THIS IS A STORY
ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR
YEARS. THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE
HUSBAND'S HABIT OF FARTING LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN
HE AWOKE. THE NOISE WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND THE
SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER AND MAKE HER GASP FOR
AIR. EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH HIM TO STOP
RIPPING THEM OFF BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING HER SICK. HE TOLD
HER HE COULDN'T STOP IT AND THAT IT WAS PERFECTLY
NATURAL. SHE TOLD HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR, SHE WAS
CONCERNED THAT ONE DAY HE WOULD BLOW HIS GUTS OUT.
THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT. THEN
ONE THANKSGIVING MORNING AS SHE WAS PREPARING THE TURKEY
FOR DINNER AND HE WAS UPSTAIRS SOUND ASLEEP, SHE LOOKED
AT THE INNARDS AND NECK, GIZZARD, LIVER AND ALL THE
SPARE PARTS AND A MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO HER.
SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT UPSTAIRS WHERE HER HUSBAND
WAS SOUND ASLEEP AND, GENTLY PULLING THE BED COVERS
BACK, SHE PULLED BACK THE ELASTIC WAISTBAND OF HIS
UNDERPANTS AND EMPTIED THE BOWL OF TURKEY GUTS INTO HIS
SHORTS. SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND WAKEN
WITH HIS USUAL TRUMPETING WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD
CURDLING SCREAM AND THE SOUND OF FRANTIC FOOT STEPS
AS HE RAN INTO THE BATH ROOM. THE WIFE COULD HARDLY
CONTROL HERSELF AS SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING,
TEARS IN HER EYES! AFTER YEARS OF TORTURE SHE
RECKONED SHE HAD GOT HIM BACK PRETTY GOOD. ABOUT
TWENTY MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND CAME DOWNSTAIRS IN
HIS BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A LOOK OF HORROR ON
HIS FACE. SHE BIT HER LIP AS SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE
MATTER. HE SAID, 'HONEY YOU WERE RIGHT.'
'ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED ME AND I DIDN'T
LISTEN TO YOU'. 'WHAT DO YOU MEAN?' ASKED HIS
WIFE.. 'WELL, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY I
WOULD END UP FARTING MY GUTS OUT, AND TODAY IT
FINALLY HAPPENED.' BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD, SOME
VASELINE AND TWO FINGERS. I THINK I GOT MOST OF THEM
BACK IN.'
ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR
YEARS. THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE
HUSBAND'S HABIT OF FARTING LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN
HE AWOKE. THE NOISE WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND THE
SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER AND MAKE HER GASP FOR
AIR. EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH HIM TO STOP
RIPPING THEM OFF BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING HER SICK. HE TOLD
HER HE COULDN'T STOP IT AND THAT IT WAS PERFECTLY
NATURAL. SHE TOLD HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR, SHE WAS
CONCERNED THAT ONE DAY HE WOULD BLOW HIS GUTS OUT.
THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT. THEN
ONE THANKSGIVING MORNING AS SHE WAS PREPARING THE TURKEY
FOR DINNER AND HE WAS UPSTAIRS SOUND ASLEEP, SHE LOOKED
AT THE INNARDS AND NECK, GIZZARD, LIVER AND ALL THE
SPARE PARTS AND A MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO HER.
SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT UPSTAIRS WHERE HER HUSBAND
WAS SOUND ASLEEP AND, GENTLY PULLING THE BED COVERS
BACK, SHE PULLED BACK THE ELASTIC WAISTBAND OF HIS
UNDERPANTS AND EMPTIED THE BOWL OF TURKEY GUTS INTO HIS
SHORTS. SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND WAKEN
WITH HIS USUAL TRUMPETING WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD
CURDLING SCREAM AND THE SOUND OF FRANTIC FOOT STEPS
AS HE RAN INTO THE BATH ROOM. THE WIFE COULD HARDLY
CONTROL HERSELF AS SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING,
TEARS IN HER EYES! AFTER YEARS OF TORTURE SHE
RECKONED SHE HAD GOT HIM BACK PRETTY GOOD. ABOUT
TWENTY MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND CAME DOWNSTAIRS IN
HIS BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A LOOK OF HORROR ON
HIS FACE. SHE BIT HER LIP AS SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE
MATTER. HE SAID, 'HONEY YOU WERE RIGHT.'
'ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED ME AND I DIDN'T
LISTEN TO YOU'. 'WHAT DO YOU MEAN?' ASKED HIS
WIFE.. 'WELL, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY I
WOULD END UP FARTING MY GUTS OUT, AND TODAY IT
FINALLY HAPPENED.' BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD, SOME
VASELINE AND TWO FINGERS. I THINK I GOT MOST OF THEM
BACK IN.'
