# Smoking in the house vs smoking what you want



## Rascal (Jan 29, 2010)

I don't smoke VA/PER. I got chased out. I forgot which one I even tried now. Usually if a description says room tolerable or better I am ok. For me the enjoyment of smoking indoors trumps having the entire menu and forced outside. I don't mind smoking cigars outside but they are super easy and I can take it or leave them so it doesn't bother me to skip them when the weather turns bad.

I have ignored VA/PER blends since then. Maybe I should try to find one with a tolerable rating and sneak it in.

Anyway, if you are allowed in the house and have a significant other are you compromising? Would you compromise if that were an option?


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## MarkC (Jul 4, 2009)

Of course I'd compromise; that's what you do when you have a significant other. If I remember correctly...


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## Magnate (Nov 27, 2009)

If my girlfriend said I could only smoke _____ cigars in the house, and the rest of them, I had to go outside... I would probably make 9 out of 10 of my smokes _____ cigars...

And I'd stash a couple other favorites for when I go out somewhere...

Then again, if I didn't think very highly of ____ cigars... I might try some negotiation... http://www.cigarforums.net/forums/vb/cigar-bombs/267383-choco-bombed.html


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## juni (Oct 16, 2009)

Aromatics and tobaccos with good room notes inside, tobacco that smells like old dirty socks outside.


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## Brinson (Oct 28, 2007)

My fiance doesn't seem to mind what I smoke.


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## ultramag (Aug 23, 2007)

Rascal said:


> Anyway, if you are allowed in the house and have a significant other are you compromising? Would you compromise if that were an option?


No, and I wouldn't allow it to become an option. I have watched these threads before and stayed out of them because what I have to say is gonna probably make some people mad.

I just can't fathom as the head of my household asking permission to do something in my own house after I write the mortgage check. Call it old-fashioned, male chauvinist, or whatever but I won't be relegated to shivering on my deck in a foot of snow in January. Just not gonna happen here. It has never occurred to me to ask permission to smoke a pipe or cigar in my home. I don't smoke cigars one right after the other daily in the house, but it's because I choose not to. I do smoke two to three bowls of tobacco in pipes everyday I'm home for the most part and I've had three and four guys over to herf in my home and we sit at the dining room table usually. It's not an every week occurence and you wouldn't know a smoker lives here except on rare occasion after one of those herfs for a few days.

I mean no disrespect to anyone, but this is just my honest answer to the question you pose. I think this kind of mentality is in a large part to blame for the erosion of our rights outside of the home as well. :anim_soapbox:


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## merryjainusa (Jan 12, 2010)

offcourse i would like of compromise, if their would be problem for others from my smoking. I dnt usuall smoke at home


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## DSturg369 (Apr 6, 2008)

My Wife likes many of the tobaccos I smoke and "really likes" a few of those, so my smoking a pipe in the house is OK. The only exception to this are blends with heavy Latakia in them. As for cigars, there are even a few of those she likes the aroma of but most of them are for outside.


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## dmkerr (Oct 27, 2008)

ultramag said:


> No, and I wouldn't allow it to become an option. I have watched these threads before and stayed out of them because what I have to say is gonna probably make some people mad.
> 
> I just can't fathom as the head of my household asking permission to do something in my own house after I write the mortgage check. Call it old-fashioned, male chauvinist, or whatever but I won't be relegated to shivering on my deck in a foot of snow in January. Just not gonna happen here. It has never occurred to me to ask permission to smoke a pipe or cigar in my home. I don't smoke cigars one right after the other daily in the house, but it's because I choose not to. I do smoke two to three bowls of tobacco in pipes everyday I'm home for the most part and I've had three and four guys over to herf in my home and we sit at the dining room table usually. It's not an every week occurence and you wouldn't know a smoker lives here except on rare occasion after one of those herfs for a few days.
> 
> I mean no disrespect to anyone, but this is just my honest answer to the question you pose. I think this kind of mentality is in a large part to blame for the erosion of our rights outside of the home as well. :anim_soapbox:


My favorite dialogue between tobacconist and customer:

Customer: I can't smoke latakia in my house.
Tobacconist: Then are you sure it's really YOUR house??? :mrgreen:

I have no significant other but I do have 3 teenagers that I prefer to keep smoke away from, so I compromise. I have a "man-cave" room where I go and smoke. If they come in, they are not allowed to complain, just as I am not allowed to smoke inside other than in this one room. But no way I'm smoking outside in an Indiana winter or during a T-storm or when it's too bleepin' hot. I pay the mortgage. I'm with you, man!


