Things to think about ... joke

Joined Mar 2005
1K Posts | 0+
Alabama
Sometimes while I'm sitting on the patio smoking one of my "better" cigars I think about events, places, and other useless things ...

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

If you have to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings".

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

You should not confuse your career with your life, because if you have a career that probably means you have no life.

No matter what happens... somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

Never lick a steak knife.

Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
 
man, that last one is 100% on the money. i damn near made that mistake once with a freinds wife. i hadnt seen them in a while and they already had one kid. i was so close to poping the question "damn your pregnant again! that didnt take long!" god must have caught my tounge on that one because im sure if it had come out it would mean certain death for me. later i asked my freind if it were true, he said no and do not EVER mention it to her.
 
You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

No truer words were ever spoken!!!!
 
dbrad4d said:
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

But I AM! :blazer: :cop: :pigsfly: