when you get a package that feels rather light


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## dayplanner

So how much did that piece of paper end up costing you?


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## poker

Sorry to hear that bro. :c 
It happens to the best of us


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## SilvrBck

*Oh no...*

That F'n sucks man. Sorry to hear 'bout that. :fu big brother.
SB


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## robmcd

sorry to see this jack


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## dayplanner

Sorry Jack, hope this doesn't start a trend.


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## Guest

*That sucks .....*

I hope it was only cigarillos ...


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## emgjet

OUCH! that does suck big time...sorry to hear about that. Good luck!


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## ESP

..."have been seized and removed for appropriate action"...

That must realy hurt, at least on this side of the pond they usually knock on the door with the goods in hand, and ask for a few hundred pounds! otherwise they take them for "appropriate action",, 
in any event, it sucks!


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## Bman

Jack I guess as long as you have been on the slope this isn't the first time this has happened. I got 400 cirgarillo's taken about 5 months ago. They sent a letter asking if I wanted to claim the items, I sent it back and declined to claim the goods, I told them I didn't know sh^t about any cuban cigars and haven't heard anything since. Like for everyone I hope all you lose is the package. If they press for a fine we all know that will make our favorite pastime more of a risk. Hopefully your package landed in the hand of a smoker or someone looking to sell your smokes for a buck instead of someone trying to make a name for theirselves by beating up cirgar lover, I guess it's harded to catch real criminals. By the way I still have my eyes on those Davidoffs. Bman


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## cigartexan

Thanks all for the kind words concerning my loss 

Bman- This is surely not my first siezure, But it's the first to be sent to me in such a way. before it has always been that the vendor informs me or I see the tracking stop. This will, if they do act, will be my first letter. Why I have not gotten one in the past I couldn't tell you. Probably working up a case file on my ass


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## poker

Jack, I can send you a few of my letters if you want LOL


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## Mayor

Hey Jack, I'm in pharmacy school now. I can suggest something for seizures if you need some help..:r  

J


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## DaveC

that stinks majorly!!!

hopefully the vendor has a replacement policy....

"appropriate action" is a relative term, to me that means smoking them


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## tbateman

Sorry to hear it Jack and what DaveC said.


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## D-Love

*seizures do suck*

Thankfully, I live on the other side of the pond, and the customs agents slaver more at the thought of taking a big chunk of dough out of you for the tobacco taxes and slaes tax (25% in this socialistic hellhole) than anything else. 
That beign said, I have packages shipped regularly from HK, and the last ones came with green tape on the side "Inspected by customs". I guess they didn't buy the description of it being a desk pen set and china tea set. I always get a laugh out of what my vendor writes as the contents. However, the cigars were untouched, and no fines were levied, and I'm not about to ask why. Joy.
However, I was just wondering, how many of you folks ship to different addresses? Personally, after this shipment, I'm going covert, and wont ship to my own address for any shipments outside of the European Union. It's a tax thing more than anything else, and if the packages are inter-Union, then there is no problem, as you're allowed 200 sticks a year without extra duty.


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## OnePyroTec

dang Jack, I hope that was just and "average" box they snaked from ya.

OPT


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## Lamar

Jack

Hate to see it happen to such a great guy.


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## MoTheMan

Oh man. That sucks!

Been nabbed 4 times myself, one of them in person by customs at the airport. Can't wait for the day they come to cart me off to jail.

Let's ask Master Poker if he has any idea what the US Customs does once the contraband has been seized and forfeited. Do they shred it & incinerate it like they claim? Do they smoke any of them (and come to the dark side)?


MoTheMan


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## filly

Jack, sorry to hear the bad news. Knocking on wood, I haven't yet but I have had some boxes mysteriously disappear and the vendor swore they sent them both times. I discontinued using both of them after these episodes....


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## DUFFER

Frame it but if they come knocking you better take it off the wall. You'll be in deep shit if they think you're proud of it.


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## seagarsmoker

Sorry to read this Jack. I know it won't make you feel any better, but as poker said - it happens to the best of us.


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## dayplanner

All I can say is...

Awwwwwww Sheeeeeeeeyat! :c


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## drill

poker said:


> *Jack, I can send you a few of my letters if you want LOL *


 it sucks, but its a fact , and its gonna happen .

jack i can also spare a few(dozen/gross) letters ifn you need some.

k


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## ilikecigars

:sb 

those filthy fargon iceholes.....
i got the little love note in my empty box on my first seizure, then a fargon letter saying they would if i didnt respond dispose of them, yeah right i bet those fargon iceholes disposed of them one at a time....blow me mr. customs man! the cocaine just got through along with the weed.....duh!!!

i feel your pain jack.....:al


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## Nooner

I am bumping this because I found this thread while searching a different subject - some sage advice from some of the 'real' FOGs.

In addition to the recent advice from our active FOGs I thought this thread may serve well to reiterate the risks inherent in purchasing contraband goods.


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## Thurm15

Nooner said:


> I am bumping this because I found this thread while searching a different subject - some sage advice from some of the 'real' FOGs.
> 
> In addition to the recent advice from our active FOGs I thought this thread may serve well to reiterate the risks inherent in purchasing contraband goods.


Thanks for jinxing everybody Nooner. :r


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## croatan

Thurm15 said:


> Thanks for jinxing everybody Nooner. :r


 :r I was thinking the same thing :r

That's why I don't smoke of any them (contra)banded cigars.


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## Andyman

you scared the $#!7 out of me... Just when I was getting up the courage to buy my first box..


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## DiSiLLuZioN

:tpd: Exactly. Same here.


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## SeanGAR

I had one box arrive with the green tape. 

"Ah SHIT" I thought ... but inside was the cab I had ordered intact, completely intact. It wasn't disguised at all.

I guess the customs herf didn't need shorts that week.


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## DrStrangelove

SeanGAR said:


> I had one box arrive with the green tape.
> 
> "Ah SHIT" I thought ... but inside was the cab I had ordered intact, completely intact. It wasn't disguised at all.
> 
> I guess the customs herf didn't need shorts that week.


:r Thats hilarious.


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## SeanGAR

DrStrangelove said:


> :r Thats hilarious.


It gets better. The retailer was having problems with some bozo in the local post office mark CIGARS in red pen over the customs declaration which had something else on it, and LIAR written on the customs declaration as well.

The cabinet had LIAR CIGARS marked on two sides. I don't know if that was Customs or the local PO that wrote that ... I'm thinking US Customs else the PO guy at the other end broke the law by opening it.

In any case, I thanked St. Stogius that day.


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## Neuromancer

Well, at least I know now why I can't see the .jpg in the post...thought something was wrong until I read the "bump" post and realized that the beginnning of this was 2 years old...and, thanks for scaring the hell out of me as I was planning on making a purchase of this type of material after the beginning of the year...which I will probably still do...


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## Xmodius

I didn't look at the date stamp on the initial post, and I was thinking, 'WOW this thread brought out a bunch of REAL FOGs.' Well, it did bring out the FOGs. But, then I looked at the dates.......

Great bump.

And, I hope you didn't JINX anyone, NOONER! :r


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## Blueface

Here is a real F*)&&^ng laugh.
This weekend, I will be at a party and most likely will again get to do my annual herf with a bunch of customs and DEA agents.
Guess what they were smoking last year?


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## thomcad

It seems like they can fine you some big money if they want. My old lady just threw a fit when she opened our credit card statement, I can't imagine what she would say about a little letter threatening a fine roughly the size of our mortgage. "But they taste so good" didn't work for the cigar charges on the MC, and it sure wouldn't work for a six figure legal bill/fine! 

And aren't you guys worried that they are reading this stuff right now? I mean with all the Patriot act and Spectre technology they have right now, seems it wouldn't be hard to compile quite a file on some cigar smoker somewhere. Oh darn, I just redflagged myself. Ummm, good thing I buy all my smokes at the Mini-Mart, yeah the Mini-Mart!


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## cls515

what is spectre technology?


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## thomcad

I might have a beer ruined memory, but I think it is the email scanning and personal liberty robbing tech stuff that was argued about when the Patriot act was being passed. Hope I didn't confuse the real thing with something from a james bond novel.


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## Da Klugs

2 weeks ago. Some of the more expensive singles I have ever bought from a vendor. Saw the tape .. thought oh shoot. Opened and resealed fairly well... must be a lover of the leaf and a decent human being.


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## Xmodius

I think we talk about it too much, but then again if they read this they (feel as if they) are in control. And, they can direct their attention to more important matters, like.......TERRORISM.

A few people getting Cubans which are 'bad' because of a 1962(?) executive order are NO threat to ANYTHING.


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## Blueface

thomcad said:


> Ummm, good thing I buy all my smokes at the Mini-Mart, yeah the Mini-Mart!


I don't buy my stuff there but to clarify what you state about them possibly reading our stuff, let me clarify:

My stuff is all FAKES and I live in Canada! I would never violate any laws of our fine country. Please don't look into me or my humidor. Please bother some of the other BOTLs who have the REAL stuff. I wouldn't know the REAL stuff if it stood in front of me and told me it is the REAL stuff. Why would I want to buy cigars from some bearded old man on a revolution mission? Never, never I tell you. You hear me? Never. Blueface is not into that stuff darn it

Hope this clarifies it all for when they decide to talk to BLUEFACE.
Anyone else want to clarify this for customs now? Come clean now and spare yourself a letter.


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## Xmodius

Blueface said:


> I don't buy my stuff there but to clarify what you state about them possibly reading our stuff, let me clarify:
> 
> My stuff is all FAKES and I live in Canada! I would never violate any laws of our fine country. Please don't look into me or my humidor. Please bother some of the other BOTLs who have the REAL stuff. I wouldn't know the REAL stuff if it stood in front of me and told me it is the REAL stuff. Why would I want to buy cigars from some bearded old man on a revolution mission?
> 
> Hope this clarifies it all for when they decide to talk to BLUEFACE.
> Anyone else want to clarify this for customs now? Come clean now and spare yourself a letter.


Hey Brother! I'm with you. So far all I got is FAKES too! Yum yum yum. :r


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## bruceolee

Blueface said:


> My stuff is all FAKES and I live in Canada! I would never violate any laws of our fine country. Please don't look into me or my humidor. Please bother some of the other BOTLs who have the REAL stuff. I wouldn't know the REAL stuff if it stood in front of me and told me it is the REAL stuff. Why would I want to buy cigars from some bearded old man on a revolution mission? Never, never I tell you. You hear me? Never. Blueface is not into that stuff darn it


Those were some great Canadian fakes you brought to the herf last month.


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## jaxf250

Castro's almost ready to push up daisies... give it a couple more years and it will all be legal again....

My cantankerous opinion, of course... ;-)


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## Puffy69

I got a 10 page letter..They could have at least sent the fake empty box..


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## cvm4

SeanGAR said:


> It gets better. The retailer was having problems with some bozo in the local post office mark CIGARS in red pen over the customs declaration which had something else on it, and LIAR written on the customs declaration as well.
> 
> The cabinet had LIAR CIGARS marked on two sides. I don't know if that was Customs or the local PO that wrote that ... I'm thinking US Customs else the PO guy at the other end broke the law by opening it.
> 
> In any case, I thanked St. Stogius that day.


Actually, it was the customs on the shipping end that would open the boxes and write all over them. He found out their main shipping point and would call the post office master to inspect all the boxes shipped from said person and then mark with a red marker all over the box. I called him the Red Sharpie Bandit and because of him, I had a cab of SS#2 seized! :c


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## Mikes

cigartexan said:


> Don't you just hate when you get a package that feels rather light


L-A-M-E Jack. I hope that it wasn't that box that you have been waiting on for awhile now.

Mike


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## cigarflip

cvm4 said:


> Actually, it was the customs on the shipping end that would open the boxes and write all over them. He found out their main shipping point and would call the post office master to inspect all the boxes shipped from said person and then mark with a red marker all over the box. I called him the Red Sharpie Bandit and because of him, I had a cab of SS#2 seized! :c


I agree. contacted the vendor about the CIGAR that was etched on the outside of the box. He says it's from their end and I shuldn't worry about it. Haven't had any seized from him though.


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## mosesbotbol

My old roommate in college use to bring me back ISOM's from Colombia. My Partagas 898's, Customs cut one cigar open and let the box through. Another time, he handed me a reciept from Customs saying they took cigars. I still had to pay him for $200.00 for HyM Epicures.... I'd rather see them shredded than some SOB smoking my cigars.


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## dayplanner

Xmodius said:


> Hey Brother! I'm with you. So far all I got is FAKES too! Yum yum yum. :r


Freaking hilarious.... :r

Oh wait............

It's true :al


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## dayplanner

Mikes said:


> L-A-M-E Jack. I hope that it wasn't that box that you have been waiting on for awhile now.
> 
> Mike


Well Mike..... yes, it has been a *long while NOW*


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## Blueface

bruceolee said:


> Those were some great Canadian fakes you brought to the herf last month.


I don't know you. I have no idea what you are talking about. You must have me confused for someone else. Customs please note, this is clearly a case of mistaken ID.


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## bruceolee

Blueface said:


> I don't know you. I have no idea what you are talking about. You must have me confused for someone else. Customs please note, this is clearly a case of mistaken ID.


*Message to customs: He has a son. More info to come until he releases all his Canadian fakes to me.*


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## Blueface

bruceolee said:


> *Message to customs: He has a son. More info to come until he releases all his Canadian fakes to me.*


I disowned my kids a long time ago. You see! You obviously have the wrong guy.


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## bruceolee

Blueface said:


> I disowned my kids a long time ago. You see! You obviously have the wrong guy.


*Exhibit A:*Here

*Exhibit B:*Here Proof of son (on the right)

*More to come*


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## motortown

Topical thread, boys. I've been waiting a couple of weeks for four boxes of GENERIC, UNBANDED stogies, which were apparently delayed by Customs. Well, they arrived today, minus a few sticks. Two of the boxes were not opened. But somebody did a number on the other two, ripping the lids from their frames and stealing a couple from each box. I got the Customs tape job & red Sharpie. No letter, though. I mean, afterall, they were just poor, innocent ol' GENERIC sticks. The vendor is a stand-up guy though, which is very cool. Guess I popped my cherry!


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## jgros001

That just ain't right messing around with generic sticks. Bastages! At least two boxes were untouched. Don't really think there was any need to rip generic boxes apart though. Sounds like some customs officials need to get laid...unleash some of that frustration. Someone send those boys a playboy.


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## Thurm15

motortown said:


> Topical thread, boys. I've been waiting a couple of weeks for four boxes of GENERIC, UNBANDED stogies, which were apparently delayed by Customs. Well, they arrived today, minus a few sticks. Two of the boxes were not opened. But somebody did a number on the other two, ripping the lids from their frames and stealing a couple from each box. I got the Customs tape job & red Sharpie. No letter, though. I mean, afterall, they were just poor, innocent ol' GENERIC sticks. The vendor is a stand-up guy though, which is very cool. Guess I popped my cherry!


From what I've read, it doesn't matter if they are banded or unbanded. The Inspector can mearly believe them to be cuban to confiscate.


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## Blueface

motortown said:


> Topical thread, boys. I've been waiting a couple of weeks for four boxes of GENERIC, UNBANDED stogies, which were apparently delayed by Customs. Well, they arrived today, minus a few sticks. Two of the boxes were not opened. But somebody did a number on the other two, ripping the lids from their frames and stealing a couple from each box. I got the Customs tape job & red Sharpie. No letter, though. I mean, afterall, they were just poor, innocent ol' GENERIC sticks. The vendor is a stand-up guy though, which is very cool. Guess I popped my cherry!


Those may very well be the ones they will be smoking at the party I am going to on the10th with all the DEA and Customs Agents.


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## Blueface

bruceolee said:


> *Exhibit A:*Here
> 
> *Exhibit B:*Here Proof of son (on the right)
> 
> *More to come*


Exhibit A only proves I offered you some FAKES!
Exhibit B only proves you have three people in a photo. Any ID verification to clearly state who those people are?


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## par

I just made it through customs this morning with a cab of Boli's that i bought in asia.


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## Pitbull

Sharing is caring Par my good friend old buddy old pal why dont you write anymore j/k


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## bruceolee

Blueface said:


> Exhibit A only proves I offered you some FAKES!
> Exhibit B only proves you have three people in a photo. Any ID verification to clearly state who those people are?


*Attn: Customs, Carlos will be here on Dec. 10th selling Canadian fakes with his son and possibly his father. I promise you I will wear a wire until you release all Canadian fakes to me*


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## Blueface

bruceolee said:


> *Attn: Customs, Carlos will be here on Dec. 10th selling Canadian fakes with his son and possibly his father. I promise you I will wear a wire until you release all Canadian fakes to me*


After a thorogh investigation, it has been concluded that someone has used my ID to post threads about herfs and smoking ISOMs. They have even gone so low as to copy and pasted photos to make it appear as if I am really there. Smolking ISOMs is something I would never do in the US as I am a law abiding citizen of Canada.

My mission is now to find out who has done this.
I have created an 800 number for tips. There will be a reward for information leading to the capture of this person.

Here is the number for all to call: 1-800-SMOKE-EM
Please help!


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## bruceolee

Blueface said:


> My mission is now to find out who has done this.


Yeah..........Just like OJ. :tg


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## colgate

par said:


> I just made it through customs this morning with a cab of Boli's that i bought in asia.


Do you really want to rub it in? Just saying. Red flag bull and all.


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## IHT

bump


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## opus

IHT said:


> bump


I read it earlier. Good info.


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## Da Klugs

Guaranteed delivery eliminates so much pain and suffering.


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## VoteKinky06

When they have guaranteed delivery does that mean that they will refund your money if the stogies get confiscated?


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## IHT

VoteKinky06 said:


> When they have guaranteed delivery does that mean that they will refund your money if the stogies get confiscated?


since this is all illegal, i can only assume that it means they'll either refund your money or send you another box, whichever you prefer... or so i've heard.
cuban cigars suck, they're expensive, and have marijuana in them (which is why everyone wants them).


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## Millow

IHT said:


> and have marijuana in them (which is why everyone wants them).


Every time i hear that i laugh.


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## VoteKinky06

IHT said:


> since this is all illegal, i can only assume that it means they'll either refund your money or send you another box, whichever you prefer... or so i've heard.
> cuban cigars suck, they're expensive, and have marijuana in them (which is why everyone wants them).


You're right, i think ill just get some fakes.


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## LasciviousXXX

IHT said:


> cuban cigars suck, they're expensive, and have marijuana in them (which is why everyone wants them).


REALLY?!?!?!?! WOW, no wonder I like them so much... LOL


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## TypeO-

IHT said:


> ...and have marijuana in them (which is why everyone wants them).


After recently having my first one, I wondered why I had the craving for fast food.


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## opus

IHT said:


> cuban cigars suck, they're expensive, and have marijuana in them (which is why everyone wants them).


My forefathers told me never to take anything that would make me weak or silly. Got any gold?


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## MiamiE

I LOVE my vendors...


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## (909)

Threadjack....Sorry

LasciviousXXX....thanks for the link!!!

Altbier HATES this Link 
http://spikedhumor.com/articles/1065...che_Brawl.html

That is the greatest link that I have ever seen, talk about bringing great joy!!!!! The 2 teams that I friggin HATE the MOST are KICKIN each OTHERS ASS!!!!!! HOW GREAT IS THAT!!!

This thing should get an academy award:

The nominees for the oscar for a major A-hole getting his butt kicked are:

Claude Lemieux for "Ouch Darren that hurts" where true to form, Claude rolls up in a ball like a little turtle and gets punked by Darren McCarty.

and

Darren McCarty in "Suprise Suprise, this guy can throw" for taking tons of punches in the face from "real" hockey player named Adam Deadmarsh.

And the Oscar goes to Claude for being one of the biggest actors that the NHL has ever known.

GO KINGS GO!!


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## Nooner

(909) said:


> Threadjack....Sorry
> 
> LasciviousXXX....thanks for the link!!!
> 
> Altbier HATES this Link
> http://spikedhumor.com/articles/1065...che_Brawl.html
> 
> That is the greatest link that I have ever seen, talk about bringing great joy!!!!! The 2 teams that I friggin HATE the MOST are KICKIN each OTHERS ASS!!!!!! HOW GREAT IS THAT!!!
> 
> This thing should get an academy award:
> 
> The nominees for the oscar for a major A-hole getting his butt kicked are:
> 
> Claude Lemieux for "Ouch Darren that hurts" where true to form, Claude rolls up in a ball like a little turtle and gets punked by Darren McCarty.
> 
> and
> 
> Darren McCarty in "Suprise Suprise, this guy can throw" for taking tons of punches in the face from "real" hockey player named Adam Deadmarsh.
> 
> And the Oscar goes to Claude for being one of the biggest actors that the NHL has ever known.
> 
> GO KINGS GO!!


linky brokie...

try this one:

New Linky


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## emgjet

Know how that feels and it sucks big time. Their follow up letters are no bonuses either.
Wish this law would finally change.


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