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## carguy13 (Feb 27, 2010)

i live in government housing on base...my wife doesn't care though.

if uncle sam ever found out i was smoking in the building they would castrate me with a rusty spoon.


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## Rascal (Jan 29, 2010)

ultramag said:


> No, and I wouldn't allow it to become an option. I have watched these threads before and stayed out of them because what I have to say is gonna probably make some people mad.
> 
> I just can't fathom as the head of my household asking permission to do something in my own house after I write the mortgage check. Call it old-fashioned, male chauvinist, or whatever but I won't be relegated to shivering on my deck in a foot of snow in January. Just not gonna happen here. It has never occurred to me to ask permission to smoke a pipe or cigar in my home. I don't smoke cigars one right after the other daily in the house, but it's because I choose not to. I do smoke two to three bowls of tobacco in pipes everyday I'm home for the most part and I've had three and four guys over to herf in my home and we sit at the dining room table usually. It's not an every week occurence and you wouldn't know a smoker lives here except on rare occasion after one of those herfs for a few days.
> 
> I mean no disrespect to anyone, but this is just my honest answer to the question you pose. I think this kind of mentality is in a large part to blame for the erosion of our rights outside of the home as well. :anim_soapbox:


I get it. It is your house. My problem if my wife is not happy I am not happy. I put her wants and needs ahead of my own so as long as something I enjoy doesn't bother her I am comfortable. If she says that a foul odor make her ill or makes it hard for her to sleep I take it to heart.

There are certain things she does to compromise as well. She will not fix hazelnut coffee while I am in odor range. Cooked broccoli is the same way. Because the smell lingers she waits for me to go out of town to fix her southern style cooked to death cabbage. I don't just dislike those odors I find them nauseating.

IMO there is no right or wrong way to be in a marriage as long as you both agree and no one gets hurt. Some modern women might find it offensive that my wife will fix me a sandwich if I am hungry. She has this need to take care of me even though I am perfectly capable of doing it myself. This is our home and what we do in it is no one's business.


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## Alpedhuez55 (Dec 16, 2005)

I live alone, so I can smoke wherever I want!!! Mostly I restrict it to the living room though.


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## Jack Straw (Nov 20, 2008)

Funny quote from an interview that forum member DavidM did with pipe maker Jim Cooke:

"If I hear one more guy saying that his wife wont let him smoke in the house, my brain is going to boil. Its fine to be sensitive but its not fine to become a pussy. There is far too much of that in this world. I have to be real about who I am and stake my own claim and stop understanding these other people."


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## Rascal (Jan 29, 2010)

I would not be too happy if my wife tried to forbid it without cause. As I have mentioned in the past she not only accepts it but encourages it. There are just a few blends that are off the table and cigars especially.

If it were not for the way our house works she would not care about the cigars or blends that do not leave a nice room note. She doesn't care what I do in the basement den or if it smells like tobacco. We have a 3 story home and the way it is designed the upstairs acts like a vacuum and sucks up smells and odors from lower floors. I have tried opening windows and putting a fan in but there is no stopping it. You can sit in the living room on the main floor where the kitchen is also located and not smell what is cooking but you can upstairs.

Our next house will be a single story and that will free me up to do what I want.


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## Variables (Dec 2, 2009)

I generally smoke outside by choice. I got little kids, and like dmkerr, I make a choice to not want to expose them to it.

Then again, I live in south FL. Weather is hardly ever bad enough (unless there is a hurricane) for my not to smoke out in the covered patio. I just don the cold weather gear when the temperature hits below 60 degrees


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## Brinson (Oct 28, 2007)

I've often considered what my dream house would be. I wouldn't have a "computer" outside, but my covered patio would have thin client access to my computer. Just a cheap monitor and keyboard/mouse setup as a second user logged in at the same time. That way I don't have to worry about ruining my computer but can relax in a chair outside. I would use a laptop, but in general, I despise laptops. 

