A comparison of sorts

Ok – I’m pretty new here (like duh.... just registered today... ). Yet it seems few are discussing the fine spirit of agave - tequila, cactus juice. So allow me to lighten your doldrums with a little playful sarcasm…. Let’s discuss tequila here and now. This is the place right… suds and such? Bodacious Bloofington’s Backyard Bourbon Recount…..?

The door to depravity in life is always slightly ajar they say. Some refuse to enter here after a short glance inside; others kick the door wide open never to emerge again. I tend to be of the later persuasion.

The other evening my female companion of many years (is it love, or just high-grade alcohol?) suggested we vary the menu around mi Casa and proposed a night of rum swillin’ (too many Blue agave derivatives I suppose, a taste that the people of Mexico blame for one of the highest birthrates in the world! Salud!!! ). A tequila haze had already claimed three people from our party. We were being smothered with intellectual conversation, and we needed to make a change before things got really ugly. I had just returned from a rousing week at Powell and I’m sure the Agave distillates were still monopolizing the blood count. Being the adventurous type, I agreed wholeheartedly. Neither a wise nor prudent move.

Out on the patio, food was just being served. Stuffed chiles (it is August and chile harvest time here), carne asada, spicy guacamole, grilled green onions, handmade tortillas, nopales, beans, cheese, rice, salsa and posole (the house staple), chicharrones, chicken quesadillas, gorditos, steak, and chuletas. Cigar smoke had already cast a dim haze about the room (yum!). Someone was on the phone ordering a mariachi band. Many had started dancing before the music arrived. We were in trouble. Tequila psychosis.

I walked away from the group dialing my cell phone to cancel the mariachi band and catch two young lovelies rummaging in my distillates repository (moving the fine aged bourbons around rather callously I might add). But my friend Liquid Larry’s sly smile grew as he commenced to open more bottles of tequila. We weren't out of the woods yet. At my ladies behest, the sweet young busty things had started opening the rum. My thoughts turned to….. Ahem, never mind.

I believe the difference lies mainly in constitution. Tequila is a vegetable product. Pure of earth. All natural. Mashed from pure Precambrian desert herb. Distant relative of the peyote button. Rum on the other hand – sugar. Of the sugar, by the sugar, for the sugar. As most of you know, sugar is not the body’s friend. Tequila enters the brain room as a well-dressed Mexican diplomat. Rum arrives like a well-armed band of destructive banditos. Tequila moves about the brain room with honor and purpose. Rum is bent only on destruction (no surprise it was a pirate’s brew). I believe tequila pauses only momentarily to greet the liver before moving on (my doctor might disagree with me here, I dunno). Rum arrives at the liver with torches in hand and commences to burn everything in sight, kicking the burning embers mercilessly with its pointy toed boots.

In the morning in the brain room, you find tequila has made the beds, done the dishes, and emptied the garbage, and left quietly. Rum is still there tearing holes in the wall, throwing up on the carpet, and all of the plants are dead. Tequila usually travels with its other vegetable friend, the lime. Rum knows no one but sugar, a loner. Tequila is well spoken and knowledgeable. Rum is just flat rude. Trust me here.

But I have fully recovered once again; alas my woman is still sleeping a day later (latent rum disease). I wish I could encourage my good friend tequila to clean the living room as well as it does the brain room. I have no time for this task, as the boat demands immediate attention if I am to make the lake tomorrow for a day of merriment.

Just thought I would pass on this little observation to my merry band of posters here at this fine site. Beware the rum crew. They mean you no good. :twisted:

I certainly realize Bloof that Im in the minority when it comes to espousing the finer qualities of blue agave juice, yet there are some mighty smooth ta'killyas around, specifically Cabo Wabo Anejo (my devious plan is to keep talkin’ this evil stuff up until those weaklings among you fall under the blue agave spell and we will then all be able to communicate telepathically via this alien weeds neural network……) the first sip is always free…..

I could be wrong here, but not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious anyway. (If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking tequila, I’ll bet it makes tequila shoot out your nose). But I digress……

Anthony Dias Blue of Bon Appetit magazine named Cabo Wabo one of the "Top Three Tequilas in the World", and The Rolling Stones carried off more than 12 cases after their Hawaiian tour. (Do we need more endorsement than that?) Great straight (or not).

Sammy Hagar created this brain melting tequila while off-stage in Guadalajara and ultimately brought it back to serve at his nightclub, Cabo Wabo, in Cabo San Lucas, in Baja, Mexico. It's the genuine article, 100% weber blue agave, baked in wood-fired adobe ovens, fires said to be stoked by young nubile small breasted Mexican virgins, then double-pot distilled the old-fashioned way for a rich, soul-warming mind numbing groin tingling sinus clearing (pre–enlightenment ) taste.

The RedRocker's Reposado tequila is barrel-aged in oak casks for 4 to 6 months. Like whiskey aging, more aging means more flavor and a smoother style (this is also what I tell ALL of my lady friends about us old guys…… what’s the saying… ‘Personality is the booby prize for turning forty’). The hand-blown Mexican blue glass bottles it is sold in are so friggin' cool as well that they are hard to throw away, even when they are sans cactus juice. They make great candleholders for when you have lost your job/money/dignity (not necessarily in that order) and all earthly possessions have been sacrificed to the Agave Gods…… (man needs a little light, but too much light just makes your friends look scary).
:shock:

When I think of tequila, the following things come to mind:

• a really quaint, clean little Mexican town about 3 hours from my home;
• a clear liquid in little shot glasses beside red liquid in shot glasses along with a plate of lemon and salt;
• a desire to have a bullet speedily implanted in my brain the day after I drink too much of the cheap shit.
• A night of mad body groping while your mind plays zippity-do-da with your skullcap.

Mexico Connect offers you some good articles on tequila, both the town and the beverage, which I highly recommend you take the time to read if'n you are lookin' to learn something about the agave plant. If, however, you're on a time budget, well let this be your Cigar Man’s quick guide to tequila - the beverage. I really am not an expert on the town. Because GOOD tequila ain’t at all like the cheap stuff.

Some thoughts to ponder as you are wandering the aisles of your local liquor barn are that good tequila is expensive, bad tequila can kill you (or at least make you wish you were dead), however, both can have a place in your boat/home liquor cabinet. There are two kinds of tequila – expen$ive and not so expensive.

Expensive tequila is tagged with names like Anejo and Reposado and is not meant to be wasted on a party of 100 who want nothing more than to get smashed and spend the evening making soft cooing noises to your toilet :bigpuke: .

It is meant for a party of 3 or 4 close friends who wish to enjoy a good drink, preferably half of them intelligent attractive women of loose moral fiber should the night become interesting. :wink:

My personal preference runs toward the 100% agave distillates… Cabo Wabo Reposado and Anejo as above, Don Julio Silver from Tres Magueyes, Padron Anejo and El Tesoro de Don Felipe Silver (house favorite :thumbsup: ). I always maintain two really great bottles of tequila at home - one white and one gold. This tequila is what I serve to my close New Mehican friends because we normally drink it straight, accompanied by some "sangrita", lemon and salt. They say real men drink white tequila because its flavor is usually harsher, less refined than that of its half-brother gold tequila. I actually prefer the gold, so what does that say about me? But I digress.

I also always have a bottle or two of what I call " Not So Expensive or Rot-gut" or "Margarita Grade" tequila for when my non-Agave practiced friends arrive. These are the folks that like margaritas, poppers, sunrises and other such sundry tequila peculiarities.

Not so expensive tequila can be wasted on as many people as your budget will afford since you WILL want to mix it with other ingredients to hide its slightly unpleasant flavor. This is why margaritas, sunrises and poppers were invented in the first place.