That way I could smoke, browse the internet, watch movies on my hard drive...all on my patio. You can pick up monitors for $10 on craigslist. Saw an LCD at Goodwill the other day for $30. Came sooo close to buying it. 

There is a joy to smoking outside...however there are also downsides. My Fiance doesn't mind one way or the other, unless she is sick. She asked me not to once because she was sick and I didn't. Other than that, though, its purely an issue of preference.


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## BrSpiritus (Apr 9, 2009)

ultramag said:


> No, and I wouldn't allow it to become an option. I have watched these threads before and stayed out of them because what I have to say is gonna probably make some people mad.
> 
> I just can't fathom as the head of my household asking permission to do something in my own house after I write the mortgage check. Call it old-fashioned, male chauvinist, or whatever but I won't be relegated to shivering on my deck in a foot of snow in January. Just not gonna happen here. It has never occurred to me to ask permission to smoke a pipe or cigar in my home. I don't smoke cigars one right after the other daily in the house, but it's because I choose not to. I do smoke two to three bowls of tobacco in pipes everyday I'm home for the most part and I've had three and four guys over to herf in my home and we sit at the dining room table usually. It's not an every week occurence and you wouldn't know a smoker lives here except on rare occasion after one of those herfs for a few days.
> 
> I mean no disrespect to anyone, but this is just my honest answer to the question you pose. I think this kind of mentality is in a large part to blame for the erosion of our rights outside of the home as well. :anim_soapbox:


My wife is from the Philippines and is very traditional. She may joke that a certain tobacco smells like dirty socks but she never presses the issue. I try to go middle of the road. There are certain aros I like and I will smoke them to keep her happy but I don't think twice about an indoor bowl of squadron leader either. Personally I like a room note, it reminds me of visiting my grandparents when I was a kid.

BrSpiritus


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## GreatBonsai (Jun 30, 2008)

carguy13 said:


> i live in government housing on base...my wife doesn't care though.
> 
> if uncle sam ever found out i was smoking in the building they would castrate me with a rusty spoon.


Yeah... I moved off base 1) because I could and 2) because of this issue. I'm not looking forward to Korea dorms in 2 months, but I suppose I'll make do. Time to invest in a really nice, warm, cozy smoking jacket.

As for the issue, I'm single. However, if I had a wife I'd be on the fence. I assume she would know I smoked b/c we had dated for awhile. If she sets it out as a blanket rule, well... I'll need a den. I plan on moving back to Chicago suburbia after my time served in the USAF, and the winters there are NOT conducive to smoking outside. However, if she restricted only certain blends I'd compromise. What can I say, I like my own bed (and what comes with sleeping close to a significant other...).


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## MarkC (Jul 4, 2009)

Jack Straw said:


> Funny quote from an interview that forum member DavidM did with pipe maker Jim Cooke:
> 
> "If I hear one more guy saying that his wife wont let him smoke in the house, my brain is going to boil. Its fine to be sensitive but its not fine to become a pussy. There is far too much of that in this world. I have to be real about who I am and stake my own claim and stop understanding these other people."


Perhaps he might consider that other people have to be real about who they are too, and stop thinking his way is the only way. I'm not married at the moment, but my ex and I compromised on many things. Smoking was not one of them, as neither or us smoked at the time. But I really don't think I'd enjoy being married to a doormat.


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## Jack Straw (Nov 20, 2008)

MarkC said:


> Perhaps he might consider that other people have to be real about who they are too, and stop thinking his way is the only way. I'm not married at the moment, but my ex and I compromised on many things. Smoking was not one of them, as neither or us smoked at the time. But I really don't think I'd enjoy being married to a doormat.


Oh I agree - for the record, I think the guy quoted is a lifelong bachelor and lives with his sister. But he does make a good point which I think was aimed more at society in general than the typical married household. I'm happy to accommodate other people's needs when I can, but I'm not going to change who I am.


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## volltan (May 8, 2010)

My GF actualy picked out the tobaccos I like the best so we have no need to comprimise. lol just luckey i guess.


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## tpharkman (Feb 20, 2010)

I compromised with a furnace in the garage and will continue to compromise when a little more money comes in and add some type of air filtration system. I love to smoke in the heat so when the summer turns steamy i really enjoy smoking outside.

After all that is how the smoke them on the forbidden island, hot and humid most of the time I here.


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## Contrabass Bry (May 3, 2010)

It's funny....

Not wanting to labeled a "pussy" or to use pipe smoking as a metaphor for relationships, but if some were to apply a proportionate amount of attention to their significant other as they do to their pipe & tobacco, some might find that they could extend their time in the "zone". If they were as dedicated, as persistant, as contemplative and as sensitive to plumb the depths of their chosen "blend" for the subtle nuances (via attempting to change different variables-chamber gauge, packing method, air time, etc), they would most certainly be rewarded with new "flavors". Obviously there are other metaphors hidden within reference to "tongue bite" and the "over-eager" puffer OR some being better "fresh" and not benifitting from age to some becoming the most "nuanced and beguiling" memories of time spent together.

Then again, some are looking for a "quick nic hit" and would just prefer to "stuff her in a bowl" and "hit it with fire".... YIKES!

Hmm, don't know where I was going with all this....

Any way you like it, enjoy!


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## Mad Hatter (Apr 8, 2007)

I am not a number! I am a free man!


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## Contrabass Bry (May 3, 2010)

Not sure if your referencing The Prisoner series or the sound bite in the Iron Maiden song.


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## Mad Hatter (Apr 8, 2007)

Contrabass Bry said:


> Not sure if your referencing The Prisoner series or the sound bite in the Iron Maiden song.


One and the same


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## GrtndpwrflOZ (May 17, 2007)

ultramag said:


> No, and I wouldn't allow it to become an option. I have watched these threads before and stayed out of them because what I have to say is gonna probably make some people mad.
> 
> I just can't fathom as the head of my household asking permission to do something in my own house after I write the mortgage check. Call it old-fashioned, male chauvinist, or whatever but I won't be relegated to shivering on my deck in a foot of snow in January. Just not gonna happen here. It has never occurred to me to ask permission to smoke a pipe or cigar in my home. I don't smoke cigars one right after the other daily in the house, but it's because I choose not to. I do smoke two to three bowls of tobacco in pipes everyday I'm home for the most part and I've had three and four guys over to herf in my home and we sit at the dining room table usually. It's not an every week occurence and you wouldn't know a smoker lives here except on rare occasion after one of those herfs for a few days.
> 
> I mean no disrespect to anyone, but this is just my honest answer to the question you pose. I think this kind of mentality is in a large part to blame for the erosion of our rights outside of the home as well. :anim_soapbox:


WOW, that is too funny, your s/o must be pretty submissive. haha You're the head of the household. haha Do you cheat on her too becasue you are the head of the household. To me THAT would suck. Man, talk about not caring how your s/o feels. 
Actually it is my opinion that you suck also for being like that.
Again that is my opinion.

My wife doesn't like my cigars so I just beat her.
hahaaha, Hey, I write the check for the mortgage...I can do whatever the hell I want.
j/k

A relationship is compromises. If it is not then it is a poor relationship.

HA

Now come visit

B

and I am putting it politely.


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## Mad Hatter (Apr 8, 2007)

GrtndpwrflOZ said:


> WOW, that is too funny, your s/o must be pretty submissive. haha You're the head of the household. haha Do you cheat on her too becasue you are the head of the household. To me THAT would suck. Man, talk about not caring how your s/o feels.
> Actually it is my opinion that you suck also for being like that.
> Again that is my opinion.
> 
> ...


Dude, talk about politically correct! Where do you get off responding to a post like that? Chad is well liked around here and a good dude. Who the **** are you? Believe it or not, some women take pride in a traditional role in a household and some men take pride in having a woman like that.


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## GrtndpwrflOZ (May 17, 2007)

Mad Hatter said:


> Dude, talk about politically correct! Where do you get off responding to a post like that? Chad is well liked around here and a good dude. Who the **** are you? Believe it or not, some women take pride in a traditional role in a household and some men take pride in having a woman like that.


That's GREAT
I'm glad for you.

Come visit


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## Mad Hatter (Apr 8, 2007)

GrtndpwrflOZ said:


> That's GREAT
> I'm glad for you.
> 
> Come visit


Naw, that's cool dude. Not everyone is cut out to live in a "tolerant" and "compromising" household. I'll just keep yelling at my GF everytime I find the toilet seat down or hairs plugs up the drain.


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## Jack Straw (Nov 20, 2008)

GrtndpwrflOZ said:


> WOW, that is too funny, your s/o must be pretty submissive. haha You're the head of the household. haha Do you cheat on her too becasue you are the head of the household. To me THAT would suck. Man, talk about not caring how your s/o feels.
> Actually it is my opinion that you suck also for being like that.
> Again that is my opinion.
> 
> ...


How did you manage to extrapolate infidelity and domestic violence from his post? All he said was that he smokes in his own house and doesn't ask permission. For all you know the man comes home twice a week with flowers.

As to what you are saying, yes, relationships ARE about compromises. Do I sometimes ask my girlfriend to freshen up my coffee if it's cooling off, or grab me a tissue or drink from the kitchen, or smoke a pipe without asking? Yes. Do I happily oblige when she asks me the same sort of things, or do I do things that I know will make her happy, solely for that purpose? ALSO yes.

Being good to your significant other does not mean being a typical politically correct p-whipped modern "man." You can and should stake your claim where it's most important to you, as well as being willing to compromise on what is most important to her.


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## Mr.Lordi (May 20, 2007)

I have to agree with Ultramag on this one. Then again, I'm gonna be honest, I don't really want to get married. Its not really my style.

I know what some people say "Well, once you find the right one, you'll change your mind" There was only one woman who I ever even considered marrying, but not because I wanted to get married, and no one before or since. For her, I would of compromised, but never would I had been forced outside had I gotten married. lol

I'm not picky when it comes to looks, but when it comes to conversation, I'm a stickler. Most woman strike me as vapid. Which is to say, I'm always single. Thing is, it doesn't even have to be intelligent conversation, either. It can be talking about absolutely nothing to every one else, but to her and I, its engaging, even if it is only discussing our favorite films. 

I actually quote Bill Hicks on dating profiles, just to keep anti-smokers away.

"I smoke. If this offends any of you, I suggest you take a look around at the world we live and shut your F-in mouth"-Bill Hicks. I deplore having to censor a great man, but this board is awesome, so I'm willing to compromise.  lol

A bit brash? Sure, but that is just my strong personality, I don't mince words. lol

Hope I don't offend with my views here, either.


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## MarkC (Jul 4, 2009)

Mr.Lordi said:


> Hope I don't offend with my views here, either.


I imagine I disagree with you completely; I prefer a partnership to a dominant/submissive relationship, and frankly, woman who would put up with a "I write the checks, I make the rules" attitude would probably bore me to tears. But offended? Nah. Besides, I looked all my life for the "right to life, liberty, pursuit of happiness, and not being offended" clause and haven't found it yet...


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## ultramag (Aug 23, 2007)

GrtndpwrflOZ said:


> WOW, that is too funny, your s/o must be pretty submissive. haha You're the head of the household. haha Do you cheat on her too becasue you are the head of the household. To me THAT would suck. Man, talk about not caring how your s/o feels.
> Actually it is my opinion that you suck also for being like that.
> Again that is my opinion.
> 
> ...


The above post is about the most incoherent bunch of senseless drivel I think I may have ever read. In no way shape or form is it worth responding to, however it pisses me off enough that I will even though it's against my better judgement.

IMO, it says much more about you than me that the above acts you stop just short of accusing me of commiting are what you seem to feel those of us who still feel it's ok to be a man and in charge of our homes, families, finances, and such think it means. Anyone who has met my wife and witnessed us interact (and there are several on this board who have) knows that my wife is _faaar_ from being a submissive woman dominated by me. My wife is very much her own women. She happens to run her own successful business on a very part-time level and is a top notch wife and mother to my two sons. Sounds quite different than the beat down poor little submissive creature you, and to a much lesser degree a couple others, have tried to make her out to be simply because I don't ask permission to do things under the roof which I happen to provide.

Since you either weren't taught, or were simply to slow to learn, in any marriage, partnership, or agreement there are and should be roles, responsibilities, and expectations of each partner. Those are divided around here on a very traditional standard and it works quite well. We each know our roles and responsibilities and live up to them. I know that's not in line with our new modern era of thinking and I am glad for it. As I watch how wives, children, and yes, even husbands act in different families I see in my everyday travels I'll stick with my way. Excuse me, make that *our* way.

It's quite funny to also note, that this poor little diminuative creature you think you stuck up for just happened down here while I was typing my response. Yes, I let her roam freely in the house.:heh: She thought it important to be noted that she takes pride in having a husband who is still a man that fulfills his obligations to his family, as well as she takes pride in her role of caring for her family and home as any respectable wife and mother should. It seems she is as impressed with todays modern man as I am todays modern woman.

Now then, we can agree to disagree about my traditional values vs. the more modern way of running households or rather a man should have to ask permission to smoke in his home or not and that will be fine. That being said, if you ever point a finger at me with those kind of senseless accusations that have no merit, substance, or backing behind them you and I *will* have trouble. I didn't make my point of view on men who *I feel* are being dominated by women a personal attack by calling them names or questioning the rigidity of their backbones in a childish and ignorant manner and I won't tolerate my view being de-valued by questioning rather I hit my wife or screw the neighbor. It's not gonna happen!!! :spank:



Mad Hatter said:


> Dude, talk about politically correct! Where do you get off responding to a post like that? Chad is well liked around here and a good dude. Who the **** are you? Believe it or not, some women take pride in a traditional role in a household and some men take pride in having a woman like that.


Thank you Joe!!! I appreciate the kind words as well as being in the company of another who "gets it".



GrtndpwrflOZ said:


> That's GREAT
> I'm glad for you.
> 
> Come visit


How about an explanation of this "Come Visit" BS? Is this meant to be "calling us out" in some childish internet warrior kind of way??? It is in each of your posts to me and the 'Hatter but doesn't seem to be a part of your signature.


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## Mad Hatter (Apr 8, 2007)

ultramag said:


> Thank you Joe!!! I appreciate the kind words as well as being in the company of another who "gets it".


No problem..... or, uh..... more like my pleasure! Like you said, I appreciate being in the company of another who "gets it", minority though we may be.


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## MarkC (Jul 4, 2009)

You know, it would be nice if people on both sides of this, or any, argument would just realize that their way isn't the only way...


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## ultramag (Aug 23, 2007)

MarkC said:


> You know, it would be nice if people on both sides of this, or any, argument would just realize that their way isn't the only way...


I don't think myself, nor any of others who see this issue as I, necessarily feel our way is the only way. I bet most of them actually feel like me and could really care less rather we change your mind or not. I will however not stand by and be likened to a cheater or wife beater just because I don't need to be "allowed" to do things in my home.

You are one of the ones who keep trying to make the conclusion that just because I have the stand on this that I do my wife must be a "door mat" and that you wouldn't enjoy being married to the same. I'm simply trying to get across that that is really not what this is about at all and it damn sure has nothing to do with spousal abuse or cheating. I let you all take your little jabs up and until that was introduced without response.

I think perhaps alot of this really comes down to semantics maybe for both sides. There are a few key words many guys use in these threads that makes my skin crawl. Two of them are "allowed" and "permission". It seems like you, and some like you, automatically jump to a vision of me dancing around my cowered wife while gleefully blowing latakia smoke in her face just because I don't need "permission" to to be "allowed" to smoke in my home. Not so at all. I'm sure on the other side of this coin some of my words or examples have apparently been interpreted by some of those who feel as you in a much harsher way than intended.

As others who see this similiar at least to I mentioned, I do 95%+ of my smoking in my finished basement in my office anyway. I just didn't* ask* before doing so. It is away from the common area of the home and anyone who is there smelling my smoke is there by choice.

The following to me really summed all this up nicely even though at the time he posted Rascal didn't realize that we basically agree.



Rascal said:


> IMO there is no right or wrong way to be in a marriage as long as you both agree and no one gets hurt. Some modern women might find it offensive that my wife will fix me a sandwich if I am hungry. She has this need to take care of me even though I am perfectly capable of doing it myself. This is our home and what we do in it is no one's business.


For your further ridicule and entertainment my wife will also fix me a plate or a sandwich at times as well as maybe bring me down a nice glass of tea she made while I'm in the aforementioned office smoking said pipe. All this without me even raising voice, let alone a hand. Ya know, there are still some women out here who do things for their spouses beside spend, spend, spend or stand around in the annoying hands on the hips posture barking orders about where you can or can't do what just as there are still some of us men who can lead our households, earn the respect of these women through our actions, and still not dominate them or hold them back.

I think you are right. Your way isn't the only way. :2


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## smelvis (Sep 7, 2009)

Opening my big mouth and will probably regret it LOL

I understand what ultramag was saying and think he was taken out of context, I actually agree with him!!!

Sounds to me like he has a loving happy home life and he smokes in his house is all.

I am single and would also smoke in my house if I was to get hitched, hooked, nabbed or otherwise found someone silly enough to have me 

I would also split the rooms with proper air defenses if the smoke bothered her, I wouldn't be limited to just one room for smoking either. I know friends who have beautiful houses and all the house is filled with frilly stuff while their sports collectibles sit in boxes in the attic, always thought that was weird!!  

Nope if I ever got hitched we wouldn't have this problem because I wouldn't have someone who wanted to change me, except the healthy eating part.  I need that.

Many of you seem to have wonderful wives and GF's like ultramag, My hats off to ya all.

Hey I think I may have said that good enough to get outta here alive 

Peace Brothers!


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## MarkC (Jul 4, 2009)

ultramag said:


> I don't think myself, nor any of others who see this issue as I, necessarily feel our way is the only way. I bet most of them actually feel like me and could really care less rather we change your mind or not. I will however not stand by and be likened to a cheater or wife beater just because I don't need to be "allowed" to do things in my home.


I don't blame you; that was over the top.



> You are one of the ones who keep trying to make the conclusion that just because I have the stand on this that I do my wife must be a "door mat" and that you wouldn't enjoy being married to the same.
> I'm simply trying to get across that that is really not what this is about at all and it damn sure has nothing to do with spousal abuse or cheating. I let you all take your little jabs up and until that was introduced without response.


I did not say you're wife was a doormat, and did not mean to imply that. As for the 'little jabs', yeah, my first reaction came off a bit 'jabby', and I apologize for it. But don't assume that just because I don't respond to a post (thinking of the over-the-top post of *GrtndpwrflOZ *here), please don't assume I endorse it. There are a lot of over-the-top posts on this forum whenever the subject strays away from tobacco and pipes; I rarely endorse them. In fact, I generally avoid commenting on them in order to not make waves. In most posts that fit this category, the stupidity is obvious, and really doesn't need to be pointed out.

I think one of the problems in discussions like this on the internet is that you (The generic 'you' in this paragraph, not you personally! I'm including myself in this.) read a comment someone makes, and it reminds you of someone you know in 'real life' who has made the same comment. It's all too easy to assume that, therefore, the intent and mindset of the poster is the same as the intent and mindset of the person you actually know. A very sloppy thought process, but there it is. I apologize for my sloppy thinking.


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## Brinson (Oct 28, 2007)

Here's me playing devil's advocate for a bit.

Well, ultramag, its not _really_ an issue of being "allowed" to, but of concern. If you _know_ your signifigant other dislikes certain blends being smoked, would you care, and alter your behavior?

That's where it really matters. Smoking isn't the same as beating your wife or cheating, but not caring about how she feels regarding one thing is similar to not caring how she feels about another, and ignoring the fact that your actions have consequences on her life. I have no idea who you are or how you live, I'm just trying to point out the difference between asking permission to do something, and asking what the person thinks about it. No, you shouldn't have to ask permission to do something, but I would argue that people _should_ ask how the other person feels about it. If you don't ask, you don't know, and if you don't take the time to know, you're being insensitive. That's where the distinction comes in for me.

Its not about making sandwiches, but, it is about both partners being equally concerned with the other person's happiness. If she is making you sandwiches when you are hungry, she's showing you she cares for your happiness, and in turn, you should show her you care for her happiness. If she tolerates the smell of a smoke she dislikes, then that is a show of her care for your happiness, so, in turn, you should show her care. If she hates that smell more than you enjoy that particular blend, well, in my mind, it makes sense to stop smoking it. You shouldn't have to ask permission, but, at the same time, she shouldn't have to ask you to stop.

Just my humble opinion.


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