However, I recommend you try them for yourself at your own risk as I will NOT be held liable for any ill-after effects. Cabo Wabo is a pretty damn good ta’kill-ya, yet I have been known to mix it for the Waborita recepies. Those things will really knock your tallywacker into your watch pocket - so sip, don't 'drink' this herbal poison of succulent.

I'll have to try the Pyrat XO. But your point is well taken

Don Julio is a very nice tequila as well, but Del Padre Reposado (Jesús María) is simply marvelous. Haven't bought a bottle myself yet so I don't know what the hell it costs.

Reposado is Spanish for 'rested' and though the term could be used for a 100% agave or a 'mixto' it is mostly used for the former. To become a reposado the tequila must be rested in wooden tanks or barrels for a minimum of two months. It can be rested as long as eleven months (a year or longer and it is classified as tequila añejo) but is usually not done for more than six.

While we are on the subject, if you are new to 100% agave tequila I would recommend you start with a reposado which are normally smoother than the blancos while hopefully retaining the tequilas agave roots.

I drink allot more reposados than añejos for a couple of reasons. One is availability. I enjoy a good blanco as much if not more than a good reposado, however there is just simply more reposado tequila on the market.

Another factor is definitely value. Tequila in the añejo category can be very expensive and though they are very well represented in the market place, their price tags may limit consumption. Preference is also a reason as I truly like reposados for their versatility.

A good reposado is an excellent choice when buying tequila..... though I tend to prefer the ones that have not taken on too much flavor of the wooden tanks or barrels they were rested in.

I mindeth the wood not, Sire Bloofington, My Lord. It is ne'er vile nor lousey when it is rye whisky we are about. But it doth add the aroma of clouted onion-eyed codpiece to me agave, methinks.

Aye Sir... imbibe carefully Lad. For beneath my feet the earth doth tilt about merrily, tossing my ale hither and yon ya see, I shall soon be belove'd o' lee stream, and the faire maidens will die o' delight!

Aye.... the motley-minded Maiden most faire seems please'd..... I shall seize her secret delights methinks. See how she leaps under freely, carrie'd away by the evil of the Agave Gods...... :hypercolor:

vince,

I just posted a review of one of the new Mescals..... no longer the scourge (is that right? Seems like it ought to be 'skerge' :dunno: ) ..... of the well armed dental-challanged bandito..... interesting stuff. Much better than in the past.....

Vince,

To each his own. I am also a big single malt guy. Been drinking scotch since I was 21. Tequila just seems to be a southwestern/desert kind of thing. Really big out here in outlaw land. Maybe you need to be close to a cactus to appreciate it. I dunno….. :dunno: Below is my single malt short list.

- Laphoaig,
An excellent (but expensive) Islay. It is smoky, which I really like. The 15 is smoother, sweeter, and a little less peppery then the 10 y.o. Currently, my absolute favorite!

- Lagavulin Single Malt Islay, 16 Years matured
The lowest altitude of the Islay Malts, this is the most character-filled Scotch I've ever had. Not for the tame. Peaty, smoky, mediciney.

-The Macallan,
A baby-boom startup in the Single Malt business from an old family-run distillery that was providing spirits for blending. Going public allowed them to fund a high-quality Single Malt.

- Oban, 14 Years Matured Single Malt West Highland Whisky
Island style "West Highland" malt. A little smoky, but not as smoky as an Islay malt, but rich, peaty, and slightly medicinal. Nice.

- Glenmorangie (with Madeira Wood Finish) I find it the best all-around sippin' whisky, especially for whisky newbie friends who aren't sure if they like the stuff or not. I usually stick to the "younger" GM, which is quite serviceable. I like the hint of mint and fresh-mown grass.

- Bowmore 10/15 Year Old Cask Strength

- Talisker Single Malt Scotch whisky (Isle of Skye)

I ain't kissin' no cactus...... :shocked: